Dear Corinne
I hardly ever come on this forum anymore, but saw your post and thought I would add my two pennyworth…
I was dx at the end of July last year (2009) and can’t believe almost a year has past since that dark and horrible time.
I did not have node involvement, but I don’t really think it makes as much difference as we are sometimes lead to believe.
I remember being just like you. I could not eat or sleep. I lost over a stone and went down to a size 6/8 ! I looked terrible.I got myself some Complan shakes to keep me going. I found the stawberry one was ok and I could manage it better if I sipped it very slowly through a straw. I know it is hard, but you must eat for the sake of your 2 little ones. I have 2 kids as well, a bit older than yours at 12 and 9 when I was dx. Maybe you have the odd moment where hunger sort of breaks through the anxiety/sick feeling ? I know I did. Seize on those moments to stuff your face !! Also try making some smoothies from fresh fruit and milk etc; your kids will probably love these as well!
If you lose too much weight I think they can delay your surgery as you won’t be strong enough to make a good recovery from it. So please, please try to eat !!!
I had to go on holiday the week after dx (it was all booked and paid for). I would not have got through this without Diazepam and sleeping tablets (Zopiclone). You must go back to your GP, or see a different one at the practice, and ask for something like this to help you. As a single mum, you need the strength from eating/sleeping to look after your kids. When on these tablets, I found my appetite came back and I was able to keep my strength up for the surgery.
When I went in for surgery, my ex had the kids for a week to give me time to recover. He took them away on holiday so they had their minds taken off it all.
You won’t believe me Corinne, but it really does get easier. As time goes by and you don’t actually die, you kind of get used to the shock, so that it is no longer a shock…does that make any sense??
I am now almost a year on. I have gone back to work, moved house and hardly ever think about Breast Cancer. You will be the same in a year and will most probably be on here helping others newly dx.
Sending you a big hug ((((()))))
Anna xxxxx
Let us know how you get on . PLease PM me if it helps at all.