Had a lumpectomy in March, also full clearance of lymphs, the news this week was very upsetting, there were 16/18 pos. which sent me into a flood of tears, and still crying. my cancer was a 2cm ductal. l also have to go back in on the 14th to have a ‘very slight’ margin of pre cancer cells removed. then the chemo, radio, drugs will hopefully start.
It is 5 days since l was told the results, and still feel so upset, l am considering seeing the doctor to get something to calm me down! does anything really help? or is it a case of ‘get on with it’ My life has had a few ups and downs, and have always been able to cope, then BC came…
Love and Thoughts of you all
Sandra x
Sandra
I am so sorry abour your news. The breast cancer diagnosis is bad enough, but then to hear there are lymph nodes involved is almost unbearable. I think the way you are feeling is a completely normal reaction to terrible news. However, it is always worth discussing it with you GP as he/she can properly assess you as the the need for further help. I took antidepressants at the beginning to prevent depression as I have a history of it. Stopped them recently as never really got depressed.
A ‘get on with it’ attitude helps of course, but you cant make youself feel like that. If you do then thats great. We will give you all the support we can on this site. The helpline is great and peer support excellent; I was linked up with someone who had been in a very similar situation to me some years ago and it was great to chat on the phone.
If there’s anything you want to ask, or just want to vent your feeling, this is a great place.
Take care
Julia xx
Hi Sandra
It sounds like you’re having a pretty tough time at the moment. As well as the support you receive from the other users do feel free to give the BCC helpline a call. Here you can talk things through with a trained member of staff who will offer you a listening ear as well as support and information. The lines are closed today but will be open again tomorrow from 9am to 2pm and the number is 0808 800 6000.
Best wishes
Sam (BCC Facilitator)
Hi Sandra,
just sending you a hug! What you’re feeling is normal and you will feel better I promise!
Take care
Al
x
Hi Sandra
I know it won’t help too much to tell you this but it may reassure you. I felt exactly the same as you. I had a 4-5cm lump and lymph node involvement too - the whole thing was extremely upsetting and scarey but what I did was hold onto anything positive that people told me like my oncologist telling me he was considering the treatment he was giving me to be curative treatment, like all my friends telling me they really believed I was going to be ok. In the beginning, like you I couldn’t eat or sleep so my sister called my GP who prescribed me Amitriptylene - to relax me at night when going to sleep and it really really helped. I was diagnosed in June 2007 and am due to have reconstruction soon.
Sending you hugs
Ruby xx
Julia, Thank you for the information, beleive me everthing positive helps, l will get in touch with the help line tomorrow, and hopefully l can speak to someone who has been through the same!
Al, Big Hug much appreciated and needed!
Ruby, Yes, it does help to have all the feedbacks, all your experiences. Hopefully l will start feeling a bit better when l see the oncologist. I don’t expect it will be for a month plus, as l am not having the second op until the 14th then healing and waiting for results, then waiting for oncologist, ok perhaps 2 months!!
Love to you all,
Thank You
Sandra xxx
Sandra
I think helpline may not be open till tues, after the holidays. Just to confirm what the others have said, there’s lots of positive stuff out there. I’m had it in lymph node and have just finished chemo and started rads. Tis hard but doable
Julia xx
Sandra, I do feel for you. I had the same experience - a large lump and lymph nodes involved and I had to have a second operation to get clear margins. It really was the worst point in the whole experience. You start to wonder what else could go wrong. In my case too not helped by a hostile breast care nurse who asked if wanted to change hospitals “as I obviously didn’t seem to trust them.” I was saved by calling the breast cancer care helpline - do please give them a call. And it does get better! I’m two years down the line and very well!
take carexxxx
HI MY GP GAVE ME DIAZARAM TRANQULISER HELPS ME GOOD LUCK JANE X
HI AGAIN WHAT HOSPITAL ARE YOU AT ,I LIVE IN KENT AM AT MAIDSTONE HOSPITAL X
Hi has anyone had a line fitted ?? I have to have one as had masectomy on the other breast …not looking forward to having it would like to hear if anyone else has had one ,start chemo next fri scared about every thing …having a bad day think i might have to go out shopping to take my mind off things …good excuse .jane x
Hi,
Julia, Just thought l would mention, that l have looked at the helpline and they are open tomorrow (saturday 3rd) so l will be giving them a call. Thank you xxx
Janey, Thank you l will speak to the doctor next week, if l still feel the same. I have an appointment to see the bcn on Tuesday to have more fluid drained, so l will also speak to her.
