ps
AND I HAVE MANAGED TO LOSE 3 LBS THIS WEEK!! Have put on 10 pounds since taking tamoxifen!
woo hoo!!!
x
Had my first ‘outing’ today at lunchtime to the local Wyvale garden centre. Treated my husband to lunch and had a little wander around - didn’t manage to get outside to see all the plants though, just too much. Felt rather self-conscious walking around as had to walk very slowly and slightly bent as if I was an old lady of 90!
Now sitting slumped in a chair in my conservatory with an aching tum !
Just had an almighty downpour for 15 minutes - at least it means my pots won’t need watering tonight.
Hope everyone ok and enjoy the weekend even if it rains !
love Sarah
x
Hi all, Heidi that is great news onwards and upwards now and you have your recon to look forward to in august, Hope you have a good evening mama mia is my favourite love to sing along!
Sarah good to hear your getting out and about now its rained alot here this pm! get yer feet up and chill out now.
Hope you all have a lovely weekend Love Helen2XX
Glad you enjoyed your trip out Sarah. It gets boring after a while doesn’t it staying in looking at four walls and watching daytime tv. Feel like a talking radio times sometimes, so sick of daytime tv.
I am currently in Newcastle upon tyne at moment having brought son home today. Feels so lovely to be back here again as i lived up here for a few years when i was younger and it still feels like home. The people are so friendly. Be awful going home and leaving son here on his own. Especially now his girlfriends out of his life,
Had quite a bit of rain here today but sun is shining now even though it;s 9pm.Looking forward to going to whitley bay seaside tomorrow, might even paddle my toes.
I know what you mean about walking like a 90 year old, i do too as its sore to walk too quickly as clothes rub my side where the expander port is and that is still so sore.
Hope everyone else is doing ok and you all have a great weekend.
Bye for now from geordie land xx
Morning girls…Hey Christina, enjoy yourself at whitely bay…why not go for a paddle even if it rains…be different! It is sad leaving those you love…especially when they are unhappy. Time will help…meantime he will know…that like all good mums… you’re there for him at the end of a phone!
Hi Helen…hope you hear something soon…keep your pecker up!
Hi Sarah…that is just where I went on my first outing…the garden centre. Same as you…went with full intentions of having a good look round…but after a short while was on my way back to the car. It’ll happen…a few more weeks and you’ll gain energy…and be more like yourself!
Hi Heidi…what brilliant news, I bet there was a big big celebration at your house…You might get the compassionate leave again, if he asks ‘nicely’…fingers crossed.
Lenny not long now…hope you are enjoying your time away.
Hi Anne hope your tummy scar is recovering ok…is it still itchy. mine is. I have two fairly hard areas over my scar, can’t decide if its fluid or muscle…ha…hope they know. When do you see your PS again Anne?
Hi the other Sarah hope you are recovering well too.
Its raining buckets here in Yorkshire…and a lot colder too!!
Enjoy your weekend ladies and take care
Helenxx
good evening everyone,
i have had 2 lovely nights away in a country hotel with my hubby and it was just what the dr ordered until my upset stomach from last weekend returned!! but that was just during the last night and the silver lining is that i’ve lost some weight! the other thing is as lovely as it was - room, food and surroundings - nothing can change your circumstances… you know what i mean, the cancer stuff comes with you, maybe a little more distant but there just the same. i wonder if the day will ever come when i will just wake up in the morning and the only thing on my mind will be how i’m going to get all the ironing done?
and yes just 2 sleeps and i’ll be in the hosp ready for wednesday morning… thanks for all your well wishes you are the people who have inspired me to keep on with the plan… a cleavage, how novel!
well i hope you have had a good weekend, i’ve spent today with my boys. tomorrow i will be winding things up etc.
so dear friends good night…christina, helen and helen, anne, heidi, sarah and sarah… and good night john boy ( sorry if you are too young to know the waltons)
sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite!!
lots of love,
lenny
xxxx
Hi Lenny… glad you had a good get away. Not long now eh! You poor thing, hope the bug doesn’t recur! sounds like its a nasty one !!I do know what you mean Lenny. I have said something similar to my OH. When the time comes and I wake up in a morning and I’m not thinking of anything connected with cancer…thats when I’ll know that I’ve begun to move on with my life. But steps at a time…just keep taking em !
