Hi, Im new here just looking for some advice or I guess to air how I feel.. I’m feeling terrified and lost and scared. I’m in my 30s and found a lump the size of like half a grape and have been to the Breast clinic yesterday. When I went to see the registerer he said he thought it would be a cyst but when I went in for the ultra sound she said could be fibroadenoma but because some of it wasn’t smooth and think she said something about something being hard (can’t remember) she wanted the biopsy and did some biopsy’s and scanned my underarm. Felt like she was clicking the mouse under there a lot when she was scanning. Then I went back into the first room. They have booked me an appointment in 3 weeks time for the results and didn’t give me any inclination of if it’s anything or not as they can’t say until they have results. I’m just so scared. I don’t know what to do with myself. Do they call you sooner if they find something or do they wait until the appointment? I’m just so so scared, I feel sick and struggling to eat. I don’t know what to do. I think they said it’s around 15 days for results to come back. I just thought I’d see if there’s anyone going through similar.
Thanks
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Firstly hello and have a virtual hug.
To quote the radiologist who did my biopsy of a similar sized lump “if it is cancer it’s tiny and will be very treatable”.
The waiting for results is the longest. Pathology can’t be rushed and then at my hospital you have to wait for the whole team meeting to discuss it and the way forward. Be warned you may then have to wait for further pathology tests on the same sample and I had an MRI too.
Fingers crossed yours comes back as a fibroadenoma. I’ve lived with one of those for 45 years and they left it in place when they removed my other lump.
Whatever happens they’ll be a treatment plan for you, there are many people here who had their treatment years ago and are thriving.
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I’m sorry to find you here - I’m several years past treatment now but I don’t think any of us ever forget how awful it is waiting for results - honestly many of think it’s the worst part of all whatever the outcome . Some clinics will tell you if they are almost certain it’s cancer ( mine did ) some won’t until all results are in or they may genuinely not be able to say what it is that they’ve seen - whether they are benign or not anomalies don’t always present the same way and because you’re young you may have dense breast tissue which can make things more difficult to properly visualise . Time plays really nasty tricks on you when you’re waiting and what might normally seem a relatively normal if inconvenient wait for an appointment can seem an unbearable one .
The things that helped me were trying to do things I loved every day which brought me into the moment and helped me forget for a while . The evenings were the worst but I made myself take a day at a time and think of the lovely things I had done that day and what I was going to do the next day . It’s the lack of control that gets to you but try to just take a day at a time . If you drink a lot of caffeine try to cut back a bit as that can fuel anxiety . Please resist the urge to Google until you have your results as it can take you to all sorts of places you may never go in real life and a lot of it is out of date .
There’s no right or wrong way to feel and it’s up to you to decide if you want to share what you are going through but if you do I would advise just with a couple of people you trust to be discreet . A cuppa with a good friend can help a lot. Some people find that work is a good distraction , others like myself went off sick and a lot may depend on your job , what you do whether you work alone / can work at home / if you are in a team if it’s a supportive one . I lost my filter a bit ( snapped my friends head off - we are still friends though ) which isn’t ideal being as I’m a Nurse and after turning the microwave on twice without putting the food in first decided that everyone would be safer if I stayed at home.
One thing that helped me was finding out how many breast cancer survivors were in my social circle . I’m currently in a support group that has 45 members on WhatsApp plus others who communicate about meet ups by email - I say it’s a support group but we do nice things like drink tea and cake and often don’t talk about cancer at all . Because breast cancer is a very common disease treatments are constantly improving and although we probably all know someone who has had a bad outcome we walk past the people who have survived in the street every day .
A few people also confided to me that they had had to go and be investigated and various benign conditions were found .
You might find it helpful to speak to the Breast Care Nurses on the helpline here who are available Mon- Fri 9am -4pm and Sat 9 am to 1 pm on 0808 800 6000 . This is a safe place where you can ask whatever you want or say however you feel and you may feel that you can’t get through this but you can and you will . Sending lots of love .xx
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@JoanneN @bluetit11
Thankyou so so much for your advice and replies. I’m really struggling to take my mind off things. The evening is the hardest bit. I’m playing out all these things in my mind and then that sets me off crying. It’s so hard to be myself as I can’t be. My thoughts are just non stop. Thankyou so much for your advice. I’ll try the nurses line. The not knowing and waiting is so tough. I hope everything is good with you both.
