Do they get it wrong often - can't get idea out of my head

A lady wrote to me on my other thread regarding worrying, and she summed up exactly what had happened to me. I had been plodding along nicely and then while looking for something else read something by mistake that totally through me and turned my world upside down in seconds.

I rang the BC helpline yesterday and tears and the lady was so nice and said with everything going on its not wonder that I have finally broken. She also said that while the forums are good for people who are dx and give amazing support, sometimes for vulnerable people who are waiting for results operations etc. they can be the worse thing because you can read things and end up focusing on all the bad things. This I am afraid has happened to me. My husband has even said today not those forums I wish you had never gone found them as look at the state you have got youself into.

I feel so alone now and I think probably there are ladies on here thinking I am moaning and going on when I have not even had a dx, but I might not have a cancer dx but I have had very severe depression and that is how I feel now. I keep trying to find statistics for the tests and trying to find out accurate the needle biopsy is.

Are needle core biopsies very accurate, are they wrong often. I am totally in despair here and do not know what to do an what way to turn.

I am sorry again but I had forgotten just how awful depression can be, no not forgotten but put it to the back of my mind, but now its come back and I just don’t know what to do to stop worrying about these results.

Its kinda surreal I feel almost invisible on here these days. Maybe I should go and find a site for depression.

Dear Jules

I am sorry to read that you are feeling so low, please do call our helpline tomorrow for support and a ‘listening ear’, our specialist breast care nurses are there for you so please do feel free to ring. The number is 0808 800 6000 and opens Monday-Friday 9am-5pm and Saturday 9am-2pm.

Best wishes
Lucy

Hi Jules,
You are not invisible, apart from anything else I think the site is quiet as ita bank holiday weekend. Arsenal are also playing this afternoon and I’ve been left alone -…Ahhh
I’ve been trying to remember your threads and think initially you were asking how soon you would be out and about after having a lump removed, I scanned it but didn’t reply as you seem to have had lots of info, still as I am sitting here with a cup of tea.
I had a lump removed on my birthday in November (not a date I’ll forget) I was out of hospital the following day and off for lunch with friends 2 days later, and back into work 6 days after the op Not sure about partying but if as I suspect 1964 is the year of your birth - you are only a youngster so why not.
All the best Jules
Loads of love
Magsi

P.S. jules - I am around all afternoon so if you fancy a chat just put finger to keyboard. I’m supposed to be doing ‘school work’ but welcome distractions.

Magsi x

Thank you Magsi, I really appreciate you talking to me I am totally spiralling out of control here and its horrible, my main worry is after being told by the doctor there was no lump, it went from there being one to a needle biopsy and now being told I had abnormal cells and they need removed. He did say it was not cancer but that there are abnormal cells that need removing.

I then read that SOMETIMES the biopsies are wrong and that cancer can be found and that has terrified me, in a few seconds my whole world felt like it has crashed down around me. I spent all yesterday looking for statistics on wrong needle core biopsies, i know it probably sounds silly but I am so distressed about it all.

One lady had been writing to me in private and has been so kind. she is probably reading this now, thank you so very much.xxxxxx

ps hubby has told me we we are going out for a trip to the coast, he is very concerned that i am slipping into a deep depression so we will go out for a little drive.

thank you magsi for writing to me. I just feel so vulnerable and that people probably are fed up with me, i dont want to feel like this.

xxxx

Enjoy your trip - wish I could come too - oh well back to the work - 'a teachers job is never done …

Magsi x

Thanks Magsi, we had a nice time, thanks for writing to me earlier, it really felt that I had become invisible on here over the last couple of days and I felt that maybe people resented me being on here because I am not suffering with cancer. Maybe I am being oversensitive, but I have so much on my plate at the moment.

and thank you Lucy I will give them a ring tomorrow as they have been really kind and understanding in the past.

Hi Jules

I had the same thing as you, my lump and abnormal cells were taken away last year in February. I just had another mammogram and nothing was found. I am being investigated for something else now but just wanted to reasure you that I dont think many biopsies are wrong, Like me, you have abnormal cells which have to come out, once they are out you will still worry, like I did :0). I think it takes a while to get over something like this. Maybe you should go and discuss things with your GP he may be able to give you something to calm you down, just for a little while.

