Yeah, we just need to go with the flow I guess.
I think you’re in a difficult situation so being ok and then not is quite normal. You can’t be upset all the time, and there’s too much stress so feeling rubbish is normal too. Still asyou say weekend! Hurrah!! I’ve for accupunture in a bit so looking forward to that. Take care of yourself xxx
It flies doesn’t it? Hope you’re OK x
Hey sorry didn’t get a notification again grrrrr
Hmm so no real conclusion re the scans Eh? You are right, it’s your ‘normal’ that you have to gauge it against. How are you feeling about it all?
All OK here, although I’m having period type bleeding which is odd to the tamoxifen and zoladex combo. But have oncologist second week in March so willl raise it then and also ask my practice nurse next time I get my injection. Xx
Yeah I dunno re.tamoxifen I haven’t kept track of what’s best. Mine currently is Mylan but I’ve had wockhardt too? Again if I was organised I’d keep a diary I guess lol. Hope your next two days goes well. Xxx
Haha it does read a bit dodgy lol. Hopefully you’ll be fine or even better?'! It’s a bit on and off re the bleeding. What a pain eh? Query sera sera xx
Yeah totally all ups and downs! Glad you got to sleep ok!!
Re the bleeding it’s just spotting really,no chance of anaemia I’m sure. Work had been ok thanks. Ramping up now. need to get focused lol. Glad it’s the weekend and time to wind down a bit. Hope you have a good one ?
Sounds manic as ever but you are OK? Your work sounds horrible. I don’t know how you put up with it
I’m fine thanks. Bit tired. Work is ramping up and I’m enjoying it.
But I’ve got a cough that’s keeping me awake and doing my head in sooo tired.
Did I tell you I have been paying for coaching sessions? It’s been a big help for me but really expensive. So will probably only do this set. However it’s really helped me think about my boundaries and worrying about stuff. Kinda like counselling but gentler lol! Sending you a big hug xx
Thanks! Hope you have a nice few days off. The storms are scary eh? It’s been quite sunny here since. So weird.
Your work does sound like it’s not getting better. Hopefully the additional day off will help you get a better balance
Sending lots of love x
Yay well done! Have zoladex today so will ask the nurse about the bleeding.
Glad the extra day helped.
Work is ramping up so starting to feel tired again. But all OK. My accupunturist keeps putting her fees up so I’m wondering if I should continue or look for something else.
It’s two years since my dad died today. So in the run up have been feeling sad but feel OK today. Weird huh? Hope you have a good day xxx
Time’s so strange isn’t it?
25 years is almost hard to imagine. My mum is 15 years this year and I was thinking how long that was lol! It weird with the kids isn’t it? So sad they never got to know your dad. I only met one of my grandparents, and it’s one of those things, you don’t know what you’re missing eh?
Soo jab was ok thanks, but nurse couldn’t help she said it would be ok to leave it til I see my oncologist in a couple of weeks, or I could call the breast care nurse, which I did and she said she’s talk to my doctor, it just makes sense to do it before the appointment as then hopefully it will be resolved in a couple of weeks or so.
I also called the people who are storing my embryos, army accupunturist advised I find out the chances of them working to help me make a decision re babies etc. I only have 3 and on average there’s a 60% thaw rate and apparently they can still work from an early stage (which is what they are) so something to think about.
Thanks re accupunture. You are right, I just struggle spending money on myself sometimes lol and it is a lot. Hope everything goes OK with your boss xxzx
Basically the scary decision re.coming off everything is that they can’t tell me if I will be bad or not. She said some people are OK. Some people are really not. Given that I struggled to leave my last job, can you imagine how hard it is for me to even consider that sort of risk?! I just don’t know if I can cope to be honest.
Husband only wants me to be ok. So no countenance of children. Also the dog had been difficult again so we are not getting on that well anyway. I feel a bit rubbish to be honest.
