Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

Gday Everyone,

I know that cancer is not something to laugh about, but everyone tells us to be positive and that laughing is the best medicine. Sometimes I think there are things that happen to us that are so terrible, that if you don’t laugh about it, you would cry. I am all for having a good laugh to make my situation less serious, especially on the days when I am feeling a bit low.

So why don’t we see if we can post a few for people to look at when they are on their low days and help them to smile a bit?

I have read lots of posts that have made me laugh. Our stories of the ‘unmentionables’ that happen to us that may have been awful at the time, but looking back on it, was a bit funny. Well, maybe we could share that with others who may laugh because it happened to them too.

So, let me start with a story of my own. It really did happen!

After I had my first chemo session I was expecting to lose my hair. I had been told that it could be really distressing loosing big clumps of long hair and so I booked in for my friend to come and clipper some of my hair off on the Monday.

What I didn’t expect was the hairy mat I found in my knickers at the weekend! It was soooo weird! It looked like my knickers were replaced with a hairy apes’ waxing tapes! They don’t really tell you about that do they? What was worse was that I seemed to have developed a lady garden curtain that stuck out from out of my caesarian scar that wouldn’t budge. Or some may call it a fringe! It was a truly interesting look that could have won me an award for creative design along side the brazilian I suppose, but looking back on it, it was something I could laugh about.

Needless to say that the worrying of the clippering of my head was not what my thoughts were about that day.

Hope this brings a smile to at least one person?

Lotsa laughs,

Lone xx

There was a thread similar to this before and it so made me smile, I did post whats below on that but, no harm doing it again both still make me chuckle now :slight_smile:

two things that come to mind…my wig ( the one and only time i wore it) getting caught in the zip of my jacket and slowly coming off…over my face…standing waiting for a train going into central london on a very very busy platform

Again on the train… towards the end of my rads my skin broke down and was really sore it was in May and we had had some warm weather, i used to struggle with the warmth especially with the flushes so i used sanitary towels against my skin on the area being treated,they seemed absorbent and soft…as i sat on the train home from central london, wondering why folk were staring, more so than normal as i had got used to that with my bald head, i then looked down and one of the sanitary towels had wormed its way above the neck line of my jumper and done a flip over and stuck to my neck!!!

r xx

ROTFLMAO…!!! I thought that was priceless!

Oh my goodness, its made me smile on this day when im dreading the chemo effect, how to cope witht he hair loss and i was just thinking on my head hadnt thought about “down there”!!!certaintly put a differnt angle on things so maybe should get that “done” too as a precaution!!! very intrigued re the scar though… Shar x:)

Comparing bald heads with a friend of mine while i was in hospital (he is naturally bald in case you were wondering), for some reason this was very funny & ended with us being ticked off by a nurse for making too much noise!!

Also, when my hair started to grow back, I got a luxuriant mat of pubic hair on my thighs - but none where it should be??! An interesting look…

Lastly, played the ‘bald’ card to great effect, whipping off my hat & watching peoples reactions…had several people trip over the curb. Kept me amused for hours!


Rhian and Kulakatz,

Thank you both sooooooooo much. Day 5 of my second FEC and its my down day from steroids etc. Also on antibiotics because of a bug going around. I actually signed on to moan… but laughed instead. Hope I will be able to add to the chuckles somewhere down the line.

HUGZ all round. Mim

He he he! How funny! Loved all your stories. Keep them coming!

I asked my friend if I could have a lift in her convertable around town. Of course we had the roof down and each time we stopped at the traffic lights I would do one of those Cat Deeley - loreal swishes with my baldy head just for a laugh. The looks on the people’s faces were priceless. I haven’t been able to turn heads for years… but I certainly can now! he he

Lotsa love, Lone x



if there is one bit of advice i would give, it is to LAUGH, when ever and where ever throughout chemo. funny films, funny stories anything, people seem scared to laugh with us when we are going through treatment but it is so so important , hang on in there :))) sending all you girls hugs and lots of laughter xxxx

Have been online today booking summer holiday to cheer us all up after I’ve finished treatment - haven’t been on family holiday since third child was 6 months old, she’s now almost 8, and 4th child has appeared since then…

So, booked us in a place in Brittany for a week, followed by the ‘big treat’ - 3 days at Euro Disney. My eldest (17) went a couple of years ago with his school and loved it, and was enthusing to me about it all today, finishing with ‘mum, it’s something you HAVE to experience before you die’.

