First FEC 2nd October

Public Archive
241

Cazz…ask your BCN about the prostheis. They were the ones that arranged it for me. I tried a few different ones, and when the fitter was finally happy with out selction she sent me home with it in. The jellyfish is back in today, and I must say it is comfortable the more I get used to it.

The real Pheebster the Weimaraner (my namesake) is recovering - thanks everyone for your well wishes. Other than some bleeding which has now stopped she seems happier today, even though she is dressed in my daughter’s old Jamaica Tee Shirt to stop her licking the wound!!! Bloody mad house this!

Well, hardened wino that I am, woke up without any hangover today, though I could do with a couple hours more sleep. Does anyone else find they have begun to suffer from hearburn since chemo kicked off? When I drink a hot drink I feel like it is burning me as it goes down…weird feeling.

Thinking of you today Cat and wondering about those bloods…do you think they will offer you some blood if they don’t correct themselves over the next few days?

Hope the CT goes well on Monday Cazz…don’t forget to trake a drop of ribena to put in the concoction they give you to drink. And tato, how you feeling oday, mate? Ostrich - good luck for next week.

Well I’m going to say “have a good week everyone”. I’ve got shed loads to do today to get ready to leave out for Devon tomorrow, so just incase I don’t have time to check in later, I’ll honestly be thinking of you all - [imagine how much catch-up I will have when I come back next week].

Take care of yourselves everyone - I’ll miss you all - stay strong and positive:)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

242

Think we overlapped with our postings Bella - shame about the hangover - red wine does my head big time.

On a positive note good news about the lady garden…haha…no more waxing for a couple of months!!

243

Hi Pheebster - enjoy your holiday

Hope your counts bounce right back up soon Cat

Good luck for your scan Monday Cazz

Well done on sorting the hair Lorna - still putting it off here but scalp is so sore might have to just do it as can’t bear touching my hair. It is falling out quickly and well, especially if I wash it but hoping the discomfort will stop once it’s all gone.

Keep fancying some decent wine but all the posts about hangovers putting me off a bit!

Have a good day everyone - Tanya x

244

Morning Ladies,

Thanks Tanya… I too had the sore scalp… still is sore… and still losing the little hair I do have left… which is quite annoying as it’s itchy like I’ve just had hair cut!

Must have got cold in the night… with lack of hair… as when I took temp this AM it was 34.5c! have had hat on since getting up…

Ordered another short wig from USA and a “Bangs”

Did drink a whole bottle of red myself last night… to help with the Buzzing experience! shed a few tears and collapsed into bed… no major hangover… so pretty much back to the old me… until I look in a mirror!

Hope everyone has a good day

Lorna x

245

Hi girls, a sleepy headachy hello from oxford… still ok-ish after 2nd FEC yesterday, not sick but feeling so rough, cant do anything, cant sleep, cant read, cant watch tv… shaved my head finally, and yes, Lorna, a liberating experience in a way…look a bit miserable and my son finds it funny - at least my new wig is quite nice… Bella, yes, shedding down below should be one perk of this bloody thing!

Cat, very worried about you honey, what did they tell, when they can do your next cycle? did you ask for an injection to boost your WCC? I had my second one today, after FEC, Neulasta - ask them about it.
Good luck for scan Cazz, and be well everybody,
love Tato

246

Hi again.

Hope you pick up soon Tato… and well done for doing the big shave… I have gone from GI Jane to Kojak today… not quite smooth as a babies bum… but shows my fake tanned face off well! think I will fake tan the head when it settles from the shock!

Cat How are you?

L x

247

Hello Cat, Bella, Tato, Pheebster, Ostrich and everyone. I have been following your thread with interest as I am ‘looking forward’ to my second FEC on Wednesday. Yesterday, day 14 from first chemo, suddenly aware of tender itchy scalp - suppose that means the old barnet’s on it’s way out? Rushed out with my daughter this morning to buy selection of hats. Lorna, I have also ordered some ‘bangs’ from the US. Looking forward to getting them - might make those hats look less weird. It’s always been a family joke what a funny shaped long narrow head I’ve got - and now everyone’s going to see it in all it’s glory.

