I am really struggling today & am wondering if anyone is there? I am just so broken by it all. I see that my family are too. I have had the hardest few years & am genuinely not sure if i can keep going. X
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Hi
I’ve not long been diagnosed and it is such a scary time so I really feel for you. Have you tried talking therapies? (you can refer yourself or the g.p.) It might just be good to talk to someone about your fears and anxiety and they can give some really good support and advice. I don’t know your situation but just know you are not alone and it’s an awful situation to be in but you can come through this. I can’t really give any good advice but we are here to listen and try to help where we can. I’m so sorry you are going through such a difficult time. X
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Thank you @philippa74 - that’s really kind. I am meant to be ‘on the other side’ but realise now that there is no going back.. and it hits me like a brick. How are you doing? X
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I’m ok thank you. Was a massive shock to get my diagnosis and im recovering from surgery as we speak. My results have shown cancer close to the margin and some cells in the lymph nodes, so I’ve got more surgery at the end of April. I’m obviously worried but I’m trying to be positive for my own sanity really. It’s not a journey I want to be on and I wish I could just get off but it is what it is and hopefully the doctors will sort me out. It’s a horrible time emotionally but I’m trying to be strong. Xxx
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I understand. The shock was insane for me too - came from no where & floored me in everyway. What surgery did you have? X
I had a lumpectomy and breast reduction and lift, to try and keep a good shape. They also took a couple of lymph nodes. Im still quite sore and feel awful because I am now very uneven and so im wearing baggy tshirts and so on. Doesn’t do much for the self confidence and now I’ve got to go through it all again, which is rubbish. Where are you on your journey? Has your treatment been successful? X
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I understand - I lost my whole breast sadly not long after my 39th birthday & am struggling with the loss of my body so much. They want me on ai’s for 10 years but I feel i cannot handle anymore. X
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Wow! I’m sure that was devastating. Is it the mental or physical that you feel you can’t handle? Or both? Do you have a good support network around you? X
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Both tbh, but the mental side more if i am honest- though the chemo has knocked me into the menopause and i ache and sweat and itch like i never knew possible. I have friends - but I think it is just so unrelatable for most of them & they all think it is over & people vanish. (I finished active treatment in november.)
How about you? X
I’m already going through menopause and the sweats are unreal, especially as I’ve had to stop taking my HRT. I also don’t sleep well at all and I’m exhausted. I’m a teacher but off work, as there is no way I can begin to put the time and effort needed for my job. I’ve got a lot of support from family and friends but they live a fair way away so I don’t see them as often as I’d like. My partner and son are my direct support and have been great but I keep a lot of my fears to myself. There will be so many people in our situations and many who will be a lot worse off but it really is difficult for anyone to understand if they haven’t walked in these shoes. I’m sure you are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for but sometimes it’s very difficult isn’t it x
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Have you tried accessing the Someone Like Me resources on the BCN website
There should be something to help you there. It is no fun being in this club, but there is help out there.
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Hi how are you feeling today?
Some days it is so very hard to stay positive and to stay motivated to live and try… I’m in a similar situation to you.. and i think the zoladex injections are not helping the mental health at all..
In my most difficult moments I always remember this one time when I was going through a hard time. Everything felt too much, and I really couldn’t cope anymore. I was talking to my mum and I told her that that’s it… I’m going to quit my job and not go to my exams cause i’m not ready and I don’t care what happens next. My mum said: “Show up anyway. Even if you’re scared and not ready, find courage to show up and see what happens. It may not be that bad after all. “ And so I showed up, and it was okay. And a week or so later my despair didn’t feel so desperate anymore.
I now use this to remind myself that whilst some days feel like I really don’t see the point in life anymore…. Other days I do feel love and happiness and many other feelings that are worth striving for. So I need to just ‘show up’ on the bad days and enjoy the good days when they come.
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@sbee sending you all the good vibes I can muster. I hate hearing you feeling this way but I do completely understand it. I have had moments where I just feel like I can’t do it any more. But for my husband, I would have chucked in the towel and asked them to send me to the knackers yard.
These are low points and they are crippling. I’d urge you to get in touch with your BCN to get referral for some talking therapy if you haven’t already. I think you could benefit from some exercises to help talk yourself down off the ceiling (or up from the floor) when you hit these crippling obstacles.
It is well documented that ending treatment isn’t the euphoric experience we imagine. That is when the real emotional lows can kick in. People think you’re better so they stop checking in. The care team disappear and you feel like you’ve been flung off a cliff. I remember it well from last time. I also think the idea of ‘someone like me’ is a brilliant one. I’d definitely recommend it. I’ve had a lovely lady supporting me throughout my cancer ride and it’s great to have her perspective. It’s free and it is quicker than therapy referral.
Meanwhile, know that people care on here. Take things one day at a time, one minute at a time if need be and find a mantra that you can chant when you feel an overwhelm coming on. My mantra is ‘breathe and believe’. You can use mine if you like. Just keep talking ok? You can do this. Sending love. xxx
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Thank you @Lizaki - i did try this in the past, but sadly there wasn’t anyone that had ibc which kinda made me feel more isolated. Maybe I can try again. X
I’m going to younger women together in person in London on 25th April. Perhaps i’ll meet you there?
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MacMillan Cancer has a room in our hospital in Ipswich, with paid staff and volunteers. They offer all sorts of help and counselling, for free I believe. See if you can get help from MacMillan.
I didn’t mean you should go to McMillan at Ipswich hospital, but find a McMillan near you. xx
Dear Slee, please dig deep and find the strength to get you through this. Many of us have felt this way but when you are so down, remember the only way is up. Support is always available and your doctor or,better still, a breast care nurse is the first step to getting away from these feelings. Please know that we have all been where you are now but we have made it through. Please, please ask for help from your medical team as a first step. Your family must also ask for help to be strong enough to support you through this. I found that always having something to look forward to helps - a weekend away, a nice dinner, cinema or theatre.
Please come back to me so that I know you are getting support. I send you much love and big hugs. GXxx
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I might check this out thanks for mentioning I meant to keep checking these x
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I was 39 too, I was diagnosed just after my birthday in October 2024. I have finished active treatment and then it really hit me I’ve never had any mental health issues before I was so proud of my health. I have been left with stomach issues, every time it flares up it was giving me anxiety and the pain lasted for 4 days exhausting me. I told my nurse and they referred me for therapy which has been amazing. I’ve now got the tools I needed and got proper checked out by a gastrologist as I was sure the chemo damaged things. Life’s getting better, I’m actually on holiday right now, the one we had to cancel we rebooked and I’ve had the courage to do it. Stomachs been iffy but I’m proud of myself for taking this step. We have to go live our lives but we just might need some help to get there xx
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