A second later, the realisation of how inappropriate that was hit him… at about the same time as I doubled over laughing.

Same child, when small, threw a strop in a shop and declared loudly ‘I wish my REAL mum was still alive’. I made him promise, that if I should die before him, he will stand up and say that at my funeral… and sod the fact that no one else but me and him would ‘get’ the joke… aahh, sweet revenge.

Sophie xx

hi everyone

Ha ha Sophie aren,t kids great! Mind you - getting older doesn’t exempt you from coming out with some corkers.

I was walking along my street the other day and one of my elderly neighbours came out and shouted across the road to me ‘how you doin maria’, i replied ‘great thanks’ (as we all do) to which he replied ‘thank god for that. I can stop lighting candles for you now, it’s costing me a fortune!’ ha ha i,ve not laughed so much in ages. How sweet he was lighting candles for me anyway, i was quite bowled over

love Maria x

Terrific thread. The PC brigade would be horrified if it were anyone but us telling these cancer stories! (My littlest daughter (12 going on 21) said to me the other day, mid-hug, “Don’t worry mummy, I’ll still love you even when you’re fat and bald.” Didn’t know whether to strangle her or just hug her tighter. (S’pose I could’ve done both…)

Gday Guys! Am having a lovely time reading your stories and having a few giggles too. I was looking online for some jokes when I came across this old guy who talked about his chemo visits and how he would try to do something different each time to lighten the mood when he went in. He mentioned how he put a sign up on his drip stand which read ‘Viagra’, which made me laugh and then he went on to say something about labelling the chemo with things like different alcoholic drinks etc. I thought that was a good idea.

I reckon I might have tried something like that, but the good news is that I have just finished my last chemo!!! last week! But if I did have to have any more, I might consider a label saying some sort of super power (because of its toxic nature), or something like resistance is futile! Ok, I suppose I have been watching too many sci fy movies. What would you put on your label for a giggle?

Lotsa love & laughs,
Lone x

I haven’t had to face Chemo, but a great idea.

I’d probably have something like “Another one bites the dust!”


Lovely thread. Mazbaz, that really made me laugh! My daughters (15 and 12) delight daily in saying ‘ok mum, keep your hair on’ when I start nagging.

Keep em coming!


Nothing to do with cancer but a ‘hospital tale’

When my friend started as a nurse she did a stint in A&E.

One day a chap was admitted with a deodorant lid stuck up his bottom. The staff gave my friend the job of telling his wife, who had arrived from work, quite clearly upset that her husband was in hospital but not knowing why.

Not having much experience of this my friend decided to be forthright and upfront:

Nurse:“I’m afraid your husband has the lid of an aerosal can stuck inside his bottom” (she was probably a tad more technical but you get the point)

Wife: “Good God! How ON EARTH did he manage to swallow that!”


Oh lord! I am laughing out loud to that one its great.

I watched the Big c on channel 4 last night and must admit it was worth a watch. its repeated on more 4 on thursday i think.


When I was on chemo my grandson was a baby of about 5 months and his cousin was 3.One day the baby leaned over and grabbed my wig,which of course came off causing him some consternation…then his cousin shouted,‘Hey he’s broken Grandma!!!’


my little niece who is now 8 but was about 6 at the time asked me how come i was living with her grandparents (my parents) and proceeded to remind me that I didn’t used to after all she’d come to visit me at my hotel a few times (meaning the hospital)…

ahhh the innocence…

My pubic hair came out all in one go in the bath, it was floating along on the surface of the bubbles. The day my hair started coming out, I had to glue the rest of it on with hair lacquer as I had an oncology appointment in the afternoon. It starting coming out in clumps that evening when everybody on Eastenders started shouting at each other!

FEC made me fart atrociously, I went round Sainsbury’s in double quick time due to jet propulsion. It got to the stage that I felt I couldn’t go out and I was terrified of bending over. My OH was desperate to see Casino Royale over the Christmas holidays and when I said I didn’t feel I could go he retorted “oh for goodness sakes, just fart during the loud action bits”. Good job we are not embarrassed by bodily functions :-))