Hi Lorraine,
I know from experience that your work mates will make a big fuss of you. Some of them will say some strange stuff, as the word Cancer sends everyone a bit funny, BUT you will be strong and they will respect you so much for that. Christmas 2010 was when I was having Chemo. I did Cold cap so I did not lose my hair, but I so did not want to go to the Xmas party. What would I wear and everyone would look at me, but I did go. I had a great time and I remember that one of the new young boys lifted me up on the dance floor and spun me round. he had obviously heard that Tracy was a party animal. !! So Lozza I know you can do it and I think you You know you can do it. So go , have fun, and if you dont want to stay as long as normal , then come home. Remember if you stay at home you will only sit feeling sorry for yourself.
Lotsa Love Lozza xxx from Trace xxx
omg Trace - can’t believe you’re on and just posting!! bless you - big hugs - and I so hope you realise what a treasure you are!
xxxx
Hubby is telling me off for still being Online! He is a big softie really but I have work in the morning so I will say Nite Nite and Sleep tight x. So glad your daughter is looking after you. My daughter finished with her boyfriend on Tues so I have been sad all week as she would have been going out with him 2 years in Feb. He was like a son that we never had. Anyway take care. Love Trace xxx
Good luck for tomorrow Everylittlebreeze - will be thinking of you x
Haha - he sounds like mine!! Altho to be fair - I think he’s just relieved I’ve found another coping mechanism as I seem to go from tears to laughter to back again within minutes!!
So sad when there’s a break-up - especially when you’ve connected with them… perhaps you can still stay in touch? Or would that make it too awkward for your daughter?
Difficult one x
Sleep well xx
Lozza x
Thanks, that’s sweet of you to remember! Not long now.
Hello to you both,
How did yesterday go ? I was thinking of you and praying that EB got good results. Let us know how things planned out for you.
Did you have a good time at the Christmas party Lorraine, I hope you was the party animal and got rid of lots of built up tension. The others love to see you having fun !!
Take good care of yourselves. Speak soon, off to work now. Love Tracy xxx
Hi Tracy
Well the party went well… got myself a purple sparkly number reduced from £79 to £29 and something to go underneath to cover up the bruising! Other than a couple of ‘awkward’ moments it went well.
Today was spent doing the rest of the Christmas present shopping, wrapping them up but for some reason… I was on a downer. I think I need my date now so I can just get on with it… it feels a bit like I’m in limbo and work have already said that I need to chase it…
Tomorrow will be glorious food shopping with the billions of others doing theirs… Have to say that I’m not looking forward to Christmas Day - my mum can be difficult… its an awkward relationship and far too complicated and painful to explain… and I have to be careful as my daughter is very protective of me at the moment. So strange… I wonder sometimes who is taking care of whom … role reversal seems to have started far too early!
On a positive - Yesterday I met with a friend I hadn’t seen for years… she’s recovering from stroke-like symptoms and it was lovely to have a laugh at ourselves sharing the sillyness that our situations bring as well as our dark humour! Still feels like a roller coaster and I guess it will continue to.
Do hope you had a good day at work and that everything is going well for you too Tracy. You deserve to be spoilt rotten EVERY day - not just at Christmas, and I’m both touched and honoured that you posted today. Bless you x
Everylittlebreeze - Glad to read on another posting that your results were clear. Wonderful news and thank you for coming back to let us know xx
Take care
Lozza xx
Hi Lorraine,
I have sent you a personal message so that you do not stay down for long. xxx Love and hugs Tracy xxx
Thank you Tracy x
How are you doing Lorraine, you have gone all quiet on us, I hope you are feeling okay ? Sending you love and hugs Tracy xx
Think Lozza awaiting her WLE tracy. Had mine with wire localisation thingy beforehand. Into theatre 4pm - home by 7.30…TODAY lovely anaesthetic (after poor night’s sleep last night and getting up 4am to make a bacon buttie)
Am fine and a bit of a fraud as feel great - 0bviously a bit sore but I’ve had worse pains. Apparently I look no different to yesterday.
Back to the waiting game to find out if they managed to scoop it in one go.
If you are reading Lozza or anyone else from the cohort awaiting their surgery after core biopsies… or anyone newly diagnosed after core biopsies (mine high grade stasge 0 est=ve high and Pro+ve medium 50mm )… thoughts with you all
V
x
Hi Toriaconey,
I think Lozza has a date for 9th Jan so I was checking how she was , as the waiting was the worst for me. I went back to work in between as I could not face being at home staring into space.
I hope things go as planned for you and that you continue to feel well. Sending you love and healing thoughts Tracy xxx
Hello wonderful ladies… sorry I havent’ posted earlier… I get lost on here sometimes… reading other threads etc. Everyone is so wonderfully honest and open in their postings and I find I get caught up in them…
Have had a few dark days … luckily found the Dark Woods and know where Benchland is now!
