Feeling like a fraud!

I’m recently diagnosed after screening. Waiting for lumpectomy then radiation and hormone therapy and been told the tumour is small, 11mm and grade 2. I feel like a fraud though because I have no lumps or any symptoms that are normally talked about. Friends keep telling me of other individuals that at are so much worse than me and I now I feel like I’m wasting peoples time because there’s nothing much wrong with me in comparison to others!  I feel like I shouldn’t even bother talking to anyone about my fears because they’re not justified! Please help! Is there ANYONE that feels like me?

Hi Vonne, you are definitely NOT a fraud!  

Most of us don’t have any symptoms, often cannot feel any lump and are detected by screening.   Cancer can be such a silent disease. BC more often than not doesn’t make you feel unwell in the slightest.  I’ve had it twice now, and it is the treatment after all the cancer has been removed that has made me feel unwell, not the cancer itself.     Hopefully all you’ll need is radiotherapy and this will all be over with soon.   But you need and deserve the treatment and attention you’re getting right now.  You have just as much right to talk about your fears, and can hopefully also be grateful it has been found at an earlier stage than some. It doesn’t make it any less scary.   This isn’t a competition about who ‘has it worse’ than the next person.

 

big hugs

Flora xxx

My heart goes out to you Vonne?

i feel the same way eventhough my BC is different to yours. I have DCIS and was told i didn’t qualify for certain things because it was a pre cancer.

my tumour was estimated to be 7mm to 9mm  but post op it was 6.5mm. My surgeon said this was large. I had a mastectomy, i wasn’t offered a lumpectomy or WLE.

Like Flora said i didn’t have any symptoms or feel ill but now I’m 5 weeks post op and cannot stop crying?

Every one keeps  telling me how lucky i am, like i don’t have the right to be upset or apprehensive…

shut out your concerns her Vonne, im listening xx

Flora and Roxanne thanks so much, I really needed someone who could understand me so I appreciate your quick reply and reassurance. You are so right about the treatment making you feel unwell and not the cancer itself, I think that had been concerning me…how could I feel so normal and well just now only to have treatment that perhaps might make me feel unwell, sore, and not looking quite the same as before! That has been on my mind since I was diagnosed three weeks ago.
Because of friends reactions I’ve really played it down in my mind and felt I should dismiss what’s wrong as irrelevant. I guess most people like to compare worst case scenarios to those who are much better, they dont always realise how it makes that person feel. I am an extremely positive person and very grateful that they caught this so early through screening.  I’ve really denied I have this and that’s why peoples reactions started to make me feel low. Perhaps I really need to start being kinder to myself! X

 

 

Hi Yvonne just wanted to add mine was the same at 9mm. Turned out to be stage 2 er+. Had a lumpectomy and 2 nodes removed all clear. Just finished 15 rounds of radiotherapy. Let me say if so called friends are making light of your diagnosis then in my opinion they are not true friends. Mine were and still are so supportive and in addition to my family I don’t know how I would have got this far without their loving support. This site has been invaluable too. It’s great to come on here and 'vent! I would like to wish you all the very best for your treatment and recovery. Please do not feel that you are wasting anyone’s time especially on here. We are all in this together and we want to hear from each other xxxx

HI Vonne and Roxanne,

I completely identify with what you are going through. It has taken me a year to accept that no matter how insignificant I or anyone I tell think my cancer may be, it is still cancer and, as the other ladies have said, it can be the treatment and the emotional impact that may make you feel ill. Give yourself plenty of ‘me’ time and don’t rush into anything - it will all still be there for you when you are ready. Macmillan have some very good leaflets which can be downloaded, posted or picked up; especially about work (for employers as well as employees). I wish I had given my employer the employer’s leaflet but you don’t always think about these things when you first have a diagnosis. (My employer has been great by the way but as uninformed as I was).

Keep smiling,

Jak x

So glad you are feeling better Vonne! Enjoy the gifts of flowers and look forward to Summer when this will be over!! ??

Hiya, my diagnosis was very similar and in a strange way I feel lucky that it was found early. Most breast cancers are picked up via the screening process or so I believe.  I have learnt so much about BC and all the different types there are, I had no idea. I had my op in January and am now 11 sessions into my radiotherapy, 4 more to go! Two months into hormone treatment and I am getting on fine with both. People are strange sometimes when they are not or have not been in this situation. Good luck and there is lots of support on here!

