Debsincornwall, my darling wife

I am Deb’s husband Ian. I just wanted to post a short message to mark the passing of my darling wife. I hope it is not against the rules for a partner of the recently deceased to post here.

I am not a great one for words, unlike Debs who could express herself with a turn of phrase that could be wise, succinct and hilarious all at the same time. She was a lousy speller though.

In all aspects of our life together for the past 13 years, Debs has always looked after and cared for me and her kids. In the battle against this cruel disease she made it so much easier for me by ALWAYS being strong, whether she was laughing, crying or pi**ed-off. We were a partnership in everything but she carried the greater load.

When she was in campaigning mode, she always did it with a view to helping the little old lady, as she put it, who would never dare question or kick up a fuss.

The only time I have ever felt I needed outside help was in the past four days when the brain mets seemed to have come back with an incredible and devastating vengeance and robbed her most of her ability to talk and otherwise communicate except through those beautiful, blue twinkling eyes.

Debs was initially given about a year to live and when we married we never dared dream we would celebrate our fifth anniversary. For this, my eternal gratitude goes to the medical teams at the Treliske hospital and in St Ives - our GP practice, the district nurses and all other support teams.

Debs had her two daughters and her son-in-law by her side. The disease was advancing so rapidly They travelled the hundreds of miles to be with her and arrived with just hours to spare. I must thank the Macmillan nurse for being so honest and, well, blunt when she told me we had maybe a couple of days rather than up to a couple of weeks left with each other. She remained conscious just long enough to know they were there and to whisper a couple of words of comfort and love to each of them. She then slipped into a state of unconsciousness until almost the very end.

Five minutes before she passed away, in a final massive effort she opened her eyes so we could each gaze into those gorgeous baby-blues and say goodbye and profess our eternal love. So typical of the woman’s determination and courage.

Debs died at 2.47am Thursday 17th December in her own home.

I will love you forever Debs. Thank you for the absolute honour of being your husband and friend.

that was a wonderful thing to write about Debs. Her posts made it clear that she knew you could always be counted on and it gave her great comfort to have you by her side throughout. You and the family were how she managed to beat the odds for so long. I wish we could offer you more support through this saddest of times
Lily x

so sad but that’s a lovely tribute to her and shows how much you love each other. Im so sorry for you and your family but also so glad you got the extended time with her, i just wish with all my heart you had longer.


Ian and family, I am so sad to hear of your sad loss. I read many of Debs posts and feel as tho I knew her. It was not a thread I wanted to read but I am happy to know that Debs knew that her loved ones were with her when she left. All the pain is now behind her and I know she will always be with you. Her spirit and memory will give you the strength to carry on.

RIP Debs - so brave and never forgotten.

To Ian and family, how lovely for you to share the last precious moments with us. Debs had an enormous heart and her knowledge, kindness and humour will stay on these threads as we all saw her concern and love of life and others.

I wish you all peace and calm moments to remember the great times of sharing and love.

God bless.


Wishing much comfort to you and the girls, you had a great lady there - who will remain with all of you in your hearts forever. xxJacqxx.

Ian, God bless you, we heard so much about you.

Julie xxx

Thank you so much Ian - that means a lot to me.
As ever,
M x

Ian, for a man of not many words, you done your darling Debs very proud, I am sitting here with tears in my eyes.

My thoughts are with you, the girls and your son in law


Carol xxx

Sending love and condolences to Debs’ husband and all her loved ones. Although so hard to read even though expected, this was a beautiful heartfelt message and I can only wish for love and strength for you all.

I didn’t know Debs very well but read her posts often and we ‘spoke’ a few times when we were both taking part in a BC advertising campaign with(which we all won!) at the end of September. Many of us saw Debs on TV being interviewed about this and I admired her strength and determination and if I can remain half as strong as she was, I’ll be a very happy lady.

Thank you Debs, remembering you with affection.

Lots of love to everyone. Cathy xx

Dear Ian and girls, so glad you were all there with Debs, love and prayers to you all at this very sad time. Ian your post about debs is lovely, I’m sure you all have happy memories of your lovely brave wife.
love Debs xx

Thank you, Ian, for those eloquent words.

Sending you and Debs’ daughters love and prayers. I hope that the knowledge of just how much she meant to so many of us on here will be some comfort to you all.

Eliza xx

Ian, you expressed yourself beautifully, your love for Debs is there in every word of your post.
Wishing you and your family love and comfort in each other. Don’t know what else to say, she was obviously a very special lady.

RIP Debs

Ian - your post was beautiful and so from the heart…

Love to you and all of Deb’s family and friends in the weeks and months ahead.

Theresa x

Sincere condolences to Ian and and all of Debs family from everyone at Breast Cancer Care.

Debs posts were of great support and comfort to forum users, I am sure she will be greatly missed by many.

Very best wishes.


My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
What beautiful words you wrote about Debs.



please let me add my sympathies too -am so sorry.chipper xx

So sad to read this news. Debs was obviously a very special lady. x

Thank you Ian for taking the time to post such a beautiful post about Debs. I never knew Debs but read many of her posts and have a huge admiration for her, her support for others, compassion, humour and fighting spirit shone through in her words.

My thoughts are with you and your family at this sad time and hope that you find some comfort in knowing what an inspiration she was to so many.

Ian, what a wonderful tribute to Debs - your love and devotion shine through and I am sure she is up there looking down on you and all the family with a great deal of pride.

I only ever read Debs’ posts and saw her on tv recently but her strength and determination were obvious to all and I know she gave so much hope and help to everyone on this site for which we are all eternally grateful.

Wishing you and the family peace and strength. Thanks to Debs for all her inspiration.