Done quite a bit this weekend…paying the price with stiffness and tiredness…but a good nights sleep will put that right. Although I’m writing this late because I can’t sleep. Still I can lie in the morning!
Goodnight or should I say morning now…to Anne,Lenny,Christina, Helen, Heidi, Tracy, Sarah and Sarah and Mary Ellen, grandad, grandma, ma and pa etc…yep I used to love Waltons Mountain Lenny heheeheheh
Have a good nights sleep all and {{hugs}}for you Lenny…soon now.
catch ya in a while…
Helenxxxxx
A good Monday morning to everyone.
Helen, two o’clock in the morning and on the computer?? Know the feeling. I still cannot sleep on my side or tummy so don’t sleep too well, having said that I did go through the night for the first time over the weekend - sound like a baby, but think it was the alcohol actually.
How stiff are you still Helen, I feel like I should be ok by now, but maybe I’m asking too much, 7 weeks on and must admit it seems ages ago.
All systems go this week Lenny, glad you had a few days to recharge those batteries. We’re off to Spain for a few nights soon and I can’t wait. You WILL have a cancer free day soon I assure you. Know exactly what you mean, but you’ve battled, come out the other side, and will by this time next week have a cleavage again. Time to kick those demons to the kerb and go for it - I’m trying to learn Spanish, kids think its hilarious. All the very best for Wednesday, will be thinking of you.
Have been gardening this weekend, still can’t dig, but that’s kept hubby busy. Rather nice actually, doing all the nice stuff then saying I need to rest (at a pub).
To everyone, hope you are all ok. Keep in touch.
Cheers
Anne x
Hi all… Hi Anne, yep I’ve realised why I didn’t sleep very well last night. I used to drink about 6 very strong cups of coffee a day. In hospital all I drank was water or juice, didn’t fancy hot drinks for some reason. Anway when I came out I carried that on… I only have 1 coffee in the morning as a treat. Except occasionally like yesterday when I had 1 in the afternoon. So my sleeplessness I’m putting down to the coffee…geeez what a load of waffle!
I’m not as stiff as I was when walking about…but if I over do it I become very stiff again. My mobility is much better…and because of that I tend to over do it…catch 22.
I can sleep on both sides now…but ‘baby’ my tender side. My tummy has gone quite hard…think thats fluid.
You enjoy yourself in spain Anne…recharge those batteries!!you deserve it!!
Lenny how great are you gonna feel with a cleavage and two boobs. You are bound to feel nervous but…one more day at home and its happening…so nearly nearly there. Go for it girl. {{hugs}} lenny!
Helenxx
Hi all
Re the cancer thoughts - it is still very early days for some of you - Lenny, Helen - so I just want to say that the thoughts do get less as time goes on. I am 4 years down the line and don’t think about it much now at all - I don’t think it ever goes away completely so whenever you get a new ache or pain…
Lenny - this time next week the worst will be over and you will be walking with a tight tummy like the rest of us !!! Have PM you.
After my day out on Friday I was wiped out on Saturday so realised I did too much. Getting a bit impatient so reassuring to read your post Helen about still being stiff after 7 weeks. Have you just started sleeping on your side after 7 weeks ? Just wondering as I am still sleeping on my back which means don’t sleep so well.
Anne - enjoy Spain
My husband went back to work today so I guess it’s more TV and computer time for me !
Keep well everyone
Sarah
x
Hi all
Isn’t funny how I am able to go from such a high to such a low. We went to the mama mia night on Friday night, and it was good fun. Me, my husband and another couple went. I went to the toilet during the evening and when I came back from the toilet, my neighbour told us that my hubby had been chatted up 3 times whilst I had gone, and that one of the women had sat on his lap and asked him if she had nice breasts because her friends had told her that she had the best pair of breasts in the building. My neighbour did not tell me it maliciously and I was not angry with him or my husband, but it was a complete trigger of downward emotions for me. I kept a smile fixed on my face for the rest of the night and then came home and sobbed for over an hour. My husband is a really attractive man, and I feel pretty upset and paranoid right now, having one breast doesn’t do alot for your self esteem. He didnt ask for her to do that, and as i say i am not angry with him, but it really hurts. I want to be everything to him. I wonder if i will get my confidence back when I have reconstruction? I know that i will never be the same again, and OF COURSE i feel so lucky and grateful that i am alive etc, but sometimes i just want to curl up and think why me? why did i deserve to get this at 35? I have been constantly strong and brave and up beat but i feel really tired from keeping this face up permanently, I feel like i just want to opt out of it all for a while. So sorry to moan.
