Diagnosed at 29 - is there hope for me?

Going through breast cancer treatment Chemotherapy
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There are groups on facebook. When I got diagnosed, I posted anonymously and basically asked what was I suppose to do after hearing those words, it’s cancer.

Honestly, I am not going to lie. Cancer coming back is my biggest worry and something I think about all the time. I also have the BRCA1 gene, so I am at higher risk for ovarian cancer too.

I have trauma through health therapy every 2/3 weeks. I am finding this massively helpful. Also I used the ‘Someone Like Me’ support through Breast Cancer now. They basically match you with someone who had the same cancer, treatment etc and they ring you and you just have a crack. Honestly that was really helpful too. I don’t think I’ll ever not worry about cancer coming back - maybe until I get my ovaries out. I have been told it does get better in time and you think about it less and less. So hopefully that’s true. X

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Okay, this is difficult, I cant take that away from you. Its also difficult for all the women on this site. We are all afraid, all unsure, all concerned and all have our own individual worries. Thing is It isn’t useful to worry and I know its hard to switch that off. So have a suggestion for you.
Have a day off this worry and all the unknows for a day. You are going into "don’t know mind. " Don’t know mind is great. We don’t know everything and cant control everything, Chan. We know this but we still would like to control it all. We have choices how we want to react. Essentially that’s the only choice we have. The more worry and “all going to hell in a basket,” the more we sort to send ourselves there. The more calm we can give ourselves, its just that little bit easier. Not loads but the shift is into easier rather than harder.

So for a day, let it go. Believe me I know how hard this is but its your challenge for tomorrow. Write down how you want this day to be and create it the night before. Get your films ready. Forget about diet and doing the right thing for this day. Right now you are going for grounding yourself with small joys. Sometimes reading great books with a heroin who is having a really bad time helps, as when you get into the story, you identify with her and see how she is dealing with difficult things and somehow that helps, as it gives us the option to be like her and have a warrior spirit. Or chose someone in society that you really admire. May be an Olympian, or actor, anything that you can identify with. Esp if they have to do difficult things. You can sort of borrow from them their, “I CAN DO THIS” spirit and run with that. Films, books. Loads of books out there now with super human type women. Us women need this, as overall its been a mans world. so good to have these archetype. I have done a lot of this and borrowed from others and in particular an athlete, as she was calm and determined and she won through. I just imagined I had the perfect working body like the athlete and that it was working amazingly. I did loads of things like this. I still draw on this in difficult times and going through one now. Write down something you are proud of and if cant find any, believe that you have one right now, as you are going through this. You will have ups and downs. That is totally normal and human. Try to live with the good stuff, as that rises you up and transports your doubting mind in the back seat of your car. It will grumble and try to give you trouble. It does for everyone but just be nice to it and say. thanks for telling me this or that but I am choosing to think that I am going to be fine. Next find yourself someone outside of medical people. Someone who can support you. It might be a therapist but they need to be empathetic. Today you are still dealing with the shock and that’s natural. tonight you make your plan for the next day and live it fully. Have a go at some of these things mentioned, if they feel good to you. Thinking of you, Chan, and seeing in the light that is truly yours. XS

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Do you have a friend or rellie who will go with you for treatment, so that you have the moral support and motivation to go? It can be hard to motivate yourself when you are terrified!

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I want to hug you ( but I didn’t want anyone hugging me!) :rofl:

A year on, I’m fine. The mastectomy area is quite numb but a lot of sensation has returned above and below the scar. I get tired in the evenings but I was never a party girl!

I don’t focus on possible recurrence because we can’t predict anything. I could have a fatal car accident. I’ve had two severe infections, not cancer related, but I was fortunate to be treated promptly, either one of the infections could have finished me off.

Now that I have a bit more energy, I’m doing some things that I have wanted to do but put off before… going to the theatre, ballet, and pick up art. They are not huge things but it’s small pleasures.

I have a strong sense of humour and I like to make someone laugh every day, it gives me pleasure.

Take each stage as it comes. Focus on the days in bite size pieces, even 15 minutes at a time

Sending that hug!

