Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

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41

Glad you are enjoying the jokes and stories. I do think it helps if you can find something to make you smile when you are having a bad day.

I have done all of my chemo now and about to go down the surgery within the next couple of weeks and then radiotherapy route. I was thinking of getting the nurses something for looking after me, but wanted it to be different than the usual chocolates, biscuits or sweets. So, I came up with an idea of something that would remind them of me… some eggs! I know it might be a bit boring, but I was thinking that I am bald and so is an egg, I can be a bit fragile and so can an egg. Sometimes I just crack up, like an egg I have a hard outer shell, but inside I am soft and gooey like an egg. If you muck me about, I can become scrambled, like an egg.
But an egg can be really boring on it’s own… Maybe chocolate eggs would be better??? What do you think?

Lots of love to all of you out there,

Lone x

42

So, you will never guess what happened to me the other day? I was out watching my son’s footy training when one of the mum’s (a very posh one), came up to me with her classy pooch. I bent down to pat the dog, as you do, when… My nose dribbled! (You know what I mean, when you don’t have any nose hairs and your out in the cold and you get a sort of dewdrop forming on the end of your nose ?). Well, not only did it dribble, it reached all the way down to the dog!!! How embarrassing!!! I then spent the next five minutes apologising to the posh mum for snotting on her dog and chasing the dog trying to wipe the snot off… I wonder if she will ever come near me again? He he!

I haven’t been able to get on with false eyelashes… maybe I should stick them up my nose to avoid anymore snot dribbling incidents? What do you think?

Lotsa love and hugs out there for those who need them,

Lone xxx

43

This is not a cancer joke, but it did make me smile:

A husband tells his wife that he has invited a friend home for supper.

“What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn’t go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!” said the wife.

“I know all that” said the husband.

“Then why did you invite a friend for supper?” said the wife.

The husband looked at his wife and said “Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married”.

Don’t forget to post some stories or jokes that may help to make us smile?

Lotsa love

Lone xxxxx

44

Lone - lmao at the dog snot saga! I was driving my son to the ortho this morning when he burst out laughing ‘Mum, your nose just dripped onto the steering wheel’… damn, and I thought I’d been keeping on top of it! Having a cold doesn’t help, either… After he’d finished laughing (in horror I think) he thoughtfully declared that he would treat his nasal hair with more respect in future…

Sophie xx

45

Hee hee hee Sophie that was great!

I don’t know about you but I have found that when I am out I have to wipe/touch the end of my nose constantly, paranoid that there might be a ‘drip’ at the end of it. I reckon I must look like some sort of cocaine addict with all the sniffing etc. As if being bald, having skin that makes me look 90 and almost one boob wasn’t enough to get people staring at me?

I just can’t believe how quickly it can come out! I mean, I have never really won any races before, but my drip could run for England in the next olympics it is that fast! Sometimes I don’t even feel it until it is a large drop ready to launch itself at some poor unsuspecting posh dog! he he (from a previous story).

Lotsa love,

Lone xxx

46

Hi Guys! Well, I have finished all my chemo now and have had my surgery recently and shall be doing the Radiotherapy and Tamoxifen route.

I just wanted to thank you all for the stories and jokes you all posted that helped me get through some pretty tough days. I hope that some of you had a few laughs too.

Take care everyone and keep posting your stories and jokes.

Lotsa love,

Lone xxxxxxx
Ps: the white hair has turned grey!!! and I now have pubes and nose hairs, shame about the leg hair and facial hair that is growing back a bit too quickly!!! he he

47

G’day Guys!

It has been a while since I have been on this site. I thought I would have a look and see if there had been any other postings of funny stories or jokes, but there was none!!!

I think that with all the stuff that we have to go through with BC is like a rollercoaster ride. I found that having a laugh and sharing that with others, really helped me on my days when I was struggling. So, please join in if you wish to share a story that may bring a smile to someones face. Reading some of these jokes may help you realise that you are not the only one out there going through this stuff. I hope none of them offend anyone.

I have had my chemo and surgery and am now on hormone therapy and soon to have radiotherapy. So, I will be posting some of my shameless sense of humour on these topics too. I hope you will join me with a few stories of your own?

lotsa love

Lone xx

48

Not seen this before. One of my favourite jokes from long ago.

Girl goes to see Dr. He applies stethoscope and asks her to breath in and out. She give it her all.

‘my, what big breaths’

‘Yeath, and I’m only thixteen’.

49

I dont know any jokes but I have some funny stories about things that happened when I was going through treatment last year.

The first time I dropped my little boy at school after I had shaved off my hair I was running late. I ran past a group of friends standing chatting at the gates and I shouted “Im so late - I was doing my hair!!” I will never forget their faces!
After my lumpectomy I had a really nice pert boob and I can remember this really gorgeous young french doctor came in to examine me. I sat there on the hospital bed with this young man with my left boob in his hand speaking with a french accent thinking ‘make the most of this - it will never happen again’
When I went on to have a masectomy (unfortunately I had to say goodbye to my pert boob) I used to say to my husband “oh go on I’ll show you my tit!”
When I lost my eyelashes my friend whos a beautician said she would put some individual eyelashes on for me - she had never done it before so I was a bit of an experiment. It took ages and when she finished I looked in the mirror - there I was bald head with these massive eyelashes - I looked like a drag queen!! Anyway the bloomin things kept falling out and one morning my husband said "wow youve got a few hairs growing - turned out it was a clump of my falsies stuck to my head!!
We invited some friends round for a drink when I was going through chemo - anyway one of them raised his glass and said “Good Hea…” and stopped as he realised what he was saying. I cracked out laughing
Bless him he couldnt stop apologising but I thought it was hilarious.
Sometimes people couldnt understand my sense of humour but it has helped me and is still helping me get through this s**t.