Bella - isn’t it a pain about the wine headache? Just when you could really do with a drink to get you through the misery and help you sleep - you bloody can’t. I, too, would wake up in the small hours with the most awful sinus-y headache that no nurofen or sinutab could shift. Feel more sorry for myself for doing without wine than for doing without my left boob!

Ostrich - what has happened about your seroma? My plastic surgeon drained one on my back three times but it keeps on coming back. (Who was it said it’s like a little water bed?) Any idea how long it takes before,as promised, the body 'just reabsorbs it?

Best wished to you all with your treatment.
Liz

248

Hi everone

Checking in once a day means a lot of reading! I’m not sure how you are going to manage Pheebster when you come back from Devon - you’ll have to sit down with your favorite tipple for some time and digest what has been going on in this wonderful chemo world. As to Heartburn I had a dreadful bout day 5 and put it down to drinking diet Coke and pizza! Indigestion as well so have stayed clear of coke since. Sticking to tea, fruit juice, sparkling water and the occasional glass of wine now I don’t feel so whacked out. Have a good holiday Pheebster.

Not sure who it was talking of necrosis. My wound is healing well apart from seroma. But I do know what necrosis is like from wound my late husband had after surgery on his legs and ulcers he had, the smell when changing the dressings. This disease and treatment has meant I thought about my late OH a lot recently as he spent much time in hospital and nursing homes in the years before he died. Today is the 5th anniversary of his death. I miss him. With his health problems he would not have been able to help me through this practically but he would have been there to give me support and try to make me laugh. Not sure how he would have taken the mx - he was a boob man! Excuse the the reflections, but I hope you understand, not really possible to share such things with sons and you are a great crowd.

Best Wishes
Hannah

249

Hi everyone,
Pheebster, hope you have agreat holiday! and hope that the other ‘Phhebster’ stays well. I too have had a bit of heartburn which BCN did warn me about.
Cat hope everything ok with you, have been thinking about you today and hoping that all is well. I’ve had a short day today, didn’t get up til lunchtime, was shattered so went back to bed once kids off to school and slept right through. Must have needed it. Made a lovely apple pie this afternoon and OH and kids said it was delicious so think may start spending my time a little more constructively now. Daytime TV not doing it for me anymore. ha ha.
Thanks everyone for the good wishes for Monday. Hannah, am sorry this is a bit of a sad time for you and feel honoured you can share with us so don’t feel you have to apologise for it. What are friends for eh!

Take care all
love caz x

250

Hi guys - just a quickie. My Internet connection is stuffed and I’m jumping on with a 3G card that is rubbish, taken a week to get on here, so will catch up with all the posts tomorrow when hopefully our server is back up and running. Had bloods done again today but the neutrophils were too low for chemo :-(, so a week behind on that. Feeling a bit depressed about it, to be honest. I have my acupuncturist coming for a home visit tomorrow so hope this will help sort out the wbc and neutrophils (keep wanting to call them neutrogena but that’s so wrong).

Hope you’re all OK, sorry I haven’t caught up with you all individually.

Love,

Cat xx

251

Evening girls,

I’m still struggling with who everyone is and what they have been up to and dont want to do an enormous Ostrich post so will be brief. Must sit down and read the entire thread slowly!

Pheebster - enjoy Devon!

Bella - hope you’re over your hangover - I can’t touch red wine! A bottle of white and I’m fine the next day (hardened alcy (sp?) me).

Lorna and Liz, hope you get on with the bangs, I have ordered one so will be interested to know how it feels with just a fringe. Have also ordered a sleep cap as a friend told me how cold she got in the night and its going to be a cold winter without hair!

