Hi, just been diagnosed with breast cancer - even feels weird typing the words - and to be honest I can’t quite believe it, I’ve never had a day’s sick in my life and it all seems completely unreal. Seeing the surgeon on Monday to discuss options, looks like I’ll be needing a mastectomy. Feel like I’ve just dropped into an alien world when all I really want is my life back! Any tips for someone like me starting out?
Lou
Hi Lou - so sorry, you’ve had this news, but you will get lots of support from the ladies on this forum. I think the only advice I can give is to take each day as it comes, be gentle on yourself, talk to people you are comfortable with and if you have any questions, some-one here will have a good answer.
Good luck with it all
Clare
Oh BTW I was diagnosed Feb 2009, had chemo then mx, then rads. Am now back at work since Christmas on phased return.
I so remember the feeling of shock and utter helplessness !!! I too was hardly ever sick, its not in the family and only being 33 it came completely out of the blue and turned my world upside down.
Words of advice? Where do I start? Use this forum. Friends and family, as supportive as they are can never understand like the women on this site and also theres so much knowledge on here…and lots of really useful advice!
Be prepared for an emotional rollercoaster…youll have good days and low days. Enjoy the good ones and just get through the bad ones!
And like the other lady said…dont think too far ahead. Just take each step at a time and youll be surprised how quickly it goes before you come out the other end. I was diagnosed in June 09…Im ten months down the line and have had a lumpectomy…chemo…a masectomy and then radiotherapy! Ive come out the other side…Im back at work, enjoying being a mum and even have hair again!
Its been a tough 10 months but you can do it !
Love and best wishes Sal xxx
Hi Lou
Firstly, welcome to the forums, I am sure you will find it a great source of information and support.
I’m sorry to read of your diagnosis, the first few days and weeks are always difficult when coming to terms with things and getting to grips with your treatment plans, etc.
I’ve given here the link to our Resource Pack for those people newly diagnosed. The pack is essential for anyone with a primary diagnosis of breast cancer. Filled with information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available.
Also, do give the helpline a ring if you need any further support or information. They’re on 0808 800 6000. Open 9-5 Monday to Friday and 9-2 Saturday.
Very best wishes.
Louise
Facilitator
Thanks for the positive advice Clare, Sal and Louise, I appreciate it!
Lou
Sorry to see you here Lou.
Advice, much as above… take one day at a time and one procedure at a time. I was diagnosed in February and am still half expecting someone to tell me it is all a terrible mistake.
I never thought I would be able to cope, but I did and so will you.
The ‘waiting’ is a constant, wait for diagnosis, then surgery, then chemo… you do get used to it and we all develop our own coping mechanisms.
The best for me was and is this forum, if there is a question that you cant see the answer to, post a thread and ask, ask, ask… I have had such tremendious support and you will to.
Good luck on Monday with your Surgeon, whatever you agree to proceed with there will be lots of ladies on here that have gone through the same procedure.
Keep us posted
Marguerite
Hi Lou
Really sorry you have had to join us, l ‘joined’ in February after being diagnosed. I thought my world had come to an end, cancer was with me 24/7. Every horror goes through your head, night and day, but you really do begin to live with it.
The worst part is the waiting for appointments and results. But you do get there, and once they have given you a ‘plan’ you will start to feel as if your life is in control again.
It is not going to be easy, but these lovely ladies on this site will guide you through every question you have, 24/7 so use them as you need them.
Will be thinking of you on Monday, and hope you start your treatment quickly as possible. A rollercoaster ride, but hang on in there, you will come out the other side.
Love
Sandra xxx
Hi Lou,
Sorry to hear of your diagnosis; it is a shock to hear those words. What you say rings bells for me as I felt very similar when I was diagnosed. My surgery was the first time I’d been in hospital.
Things tend to happen quite quickly and I found that I wanted to prepare carefully for each appointment by making a list of questions and taking it along.
I think the tip I would give you is do get hold of the Resource Pack that Louise has mentioned. It is full of useful information, suggests what you might want to find out and sort of “leads” you through the process.
This Forum is also a great resource as Clare & Sal say, so do come on with questions etc, or just to express how you are feeling if that helps. I found it helpful to have the support of women who were going through the treatment at the same time that I was.
Good luck,
Eliza xx
So sorry to hear of your diagnosis - I know how numb you must be feeling. I was diagnosed Sept 09 but didn’t join these forums until Feb. I had this idea that if I didn’t tell anyone then it wasn’t real - if that makes sense.
You will come through and I can only reiterate what the others have said. You will meet some lovely ladies on this site who will be only too happy to help. Ask questions, someone on here will have the answer. Take questions with you to your doctors, that way you will have all the facts. Once you have a plan of attack then you will feel more in control and then take one day at a time. This feeling of horror will pass, I promise.
