Thanks to all the people who wished me well for results today. Unfortunately, they didn’t get clear margins and the lymph node had 4mm of cancer in it. Back in two weeks for axillary clearance and cavity shave. They said we would have to discuss chemo if any if the ones they take have any cancer. Ugh. So upset.
Would I be right in thinking 4mm is quite big for cancer in node?
I’m feeling pretty helpless now. Thought I’d got family life sorted. You never know what’s around the corner.
Plus more waiting…and we all know how bad I am at that.
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Hi @bluesatsuma , I’m really sorry to hear this, if anything I’ve learnt is this changes all the time. Remember I had to go back in for emergency surgery and mines healing well.
I had my appointment today also ONCO score still not back, another 10 Days. Kept saying mines is falling in a grey area as grade 3 so it’s 50/50 if it’s chemo or not.
So 3 weeks time I’ll be either starting radiotherapy or chemotherapy.
One thing she did say is remember all this treatment is to invest in your future.
I know this doesn’t make it easier for you but I hope this applies to us both.
Back to this old waiting game again but remember we are still moving forward. Xxxxx
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@bluesatsuma sorry to hear the margins weren’t clear and there was cancer in the nodes. Not what you wanted to hear. The good thing is you have a plan for more surgery and chemotherapy is a back up if needed.
The thought of chemotherapy for everyone is the worst thing you can hear but thousands have it every year and get through it. I am HER2+ so had to have chemotherapy with Herceptin. I did 12 weekly Paclitaxel, I cold capped and kept most of my hair. It’s wasn’t a walk in the park but I did it. If chemotherapy is on your cards consider joining the monthly chemo starter groups for support.
I wish you well on your next surgery and hope that you have a better outcome. You are strong you can do this. Waiting is the worst but at least you will get the treatment plan designed for you.
Take care 
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Thanks @pollyanna1 and @naughty_boob. Good advice.
I am not having oncotype done now as they said as I am pre-menopausal and have positive nodes, there is no evidence to suggest it is needed. So they plan to see what the axillary clearance shows. Depressing.
I feel like I’m back to square 1.
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Hi pollyanna1
I had a grade 2 but with 2/8 node involvement. I was also told I sit in a grey area
when it came back it was 11, so starting radio this week.
Hope you get clear results
Xx
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@bluesatsuma I am so sorry to hear that you did not get clear margins . One of the ladies at my Maggie’s centre had a very similar situation to yourself . She is doing really well now 3 years down the line and has just had her second clear mammogram . Thinking of you and sending warm hugs x
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Thanks @llanwinno123. Good to know she’s doing well. I know it could be a lot worse. It’s just hard as all along I’d been led to believe it would just be surgery and radiotherapy. It seems things have now been complicated by the lymph node involvement. I guess I’ve just got to get on with it. X
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Sorry it wasn’t better news and that you’re waiting again . It may not feel like it now but you will get through this . Hope your next surgery goes well xx
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Awful news for you, hugs
Your team and the nurses here will look after you
The wait is the hardest so distract yourself by doing a few things each week even if its a short walk in the rain
You might find the Someone Like Me service helpful , details on the website and totally lovely people
Best wishes xx
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Thanks @JoanneN and @Curlywurly1. I have decided to keep busy by going back to work until the surgery. It might take my mind of it all. Also it will reset my sick pay so probably a good move in case I do end up having chemo.
Thank you for your supportive words. Hope you’re both doing well on this rollercoaster we’re all on. X
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Oh dear. Sorry to hear this. You’ can get through this 
I also had to have a second lot of surgery due to one of the margins not being clear. Thankfully the second one showed no cancer cells, so they had got it all first time, which I was relieved about. I was originally told surgery plus radio, but The histology came back HER2+ so I had a bit of a surprise when they told me I needed chemotherapy plus Herceptin. It’s not pleasant, I won’t lie, but equally not as bad as I thought…you have a bit of time to prepare, so accept any offers of help/doing the shopping etc! and be kind to yourself. I didn’t do cold cap, but know people who did and they kept most of their hair. Hoping further results to come are kind to you x
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I’m so sorry it wasn’t the news you were hoping for. I opted for a mastectomy and did get clear margins straight away but I was thrown for a loop when they told me my tumour was larger than originally thought and I had lymph node involvement too. I didnt have the Oncotype score but my ki-67 was 16 so I did go from no chemo to chemo and was devastated when I was told that. But, as others have said, once you know you just sort of get on with it. I had EC (which mostly made me feel sickly) and then moved to paclitaxel which for me was a breeze in comparison as I had no nausea with that. The IV antihistamine naps I had after paclitaxel were the best considering I’d struggled to sleep pretty much since my diagnosis. I hope you get answers and action soon. Please do keep posting on here too. We’re all here to help where we can X
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Thank you @bean81. Good to hear that you’ve come through chemo now. I will be hoping for better results next time. Hpe that you are feeling better too. X
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Well done you - I know a few people who have go e back to work between treatments . Might have been able to do that myself if I hadn’t fallen over and hurt my rotator cuff . Hope you have an understanding manager and remember you’re entitled to reasonable adjustments xx
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Hi @KChest and thanks for your helpful and supportive post. What is a ki67? I don’t think they have given me one and I’m not having onco dx either. It is scary when they change the diagnosis and then the plan as you get all prepared for one thing and then the path changes. Glad you’re ok and doing well now. Thank you x
Thanks @JoanneN. My boss is great and will review how I’m doing. She knows I’ll only be back a few days before op and then we will have to wait and see what treatment plan develops. I honestly have no idea how I will manage with a busy school with hundreds of little eyes on me! X
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It will be good for you to keep in touch with what’s going on at your work at the very least and you won’t have much time to dwell on things either xx
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@bean81 that drug sounds amazing. I am so glad that there is so much they can do to help us these days. New treatments are approved constantly. Just 1/4 to go now! Well done. X
Not all centres give you or test for Ki67. I saw a video with an oncologist going through the predict tool and said if you don’t know just click unknown.
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Pretty horrible side-effects, but at least I can work from home with reasonable adjustments. I am 3/4 of the way through those now 
I can have fewer drugs soon, even though I am of course extremely grateful to have had what I have had 
All the best x