It’s so good to know I’m not the only one who’s struggling with not feeling able to go to work - there are some amazing people who just seem to sail through but I imagine it hits them in the end? I’m so lucky that I don’t need any prosthetics and feel that some people think I should recover quickly because of that. When I’m told how well I look I feel like asking if they want to see my scar!! I find myself reminding them of all the trauma I’ve been through and that makes me feel a bit pathetic. I think people also forget that we still have to cope with other issues in our lives too alongside the cancer.
I keep myself going by taking a day at a time and trying not to dwell on the bad things. My family are brilliant.
I’ve just rejoined a knitting for charity group (Loving Hands if anyone’s interested) so that I’ve got something to occupy myself with now Christmas knitting is over.
I am so glad I have seen this thread. I was diagnosed with high grade DCIS at the beginn8ng of September after only being back in work as a teacher in an SEN school for 2 days. I haven’t been in since and they have been fantastic. I had 2 ops and 15 shots of radiotherapy. Now after finishing my treatment last week and feeling great about It i feel like i have now crashed!! Not physically as I am ok physically but mentally! What am I supposed to do now? Do I carry on as if nothing has happened? That is what I want to do really but it is also what everyone else is expecting me to do! I got upset this morning and said to my hubby I want to feel normal again but at the same time i want people to consider what the last 4 months have been about and look after me! His response was we have to.move on and look forward. He is an absolutely lovely husband but that response just sums up other peoples lack of understanding i think. I want to move on but i’m scared to - just incase!! Does anyone else feel like this?
I think only folk who have been through it understand the magnitude and depth of what we have all been through- and how, just because active treatment is finished, it is not over, and possibly never will be.
My my boss has been brilliant and I had a four week phased return and am now using up holiday and having a day per week off. It is good to be back but I certainly don’t have the same passion for work yet. Luckily I think I can function well enough on three cylinders rather than my pre-BC four but will see how it goes. I guess with your job that is not possible but maybe phased return would help? We are all classed as disabled under the Equalities Act so your employer should make reasonable adjustment. Hope all goes well.
Hi Ali,
I feel just like you and I’m on the same diagnosis and time line. All the way through I thought I’ll be fine I can go back to my old self when this is over but NO its hit me like a ton of bricks and I’m no where near who I was.
I’ve finally given in and I’m inquiring about some specialist cancer councilling as I can’t go on like this.
My school have been fantastic and very supportive they have involved Occupational Health team ( who I found very blunt) I’m going back on a phased return. I fact I’ve got to dash off now as I’ve got a meeting with my boss in a bit.
This site is fantastic for support and u couldn’t of got through without it. Sending you much love Clair xxx
Ali I hope you go on to feel stronger - have you got hormone tablets? If so are they helping or hindering your return to work? I’m worried before I’ve even started taking them because, as you all say, people think we’re fixed once rads are finished.I’ve already had a message from colleague saying they’re looking forward to me being back after rads.
At what stage do Education Occupational Health get involved these days? My last intervention from them was 20 years ago when I had a hysterectomy followed by the onset of what seems to be life-long depression and anxiety - under control with meds. I imagine I will have a phased return to work - I did last year when my dad died (which brought on a serious dip).
Is anyone else caught in the age trap where if we had been born a couple of years earlier we would now be retired? Not that I was ready to retire at 60 but at least I would have had the choice at this point.
Hi,
I went for my return to work meeting today and I’m going back tomorrow!! I am glad but a bit worried as well. It’s been more emotional than I thought as it’s a firm sign that things are moving on.
My work place pays for Occupational health so they were involved from the 1st op and there on in. I’m on a 5 week phased return that can be negotiated.
Ive been on tamoxifen since September and haven’t had any problems a few hot flushes at night but nothing I can’t manage. Xx
Hi Jak, no I am not on any tablets so just have my own emotions to blame. I am 49 and 5 years post menopausal. I have had the roller coaster of perimenopause and ‘the change’ since I had twins at 38 (I had had my first child a year earlier at 37!). I will probably be able to retire when I am 70!
I think what this forum gives me is a place to say all the things that I want to say but not to anyone I know. So 8n that way it is like counselling!
Claire good luck in work tomorrow - I cannot wait to sit in the staffroom with coffee and cake talking politics and TV etc etc etc.