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As my grandmother would say “don’t go borrowing trouble” worrying with achieve nothing and 99/100 things your imagining won’t happen. It’s hard but try to shut stuff down until you know what you’re dealing with.
Having said that I spent 2 whole days working out how to get a wig, chose a style and found out where I could get it cut to suit me only to find out I didn’t need chemo….
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Thankyou. I just feel stuck if that makes sense. I know, What you’re saying. My mind is just there you know. Feel really sick and if I do get a moment not thinking about it it soon goes back then I’m in tears again.
Bless you, I hope you’re all ok now.
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I know.
Also breast cancer is weird because you don’t feel like you’re ill. No symptoms usually.
Go gently x
Thankyou for your advice and kindness
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@321_cake Welcome to the forum, we are all here for you with love.
I think @JoanneN and @bluetit11 have offer so much excellent advice, I would like to wish you well, fingers crossed for a good outcome.
Take one day at a time, please let’s us know how your getting on.
With the biggest hugs Tili 
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@Tili thankyou so much. Woken up in tears again. I’m so so scared. I really appreciate you all being so kind. Thankyou. I’ve prayed and prayed. My mind is just all over the place. I hope you’re all ok. Best wishes
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@321_cake It is absolutely the feeling of a lack of control that causes the anxiety at this stage as there’s nothing you can do to influence the outcome. I’ve found that the integration of acceptance of what I cannot control and proactivity around what I can has been the most valuable skill I’ve learned during my cancer pathway. It’s hard and I’m not a master yet, but I’m getting there.
@bluetit11 Your grandmother sounds like a wise lady! I also like “worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. It’ll give you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” 
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@mssteel Thankyou for your reply and advice. You’re all so lovely. So true. I just feel like I’m falling. I’m so frightened and and the results feel like forever away, Then you go over the appointment in your head and all different things. Then the next appointment what could happen and I’m just on autopilot. Thank you for your kind advice, I hope you’re ok. Best wishes
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I drew on my Yoga classes and wild swimming . Also I’ve done mindfulness in the past which helped though there were a couple of days when I was a basket case waiting for the results of my first procedure which I already knew had failed . You describe it as being stuck in a track - that’s exactly what your mind is doing right now - it’s on a loop . Sit comfortably upright and try to breath slowly into your abdomen - concentrate on your breathing . Don’t try to push your thoughts away or empty you mind - it’s impossible . Acknowledge the thoughts that are there but don’t follow them , bring your attention back to your breathing . Eventually you will get a few seconds of peace .You can’t stop the thoughts coming but you can get control of where they take you - your thoughts are not real .
If the sun is still shining where you are and there’s a nice green space nearby get outside and walk - even if you don’t feel like it . If your body is working your mind will settle a little . Remember you are the same person that you were before your appointment .
If you don’t feel any better tomorrow then still contact the Breast Care Nurses but also think about speaking to your surgery about your anxiety . You can post anytime you like if it helps - we will be here for you but while you are here you are spending time with people who have had or think they may have cancer and that might not be the best thing for you right now xx
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@JoanneN Thankyou for your reply and advice. I’ll have a look at phoning tomorrow.
Best wishes
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I’ll be thinking of you . I meant to say I love the name you’ve chosen to post under xx
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@JoanneN Thank you so much.
My biggest regret is not having someone with me when I went for my first check up …ever since then I have had someone with me and we had prepared questions for that person to ask and make notes of all that was said.
Always have someone with you to take notes and ask questions.
Wishing you all the best .
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Thankyou that’s great advice.
Thankyou you too.
Just to add to having someone with you during appointments. I personally don’t do it as I would find it distracting and would be overly concerned with how the other person is going to react. However I think for me this is a case of not having the right person to take in so when choosing, it’s worth thinking about whether that particular person will help or hinder!
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