I was diagnosed with bc yesterday. I’m 35. I had been told to expect the lump to be a milk lump (I’m breastfeeding) and so went alone. I don’t think I took much in at meeting and I don’t know what stage I am - would they have told me at that meeting? I know that I need lump removed and chemo but not sure on order. I can’t stop crying since yesterday. I have my next appt on Tuesday. What should I be asking?
Hi Penfold, really sorry you have got this news, but this forum is a blessing and everyone is very helpful and supportive. They don’t normally tell you the stage until they get results from the operation but I would call your bc nurse and let her know that you did not take it all in yesterday which in the circumstances is not surprising. They will understand. What I have learnt is that we all have different plans because of the variety of BC so once you have a clearer idea of the plan for you, which comes in stages, everyone will help with advice a d support, love and hugs x x x
Thanks Chez, my nurse rang me this morning and explained a bit more to me said she guessed I hadn’t taken much in at the meeting. I’ve got an invasive ductal carcinoma and she said they thought it had been caught early and not in my lymph nodes as far as they can tell. She said they are going to treat me with surgery, chemo and radio because of my age but will need to decide about order of treatment. I’m still so confused but I do feel a little better now I have a name for it! Does that make sense? Seeing doctors again next week, These boards are so supportive, so many lovely people around. Thanks again for replying xx
Hi Penfold and welcome to the BCC forums
In addition to the support here please feel free to call our helpliners to talk through any concerns or queries, lines are open during the week 9-5 and Saturdays 10-2 on 0808 800 6000
You will find lots of information and further support ideas from BCC via the following link which I hope you will find helpful:
breastcancercare.org.uk/younger-women
Take care
Lucy BCC
Hi Penfold,
Welcome to the group, and as all the other ladies have said before you are not alone and everyone is so supportive on here. I too have (now removed) invasive ductal. I have had my surgery and was hoping to have just radiotherapy and hormone tablets. Unfortunately hormone tabs wont work for me so I am going to have chemo, waiting for the date. This whole awful process is about waiting…waiting…waiting and that is what you will find hard. Like others have said, any appointments try and get someone to go with you, along with a book and pen. I was so lucky to have my amazing daughter with me and honestly she is my lifeline. I pick up on all the negatives and nothing more, she reminds me of the positives which I just dont take in. Having my book where questions and the answers have been written down helps when I have those down moments (unfortunately too many at the minute!). Its an emotional journey but your not alone, use this amazing site and lovely ladies to offer you support 
Take care Lynda xx
Thanks all for your replies. I went to see my GP today and I am feeling a lot better about things tonight. I will try to always take someone to appointments but I have three small children and we don’t have any family nearby so this makes things difficult to arrange. Have sorted childcare for one of next week’s appointments thanks to some fab friends. I’m starting to make a list of questions too. Still scared and confused but I’m not crying all the time now do that has to be a good thing. Thanks again for making me feel so welcome and for taking the time to offer your advice xxxx
Hi
I was diagnosed 10 days ago with papillary invasive cancer. I am having a lumpectomy and nodes removed in another 10 days but won’t know what the treatment will be until a week or two after that. I’m finding the waiting and uncertainty the worst thing.
But I agree with the others here. Take someone with you, write down your questions as you think of them, and don’t worry about any of the questions being stupid! Also don’t worry about asking the same question more than once - this alreasy feels to me like learning a foreign language, so I’m sure it will take a while!
Good luck!
x
Hi Penfold,
So sorry you’ve had to join our horrible club but the members are wonderfully wise and supportive.
I’ll just echo what everyone else has said, the initial diagnosis stages are the worst as it feels like you’ve entered into some sort of weird fantasy land where people speak a foreign language so it’s hard to take it all in.
I think of surgery and any chemo needed ahead of surgery to shrink the cancer as the ‘cure’ and the stuff that comes afterwards (possibly chemo, radiotherapy, hormones etc) as being preventative and stopping us from developing cancer again. As you are young I guess they will want you to have as much preventative treatment as is possible but won’t really know what will be best for you until the cancer has been removed and they have tested it to see which treatments you’ll respond to best.
Along the way we’ll all try to help you as much as possible and this forum is the very best source of advice and support I’ve found. These wonderful ladies can answer any question, no matter how big or small, and it’s so reassuring to talk to people who’ve actually experienced it for themselves and can tell us what it is really like, usually with a great big dose of dark humour too!
