Hi everyone, I’m brand new to this breast cancer forum. I’m 72 years old, just lost my husband in June to lung CA and now I have this! I’m wondering if anyone has thoughts on whether or not I should agree to radiation? I had a 2 mm calcification, the surgeon took a 4 mm margin (which was clear) so I’m not sure if I can emotionally or physically survive radiation right now. My nerves are frayed from dealing with my husband’s illness for a year and all the mess that comes with trying to get things straight after your spouse passes.
I would love to hear anyone who has thoughts on this treatment. Thanks
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Hello, I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your husband and your recent diagnosis. I read some very wise words the other day, they said ‘whatever decision you make now, just be certain that you can live with any consequences with no regrets’ or something to that effect. When we are at our lowest point, we really want the least treatment, so that it can all be over and we can get on with our life. With DCIS there is a chance it will return and it can return as invasive cancer, from what I have read ( I was originally diagnosed with high grade DCIS, which I had removed, but they found IDC and then that it had spread to one lymph node - but I had read quite a bit on DCIS at that point). So your answer would be dependant on how you think you would feel if you do not have radiation treatment and then it did return. There is a chance ( probably much lower) that it may return anyway, but if you didn’t have the extra treatment now, would you start to worry 6 months down the line, when you may be in a slightly better head space? If you really don’t feel you could cope with the treatment at this moment, I wonder if they would allow you to reconsider in a few months? Perhaps you could ask if you thought that may be better for you. I really feel for you and I hope you make the best decision for you.
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Hi there, I’m so sorry about your husband. I can’t imagine how hard that is and I can’t imagine home you are feeling. I do know however the feeling that you can’t cope with anymore. I’ve recently had a mastectomy with reconstruction and have found that I now need further treatment. My want is to curl up in a ball and just for this bloody disease to go away. I feel like the fight has gone out of me. But like the other lady said, will me two years from now regret me doing that. Will I beat myself up for not giving myself the best chance. Yes are m answers. I know in top of all of this you are grieving too so the mountain must be even taller but all I can say is I don’t know you, but I want you to be on this earth as long as you possibly can. I want you to sit in the garden next summer smelling the flowers and watching the butterflies remembering the good times with your husband. I want you to find the strength to make the right decision for future you.
I called the helpline yesterday and that gave me some good advice and someone to talk to. I would think about calling them and talking through. They were amazing and I feel more like I can do this today.
Keep talking to us all and keep being honest with how you are feeling.
Lots of love and a massive hug xxx
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Hi @babcimo I was diagnosed with high grade DCIS a week ago & currently waiting for results of further biopsies on another area so I can’t offer any advice on making a decision regarding radiotherapy. However I just wanted to say hello & I’m so sorry about your diagnosis & the loss of your husband so recently. You’ve come to the right place for help & support. In the few days I’ve been on here, I’ve been really touched by all the wonderful comments & support the amazing ladies on here give. Very best wishes to you xx
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Hi @babcimo I can completely empathise as I cared for my husband who developed MND, a fast-moving and awful disease which was shocking (he had 10 months between diagnosis and passing) and, shortly afterwards, my beloved mother’s dementia worsened so I became her carer for two and a half years before she died. Thankfully my breast cancer diagnosis was fifteen months afterwards when I was 66 and, truthfully, I trudged through it less bothered than I would have been had I not been grieving so much (still am, slightly less so). I had a small IDC with surrounding low grade DCIS, had surgery and 5 days of radiotherapy followed by Letrozole for 5 years.
The actual radiotherapy sessions themselves are very short (10-15 minutes) but the planning session in which they measure you up and give you little black spots as tattoos was longer. The planning session was the one time that I found it overwhelming and was so giddy with stress that the radiographer had to help me put my bra back on and get dressed. I am glad I did it though as I had very little in the way of side effects other than fatigue about three months afterwards and it is another weapon against recurrence.