I have a slightly sore boob with some shooting pains but nothing much else physical. I am still nodding off on the settee in the afternoon too - I feel that is a real treat! Thank you everyone for listening, responding and sharing xc
I’m jumping about on threads today and not even started radiotherapy, but the feelings you have all expressed ring so true with me.
it seems that quite a few of us work in schools - I trained as a Nursery Nurse and have been in the same setting for 20 years now, for the last 4 years I have had a more office based role, liaising with families and pupils with a wide variety of issues, including safeguarding. I feel very much that as I’m struggling with my own emotional issues I’m not in the right frame to return to work to deal with the emotional needs of others.
My boss informed occupational health as soon as I had my diagnosis, although I worked until just before surgery. I had a telephone interview with them as couldn’t attend in person as it was two days after my operation. It was a bit of a waste of time as obviously didn’t have a treatment plan in place, but it was agreed that I would go back on a phased return over 4-6 weeks.
It makes me feel a bit better reading on here that I’m not alone in feeling as I do.
Re the whole moving on thing - I’ve struggled these last few days (after finishing rads) with all sorts of random thoughts and emotions. Then I remembered i’d found an artlcle about it and read it last night in the early hours. We must remember to give ourselves permission to feel the way we do.
Not sure where I originally got it - may have been on this site?
After the Treatment Finishes - Then What?
This is the link for the one I had but I think there may be another fuller verion if you google it. Not sure how to attach a link so here goes!
Jane - I’m jumping about threads too! Part of my job is to work with children with emotional difficulties so I agree with you that we are not in the relevant state of mind to do our jobs properly. I haven’t got a problem with people at school thinking I should be there; I’m just paranoid!!
I’m much more positive today thanks and I see your appointment went well so alls good with the world even been outside gardening today. I love gardening in the cold so it us official I am mad!
I had a tearful conversation with my head teacher yesterday I’m lucky she is like a friend as well as boss very understanding. I even suggested starting my phased return 18th onwards when sick note runs out. Time will tell. There’s a lot of changes and work hurdles that have gone on so will be taking it as easy as I can.
Yes i do Ali. Everyone says im strong but i feel very tearful since yesterday and angry. Luckily I’ve got great friends and clients but my husband who is normally great is moody or not really understanding and expectations are too highx
I haven’t posted on her for a while but I always check out other ladies’ posts. I had lumpectomy in June followed by chemotherapy and am now having radiotherapy to be followed by hormone treatment as I’m HER2 positive. Also Herceptin injections until September.
I thought I would be jumping for joy when the chemo finished but I’m not. I’m not quite sure how I feel but I’m quite anxious about ‘getting back to normal’. Friends are already asking me about when I plan to go back to work and I haven’t finished all the rads yet! I feel my confidence has gone and the thought of work (I teach) fills me with dread.
I’m planning to do a Moving Forward course - has anybody done one or is thinking of doing one? Also how much time after treatment are you ladies thinking of taking before going back to work?
I will have finished rads next Tuesday and will then start Anastrozole. I didn’t need chemo. At the moment I am considering a phased return 6 weeks after rads. Going by other peoples reaction after rads have finished I think there may be more tiredness to come plus any side effects from Anastrozole. Hope that helps? Everyone’s advice on here is always don’t rush things and give yourself a break. I feel so guilty about work but they would rather have me back feeling fit so I have put that guilt in a box and tried to relax a bit.
I’ve started back at work this week. I don’t work in education, but in social care, so linked to the local authority. I asked for an occupational health referral early on in the process. I returned to work this week as part of a phased return over 4 weeks. My local authority will support for 4 weeks with a phased return. However, I can use leave also. I was signed back from the end of December and have used leave until this week and will use some more after the four weeks, so that I can work part time until the end of March, in the hope I will be fit then for full time.
I started Anastrazole just before rads, which finished in November. I think the treatments hit us in so many different ways. My skin held up beautifully, but I’ve been hit by fatigue and was shocked to get my 2nd menopause! I have had auricular acupuncture, which has been brilliant for flushes and I’m doing a fatigue course at the local gym. I felt quite nauseous to start with on anastrazole but that did pass in a couple of weeks.
Anyway, I’m waffling on but would echo not to push yourself. I have found my 9 hours this week exhausting and it shocked me quite how exhausting. As I’ve said on another thread, I feel like I’m outside looking in most of the time but am starting to have glimpses of the old me. This forum is my safe space to put away the brave face!
From my own experience I can safely say I pushed myself far to hard and didn’t really follow advice given because I was desperate to get some normality back in my life. What I’ve learnt is my life is different now and I have to adjust to it. The way I feel and think has changed and how some people see me has changed too.
But I’m learning to see the good and finally give myself time and permission to heal emotionally as well as physically xx
It’s all you can do really xxx
even been outside gardening today. I love gardening in the cold so it us official I am mad!