Hi mi85vette thank you for your words I’m so glad your at a point where you feel great and confident in your life. I can understand what your saying however I’m not there yet.
I was diagnosed in July last year and before that day I was the one in the family who helped solved everyones problems and made everything ok I was a confident person who was in control. Then all of a sudden I wasn’t I had to put my life in someone else’s hands. I watched my husband’s face drop as the consultant told us what was going to happen I watched him try to be strong and pretend I didn’t hear him crying in a locked bathroom because he wanted to be strong for me. I’ve watched my children and family worry when I had my tests, operations and go through radiotherapy treatment I saw the relief when I came home and told them I’d be ok.
My experience is my own just like everyone else. I know I’ll become strong and in control again but I’ll always have the underlying feeling that it can change at any time. So for now I’m going to let myself heal in my own time.
I also thank everyone who has supported me during this experience has taught me such a lot. Lv Clair x
My BC nurse warned me my head would catch up after active treatment finishes and she was right. The hormone tablets add to the emotional mix. I don’t feel stronger but I’m glad I’ve survived. The physical scars aren’t a problem but the emotional ones are. I had endometrial cancer 5 years ago and had a total hysterectomy. Having been told this would hugely reduce my risk of breast cancer, I felt very blasé about my routine mammograms and horrifically shocked when I was diagnosed with BC last Summer. I find it very difficult to think I’m not going to get hit again. The emotional scars for my family and friends going through this with me twice has been hard to watch. Like you Clair, I’ve always been the strong one and I’m definitely still waiting for the old me to come back fully. I did manage to put my life back together last time and regain my positivity, but this time I think it may take a little longer. Thank goodness for this forum! Xxx
Hi Ladies,
Back to feeling lost today. Having felt so positive in the week I feel as though I’ve gone backwards, So tired and emotional, I know it’s the end of rads and that is probably the cause but knowing doesn’t help. What does help is being able to express how I’m feeling on here. My family are brilliant but you all understand the frustration of the ‘roller coaster’.
x Jak
That’s what I love about this site we all understand what we’re going through and that there’s always someone there to just listen, support and give advice regardless of what stage we’re at.
Love and hugs to you all xxxxx
This is such a roller coaster - I’m in floods of tears again today and can’t decide which of many things is the cause. I suppose it dpesn’t matter really I’m just glad I can write it on here and know you ladies will understand. I’ve been taking Anastrozole for 3 days now so I can’t believe it’s the cause. XJak
Thank you Ladies,
My husband came home for a cuddle so that cheered me up a bit. He’s gone back to work now x Jak
Oh the relief of a good blub! I just wish it hadn’t been on the phone to my boss! Very tearful today, even though I had such a lovely day on Wednesday. I am questioning if I was fit to go back. Seem unable to manage my own mental health, so not sure how I would assess anyone else’s! Hugs Jak and let’s hope for a dry Saturday. Marydan you are still pretty amazing! Xx
Jak, I still have days when I just break down in tears for no reason I’ve warned everyone I know that it might happen.
But it’s official crying is good for your health xx I did some Thrive training today at school and the trainer said we should take time to cry as it releases the bad chemicals in our bodies.
She even has a certain cd in her car for journeys home after a tough day!
Sending you a hug much love Clair xxx
Things seem to come out of nowhere or its not till youre with others that you are how you’ve changed.I’ve taken on a fairly demanding part in a play and wonder if it’s too soon but also afraid that if I don’t try, I’ll never get back on stage.Drama is a huge part of my and most of my friends lives.However, post chemo brain means I have difficulty following and understanding instructions…director who’s a friend didn’t realise what that really meant until I couldn’t follow some quite simple direction the other night.Also I find it hard lately to just banter with people…does anyone else find that? My mind drifts off…can’t concentrate and everything seems so trivial.I find I feel more “odd” in places I used to be a lot…kind of sad I guess and they remind me of the past and what’s lost and what’s changed.I know others…even my friends…without cancer can’t really get it.
Morning ladies,
Hope you are all OK today? I’m so relieved to tell you that my GP isn’t changing my antidepressant. Between us we could find no contraindications between Anastrozole and Fluoxetine. One less thing to worry about! x Jak
That is good news, you definitely don’t want to mess with more tablets! Today a better day than expected for me mood wise! Hope everyone else is ok x
Hello ladies have been reading this thread although of course it was written by you all a while ago. I am awaiting a mastectomy and diep flap reconstruction at the moment for DCIS. Hopefully only treatment but of course I don’t know. Despite having a happy family life I am by nature a person who suffers with low self esteem from time to time. I am already feeling many elements of the feelings you describe. My husband is irritated with me because he strongly feels I should be making the most of socialising prior to my Op but all I want to do is stay at home with my cats. Work is an effort and I can’t deal with people’s kindness anymore than I could deal with them being dismissive to what I am facing. I have to believe I will get back to something like normal. You all have my total understanding of what you are feeling or have felt before during and after treatment. I was wondering, especially as this post is older, how all you ladies are coping now. I sincerely hope life is a little better. Much love x