Lorna, have you thought about dying your scalp a brown or hair colour instead of fake tan? You might just look ok? LOL!

Liz, my seroma is still there as are my squishy bits (surgeon’s term for my clots) and have been told by various people it can take a couple of months. Its horrid that my back has waves!!

Hannah, so sorry for the loss of your OH at this difficult time for you, 5 years isn’t that long when you loose someone you love, x I don’t think I have necrosis, certainly not big time, as I don’t think my back smells (though I can’t get my nose to it) its just a hint of I think/slow healing. I am going to have a nice scar with a straight line, big messy bit and then straight line! My OH is a boob man and I really worry about my new boob but he thinks it looks great or will do when I have a nipple!

Caz, my good luck thoughts to you too for Monday and I hope you are a bit more awake now (just in time for bed!)

Cat, fingers crossed for you with your neutrophils. What are they?

I have had a fairly quiet day, spent the day working out what to pay off with my critical illness payout (debts bigger than payout but the biggest part will be paid off so some peace of mind) and how to (the money market is a minefield!). My back has felt very weird today, like something is wriggling about under my skin around and under the scar. I have rushed to check several times that there is not a huge gaping hole there but there isn’t so hopefully just healing and waves! Very tight under my arm and down my arm and have less movement today than yesterday so am trying the massage suggested as getting a bit panicky about lack of return to full movement now.

On a lighter note, my 10 year old made me a card tonight for starting chemo next week. It was lovely and she spelt it “kimo” so that’s how I am going to spell it from now on!!

Goodnight all, hope I didn’t forget anyone, xxx

252

Still a long post, got to get shorter, waffle too much!

253

Hi Ostrich,
i love your posts!! Don’t change them.
Am wide awake unfortunately am going to try and sleep tho as don’t want to get in pattern of odd sleep. That doesn’t sound quite right! should it be odd sleep pattern? That does sound better! How lovely of your daughter to make a card and kimo doesn’t look quite as sinister - think I might adopt that too!
Night all
caz x

254

Morning all,

Sorry don’t have time at the mo to talk to all of you but just wanted to say I’m thinking of you Hannah and Cat.

Cat - try not to let it get you down, easy to say I know as I haven’t been there yet. I suppose it can only be for the best, they obviously can’t give you no. 2 while your count is low - goodness knows what damage it’d do. Allow yourself a ‘week off’ and try to enjoy yourself. Will catch up with you later.

Hannah - thinking of you also at this sad time. As the others have said, please do continue to share your thoughts with us and we’ll do our best to support you. Sending you a virtual hug and hope you feel you can cry on our shoulders any time you like.

Bella x

P.S. I’m binnning the wine. Sad, but it’s the only way I think.

255

Morning Ladies!

And welcome Lizbou… I have my 2nd FEC on Wednesday too.

Hannah a hard time for you I hope today’s a brighter day.

Ostrich… LOL I like the idea of boot polishing my head :o) ventured out on school run this morning “Naked” …well Headband and floppy beanie on… weird but another one of those “not as bad as I thought” moments… and off out into town later for Wigs first outing…

Cat I hope you are back online… and hope the acupuncturist does the trick today.

Hope everyone else has a good Friday

L x

256

Morning everyone. Was up at 6.00 this morning so have a little time on my hands while OH is in the bath to check how everyone is.

Hannah - a very moving post, glad you could share that with us. I know the feeling having a boob-man as your partner…my poor bugger doesn’t know what to do with his right hand now…bless!!!

Had a crap day yesterday. Mood swings that seemed to come from nowhere, tears and tired as hell. Am trying to stay on top for sake of my daughter, as she is excited to be going away, and feeling brighter today.

Sorry to hear you’ve been put back a week Cat. One thing I was warned about by work colleagues was NOT to expect our kimo to go to plan - it rarely does.

Ostrich - love your 10 year old’s spelling…I think we should use that from now on.