Good morning Vonne. I hope you are feeling ok today. What sort of surgery ate you having? I had wire localisation and a sentinel node dye injection followed by a WLE to remove a 10mm tumour and 2 sentinel nodes. I went in as a day patient and was discharged that as me evening. As a minimum I would say wear something comfortable and easy to put back on after your op to go home in. In case you have to stay in take dressing gown, slippers wet wipes, hairbrush, toothbrush etc. Don’t forget your glasses if you wear them. I would add by the time my op came aroind I could not wait for them to knock me out and get rid of the damn thing!! I hope everything goes well for you and you have the best possible outcome. Please come back if you need to know anything else and you must let us know how you are because we really are all in this together xx

Good luck today Vonne we are all rooting for You. I’m sure everything will be ok. Come back and chat when you are ready. Just one more tip take the pain relief regularly to keep on top of it even if you don’t think you need them! Xx

Hi Vonne,

Hope all is well today, look after yourself. I find chocolate works best!

x Jak

Hi!
Was kept in hospital after the operation so am still here! I definitely no longer feel like a fraud!!! ?
Had an awful side effect of the op and woke from it in severe pain in another part of my body, I was in recovery for 5 hours! As a result I had many doses of morphine throughout the day and evening, but the plus side was no breast pain after surgery! ?
I’ll get out this morning as I’ve now ‘only’ (?) got post op breast pain and will see what surgeon says about it all.
Thanks for the good wishes, this forum and all of you feel like a friend at these times. X

Glad the op is behind you but sorry to hear of the complications!! Hope your pain is not too severe. Keep taking the tablets!!! Have they confirmed what they actually did yet? Have a nice rest when you do get home and don’t try to run before you can walk! Hope you have someone to run round after you a bit. Onwards and upwards from here. Keep in touch with us Vonne xx

 Remember chocolate Vonne! Hope you are being looked after. Take care xx Jak

Vonne -

Your last message hasn’t appeared on here yet!

I didn’t wash my hair for ages because I ended up back in hospital with an infection so I just piled it on top of my head and pretended I looked glamorous. When I eventually got home I used a jugand washed it over the bath with help from my husband.

Enjoy your egg I only have a twirl bar!

Jak x

Hi Vonne glad you are almost back with us!! Lol!! To answer your question about the hair washing malarkey I too had a plastic jug which I used over the sink or knowing down over the bath. Definitely no better front than when your hair is washed!!! I wish you a very speedy recovery and suggest you start the post op exercises as soon as you can…but take it gently at first. Best wishes to all on here this Easter ??

Seabreeze, I love you! ?
You sound as though you’ve had plenty of experience with cling film, perhaps you could write a ‘how-to’ book on how to keep clean with breast cancer!!!

I thought I knew better than you all so…
Sitting in a shallow bath (an ugly sight), I lent over a little sideways and tipped my head forwards into the water. Feeling very proud of myself for not getting the whole of my Right arm/breast wet, I jiggled my head around…and fell in!!!
Somehow I got the whole of my Right side wet, except for my arm pit and breast! How that’s even possible is beyond me!!! !!! I now have bruises on my left side! Why I didn’t try the jugs and cling film are beyond me…cling film would have been the obvious one!!! ?

Brilliant idea about washing before the dressing is changed, I’d never have thought of the either! I just feel sorry for the poor nurse changing under an arm pit which has had no deodorant for so long! ?

Alibobs, physio? I’m doing gymnastics in the bath, what more’s needed!!! ???
Xxx

Vonne ??? you are so funny. Seriously though hope you are ok after your bath mishap!! I seem to remember the dressings they used after my op were quite waterproof and they said I could shower as soon as i felt up to it. I remember standing with my back to the shower so I didn’t get the full force of it on my op sites. Hope you feel better anyway just for getting washed!!! The exercises were the ones in the leaflet they gave me. Best start them asap so you don’t get lymphedema etc. I still go them occasionally as they help during radiotherapy and after too. Hope you continue to recover well. Make sure you don’t overdo things the first few days xxx

Hi Vonne

 

Just wanted to send you a hug. I had surgery on 27th Feb, WLE and SLNB, so a little ahead of you time wise. I was also very surprised at the size of the incision, but just as all the other wonderful ladies on here have said, they do fade. I took photos of mine as a record and especially the last couple of weeks, it has really looked ok! You are bound to be swollen for a while.

 

I felt really tired for a good 3 weeks.

 

I was fine for the weeks after surgery but then had a meltdown last week, you are not alone in this.

 

Hope you are feeling better today, try and get outside and enjoy the fresh air, feel the sun on your face and know we are all here for you!

 

Lots of love ? 

Jo xx

 

 

 

 

Hi Vonne,

Good to see you. Just wanted to say, I too am a very positive person, interestingly enough I would say I feel a different person since my diagnosis. Couldn’t tell you why but just feel different. Not in a negative way but just different. 

So these experiences in our lives affect us in different ways. I was being so matter of fact about it and because I was diagnosed on the Thursday and had my surgery the following Tuesday, I didn’t have much time to think about it. It wasn’t until a good 3 weeks later It dawned on me that this was quite a major thing! 

You are not a fraud!

I start my rads next Thursday, so pleased to have a date, it is frustrating not being given definite dates.

We are all here for you ?

Jo