Was your DCIS er+? That would mean taking an aromatase inhibitor for a number of years afterwards. It may be an option for Stage 0 to take the drugs rather than have the radiotherapy, discuss it with your oncologist. Some people, however, get difficult side effects from those and it is easier to give them up if you’ve previously had radiotherapy to mop things up. Of course, you may not get any side effects from either. Check on how many days radiotherapy you’d be given, 5 is the minimum. Maybe you could ask to visit a radiotherapy room at your hospital so that you can be taken through the process, which may help you make up your mind.
I am so desperately sorry for the loss of your husband, I know you’re in the early stages of grief and bewilderment and this diagnosis is a cruel blow at the worst time. Literally no-one knows if they will get a recurrence, not the medics, not the prediction tools and certainly not us, it’s all a gamble and what you decide to do may depend on how risk averse you are. What would the woman from 5 years ago think? Do let us know what you decide.
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Hi @jolm so sorry for your diagnosis. I had a DCIS diagnosis early June. Take one day at a time and reach out whenever you are feeling low or want to ask any questions xxxx
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Hi, so sorry for your loss, its completely understandable how you feel. I’m guessing that you mean medium grade DCIS as the grade system is different and only IDC’s are given numbers 1-3 as a grade, whereas DCIS is either low medium or high grade.
Its fair to weigh up your options given your age and what you have been through. I think you could go to your next planning appointment with the oncologist first and see how much radiotherapy they plan. Your margins sound good, so you may well only need 5 sessions, so it would all be over in a week. Sometimes partial treatment to the wound bed area can be offered, which can cut down radiation exposure further.
Side-effects tend to increase with more radiation exposure and I had a lot as poor margins in a couple of directions, but its unlikely this will be needed in your case. Discuss the plan, ask about benefit vs risk in your particular case, then you can work out what is reasonable for you in your situation. There’s usually a few weeks gap between surgery and treatment, so you have time to think and can cancel it if you decide its not for you.
Hi babcimo,
Sorry to find you here and for the loss of your husband. A very difficult time for you. If you need any advice the nurses on here are brilliant and very reassuring. You can email them or speak on the phone. You can also talk to your BC nurse that will have been allocated to you.
When this happens we’re looked after by a multidisciplinary team, trust them and follow their advice on a treatment plan. Everyone is different and if they are advising radiation, it’s in your best interests to run with it.
It’s very good news that everything has been found early and DCIS is very treatable.
Best of luck with everything. You probably can’t see the wood for the trees now, but you will get through this difficult time. You’ll be on the other side of it soon. Stay strong, you’ve got this.
Frances
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Thank you for your insight. This is all just overwhelming. I’m hoping after I’ve met with all 3 specialists involved that I will make a decison that is right for me. Until I talk to them I’m really just making a best guess based on what I’ve read. I hope your situation is getting better or rectified. Prayers for all of us.
Thank you… You’re reply brought a smile to my face. 
Entropy, thank you for your encouragine words. I really don’t know much until I talk to my specialists. And yes, you are right. Mine is a medium grade DCIS.
I am hoping they are thinking about a small amount of radiation as in short amount of time. I will certainly be back on here telling everyone and asking for thoughts. I hope your situation has been resolved and you are on the road to healing. Again, thank you.
Thank you. And best of luck to you. It’s so very kind of you to reach out when you’re going through this too.
Thank you so much @motherducky & sorry about your diagnosis too. I’m getting quite anxious about the latest biopsies now. Can I ask what your treatment plan is & where you’re at with it? How are you doing? Thanks again, really appreciate it xx
I am so pleased that you will wait and decide after speaking with your specialists, I suspect it will be less overwhelming as you gain more information - that is certainly how I felt. I have had two surgeries and I start on chemotherapy on Monday ( followed by radiotherapy at some point ). So I am in the process of treating mine. Wishing you all the very best, I hope you get to speak to your team soon.
So I had my mammogram back in May. I’m 42 but my sister had BC in her 30s so I get screening. I got called back a week later and they suspected an area of 80mm of DCIS.
I had to go for an ultrasound and then biopsy and then had a confirmed diagnosis of high grade DCIs in my right breast.
I was told because of the placement I could have either lumpectomy with radiotherapy or mastectomy with either an implant or they could use my tummy fat for reconstruction.