Yvonne xx

Hi Jules, it’s understandable you are feeling this way.As anyone who has had these tests will tell you, the waiting can be terrible. Once you have the full picture I am sure you will deal with it. I have had depression and it’s awful. I wish I could be more helpful but I do understand and hope you will be able cope until you get the results take care thinking of you Eileen

Thank you Evie, I have been referred to the menta health team again, because what with mum and my daughter she can see I am loosing it big time. I am sorry to hear you have another problem I hope that gets settled quickly.

Hubby and I went to Goring by the sea today for a lovely walk but an old lady in her eighties fell over and her daughter who was holding her arm went down with her and landed on top of her. She had a bad arm in a sling and I was so worried that she might have broken her hip, hubby put her in the recovery position and got her settled, but hubby and another man managed to get her up and helped her and her daughter to there car. I am so glad we were there, as felt we helped today.

Feeling a bit more positive today, The sea air had made me tired. I love Goring,

Hi Jules,

I’m a success story so I thought it might help you to hear from me. I know what you mean about reading things and wondering if they apply to you - it can be very worrying, especially if you are prone to worrying! My results following biopsy initially came back as negative, but the consultant (bless him!) queried them as he wasn’t happy with what he’d seen on the mammograms - after retesting they showed low to intermediate grade pre-cancerous cells (DCIS) and I have had an operation to remove them, no further treatment necessary. Pre cancerous cells can’t spread, but I too was warned that something else may be lurking - they need to tell you that just in case, but luckily for me this was not the case. Please try and remain positive, if they have said they have only found pre cancerous cells you need to keep telling yourself they have caught this thing early and the treatment they give you will sort it out. You don’t mention what the next step for you is, but good luck. x

Hi summer thanks for your posting, they have said that the cells are not cancerous, but they are abnormal and it is best to take the lump out sooner rather than later. I have my operation on the 2nd June, I am just terrified that once the lump comes out they say “sorry we got it wrong the lump has cancer”.

I am so glad you had a good result in the end with your treatment.

Thank you Eileen for your good wishes.
xx

hey jules, i can see u hun x ive had no credit since friday so av only just got bak on. aww dont be depressed hun ive been ther b4+its bad shit,i lost my hair through stress+it used 2take me at least an hour n half-2hours 2get ready+go 2shop NEXT DOOR…to wer i lived. never again god i hated everythin. please keep ur chin up you’ve got everything 2live for x x hugs karen x

Hi Jules

I am glad you hada good trip out. Your husband sounds a lovely man!!

I think the BCC helpline hit the nail on the head with what she said about the waiting period and about the things you can read. she sounds like she was a super person to talk to.

It’s a horribly tense time for you, we’re all either waiting or have been there. No-one would wish to make you feel bad… the support will be here for you - if you come back and tells us it’s ok we will rejoice with you.

take care

Jennifer x

I am glad your baby moved karen, I was really concerned if I am honest, but didnt want to put my worries on you, but thrilled its moved today (read that on an earlier thread) I am really sorry you had to go through the horrible demons of depression too, its such an awful thing. I am trying to be positive but I am having a hard time at the moment.

xxxx

Rjenr2

Thanks for your message, I am going to ring the consultants secretary on Tuesday morning on the recommendation of a lovely lady that has been priv messaging me over the last days because she was really concerned, I wont mention her name but she is an absolute star if you are reading this and very very kind. She said that I should mention my mental health problems and the other things, my mum, daughter etc. and ask them if I can be put on a list for cancellations.

Thanks for writing to me, I felt really alone on here ealier, thats the depression making me paranoid, but I felt like everyone was avoiding me because they were fed up with me.

XXXXX

Hey i think it’s because it’s bank hol that people weren’t about - i’ve been out all day myself - doing family stuff for my 50 birthday – hmm i don’t feel this old!!

the first time i ever posted… no-one repsonded and i felt OH! but it hink it’'s also that it is a busy site and it can be hard to keep track of posts and new threads can move down v quickly… but hey toot… people found u!!

i am glad there is a ‘guardian angel’ on here for you and i think her suggestion to seek a cancellation is sound advice - make sure you have your bag ready!!

i have been depressed in the past… it’s horrible… no one on here will be avoiding you - tough times for you at the moment and i have read your other thread and I think tough is an understatement!

you take care

J xx

Hi Jules, it sounds like you have had a lot to deal with recently and having depression makes it worse ! I have had mental health problems for years and stress of bc have made my depression worse. Sometimes it is ok but as you said one thing can set you off to the depths of despair. I hope you feel better soon. Yes, i relate to the paranoia and feeling that everyone is avoiding me !!
Feeling alone is the worst - remember that you are not alone on here- ever

Rachy xxx