Wont bother to say my good-bye’s again just to let you know I’ll be rooting for you all xx

Stay strong girls xxxxx

257

Well I expect I am too late to wish Pheebster a wonderful holiday hope she is there by now and enjoying herself!!!

Cat hope that your next bloods are on the sunnier side!!! I have just been told by hospital mine are low should be getting my 2nd fec today fingers crossed on the blood test when I get there.

Been feeling pants most of the week after I popped into work to say hi to the guys and been paying for it since…too much to soon. Most of my fuzzy hair has fallen now and wondering if head painting is IN VOUGUE??? That could be quite fun…different image every day!! Had a bit of a wail today been feeling really down in the dumpsters, made me feel a bit better.

Ostrich - how strange a friend of mine sent me a card this week with this spelling - I too thought what a great way to spell it… sounds much less serious… KIMO sounds like a name you would give a cute and cuddley (not that Chemo would ever be that…)

Hi Lizbou and welcome…

Hannah - if you want to reflect - go ahead girl!!! It’s good to look back on the good times!

Must dash now got to tart myself up for my date with the KIMO kid - might even wear my wig in the big wide world for 1st time.

Love to you all

258

Hi Everyone

Thanks for your wonderful support - Virtual Hugs to you all.

Having a lazy day today. My son has gone back to work after a week or so off sick and it is such a relief to know that he is back earning and I trust will continue so, so that he can slowly get on top of the financial mess he got himself in. I’ve told him one of the best things he can do for me at the moment is keep going to work and earning so that he doesn’t get in anymore debt!

Anyone else having difficulty eating? My mouth has been sore but it is easing a bit, but throat hurts when I swallow.
Going to cook some cauliflower cheese for lunch - indulge myself in something I fancy, then have a good read and possibly try to do some lace making - my very intermittent hobby!

Have a good day.
Hannah.

259

Hi everyone

Well, at last my Internet connection is back up and running. I’ve felt so isolated without being able to log on and chat to you guys. I feel incredibly tired at the moment and my eyes are fuzzy, can’t focus on all the posts. How is everyone?

Hannah - sorry that you have a sore mouth, is it any better yet? Lace making is incredible, I was lucky enough to see the works in progress of of ladies recently, it’s a fascinating process.

Swan, I *love* the idea of head painting, maybe we could set a new retro trend! let’s go for it.

Pheebster, you’re probably off on your hols so have a great time if you get the chance to read this.

Lorna - how did wiggy’s first outing go? You crack me up on the GI Jane vs Kojak analogy, it’s exactly how I felt yesterday evening when I had a bath and was horrified at the amount of remaining hair that was left in the bath.

Bella - can I have you wine if you don’t want it? Hope you’re well.

Cazz - how’s you, hope the scan’s not worrying you too much, it’ll be fine. Sleeping any better?

Liz - hello and welcome:)

Tato - how’s you today?

I’m sure I’ve missed a couple of you gorgeous gals, brain is so not engaged at the moment (well, it may be working but not anywhere in my head, I have scrambled tofu as a replacement) so apologies if I have.

260

Hiya!

Good to hear from you Cat! Wiggy was well behaved… but I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and told everyone I spoke to it was a wig! Though had to come home and change “it” after 2 hours as it was just SO hot and itchy! I did have one of those Bankrobbers stocking on underneath… the wig… and a headband (just for good measure incase it got windy!) o and then kept hood up too! driving home got struck in a huge jam and ALMOST ripped it off… but just managed to get in the door! :o) changed into a new me… a great hat from Accessorize! and went out to starbucks to meet a freind for coffee… and felt GREAT… off course everyone says “you so suit it” what else can they say… “you look terrible”!

Anyway feeling OK now with the hair … lack off… but am feeling a bit weird today… sicky (after feeling so well for last week) and fuzzy head… wonder if it’s my WBC? have bloods Monday.

Take Care

L x