50

ha!! love it lizzy! xxx

51

Great Lizzy. Lovely stories. My friend Mike Baker is running a blog on his website about his lung cancer - he has the worst set of doctor doctor jokes on there if anyone wants them - terrible but funny, you know the sort…“Doctor doctor, I feel like I’m turning into a wigwam”, “don’t worry its just because you are two tense”…
yup that IS how bad they are, but there are hundreds! bw Nicola

52

when leaving hospital after my mx a nurse told me to put a coat on cos it was “nippy” out. i said “are you taking the p*ss”? her face changed a bit, until i said its ok love, i might have lost a breast but i’ve not lost my sense of humour!!! x

53

Brilliant, just found this thread how funny, i dont have a joke but a true story from when i found out i had cancer in march.
My best friend who lives 80 miles away from me was diagnosed with cancer in dec last year and i was devastated, we’ve been friends since age 13, i was dreading telling her about me but after much psyching myself up i phoned her and told her.Her reply after the line going silent for a minute " you’ve just always gotta copy me havnt ya!" I laughed so much i was crying, it reminded me of why she is my best friend. She now gives me all her hints and tips including how to do a good comb over etc…

54

G’day Guys! I am loving your jokes and stories! It really helps to laugh about things. Here are a few about Radiotherapy:

So, I had a hard time with chemo, the surgery wasn’t a picnic either, so when I heard that I was having radioTHERAPY, I thought: finally, something that sounds relaxing! He he. But there was no radio! I was so dissappointed!

They told me that I would have to lay still and not move a muscle for 40 minutes. I was more concerned that I would have to keep my mouth shut for that long and not have anyone to chat with! he he

They said they had to take some images first before they started my treatment, but they would not listen when I told them, that I look better from the other side. he he

Of course, I have had my eighth session of rads and i’m getting into the swing of things of stripping off as quick as I can. When I told my husband how good I was at stripping, his eyes nearly popped out of his head! he he

Now it seems so unfair that the time when I meet the most gorgeous hot nurse, I am not looking my best at all, and am lop sided and sprawled out on the treatment bed. I still smiled whilst thinking I have no chance, and then giggled when he said he was just going to roll me over a bit. he he. I must admit I look out for him all the time now!

So, they have told me that I should stay out of the sunlight whilst undergoing treatment. No working on my summer tan then! So I jokingly asked the lady if she could zap the other side to even up the tan a bit. She just glared at me! I said oh well, I guess I will have to go for a moon tan this year (and stay white). She still glared at me. So I finally shut up for a whole 2 mins. he he

Since my surgery I have had a bit of lymphodema in my arm. The rads onc said that the radiotherapy would make my arm swell more. What I didn’t count on was that radiotherapy would help me to grow a new boob! I know, I couldn’t believe it either! But my swelling is going from my arm onto my chest and it is pretty much a b cup most days! where it should be flat as a pancake. I never expected that! he he. I’ve heard some radiotherapy treatment can make your genitals swell because of the concentration of lymph nodes in your groin, but don’t worry, I haven’t grown anything down there. he he.

Sorry about my weird sense of humour guys. I would blame the cancer but I am afraid I have always been like that.

Take care everyone. Keep those stories coming in. Even if they aren’t funny like mine. he he

Lotsa love

Lone xxxxx

55

Out one day and you how clumsy your fingers get on chemo… well I kept dropping my car keys and the lady behind the desk said to me “Awe you having a bad hair day love” … I just burst out laughing! and she couldn’t stop apologising - never gave me any discount though!

56

I’m in my upstairs office pottering around (got builders in finishing off my new kitchen and laying the floor today). Was just having a cuppa handed to me by OH when I read Lizzy P’s posting. The bit about the French doctor made me choke, couldn’t stop laughing :slight_smile:

Whatever your situation and however dire it is, having a really good laugh does the trick.

57

Saw my mate outside the Doctor’s today looking really worried.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“I’ve got the big C,” he said.

“What, cancer?”

“No, dyslexia.”

58

not so much a joke but somethink i just did

i was getting dresss added sume makeup ect whent to pick up me smellys and picked the hair brush up and went to brush my hair
im laughing me head off when me daughters ask wots funny and i tell them without thinking they said wots funny about that “take a look girls moms got no hair” "OH YER WE FORGOT " nice to know they dont see a change in me

59

Not strictly a ‘cancer’ joke, but it made me smile.

Question: “What is a waist?”

Answer: “The space between a woman’s breasts, and her other ‘interesting bits’”

Question: “So why is that a waist?”

Answer: “Because there is plenty of room there for another pair of breasts!”

60

he he he he. Keep those stories coming guys. Am loving all of them!