Good luck with your journey
xx
Sharon
Hi Penfold,
Can I share my surgeons words on telling me that I had invasive ductal carcinoma … he explained that it was by far the most common type of breast cancer and said “we like common”, “we’ve had LOTS of practice dealing with common!”
I wrote my questions down too - printed out in longhand and worded exactly the way I wanted to ask them . I’m not good with sympathy when I cry so I handed him my list and asked him to talk me through them and ignore the fact I was crying if it happened . Best and most informative appointment ever … and the first of many non-crying ones as it turned out !
Do what is right for you - everyone hated that I chose to attend all my appointments alone despite having supportive husband, friends and family . It worked for me but that’s because it was choice and not forced on me by circumstances .
Obviously this site is great - nothing will happen to you that someone else has not found a way to deal with ! Just keep asking .
Kitt
X
Thanks everyone, somehow I’ve managed to get through the weekend without a complete breakdown. I do feel panicky all the time and I’m finding it difficult to eat or sleep. I’m also getting paranoid about every ache or gripe in my body. But your words of wisdom and encouragement do help so thank you again x
I’m waiting to go in for my next appointment. I feel so sick with nerves. Please tell me this gets easier to cope with. Want to run and scream 
It wasn’t as bad as I feared. Lump in left breast just a cyst so just the right to worry about. Going for chemo first and will start in a couple of weeks. I swear I can feel lump getting bigger by the day I know I just have to get used to this but every fibre in my body is telling me to run away screaming my poor babies are having to give up breastmilk and that’s not going well and so I feel like I’m messing up their lives too. Sorry to moan x
Thanks Hazel and Chez,
I’m seeing oncologist tomorrow to discuss the plan for chemo. I’m scared of chemo but also want it to start as lump feels enormous and I’m sure it’s growing. I have a dull ache in my chest tonight and I don’t know if this is caused by my severe anxiety or if it’s something else. I’m terrified it is something else but another part of my brain telling me not to be silly. I’m actually sleeping ok (when my babies let me) just not really functioning during the day as I’m crippled with worry. I hate being alone (without adult company) but I’m **bleep** company at the same time. I’m feeling really let down by my mum who has barely said anything to me since I told her about my diagnosis. I’m hoping I will feel better when treatment starts even though I’m so scared of side effects. It’s good to hear that it is bearable from people on here. Thanks again for reading me xxx
i am sorry to say last week I too have joined this horrid club. Diagnosed with IDC ( I think, I;m still confused). Suffer health anxiety anyway and now feel like I am dying! Can’t eat, sleep or function. At the moment my order of treatment is chemo, mastectomy, radiotherapy. What a long road all this is. Sorry for the depressing post I just feel so overwhelmed by it all, and I was such a happy person with a great family.
:smileysad:
LindyLouLou
Hi penfold - u had to stop breastfeeding when my twins were 5 weeks old because I developed a huge infection following a severe excezma break out - they are 15 now - get As at school and are quite lovely x I felt racked with guilt at the time - but don’t look back - your children do sooo much better when u are looking after yourself xxxx
Hi lindyloulou xxxx you are already doing amazing as you have put a post on here xxx you are going to be fine ! Don’t worry - we laugh cry shout here all of it xxx I’m due to start chemo in March - had my surgery 12 January - I’ve been through it all emotionally but you learn to take it day by day x stay busy in the early days if u are not too tired as it helps keep ur mind off stuff x
Hi lovelies, it does seem to get better as the treatments and appointments start happening.
I was diagnosed the end of October, surgery before christmas, chemo started last week.
Its s very wierd, surreal experience, and I still just sit some days and wonder what the heck happened.
You can do it, we’re here with you. Youre not alone.
Xxxx
Much love
Sandie
P.s. Chemo was not so bad, just another thing for me. they have drugs for everything, sleeping tablets are not a cop out if you’re struggling. You heal better well rested.
Hi Lindyloulou, sorry to hear you are in this club too. It sounds like we are experiencing the same emotions and reaction to it, which I suppose is comforting in an odd sort of way. I’m trying to keep busy and be around people as much as possible as this seems to help. At times I’m crippled with worry and I’m also hating the worry I’m causing my poor hubby. Keep telling myself that I’m strong and otherwise healthy so that’s in my favour. Chin up and loads of hugs xxx
So met onc yesterday and chemo starts week after next. I’m so scared of side effects and how I’m going to cope with three small children. Anyone managed with kids on chemo?
Hi penfold - I’ll b starting in March x no advice just lots of warm hugs xxxx