That’s a good point
Maybe I should ask that. I worry that I’m too much sometimes. I do think about everything so much and whilst it makes me what I am it means that I’ve always thought about everything a million times more than everyone else it seems
I do genuinely think that I am just ridiculous and should be grateful for what I have. And then immediately think I’m not fighting hard Enough for a family followed by a stark acknowledgement of how my body is broken and I’m still crap since cancer,
Sorry! Are you still going to talk to your line manager re hours tomorrow? Xx
Thank you everything you say is making sense
I will talk to him
.X
Today I have a lymphoedema apt and a smear lol! Also need to read the job offer properly. Re the other stuff I don’t know why I find it so hard to talk about with him. I also genuinely sway from it being all I think about to thinking i should just be happy with all the things I have. Which might be why I don’t find it easy to talk to him as I can’t stick to one view… Sorry for going on hope work is ok and the chat about the hours goes ok xx
Yeah I will try and have another chat with him this week. Re work it’s such early days my lovely. Just try not to be too hard on yourself.
Re lymphoedema we are trying a new course of treatment so going to be every 1-2 weeks but normally it was about once a month to keep on top of it. Just been out to prezzo for dinner with his brother and partner so that was a nice bday thing. Hope running was good x
Doing this in my car! Have my mums cast off iPhone 5 !!!
I guess your talk will just arise one day!
Work was ok today so I didn’t talk abut hours
Also meant to say I have been sleeping better, maybe it’s the cooler weather !
Ooh cool! Glad work was better. It’s good news on the sleep front too. Yay.
I am enjoying being off ?
Fab re hair are you growing it or keeping it long?
X
Aw lovely my friend did that and it looks fab. Didn’t achieve as much as we should but it is nice being off. Not sure how well we’re getting on really, maybe the time is highlighting all the undercurrents we usually ignore!
Eek not long to go then! Hope tomorrow goes ok and then it’s all systems go Eh? Good luck xxxxx not that you will need it x
Ps I see that I wrote ’ growing it or keeping it long! ’ What a dipstick!!
You are too kind to me.
Hope you’re feeling all set.safe journey tomorrow x
I will be thinking of you.good luck good luck good luck xx
Yay! I knew you would do it! You are a superstar! Amazing! really well done.
Hope you feel ok tomorrow!
All ok here. Had a lovely family lunch today. Not in the mood for work tomorrow but I’m sure it will be fine when I’m there xx
Sounds fabulous. I’m so glad you had a good weekend xxx
Hope you can sleep and work is ok tomorrow xxxx
You haven’t been whining! Not remotely. Sending you a big virtual hug. Sounds like an awful day and you do have such a stressful job. The thing is, you know inside yourself how much you can deal with. Sounds like everyone is worried about you. Feels like your phasing has gone really quickly, and being back full time so soon seems like a lot.
Do you find you’re more emotional on injection days anyway?
Is there another job in the hospital that might suit you better in the interim? I always find it’s worth thinking about a solution before talking to someone about a problem as otherwise they can suggest things that you might not be happy about. I guess you have a couple of days this week to see how you Feel?
All ok here busy first day back have a bad eye headache and floaters in my eyes so booked the opticions as I’m worried! V short sighted (to add to my list lol).
Hope you’re OK and can sleep babe xx
Hey just wanted to see how you’re feeling today? X
You sound much better. It’s really normal to be up and down, try to remember that when it’s the down days (easier said than done)
You’re only just finished with the major treatment and still having your other injections and the tablets!
I think if you keep talking it through you will get there, and it sounds like you have some good support. Xxxx
Sounds like they are being supportive which is great. And you do sound cheerier. I think you’re doing brilliantly and you should be bloomin proud of yourself.
I have had a bad headache and eyes for three days. Panicked myself into thinking the.retina was detaching but it was an ocular migraine. I see now headaches are a side effect of the Zoladex so as I never got them before it could be that! Talking about the job tomorrow. There are a few things I’m not sure about so I think it might not happen. Either way I feel ok (might just be relieved my eyes are not worse lol) xxc
How was today? Hope it was ok?
I’m at the point where I need to.decide re new job. Dunno what to do. Think I’m ok ish on the terms. Husband is still worried about the additional stress on me and it’s not a big hike in money. I feel weird. I also finished my dad’s probate stuff today so it’s been a bit of a strange day today all in.
I text my friend and she was a bit ‘whats the worst that can happen and what do you have to lose’ and I know thats right as even though this current job stresses me out its not fulfilling me but it feels safer and change is scary. I dunno.
Also I think my friend is a bit annoyed with me but not saying (from her tone) the four of us had been looking to do a property together as friends, but her husband is the main searcher. However he keeps finding stuff near them that won’t work for us as it’s too far. My husband told him that yesterday. So when I’d been talking to her re my job stuff today I said anyway how’s you and she said she was house hunting (but for them) which I think is a way of trying to raise it with me, but I couldn’t go into it so just said thats nice have you found anything… Anyway I’m sure it will sort itself out. It is harder for us to do anything big if I get a new job and we haven’t found anything that’s gone through in two years so perhaps it’s best to leave it although it would have been nice if we could I know I need to do more to make it happen and I can’t do everything. Sorry that was a big waffle on.
Can’t believe you have to work the hours out!!! How awful. I would have thought it was an HR job? Have you got another chat lined up re hours etc? Another race - you are inspiring ? Glad you enjoyed it.
Yes we are definitely full of dilemmas. I think you’re right. It’s better to do stuff than stagnate. I’m just a scared wuss and I think it’s gone in for such a long time it never felt real. Thanks for the advice I feel very lucky to have you to talk to. Will sleep on it. Big hugs x