I have my first chemo next week (wednesday) and as the day gets nearer I am getting more scared!! I am going out tonight for a pre chemo meal/drinks but
I am getting more stressed and agitated. I have read quite a few threads on what to eat drink etc but my mind seems to be wandering. Went to see the wig lady this morning and my OH kept cracking jokes about the wigs (and I just thought shut up, you may be balding but I am a woman and should have hair) hopefully the cold cap will work and i won’t loose it/much.
Why do we have to have this treatment, I’m not a nasty person and there are many others around who are and are walking around happy as larry!!!
Sorry to be a misery hopefully once I’ve had a drink and a laugh with my friends I will feel better
I understand how you feel, and felt very much like you before starting.
I was told by a friend that when I was having the chemo not to think of it as horrible chemicals, but visualize love and healing coming into my body instead of a cocktail of drugs. It helped me through my first chemo. Have just completed 3rd half way through.
I think I speak for everyone thats had it or is still having it, that starting chemo is a very scary thing. I defy anyone to say they weren’t apprehensive when they went for their first session. Personally, I was shi**ing myself!!! Don’t think I slept for a week and felt physically sick when the day finally arrived. I must’ve been a nightmare to live with!!!
I really needn’t have worried though cause it was nowhere near as scary as I had allowed myself to imagine it would be. The first time you go everything takes a while as there is usually reams of paperwork to go through. They put a cannula in, pop a saline drip up and usually give you some IV anti-sickness meds. Once thats all done they will prob start with the chemo. If you are having E-CMF or FEC it will come in syringes, some of which are quite large. The Epi is red, just to warn you! The nurse will stop your saline drip and start administering the chemo. It will be done very slowly and they are with you the whole time. After its finished they usually give you another IV anti-sickness med and let the drip run through.
When I went for my first session I cried like a baby as the chemo started! I was so scared of how it would make me feel and it was just fear of the unknown really. Thankfully the tears soon stopped and before I knew it the cannula was being taken out and I was on my way home. My boyfriend takes me for each treatment and having his hand to hold is a great comfort! The chemo day centre that I go to is a nurse led unit and I am always in and out in no time. All units are different though, and if you are gonna give the cold cap a try obviously you will be there a lot longer.
I am also having chemo next weds so you’re in good company. Mine is at 10.30, what time is yours? I will certainly be thinking of you. My fingers and toes will be crossed that your first experience is as positive as mine was,
Hope you are OK. Just wanted to tell you that chemo is doable. Think we are all so terrified at the thought of it, and get worked up about it, but just wanted to say that it is not as bad as we all fear and you will get through it. My session started with an anti sickness table by mouth, then a steroid anti sickness tablet intraveneously. This was followed with saline which cleans the veins through and then the chemo started, one part is done through intravenous and then I have 4 syringes with the rest of the chemo which are just inserted in the cannuala (splt wrong) and non of it hurts. I am on FEC x 3 and then taxotere x 3. I sit in an armchair, with my feet reclined eating sarnies and drinking tea. I go with my OH for company too.
Luckily I have had no side effects really, I take the anti sickness tablets that I am given and have had no sickness either. But if you do suffer, you must tell the chemo nurse or your onc, or someone and they will try a different set of antisickness tablets, until they find one which is good for you.
I have lost my hair. It happened about 18 days after first treatment and I decided to shave it off, as was coming out in clumps and I could not wash or comb it. I did have a wig ready, which I bought the day after my first chemo session. It is a very emotional hurdle to have to cross, and one which I found so very hard. But once I had had my hair shaved I started to feel a bit better, although I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I wear my wig everyday, and then hats at night. Everyone thinks my wig is fab, and I am slowly getting more used to it.
I hope this helps too, but remember you do things at your pace when you are ready. Don’t let anyone rush you. If you need anymore questions answering let us know, cos everyone will help you.
You will find heaps of support on here too.
Good luck and let us know how you get on.
Take care
Love
Dawn
x
Like Kelly and kim i was very apprehensive before my first chemo. It is however very doable and wasn’t near as bad as i had imagined. All of the nurses were great and took the time to answer any questions that i had. Don’t be afraid to ask if there is anything you are unsure of. Don’t know what you are having, like Kelly said the epi is red and it turns your wee a lovely shade of pink, i was so glad i had been warned about this as i would have pannicked.