Best of luck Lenny!! Can’t wait to hear how you get on.
Heidi xxx
god, sorry, that all makes me sound so self centred.
xxx
Heidi, unfortunately this roller coaster is all part of the bc thing and heres the place to let it all out. We all know exactly how you feel and can totally relate to how the mama mia incident affected you.
I can only say that I was where you are a few months ago, wouldn’t let my hubby see me, annoyed at myself for not coping when I should be happy to be here where there’s others coping with so much more.
Now, 7 weeks after DIEP, and yes my confidence has returned, too much sometimes, when friends ask about the ins and outs of the op, I’m too willing to flash it all, I’m sooo proud of the results. Never realised just how much this op would mean to me, and so very pleased with myself for going for it.
It is hard to stay positive all the time, and I do try, but I am sure that when you come round from the op and look down and see a cleavage again, your life will alter.
My hubby has always been supportive whatever, but he keeps telling me just how different I am since the op, and how that smile is a very real smile now.
Cyber hugs.
Anne x
Heidi…Anne has said it all. I went a different route, and had a mastectomy and reconstruction in one go…so one step was missed out. But I can appreciate from listening to all the girls on this thread…how very different and ‘together’ they now feel. I haven’t been without a breast…so haven’t gone through that particular feeling…but can vouch for what the others say…it is a relief and a pleasure to look down and see two breasts.
We all feel up and down…no matter how further down the track we go, its a big thing…and your confidence will grow and keep growing …so look forward to the ‘event’ .{{hugs}}
Do you wear a raincoat Anne…er you know like the ‘flashers’ do lol hehehehehe:-) OK!..Yes I’ve flashed at my friends as well…my raincoat is in the wardrobe…
Not long to go Lenny…get your raincoat ready too for afterwards. How long have they said you will be in hospital?positive {{hugs}} for wednesday
Helen have you heard anything yet??Hope you’re doing ok .
take care all
catch ya later
Helenxx
Hello helen,anne christina sarah sarah, Lenny Heidi. hope you have all enjoyed your weekend. Heidi that must of been very upsetting and really understand how you feel! i do assure you that you will feel so much better when you have had your recon it really does give you your confidence back again.
Well girls still watching the post and rushing to the phone everytime it rings but no news of another date as yet give it till end of week then will pester again!
Lenny will be thinking of you on wednesday bet you cant wait to get that clevage back! look forward to hear how your getting on.
Love Helen2XX Sleep well!
well good day all,
this is my last post as a one boob wonder!! tomorrow my surgeon will perform his magic. thank you so much for your well wishes, i am nervous but also calm. i know that will probably change during the day.
i go into the op with all your words of how good it is to be whole again ringing in my ears.
nell you keep everyone in order while i’m gone…
anne do well in the spanish, i’m fluent so if you need any help - solo tiene que preguntar!
helen2 get onto those guys and tell them that you have been patient enough.
sarah you know how grateful i am to you for all the tips and support.
christina keep up the good fight you are better than them all.
heidi, no one could shine a light to you even if they have 2 boobs, you are stunning and never forget that, i’ll let you know how i get on so you can make all the prep you need.
o by the way it is a tram flap i am having!!just found the paper work!
well love to you all, talk to you when i get back,got my rain coat ready for the flashing!!
lenny
xxxx
Hi Lenny…you are gonna be in a mixed mood today…but hopefully the primary feeling is the ‘happy’ one. You sound an ‘altogether’ lass Lenny…here’s to your new boob!! Come and post when you are ready…and we can celebrate with you!! {{{gentle hugs}}} for afterwards!!
Hi everyone else…have a nice day all…still cloudy with bits of sunshine now and then. Ha should have been a weather girl/woman!!!
Helenxx
Lenny - All the very best for tomorrow. Thinking of you.
Cheers
Anne x
Thank you all so much for your support and words of wisdom! Am feeling a bit brighter today, having young children is so fab because it makes you dig yourself out of wallowing in self pity! My husband is not overly supportive, and has pushed himself away from me through all of this, guess its a protective thing.
Anyway, dinner needs to be cooked! Lots of love to you all. xxxx
PS
I heard a lovely quote today…
Real friends are like wetting yourself. Everyone can see it but only you can feel its true warmth!!! xx