I hope so I just don’t seem to have any discipline any more. I really need to sort it out. I’m in a cycle of long days no sleep and food to get me through.
I know re Bakeoff! I can’t believe it.
Are you feeling less sick now? X
Glad you’re better. Yes it’s probably the work stuff you will be ok once you’re there I’m sure!
My problem is the long hours that are not that predicable but I need to just prioritise it. I will I will I will ??
??? sounds nice xx
Eek work has come round so quickly hasn’t it? Can’t believe the timing with him being away. You did well to be cheery. Sounds busy so it will go quickly which is either good or bad depending in how you look at it. How many days/ hours are you doing this week?
Another girlfriend to contend with eh! Must be odd. All ok here. Saw some friends after work for a coffee. Spent too long moaning about other friends (well checking whether my reactions were wrong) lol. Was nice though although I always worry I’m too miserable ( I do joke a lot but there always seems to be something haha) x
Oh god! Hope he’s ok. I would worry too but I’m sure he will be fine.
Sorry your tummy is off. It could be worry stress always goes to my stomach. 4 hours will hopefully go really quickly. Try and take it easy over the weekend xx
Sometimes you just have to have what you fancy. I think you’ll still have a calorie deficit if that’s all you had all day!! Last day before your return to work. I’m keeping everythjng crossed that you have a good day x
Pragmatic maybe? It will be what it will be (fine I’m sure). Deep joy that you’ve got the oncologist After! You know how to plan a fun filled day eh?
I will be thinking of you but not worrying about you as you are resilient and brilliant ?
I’ve had a good weekend. Had a bad couple of days re depressing childlessness stuff which I think is exacerbated by the Zoladex hormonal effects (not me being a mental weirdo lol) and my friend who has two and it’s her whole life which is making me feel removed and wonder if I’m just a cow, but then I’ve just had a lovely afternoon with my friend who has four and I’m fine with her so I think it’s just a personality thing. It took me a long time to understand that whole friends come into your life for ‘a season, a reason or a lifetime’ as I tended to think it needed to be a lifetime, however that’s not the case eh?
Hey ho! Sending you massive hugs. Hope it’s not too traumatic. Let me know how you get on xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
How did it go? Been thinking of you.hope it’s been ok xxz
That’s the first hurdle over with! Eek it’s horrible putting pounds on! Although I wish I was only 9 stone something. Lol in my dreams.
Glad you saw the nice oncologist. Hopefully you will continue to sleep and work will be bearable. I have had an ok day. Had a lymphoedema apt and it was a new lady whos going to try something a bit different which was positive ?
And I’m seeing Bridget Jones’ baby with some friends tomorrow and then the bloke about thr job again on weds (he wants to talk context apparently so goodness knows what that means!) xx
I find cold feet relaxing lol its nice and familiar. I think you get out and about more than I do!! Climbing wall is good.i need to start swimming for my arm. Have got next week off so can start exercising then and try and make it more of a habit. If I do take this job I like the idea of walking to work…
Xx
I’ve got an android watch thing that does steps and I do like it. It’s ridiculous. I need to stop coming in and collapsing! lots of people at work said they’d exercise with me. Me and the team tend to walk a few miles at lunchtime if we get chance but it’s not enough. What will the running tit do? Make it more even? (sorry to show my ignorance!) my friends mum is having a mastectomy next week, she is a bit older so hopefully it will be surgery and then hormone tablets no chemo or radio. I think she wants a reconstruction though. When I had to have my second surgery to get rid of the lymph nodes, the worst bit was the drain. How long did you have drains after your surgery? I kept catching mine on kitchen draws. Had to go back and get it re-inserted twice lol x
Doesn’t sound remotely whingey!!! Maybe you need to stick at four hours a bit longer? Have a chat with them.there is no point killing yourself to be back at work.
Yay re the Echo! All that running is paying off whoop whoop. Just been to see Bridget Joneses baby it was really funny. Had a little tear over the baby bit but it was fab. And I had popcorn and ice-cream (diet what diet?!)
Are you back in tomorrow or do you h ax be a day off? X
Yay two days off hurrah! Make saw sure you chill a bit.
it’s a boy BTW…must remember to have cake in to watch bakeoff otherwise it’s unbearable lol take care xx
Eek just had my blood pressure taken as a well being thing at work and it’s even higher than at the docs… I wonder if it’s the Zoladex or the stress about the job cost tonight eek
Dunno. My dad did eventually have high BP but it was much later in life. I think it’s cause I’m fat and stressed lol. I will keep an eye and see what they say. Good meeting re the job. Have some paperwork to read up feel.v positive -think I’m due a scary change. Although I’ve been just reading the journeying beyond breast cancer blog which is great but sometimes I wonder if I need to not think about cancer lol. I was just reading somethjng about someone who has had met for 7 years… I don’t know if it makes me want to leap or stay more.
Anyway enough of my crap. How’s you? How do you feel after a day off? X
It’s really early days but sometimes you just know! However I wonder if I really know my mind any more lol. I feel like I change it a lot haha. They are not ramblings you need to process! I think your job is a particularly hard one to go back into, as its so demanding. Also, at this point its so hard to know how you will eventually feel, as you’re really early in the process so it’s worth giving it a bit of time, however that’s not to say you should make yourself miserable or ill doing it. Taking stock and keeping an eye on how you feel will help gauge I think. Lunch with friends sounds like a perfect antidote today so just enjoy that eh? Hope you have fun xx
Ah a lunch where you put the world to rights sounds just the ticket! Glad you have a plan. You just need to see how you get on. It’s really hard going back.
I’m good thanks. Feeling positive about the job and have a week off to sort myself out next week cant wait, just tomorrow to get through x
I will. Hurrah! Hope the course is ok tomorrow xx
Ah good. Glad it wasn’t too horrific. Did you watch strictly? I love it!
Poor donkeys. I hope they’re ok!
I had a long day but it’s finally the weekend. Hubbies bday on Sunday. Seeing friends for a takeaway on sat (was going to be dinner but they have babysitter issues) and then just a day on our own on Sunday. I should probably pull my finger out and find something to do!
Hope you have a fab weekend. Xxx
We’ve had a good day thanks. No cake but apricot tart lol.
Chilled day with movies. Had a big chat last night. He knows I’ve been sad and was wondering if I’d be happier without him. He doesn’t understand why just him and me isn’t enough. I don’t think I explained it well.i thibk we are a bit happier than we were but I thibk I need to sort out what I want. I keep thinking I don’t articulate wanting the family well enough? Anyway. I think he’s had an ok day x