Diagnosed at 29 - is there hope for me?

Going through breast cancer treatment Chemotherapy
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Hi everyone,

I’ve just been diagnosed with triple positive BC at 29 (no lymph nodes affected, 21mm lump, all other biopsies, scans including PET-CT etc), and just about to start treatment this week, but I have lost all hope and motivation to fight my way through this. Doctors just keep saying the classic ‘you’ll be fine’ and I just don’t believe it at this stage.

I’ve lost all my love for life (including my love for my previous passions, including my dog who has been my best friend for the last 5 years, now I just feel dissociated from her as well!)

I guess I’m just looking for some success stories from people who went through a similar diagnosis at a young age and have managed to build a good life after this, as all I am seeing ahead of me if I am ‘lucky’ is a life on treatment and daily fear of recurrence (and I question with all side effects if it will be worth living this sort of life). I feel like it’s too late to have a good life now.

Any personal stories would help to give me some motivation to show up for the next steps with a bit of hope :slight_smile:

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Hi sorry you find yourself here.

My diagnosis was different to yours as I was HER2 negative. Survivors of your scenario will no doubt comment soon.

Spiralling like this is totally normal in the space before treatment.

The short answer to your question is yes there’s plenty of hope. Have a look at the Predict tool here https://breast.v3.predict.cam/ and you’ll see some very hopeful stats at the end of it and that was with me guesstimating details you haven’t shared.

Do you have your whole treatment plan yet or just first steps?

Sending hugs and strength. You will get through this x

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Hey, thank you for replying so quickly. I just keep spiralling on a daily basis and have told doctors I might not show up for treatment so need to convince myself somehow. I will do 6 rounds of TCHP, surgery than radiation and 5 years tamoxifen, which sounds veryyy long!

The predict tool said 93% would survive 15 years…sounds hopeful till I tell myself 7% is high and I never imagined living just another 15 years. I will try to remind myself this stat when I am not spiralling, I’m sure I will feel more at ease so thank you for sharing this as I keep seeing 30% recurrence for BC.

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I’ve not had chemotherapy but there’s a great network here to help you through. Join the July starters thread so you can lean on each other. Also look for helpful tips.

I’ve had a lumpectomy which was uncomfortable but doable as you feel progressively better as you recover.

I had 5 days of radiotherapy which was a trying as had to go to hospital but painless. Lots of moisturiser and hydrating regularly was key and had very little reaction.

The 15 years isn’t the end point just the amount of time they have stats for.

If I told you you had a 93% chance of winning the lottery you’d be happy with that number. Try to focus on that x

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I was also diagnosed at 29. Am 76 now and doing great, despite a recurrence in 2017.

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Wow that is amazing! Do you remember initial diagnosis stage? Did you make any changes post diagnosis you think helped? and how did you deal with recurrence fears?

This is just the news we need to see more of, I really hope you’ve lived a full happy life, sure seems like it :smiling_face:

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Oh my, I feel for you. The early days of diagnosis are really scary. I was a bit older than you 36, triple postive with a few cells in my sentinel node. I had surgery chemo radiotherapy and herceptin. Tamoxifen gave me no problems at all. I worked throughout my treatment, and was mostly well. I am now 20 years on and I am super active running, skiing, cycling etc..I am just planning my first half ironman. Hang in there, you will find your new normal soon.

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I was at Stage 2, three nodes involved. I had a full mastectomy (I don’t think lumpectomy was common then) plus chemotherapy and several rounds of radiation. My employers kept me on full pay and I was off work for three months, although I felt quite well. It was just that treatment took a lot of my time. I have a supportive husband, live in a city with excellent cancer care facilities and health care is paid by my beloved country, Canada. I guess I just hoped for the best and didn’t dwell on things. Am and was very active, cycled through a lot of the UK one summer, wrote several books, etc. I guess at a certain point I was pretty sure it wasn’t coming back, so that was a huge shock. The recurrence was and remains only in my bones, here is hoping, with progression at what my oncologist calls a “glacial rate.” I did have some breast lumps removed last year. I think what has helped me is that I do not look at statistics much, I have many other passions, including my pets, and I don’t focus on this. It helps too that I have and remain on targeted therapy, and side effects have been minimal and dealt with. I have had the same excellent oncologist since 2017 and he is very positive. I do not look at test results before seeing him. If I do, I find I worry about things I don’t need to. Hope this helps.

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Wow 20 years, thank you for sharing. So good to see you can still have an active lifestyle as I love the gym running hikes and traveling and so far I’ve seen a lot of people say that the meds will cause a lot of joint issues etc so good to know a good outcome is indeed possible.

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I did have some joint issues recently when my meds changed to include everolimus. My oncologist reduced the dose, which is not believed to reduce effficacy, and also eliminated another nasty side effect I was having. Another thing that has helped is viewing Manitoba Health Care’s online Zooms on various issues.

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Actually it is 47 years since my first diagnosis.

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Sorry I realize you were responding to another participant.

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@chan1 I’m so sorry you find youself here I can’t even imagine how you must feel. At 29 I would not have expected anything like this to happen. It felt bad enough for me being diagnosed at 39 (though I definitely feel more 29 not the 40 year old I am now haha)

Firstly I am so glad you found this forum. Please use it daily, it really helps. There are lots of topics with lots of really great information here. All from people who are going through treatment or are thriving after treatment, we are all in this together. And I am certain people your age will reach out to you.

It might not feel it yet but you have gone through the hardest part so its no wonder you are feeling as you do. All those tests and waiting for results is the worst. How you feel now is very normal but it isnt how you will feel forever. You have been through a huge shock and you will need time to get your head around that.

Treatment is hard but it is exactly that, it is treatment. So dont write yourself off just yet. Don’t let cancer take anymore than it needs. This is just 1 chapter in your life thats all. My mum had breast cancer aged 50, she did amazing getting through her treatment but it was a struggle for her. Then I went through it (its been 2 weeks since my last chemo and I’m still here and I feel perfectly fine) I managed treatment well and my mum thinks I did better than her and she is certain its because I am younger. So you have age on your side. As terrible as that is, it will work in your favour. You will get through all this but you have to turn up for treatment. You have to show up for yourself.

There is life during cancer treatment and there definitely is life after cancer treatment :heart: Sending you the biggest hugs :heart:

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A couple more comments, on further reflection. Sometime after my diagnosis, we adopted a dog. Since then we have had three others (current one is 7] and they have brought great joy to my life, and perhaps healing. I do walk at least 10,000 steps a day, and the time I spend with my dog each day is deeply treasured. I do hope you connect again with your pet. Also, I think the first two weeks or so of diagnosis are the worst. It is hard to believe this is happening. After a while, you do adjust,

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Hi Chan!

I was diagnosed with Stage 1, grade 3, multifocal TNBC in 2016. Massive shock to say the least. I felt just like you, felt my life was over, wouldn’t see my children/grandchildren grow up, or any special occasions, i even planned my own funeral…i do feel waiting for treatment to start is hard, all the negative thoughts come flooding in, which is a normal reaction, but once it gets started you feel a lot more positive.

I had surgery first, followed by chemo, radiotherapy and then biophosphates. As they say chemo was ‘doable’, not easy, but there’s lots of meds for any side effects you encounter, and a triage line for you to call anytime.

If I’m honest the hardest part I found was after my treatment had finished, the worry of reoccurrence., every slight niggle i had during the first year i was straight to the doctors, ive had numerous cts, xrays, ultrasounds and even a brain MRI due to worrying about things and everything has always been fine, then slowly as time goes by you get more confident.

My GP told me that if I have any symptoms that last longer than 2 weeks then I should come to see them and this is what I still go by!

I am now 10 years on and have no long-term side effects, I’m happy, fit and really well, carrying on with my life as I would of before cancer, which i am really grateful and thankful for. You will too, you are young and fit, with your whole life ahead of you. I know it’s hard now, but you will get through this.

There is always hope

Julie :heart: xxx

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@chan1 You’ve received so much positive feedback here already and I’m still going through treatment, but I just wanted to say that there is so much hope for you! You will be massively supported all the way by so many people and coming here was a great step to rally up support outside of your medical team. I wish you all the very best with everything.

@Angelface45 As a brief aside to the original thread, I’m currently undergoing chemotherapy for stage 2, grade 3 TNBC and found your post here to be very relatable and uplifting and really appreciated reading it this morning. A big thank you for sharing.

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You are welcome :blush: I hope your treatment is going well..if you need any support or questions i maybe able to help with, please feel free to ask :heart:

Julie xxx

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Oh my goodness, tough love time. Why on earth would you ‘not show up for treatment?’ Surely you want this to end well? You need to get on top of this lethargy, put your big girl pants on and get down to business. You have a wonderful life ahead of you to lead, you have just encountered a blip in the road.

Yeah, its a big blip, but no more than thousands upon thousands of women face every day and the overwhelmingly vast majority of them are still here to tell the tale. We are the lucky generation who mostly survive even the most hideous forms of this nasty disease called cancer. I can give you several survivor stories including one of a friend of 45 with exactly the same as you have been diagnosed with who, three years on, has just got remarried, had a third baby and regularly runs marathons BUT you know all this. You only have to look at the statistics online to see how good your chances are of coming through this ordeal with a good outcome. But if you continue down this negative path you will talk yourself into failure.

Cancer treatment is not fun. We all emerge from it battered and bruised and with residual fear for the future BUT we are alive and we grab life with both hands and live it to the full. You will get loads of sympathy on here but you really need to get a grip. Your medical team will need you to work in partnership with them to devise a positive outcome and you will need grit and resilience to keep going. Once you are in treatment you get in to the rhythm and just put one foot infront of the other until you emerge smiling in to the sunlight with a new zest for life. Your family and friends will be there to support you but will want to feel you are positive about the future and giving treatment all you’ve got.

Oh, and above all else, the dog needs you. He doesn’t deserve this!

Good luck, you can do it.

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Tough love works sometimes, this made me smile!

My reason for not wanting to do treatment is recurrence. I know I have a chance for this to be okay as they said its still ‘early stage’ although they refuse to tell me what my exact stage is at this point. But I am just scared I will have gone through this for nothing if it comes back stronger and kills me anyway.

But it seems there are a lot of long term survivors, I just need to focus on those stories at this point. Maybe there is hope and a reason for me to go through with treatment after all :smiling_face:

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Hello @chan1

There is ALWAYS hope.
Also there’s sheer determination

Your Mission: get rid of cancer and build a body so it doesn’t come back

How to do it: research

Here’s a starting point:

And read this too then create your strategy bit by bit to suit you

https://www.chrisbeatcancer.com/grandfather-78-beats-incurable-colon-cancer-by-changing-diet/

You deserve to live and live well. There’s a whole world out there for you to enjoy.

I had TNBC 5 years ago at 51. Full response to chemo. New boobs and living life better than before. Came up with loads of strategies. Check out my profile you’ll see my posts. Anything you want to chat about feel free to message me

Hope today is better for you than yesterday :two_hearts:

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