I just don’t know if it’s my destiny. I feel a bit like I’m lucky to be here so why jinx it? I dunno it’s soooo complicated.
It’s so weird that we have never actually spoken isn’t it? How bizarre. And yet I tell you things I don’t tell anyone else. Happy Friday xz
Oh I don’t think that true at all. I just blooming overthink everything. And I dont quite know if there is a ‘right thing’ anyway.
Yay well done re the run.you totally deserve the award. Typical that one of the few times you express your frustration is when they reward you so you feel a bit bad! Ten years with secondary bc? Bless her that’s amazing, goes to show that you can live with it sometimes,although it’s so hard.
Your work sounds horrid babe. I’m glad you’ve dropped a day but even so that just means the horror is compressed into two days. I guess see how the next few weeks Go? Xx
Ah that’s good news! Do you feel relieved?
Hope you’ve enjoyed chilling. I’m OK thanks. Work is v busy so a bit tired but all OK.off out for dinner with some good friends so it should be good.
Xxxxxx
Hey sounds like a tough week. Are you worrying re finances? I know it’s easy to say but your health should come first, although stressing about money has its own pressures. I’m sure you’ll navigate it.whatever you think, you’ve been amazing so far! I just started to panic about the bleeding as seeing my oncologist on Monday and so did the fatal Googling! So I have that, my colleague at work has been down again and it’s all getting a bit more difficult, I’ve not slept, still haven’t sorted what’s happening when my sister comes over from abroad (she and my other sister are difficult) husband also is out of sorts. Argh
Hope your evening is nice xxxx
Well it was mixed. My oncologist was really positive about the five year mark and said I can come off zoladex now! Hurrah! She referred me to a gynaecologist for the bleeding, the absolute joy of private healthcare was that he could squeeze me in on the same day. Although he ended up doing a womb biopsy with a local on the couch (ouch). He said there didn’t seem to be a big mass so try not to worry but then I had an internal and external ultrasound today and she said the womb is thickened and lots of cysts. So just depends on what that means treatment wise. In my head I was taking a break from tamoxifen to try for a baby but need to see what he says, as the womb being thickened can mean that the eggs don’t take etc.
Sorry work is crap. Mine hasn’t been brilliant. Woll be glad when this week is over, had an 8.30 apt and then ran straight into back to back meetings lol! Xxxx
Hmmm the afternoon got worse and I got very narky with people in my next meeting. I think any appointments plus new job are just too much stress. I think I’m just worrying now that this will be more problems and not just the chance to be normal. I’m sick of everything feeling rubbish all the time. X
Onc said 2.5 months to flush out tamoxifen
Then I can do what I want lol. Tamoxifen is prescribed for ten years so it would be a break not a finish although depends what the gynaecologist says I guess.
I just have no capacity to deal with people at the moment though. Just feel at the end of my tether. Not good in a new job. Might just make everyone hate me. X
I think I’m just feeling a bit sorry for myself. Should be celebrating the end of zoladex and instead just worrying about the womb and everything.need to snap out of it. X
Thanks. I will see what he says. It’s only 12 days to wait. Re the five years, that’s what my oncologist said, that they had put me through the ringer and it’s been a lot of hard treatment so that if I wanted to come off to try for a baby its the best time as I would have been discharged by now and it’s only recently they have said ten years for tamoxifen… I need to do something about the not suffering fools gladly thing though. Worrying about work now lol well sort of and sort of not cause I kind of don’t care at the same time. I think there’s just too much going on in my head. Weird week.
Haha so is mine! (snoring that is). I’ve been a bit slower at posting too. Maybe thats a good sign - you don’t need it so much? Or have you got other stuff going on? You have a big milestone coming too, the relief of no injections will be fab. But it is scary changing eh?
I have a real feeling there will be more stuff re my womb and everything. Just want to know what that will be now. Lol. impatient. I should just put it put of my mind and enjoy myself. Hope you’re not too cold xxx