I take lots of water with me and try to drink loads to help it flush through and the time has passed before i know it. I have had 2 FEC and i have yet to find the time to pick up my book.
Hope you manage to relax tonight and that next Wednesdy goes well.
Thank you so much for your comments its good to hear from you and makes me feel much much better, my chemo is at 10aqm Wedmesday so fingers crossed all will go well.
I went last night so am sitting here still in night clothes mustering the energy to get dressed!!!(so much for rosy wine!!!
I will be having 6 x FEC and I am going to try the cold cap, my OH will be coming with me so at least I have company.
After I wrote this thread I had a chat with my OH as he was making wise cracks about loosing my hair and billiard balls (normally I would laugh) but yesterday I took it badly and I told him it wasnt that funny (if I say it it is!!!) and that I may say things that normally I wouldn’t and he understood.
Thank you again ladies where would we be with out this out let.
Keep brave
I am on the same regime as you 6 x FEC, it is doable as the others say.
I agree thank goodness for this forum, don’t know where I would be without you all.
Have a lovely weekend.
Will be thinking of both you and Kelly next wed and anyone else up for chemo zap next week.
I just want to mirror what everyone else has said. I’m also on FEC x 6 just had my third one yesterday!
As eveyone else says it is doable… I remember how I felt before my first one - scared was not the way I would
have described it Petrified - but I think this was because I did not know what to expect plus it made iy a little more real for me…
The nurses were great, cheerful, informative and supportive…
Like everyone else I dont know were I would be without this site!! I have found it to be God send…
Enjoy your weekend - go out for a pre chemo meal!
Oh and mines red!!!
Will be thinking of you on Wednesday!
Let us know how you get on.
And remember if you have any questions I’m sure someone a here can help!
Jut one more tip - drink loads of water!!!
I start Chemo on Tuesday, and like you Lesley am absolutely dreading it.
I have tried to visualise it as a liquid that is going to make me get better - and try not to let the negativity of all the endless side effects faze me - but they just creep on in, regardless.
Going to try cold cap too - but have a v.sensitive head, so don’t know how I am going to hack it - but will try! Going to take a freezer bag with some pineapple ice loll’s as well - I read on a thread on here that pineapple is good, as your taste might be impaired.
Drinking a lot of water/juice is going to be a new regime for me! I thought of putting a tick box on the fridge so that I DO drink something - I drink v.little, tea, occasional orange juice/other juices (gin and tonic excluded, of course!).
Will be thinking of you next week. As other threads have said “Chemo IS do-able”. So lets get it on and bloody do it!
Chemo is doable. Yes, regard it as a treatment to help you and focus on this. I am sure you will feel better (in some respects) at least when the first one is over. I know I did. Having something else to think about - family, work, etc is a great help too as a distraction. By the nature of my job, I had to go from chemo to work, fortunately home-based, but this meant no time to dwell before or after.
I have had 3x FEC and 1xTaxotere. Hey, it’s not pleasant and you have prob at least two days where you will feel rubbish, BUT it is worth it…we’re worth it!!! My lump has shrunk from 5.3cm to 2.4cm after 3xFEC and is even smaller now - so if you know it works, that helps get you through. I am finding Tax tougher than FEC but it has gone surprisingly quickly (although I get v.v.v cross when other people tell me that!!!).
Make sure you take your steroids/anti-sickness as instructed and ask for more straight away if you feel nauseous, they doubled my dose for FEC#3 and I had no nausea or sickness at all. Drink loads of water too that really does help.
Wishing you well as you start your treatment
Love and hugs
Ali
x
Ooh - forgot to say, try the cold cap if you are worried about the hair thing - it worked for me (i know it doesn’t work for everyone)…just make sure it fits as tight as poss and it touches the crown of your head otherwise you’ll get a stunning friar tuck styleeee. xxxxx
Thanks so much for your comments they are really helpful
Karen: Keep in touch, although I know I’m not the only one finding someone else having it done the same week is very helpful.