I live in Enfield, so my hospital is Chase Farm xxx
Blackheath, Thank you for sharing your experiences, you do begin to feel a bit paranoid, re - lymps - more margins, so it is good to hear it has happened to others, if you know what l mean?
I am lucky to have two very caring bcn’s, What a dreadful thing for your bcn to have said, we are all grasping to hear good things, so if we come across as though we don’t trust them, they should understand what a terrible time we are having. xxx
Hi Sandra
Goodness me, even though you are feeling so dreadful, you took the time to send me a positive message, on my post. THANKYOU, and hugs. I’m feeling a little better now I have a date, but now I just ache all over. Got to get the house work done, cos have people to stay over Easter, and I don’t feel like it.
Don’t feel that you are weak just because you may need a little help with coping, when you feel stronger you can stop taking them.
Thank you Marial, l have always been in control, so probably that is why l feel so bad.
No matter how upset l feel, l always try and read the forums, and some just jump out at you, and yours did, hence the reply!
Housework, oh yes must get some done, seem to spend all my time thinking and thinking and getting nothing done! Always good when you have company coming, makes you get the dusting done!
Not sure why, but today l feel ‘slightly better’ probably will have a relapse later today, but for now out with the duster!
Be thinking of you on the 8th, hope all goes well for you, and that you stay positive, Enjoy your company for the weekend!
Love and Hugs
Sandra
Hi Janey 23,
I had a port put in as i am going to have herceptin as well as chemo, some of the ladies that only had chemo had the picc line. I could have had a picc line but decided that the port put less restrictions on my lifestyle. Had it done since Dec 09 and do not regret it.
Hi Sandra
Not sure how or what you were told but when i was told my full path report of 8cm tumour with 15/20 nodes i just felt the ground move from beneath me, I tried to hold on to any hope going but my Onc is very blunt and very driven by stats on prognosis I walked out on her on our first appt. She put me into what I can only describe as a very big black hole, i walked home 3 miles crying and i even questioned if it was worth having treatment. Luckily I made an appt with my GP and the BCN, both really looked after me and gave me their honest opinion, not in a pink glossed over manner but with a bed side manner which helped me no end, they gave me back some hope.
I have replied to your other thread re number of nodes but again will say I’m here still no evidence and this is since Dec 2005… I personally would recommend talking to another medical body.
Debs x
Hi Debs
Yes thank you l did get you comments on the other thread, and have kept them, need to hold onto anything positive. I have not seen the oncologist yet, still waiting for another clear margin op! l suppose it is the long waiting that is doing my head in!
I will make an appointment this week to see my doctor, they are very good, My surgeon is on holiday at the moment so l am seeing his deputy! who just seems to look at me and nod. The bcn is very good, and staying quite positive for me. I suppose it is just me at the moment.
The waking from a nightmare! the little aches and pains that meant nothing before! The look of sorrow on the faces of those l love and who love me! So hard to get away from. so hard to keep some sanity in my head…But l keep trying
Love to all
Sandra x
Hi Sandra,
what you are feeling is all very normal, cry cry cry, its good to get it out. The next 6 months will be an "interesting time " in your life and you will find out a lot about yourself ! there is SOOOOOOOOOOO much them can do now and throw at us. you just have to read all the Poz storys on the forams. sending lots of love and chocolate thoghts as its easter sunday !!
xoxo
And Janey a port is the best thing !! I had one fitted last summer. No more trying to find a vain for hours, just straight in !easy 
xoxo
janey I have had a port fitted recently - have had a few teething problems but am very glad to have it, as will be having IV treatment for at least a year. If you expect your treatment to continue beyond the usual 6 - 8 rounds of chemo I would at least enquire about a port - it is under the skin and you can bathe, swim etc. Mine is barely noticeable - although I suspect it would show more on skinnier ladies. Good luck whatever you decide.
Sandra - I had 27 / 33 positive, so know exactly what you are feeling. It is a horrible time, then waiting for scan results, and I spent most of it in tears - couldn’t face speaking to anyone except my husband. All I can say is it does get easier once treatment starts, but everyone finds different ways to cope. xx
Hello Sandra
just wanted to send love and to say that the way you are feeling is a reasonable response to what you are dealing with. Please be kind to yourself and seek and accept whatever help makes sense to you on your journey
hope next op goes well
love, monica xx