V - Glad it went well and hope that you heal nicely… and that you are coping well… sending gently hugs on your good side!! My turn next week and have had my appointment through for the radioactive injection through now… same day as op. Have been doing lots of reading up on Radiotherapy and tamoxifen - such a lot to take in… but feel ready to read about it now.
Tracy - bless you, checking on me to make sure am ok… I am… As I feel as well as I am going to be for a while, I want to make the most of it so have taken the time up to my op as holiday! So my sick leave actually starts on my op day… will need to ensure I get a sick note from hospital/consultant/need to find out… Its a bit weird actually, I find myself in a sort of ‘nesting’ mode - and can only liken it to when I was nearing the end of my pregnancies!! hahahah - how flipping mad is that! But honest - have been happily cleaning away and washing… am such a dozy donut!! But its ok. Plus - I feel I can go out and have fun… cos I’m on holiday rather than having to say I’m on sick leave! Am not in denial - least I don’t feel I am!
And… to cap it all… I got my results for my assignment for the course I’m doing with Open University and I got 98%!!! Now I have to decide whether to continue and finish the final part or defer it until October! Tutor has been marvellous and is finding out all options for me. Would like to keep my brain active if possible - don’t want to go into daytime telly mode… please save me from Jeremy Kyle!!! The telly has stayed off all day and I want to keep it that way!!
Well … as rambling on now… only found out my mark tonight so still on a high! So wonderful to have something positive to say!!
Lots of love and hugs to you both, thank you for caring.
Lozza xxx
Well Done Lorraine ,you clever little bunny.
You knew you could do it! I guess this has given you the incentive to carry on and I think with your PMA ( positive mental attitude ) you will continue and finish the course as planned. Like you say it will save you from the TV. I remermber the girls at work saying to me that I would be able to watch Loose Women and other programmes but I am not a telly fan at all. I much preferred to have my friends round for a natter and to take me out when I felt like it.
Must try and sleep now. I have been scattered with fairy dust now by one of the sleep fairies. Well done again Lozza. You deserve it all that hard work you put in. Lotsa Love Tracy xxx
Bless ya Tracy… hope the fairy dust worked its magic and you had a lovely sleep.
Been a funny ole day today. Message left on my phone from OU asking me to ring them re deferring… I may not have an option… 
Added to that… I received my follow up appointment for my WLE/SNB op on Wednesday… so upset to see that its not until 29th January!!! Very nearly 3 weeks to wait for results… all this waiting around… Am trying to turn it around by thinking that my boob/underarm recovery will be better by 29th… So trying to be positive about this.
Might have to go to benchland for a mighty rant if ONE more person tells me how brave I am! Its not like I have a choice… I want to live! Bl**dy plattituders!! (Not even sure if thats a word lol!).
Gonna have to do something about the weight issue… at the very least lay off all the chocolate stuff lying around the house. Funny how something can seem a good idea at the time and then in hindsight… like mirror wardrobes!! ‘Will make the room look lighter and brighter’ I say, ‘Are you sure’ says OH… ’ Absolutely’ I say! Result? Not a pretty sight in the morning, definitely not a pretty sight naked, with bruised boobs AND an ever expanding belly!! Oh dear!
Perhaps going cold turkey isn’t a good idea… rations… oh yes… that’ll be the way to go. A little of what you fancy does you good!
Will sign off - hope you’re well… and in a good place xx
Have finally binned the holiday brochures… will get some new brochures when this has been beaten… it wasn’t helping seeing them around. Emotions are still up and down … yo-yoing constantly… but am bearing up quite well… although have the dentist on Monday… oh gawd… exciting week next week not! 
On the upside - have a lovely shopping day planned tomorrow with my bestest mate… and some vouchers to spend!
Hope you get a lovely sleep tonight too… hopefully I’ll be grabbing me a sleep fairy of my own! Hubby has a stinking cold at the mo and daughter has the beginnings of one!! So hope I don’t get it… the last thing I want is to have to cancel Wednesday! :o(
Sleep well… sending super big hugs and love to you
Lozza xxx
How are you feeling Lorraine ? Let us all know if you need any support , we are thinking of you and sending you love Tracy xxx
Am ok - had a little wobble yesterday … but am getting there albeit slowly. I’ll be on the LWA bench (long wait ahead)
hugs - gentle ones lol xxx
Thats fine, you just rest and take it easy. Its a beautiful sunny day here in land locked Derbyshire. Are you near the sea ? xxx
I’m pleased to hear you are back safe and sound Lozza. Ditto what Tracy says - rest and easy. It’s a marvel that the sun is out and about. Enjoy all who get some of its rays.
V