Pros and cons to both. Due to the size the lumpectomy would be roughly the size of a tennis ball and would significantly reduce my breast size but an easier surgery to recover from.
Mastectomy with diep flap would mean a 6-8 hour surgery with a longer recovery due to the multiple surgery sites. No radio therapy.
I had my surgery two weeks ago and went for the mastectomy. It has been tough but I’m starting to feel more able. I got my results on Thursday and there were to spots of invasive oestrogen positive cancer so I’ll now need to be on tamoxifen for 5 years and had my pre op today for my lymph node biopsy next week. I’ll have to wait for the results of those to understand if I will need node clearance and or chemo. I got the results Thursday and I just wanted to quit. I feel broken physically and mentally yet still have to keep going through this.
Aside from my next treatments depending on the outcomes of the biopsy I will have symmetry surgery next year for my other boob.
It feels like it never ends doesn’t it.
You have to do whatever is right for you and we are here to support each other xxx
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Oh I’m so sorry you’re going through this. The mental and physical toll is just so much, it’s not surprising you feel broken.
I’m 54, had several surgeries for severe pelvic organ prolapses, 4 of which have been in the last 5 years & I was due to have more surgery later this year. I’d really had enough of surgery, I have a phobia of anaesthetics following a horrible experience years ago, so was dreading the next one & certainly hadn’t banked on breast cancer surgery thrown into the mix!
The way my diagnosis was sold was that it was very small & very early so hopefully a lumpectomy & probably won’t need radiotherapy but obviously we need to see what comes back from the biopsies. It was made to sound like a bit of a walk in the park. Couple of weeks off work then back to getting on with my life. I know our minds go there anyway but I can’t help but think it all sounded too simple & straightforward. I’m sure the other area is going to be an issue, I just hope I’m wrong.
I hope the next stage for you goes as well as it can & hope you continue to get stronger each day. Sending lots of love xx
WOW… you are a wealth of knowledge and support. 
I feel for your loss and sense of overwhelming responsibility of caring for the sick and dying. Sounds like you rolled from one into another with an added dose of breast cancer. And you made it through. I’ve just finished looking up some things you mentioned (since I’m new and undeducated at this point in my journey). Letrozole sounds like what I think I need based on my over-active ‘fright or flight’ response given my care giver role this past year for my husbands cancer. But I’m betting my oncology doctor will think I need tamoxifen since I’m HR+ and my cells are fast growing. Again, I’m uneducated at this point but tamoxifn sounds like a bandaid fix where letrozole seems like it would be working towards my root cause of this CA. I am actually taking notes with me to my appointments from research I’ve done and, I will also be taking notes from what they say. I’m looking forward to having discussions with all 3 of my oncology doctors.
I cannot thank you enough for being so supportive and knowledgeable. I’m sure we will be talking again!
By the way, to answer your question of what would the woman from 5 years ago do? … She would do the radiation and take the hormone because she had so much to live for. My youngest son quite literally 5 year ago on the 20th of August came home from a 346 day deployment. And I wanted nothing more than to be there for him and his re-entry into the civilized world through all his PTSD and family things. That woman had different goals. This woman now has a goal of living maybe another 15-20 years by enjoying time with my two boys and their families.
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You sound so upbeat and positive. That;s a great place to be. I am wishing you nothing but positive outcomes and minimal side effects.
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So sorry to hear your story but pleased to see that you are still managing to pick yourself back up each time and carry on. It’s hard when you are initially diagnosed with only DCIS, which then turns out to be invasive cancer as well ( same as me ), but of course the treatments today can cope with the extras and the outcomes look so very promising. I wish you all the luck and strength for your SLNB , mine wasn’t too bad, just a small seroma and a bit of cording, which went away with exercises, so very doable. x
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The choice of tamoxifen or letrozole is often (but not exclusively) down to whether pre or post menopause. Letrozole if post. AI’s do have a slightly better rate of effeciveness theough sometimes postmenopausal women take them as they have different side effects.
I remember the bcn having both leaflets about it to give me as she didnt know if I was pre or postmenopausal. I was 52 at the time but still premenopausal, so got given tamoxifen.