Thank you. Your blog and these posts spurred me to register and battle with the “I’m not a robot” test (which seemed far trickier than normal).
So many of the messages in this string resonate, particularly the comment on controlling who knows about my breast cancer.
With children in 2 separate schools, I have kept th information contained in one school but not in the other - and I know which one I feel more comfortable with.
I also work in a large organisation (where I have been for a long time) and I can feel my news spread between colleagues across geographies with each kind message I receive - extending further from my immediate team and city. Part of me fears that I won’t be able to walk into any of the offices without glances of pity - which are well-meaning but…
After a mastectomy and lymph clearance surgery last week, I get my pathology report tomorrow. I’m quite nervous now after making the error of looking up 5 year survival rates before I know my stage. Whatever the report, I know there will be a treatment plan in which I will be confident.
Good luck with all your treatments and recovery. Thank you for reminding me of some of the most positive and important things.
Hi Ladies
A big thank you to all of you who have read my first blog & commented kindly
If it has helped any of you to either put something into words or on paper or even to admit something to yourself I will feel very honoured
These forums are fantastically supportive. We are all at different ages & stages of life with different family makeup’s, but are here for each other. I do feel for those of you with younger children as they are so affected by peer pressure that in turn it puts additional stress on you at tricky times
Love to you all x
Sophie I hope your results are good news tomorrow - remember that appointment so well myself- we are all here, not because we want to be or choose to but whatever is thrown at us we are here to support and cheer with you. I hope you are having all by someone with you, I certainly don’t take in all the details and need Hubbie to go through with he good he’s and next steps. Please let us know how you get on.
Thinking of you, sending hugs Jem xx
Just have to say I loved reading your blog - especially the point about etiquette. Yes, i wasn’t sure how to approach this myself when you bump into someone and have to answer the “How are you?” query. I always felt that to answer with “apart from the breast cancer, I’m fine” probably sounded a bit flippant! However after losing most of my hair to chemo then just going for the shave it did give the game away a little.
I’m currently melting in my hospital room after a double mastectomy and implant reconstruction. Unfortunately my gene test results (brca2 positive) didn’t come through until the day after my lumpectomy ? so I was back into theatre yesterday.
All the the best with your chemo journey and I will echo what others have advised, just take it one day at a time. Yes, there will be rough days, it certainly affected me mentally and emotionally as well as physically but to steal a phrase I came across recently “if you can’t yet see the light at the end of the tunnel, you haven’t gone round the bend”. Interpret this as you will ?
Lovely to hear from you & I’m pleased it’s not just me who doesn’t really know how to respond to polite enquiries.
You’ve had a tough few weeks I had wondered if you’d made your decision - a tough & brave call for you. Hope you recover well as it is a big operation, will you need any other treatment? I’m not that knowledgeable on braca2+.
Mind you 3 months ago I wasn’t knowledgeable on anything breast cancer related - I’ve learnt so much, it’s like another little world
Thanks for the chemo tips, hopefully I can learn from everyone else’s experiences & take on board the tips to get through any side effects
I can only agree with you and all of your comments!
The responses, the etiquette, the smile and ‘I’m fine’, the look of pity. Not wanting to trivialise it but unable to explain it like it is!!
One thing I always say is that I don’t want to be defined by bc and I don’t want people discussing me!!!
There is very little you can control on this roller coaster journey of bc particularly at the beginning of the road. However I think that having a little bit choice in whom you confide in certainly helps - those you know who will give their love and support, unconditionally on the journey, are the people you need.
I also know that the support here is the best, no one else understands like someone who has been there, even if our journeys are different.
loving the blogs and reading how everyone is doing. I’m cheering you on from across the channel.
Good luck everyone with results, treatment and recovery. Do take care.
Rosie - great post, sums up how I feel.
Just last evening we were out for an extended family meal and met people we know in the restaurant -I was furious at a member of my family’s response to the inquisitiveness about me not being well- this is my body, I’m fighting and I’m don’t need well meaning busybodies. Tried to explain again to famiy that I need to be me and nit difined by this awful bc, but sometimes they just don’t get it- sorry rant over, just needed to get it off my chest.
Xx
Sophie
Sorry to hear your results weren’t as we hoped for yesterday. They thought I only had 1 small tumour but results from mx were multi focal too- after the shock of this I came to the conclusion at least they found it all, removed it and now chemo and rads to ensure the nasties remain away- it helps me to keep this in mind when I’m having a bad day from se of the chemo.
When is appt with oncologist ?
Take care and don’t dr Google multifocal - ask your team all the questions as they know your particular history.
Hugs xx
I’m sorry to hear that your results were not what you were hoping for, you have a lot to process before your next appointment
Hope you are coping ok & have good support from friends & family
Thinking of you x
Jem, I’m so sorry to hear about your unfeeling family member on what should have been a lovely evening out for you. It’s very thoughtless and so not necessary!! I would be mad too. You have a rant and moan!!! We all understand here. Keep your chin up and keep fighting. We are all willing you on.
I’m very sorry to hear your results were not as you hoped. It’s just the most difficult time and hard to concentrate on anything other than that.
It will get better when you know your treatment plan!! Keep visiting the forum and sharing your worries - when you need to. There’s always some lovely ladies around to listen.
Hi Ladies
I’m on a roll with this blogging malarkey - 2nd blog is really to help friends & family have an idea about side effects of chemo
Btw I’m starting chemo tomorrow
If you have a couple of spare minutes, please give it a read dancingwithchemo.wordpress.com/2018/07/28/limbering-up/
Thanks again for your support - it does mean a lot
Jane - glad you enjoyed the blogs, I’m finding that it’s an easy way to pass on information to friends & family rather than having to talk to them all on an individual basis - & also cathartic
Jem - so sorry you have had an hospital stay, tonsillitis is quite nasty, hope u continue to improve. Will it delay your next chemo?
My first chemo today went as well as can be expected, I just feel fuzzy around the edges. I’m sure the next couple of days will be different but 1 day at a time
Take care x
Hi Elaine
I’m going to be honest the first week of chemo was shocking - mega nauseous & vomiting, will need to ask if I can change my anti sickness meds for the next cycle I think - & so tired!
I do feel that we need to be careful to ourselves & start accepting what our diagnosis is / was & vocalising it where suitable otherwise we are almost dumbing down what is/has happened to us. However that’s easier said than done!
I’m pleased you are now moving forward with your radiotherapy, you now have an end date in sight. Let me know how it goes & any tips as I’ll probably be having mine late December/early jan
Booked the holiday today - having 10 days in Mexico starting 17th March, so something to look forward to during the rough weeks ahead
Take care
Jude x
I’m sorry to hear how you have been suffering with your SE’s - it must be quite debilitating and I hope you can get some medication that helps and suits you better for the next round. I don’t suppose the heat is helping much either…think we are all struggling ??!
I guess you are on one of the Chemo monthly threads and able to chat with the other ladies going through the same thing. I’m sure you have tremendous support there and everyone can comfort each other.
Thinking of you and wishing you well. A holiday is Mexico sounds just perfect for next March!!
Sending some gentle hugs and I look forward to reading your next blog post. Let us know here too!!