I have already had a mastectomy and as I had a lumpectomy 12 years ago with radiotherapy cannot have this again so chemo is all I can have I cannot have the wonder drug Herceptin as this time is not hormon dependant.
I am now going to put some of ther makeup on that I got on the “looking good feeling great” session to make me feel better.
I am suffering a little this morning as I went out for a pre chemo meal/drink with soem of my friends from work!!!
Like Kelly I’ll be thinking of you. I had 8 FEC and ended up in tears in the waiting room a few times.
I went for compilmentary hypnotherapy and ended up thinking of the chemo as little pacmen going round my veins gobbling up cancer cells. Then because of white cell decline I thought of white knights blowing bubbles and making more white cells.
Don’t know if it worked but sitting with eyes closed, trying to relax and thinking stupid thoughts is better than anything else.
Just wanted to say good luck Lesley. I’m sorry you’re having to go through this too.
It’s so daunting facing the first session but I never found it as bad as the anticipated, and Marilyn’s recommendation of “visualisation” is great. I have some CDs by Doctor Rosie Daniel who recommends this and claims there is some belief that it works for some, the power of positive thinking.
See if you can get hold of the CDs, I also find them so relaxing they send me off to sleep the night before my chemo. Look her up on the internet.
Thanks so much for your comments I feel they are all valuable although I did have to laugh at the chemo being pac men but i will definately think that. I have some CD’s and will also listen to them before I go to sleep, I feel like I have been a right pain this weekend snapping at everyone but they have been very good and understanding.
We went to the beach today and walked along the sand and it was lovely being away from hospital appointments.
My brother, sister in law and my new 4 month old niece go back to America on Tuesday which will be very sad, I will have to put a brave face on, I think Tuesday will be a day I will get on my ginger stuff (recommended by alot of you ladies) and then D Day on Wednesday!!!
Kelly - good luck Wednesday I will be thinking of you.
Having a wobbly day! Am nervous about starting FEC tomorrow, then my 11 year has come down with Tonsilitus, went to put the heating on and nothing happened! Phoned hubby at work, tried several things, but the boiler was having none of it, by this time I was generating enough heat to keep the whole house warm, daughter looking at me like I am the nutter on the bus, well I was red faced standing on a table and trying to see if the pilot light would come on!
Phoned British Gas and got told that they could not come today, but would tomorrow, I said that wasn’t possible because I am having chemo - Wednesday it would be - at this point I cried down the phone, lady the other end was v.nice, asked her Manager to get me a visit today - they said no. I said goodbye, like some whailing banshee, (honest, I think I had lost the plot, anyone would think it was 10 below zero - but the no hot water… well, it pushed me over the brink!). Then… she phoned me back and said that she had spoken to another manager and that I would see someone today!
Hurrah!!! a result!
So after this morning, tomorrow should be a breeze (a warm one, not a cold un!).
This forum keeps me sane!
Lesley - you bet I will keep in touch, we gotto swop notes!
Lots of luck to all of you just about to start chemo, part way through or even luckier - coming to the end of it.
sorry to hear about your boiler nightmare, not what you need right now!! How lovely that woman was that called you back and managed to get someone out to see you today, bless her! We had a mare last year when our boiler played up and we tried to get British Gas out asap, not a chance!! Thankfully the next day it sorted itself out. We’ve actually just had our boiler serviced in anticipation of the winter, now our washing machine is playing up, refusing to spin. Aarrgh!!
I wish you well for tomorrow. Personally I was shi**ing myself when I started Epi and again when I switched to CMF. I was a right weeping willow on both occassions, made a right show of myself at the chemo day centre! It was really ok though, and I’ve no doubt that you’ll be ok tomorrow. I will certainly be thinking of you and sending good vibes your way!!
Take care and I hope the British Gas man turns up sooner rather than later!
I went to the chemo centre yesterday it was a lovely place, leather hey had however problems getting a blood sample so I may have to have a line, they will try tomorrow and if not successful I will have a line.
Karen: hope your boiler issue gets sorted, thats all you need when it looks like the weather is getting worse Hope your chemo goes well today, let us know how it goes
