Really feel upset today. Having first Herceptin today and chemo tomorrow and only a couple of people have text to wish me well. Do they not realise it’s just as important to feel supported now as it was during my diagnosis and surgery. I just feel so let down and hurt, am I expecting too much?
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Thanks hun. I am sitting here feeling so unloved and sad. People were great at start but I guess there bored now with me having cancer 
x
((((HUGS))))
Of course you’re not, you need as much support now as you did then!!! every step of the journey is a scary one and all texts,calls of support and love etc help you feel strong!!!
Hope it all goes ok, thinking of you xx
hubby and I were only talking about how people dont seem to care for long, last night!.. phone calls at start of it all and then… its ok youre all cured!!!
Thanks Lucy and Charlotte. And yes I think people think it’s business as usual and its very hurtful x
Hi SGL, (((((xxxxx))))))
Whenever i have scan results or start a new treatment, i send a text round to everyone with an update. I then get lots back. I think people just need a little nudge sometimes!!
Hugs,
Sadie Xx Xx
yes sometimes it seems that others dont care anymore but i suppose that life goes on for them while it seems that ours stands still and is all about treatments and cancer. I feel lonely sometimes when im down but at other times i make myself get up and go out for lunch or organise to meet up and chat about stuff other than how i am. But it can feel very hurtful when others just dont seem to think!
Hi SGL, I do exactly the same as Sadie. I then have a moment of “sod em if they don’t wish me well”, and then have my moment of stomping, crying and generally feeling miserable!!! Deep down I know that my family and friends care, but I also know that sometimes they’re human and don’t always do things as I would like them to!
Sending you a mahoosive hug, Simone xxx
Hi Stargazer
Sorry to hear you feeling so down, could you ring some of your close friends/family and tell them how you are feeling. Im sure they are not doing it on purpose and maybe just dont know what to say.
I hope you get the love and support you need from your nearest and dearest but we are all here for you.
Take care, and best of luck for tomorrow x
Hi SGL,
Hope by now you are home and that your first herceptin infusion was OK. Hope also that you are able to relax this evening and set it all aside until you have to go back tomorrow (so hopefully you won’t read this til then!). I can be very hard when those we think are closest us seem to let us down, and I do feel for you. So sending a cyber hug for now and another to keep for tomorrow as you go for your first chemo.
Also Ninja, a hug for you as you see your surgeon, hope it’s a useful and positive meeting after all you’ve had to put up with of late.
Let’s all link arms shall we - arms with scars, arms with hairless pits, arms with hairy pits, arms with lymphodema, arms at risk of lymphodema - and make a chain across the ether.
Take girl ladies, you will get through this.
Hi Star,
Hope all went well for you today.
Try not to be upset that people don’t remember where you are up to. They may have got on the train with you at the beginning but mostly they got off a few stops back and don’t know where you are. Your train is taking you on a long journey and mostly people can’t grasp the enormity of your treatment. Just remember that we have been there so we do know where you are and will travel with you.
Love and hugs,
E
I agree with Sadie unfortunately it is the be all and end all for us at this time but not for them so a quick update text just gives them a bit of nudge.
I am sure you aren’t unloved and that everyone loves you to bits.
((((((BIG HUG))))))
Jean x
I got daily emails from my friends when I was first diagnosed, this has now dwindled down to one a week from some and once a month from others.
I don’t feel like I have been abandoned - I am glad that people are getting on with their lives. I know that if I said I wasn’t coping or that I needed them, that they would be there for me.
SGL. You aren’t alone, and I blooming hate it, to the point of not telling people any more about my treatment.
I have a few lovely people in my life and I tell them. One lives in Spain, and his sister Norfolk ;o( I have my human puchbag of 22 years wed, and my daughters, the kids don’t know eveything tho.
On the phone to mother the other night. Told her I was having more surgery today. Not even a good luck!
I culled the nosey ones out of FB, and added the new friends from the closed group and feel quite happy with that.
The texts, messages and emails stopped quite quickly for me, and 7 months on and still no sign of finishing treatment I have learnt something valuable.
SGL,
I’m so sorry that you feel so down but I’ve had very much the same experience today… people who say they “care” and let them know how you get on; can’t be a***d to respond to texts that tell them how you are getting on! There’s a long story behind it but a certain pair are showing their true colours and one day the truth will out!
One thing these long cancer weeks are teaching me are that my circle of friends is changing, friends who are disappearing are replaced with new friends who have surpassed those who are heading for the hills!
As everyone before me has said, we are here for each other and boy does it help? I was asked today whether I wanted counselling - I said I have my bad days, where I stomp my feet, throw the toys out of the pram but then I get a lot of strength from coming here - so thank you all ladies!
A ((((xxx))))
Yes I so relate to this thread but how beautifully put Emmbee! I think it’s a case of unless you know you don’t know! that’s why the wonderful ladies on here get it! Big hugs and Rev I am with you on the chain lovely thought.
Good luck with it all and remember you are part of the Chain! X
I had lots of cards, flowers, chocolates and pressies when I was in hospital having my MX and lots of phone calls and texts, but when I really would have appreciated flowers (gosh I sound ungrateful!) and texts was during chemo - but they dwindled quite substantially. By the time I was having radiotherapy I went to the hospital every day on my own for 5 weeks and felt completely alone. Since finishing all my treatment and going back to work full time and seeing my friends a lot more, I have had a couple of friends say they thought I wanted to just get on with the chemo and not see them and didn’t want to keep asking how I was but they were always thinking of me … so maybe some of it was a lack of communication on my side.
I agree with supertrouper - my friends would have been there if I wasn’t coping.
Thanks for the support ladies. I know that most of my friends do care, but people can be very thoughtless at times and due to the fact I have had quite a rough time (7 operations) in just over a year and other problems. I am feeling pretty vulnerable at the moment hence the hospital organising counselling for me. I just can’t understand how friends can be there one minute then the next thing they seem to think your cured! I just want to be treated the way I treat others. I did get some lovely messages today, but also have been quite Hurt by soneones very selfish attitude but I will be ok, just having a bad monent.
SGL - Just wanted to send a (((((Big hug)))))
ive been very lucky and the majority of people in my life have been very supportive and so far have had countless texts/phonecalls/flowers etc but have had a couple of reactions/hurtful comments which i tend to just ignore.
Just focus on the folk that make you feel bit better thats what i say x