Good luck and take care
Val x
Thanks to all of you for your words, you made my Day 1 much more bearable, I’m so glad I came across this forum early on.
Take care and good luck to everyone
Lou
Hi Lou,
I got on this road just a short while before you (dx late Feb). I’ve had surgery and am now back at work waiting for rads and hormone therapy to start. You’ve been much braver than I was in coming here straight away - I was afraid of reading things that would be too much too soon. I’m so pleased that its making things more manageable for you and I’m happy to say that by dipping in and out and reading up on things a bit at a time, I’ve found this place to be an absolute godsend.
Good luck with your appointment on Monday, with luck you’ll come away with a plan and can start your own process of questions and answers.
Debs x
Hi Lou17
Its a tough place to be. I ditto all that the others have said. It does get easier, tho may not feel like that for you at the moment. This site is invaluable and I dont know how I would have coped without it.
Take care
Julia xx
Hi Lou,
I too was diagnosed yesterday. I spent the whole day in shock & working on auto pilot. Whenever anyone said ‘Hi Gill, how are you?’ I replied ‘I good thanks’ when I really wanted to burst into tears & tell them I have breast cancer. I did tell my line manager at work (after breaking down in tears) but haven’t told anyone else. I just dont know how to tell people or even if I should tell people. Why worry my kids because I know when my mum told me she had Breast cancer I felt so useless.
I dont know much right now because I feel so numb inside.
Its good that you are getting your treatment so soon because I feel my care team do not seem to me in a hurry & I just want this thing out of me.
Good luck
Gill
I was dx March 2009 and can so remember your feelings, its not easy but as others have said you will get through it!
Once you know what is going to happen it seems more real, although i think i was in denial for ages!
This site has been invaluable and i have made some really good friends, they support you through good and bad! 2 of mine travelled miles to come to my 50th birthday party last weekend! So keep using it, tips and advice from others are great!
Hope all goes well for you, love Debs xx
Hi Lou & Gill
Sorry to hear you have just been diagnosed with BC but as everyone says it’s the waiting that’s the worst bit and once treatment starts the time really does fly by. I found the hard bit was getting my head to accept it but once I had told everyone and they got over the "be positive’ comments, I was able to deal with talking about it much easier.
Gill please do talk to people about it including your children (depending on their ages I think) as they will want to know what you are going through and will be more supportive when you have off days.
These forums as an endless source of information and help and since December I have found them invaluable and encouraging.
Things will get better.
Good Luck for Monday Lou and Gill you can always call your care team with concerns if you feel they aren’t in a hurry.
Best wishes
Babs x
Lou and Gill
Sorry to hear that you have been diagnosed with bc.
I remember when I was diagnosed in July 2009 - having to tell my dad (mum died in 2005 from breast cancer) and my husband and work. It was very traumatic deciding on the right thing and even being able to say those “words” without bursting into tears.
Everyone is different and will need to judge for themselves but I felt that a whole weight had been lifted when I eventually told my friends and family (including my 4 year old). There are so many appointments, and emotional ups and downs, that its not really something you are going to be able to hide until its finished. I felt the support I received after telling people was what I needed to enable me to cope with it.
I had a mastectomy, chemo and rads - finished last Monday. The last 12 months has flown by and hasnt been as bad as I was expecting.
If you need guidance on anything - just post on here and help will be given.
So good luck with your journeys. Take each step at a time and think positive.
Paula
Dear Froggy and Debs
Welcome to the forums - allthough I know both of you do not even want a “welcome” to anything like a forum! I am also sorry to hear about the diagnosis of the C-word…
I was innitially told I have this C-word on the 17th March 2010. I had a WLE and excision of 4-5 lymph nodes on the 30th March, and got the pathology reports yesterday. I am frightened about my treatment now, but I will go through this hopefully in a positive way. I am trying to cope with everything. My knee and my breast…
I am still recovering after my Total Knee Replacement on the 29th January 2010, when I heard I have invasive ductal breast cancer! I just wanted to sleep and sleep and sleep…maybe I wanted to deny this news and did not want to think about it.
I want to offer you support and willing to talk to both of you. By e-mail or phone. Just let me know.
All the best for both of you, and I hope you will find this forums helpfull.
Sincere
MCT
Hi Frogget
Sorry I misread your name…sorry I said Froggs!
Sincere
MCT
Hallo Lou17
I am in a mess… I thought it was Debs.
Lou17 - please read my comment - it was for you!
Sincere
MCT
Hallo Debs
I am really in a mess…I thought it was you that was diagnosed yesterday. I wanted to make a comment that I am also in my fifties, and want to e-mail you!
Hope it is well with you after your C-word journey!
Let me know how you are.
Sincere
MCT