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When I was diagnosed two years ago I thought cancer would be on my mind every single day forever but it isn’t. The way to combat the fear of recurrence is, in my opinion, to do everything you can to reduce the risk. Sure, there are no guarantees for any of us, but if you put your efforts into what is in your control then naturally you become more confident in your body and health. Follow your treatment plan, maintain a healthy weight, avoid alcohol, eat well and exercise. Put your focus into the things you can do something about, not those you can’t. x

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How sweet this all is, thank you for the suggestions. I will try to find some books like that, I have managed to find some podcasts of women I admire to listen to their stories and how they overcame them, it really is helpful.

I have also started treatment so at least its a step in the right direction. I just hope that there might be a day in my future where this is not the only thing I am able to think about.

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Yes I’m trying, but its all things I did before diagnosis, and it didnt save me, but will keep doing it anyway as it makes me feel better anyway. And it’s good to know you managed to have a life outside of this, its a big worry of mine that things will always be like this and I will only ever think of this diagnosis for the rest of my life, and that is no way to live!

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@chan1 Oh my, you have really been through it haven’t you. A lot of what we go through is the mental health side of things. We all talk about what we have been through treatment wise and going forward but a lot of us are also battling the ‘what ifs’ but don’t really talk about it.

A little bit about what I have been through, I had a 34mm Lobular tumour in 2018, I had a lumpectomy, followed by another operation to get clear margins. This was followed by 23 sessions of radiotherapy, Tamoxifen for 5 years and finally 3 operations to reconstruct my breast. I was strong and coped well with everything, the Tamoxifen gave me hot flushes and I began the menopause, I was 48. I then spent 2 years getting on with my life which was no different to the life I had before diagnosis.

Fast forward to Dec 2025, I was diagnosed with a recurrence of Lobular breast cancer, I was gutted this time and had to have a mastectomy in February 2026. I am on Letrozole now for 10 years.

It took me a couple of weeks to get my head around it and as it’s fresh I worry about spreading and another recurrence but that’s all it is, a worry, because I know the chances of me getting it again is very unlikely. I have decided to put it behind me, not easy and there’s days I sit and look at a new symptom I have and get it checked out but it is just an odd day, the rest of the time I am getting on with my life like normal, I even went to a punk gig last night and walked 11 miles.

It is very natural to worry about the what ifs, especially after going through so much emotionally and physically but you don’t know what your future holds, no one does, we don’t stop crossing roads because we might get knocked down do we, so why stop treatment because there’s a very small chance you get a recurrence, besides, as I have just shown, even with a recurrence it doesn’t mean your time Is up, In fact it just makes you more determined to enjoy every day and it has actually improved my life because of this.

I really hope you find the strength to get through this and can see a good positive future for yourself. Please don’t be hard on yourself but please remember you have a very bright future ahead of you and your lovely dog will help be your strength. Sending big hugs and love x

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Thank you for sharing your experience, including the recurrence, good to see you’re on the othere side once again! How do you manage to feel safe in your body most of the time, I just keep worrying every time I feel a new lymph node or maybe a slight ache and it is no way to live like this and I’m finding this really hard.

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Sorry you are struggling @chan1 I fully understand the constant worry about aches and pains. Looking for a new lump or symptom. You are right it is no way to live. All I can say is ive had 2 lumpectomys, 8 rounds of chemo and since attacking the cancer with everything they are telling me to I do feel better. Action against what you are going through might help you feel better so please dont think how you feel now is forever. Its just for now. This will all pass :heart:

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Hi @chan1 , how are you feeling today?

As for how do I feel in my body, if I’m honest I’d love to exchange it for another but that isn’t possible unfortunately. I too find lumps and bumps and worry about them, I keep an eye on them and if I get more concerned I get them checked out.

Mentally I have always been strong but I have my days when I’m not, so I try and keep myself busy, go and do some exercises, have a bath, have a good cry and get it out of my system. It’s horrible we have to go through this but remember, you are not alone :pink_heart:.

It all gets easier as time goes on but if you are still struggling speak to your doctor or ring McMillan nurses who are so good to talk to.

Look after yourself and remember we are all here for you :pink_heart::pink_heart: