First FEC 2nd October

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Just a quick post girls,

Just wanted to say glad everyone is okay. Had a lovely day with my mum except when she nagged me about smoking and taking a healthier approach to life - I just can’t do that right now as am just trying to get through this. Gave up for the surgery for the sake that my boob wouldn’t fall off but am in the “I could get hit by a bus” mode at the moment rather than the “I need candles”, sorry, just how I am feeling.

The “news” about my cancer has now spread to the neighbours (whom I have had the odd new years eve bash with but normally “hi” in the street. In the last 3 days 2 neighbours have been round with flowers, cards and chocolates! I have had more flowers since 18th August than ever! I must remember to be grateful and I truly am for the amount of love and care that people I don’t particularly know have shown me, let alone those I care about. No-one, as yet, has run away from me or dropped me like a hot potato!

One neighbour, tonight, suddenly broke down in tears whilst we were chatting about the affect of BC over the glass of wine I invited her in for, telling me that 7 years ago she suffered a brain hemorrage and nearly died and how guilty she felt for all that her family had gone through and how she wished she hadn’t told me as she hadn’t told anyone in years and rarely talked about it anymore.

I am finding some amazing relationships in this horrendous time, that certainly includes the relationships here. Not excluding the men in my life but I have to say “here’s to women!!!” - as someone who hasn’t found a close female friend in the last few years and struggled to relate to women as much as men (born flirt!) I am overwhelmed by the relationships I am building and my love of sisterhood!

Too much wine again and too much waffle, love to you all, goodnight,x

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Can I ask a wee question? Is there a difference between this thread and the other one on which many of you seem to post? I forget where I am and who I am talking to kinda. Is there a theme, other than getting each other through kimo?

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Hi Ostrich

I don’t think there’s much difference, the main theme for me is supporting each other through this tough time, and of course, making friends and finding the good things in life. This thread started a little earlier than the other, I think.

Like you, I’ve made some amazingly brilliant friends through this site and through BC, folks I would never have encountered otherwise. Not saying I’m chuffed to have BC/chemo but glad that I’ve been able to find something positive through it in the form of new friends.

I went out to dinner last night to make up for not having my second FEC, yummy Thai food with an eat as much as you like buffet. It was nice and I wore a fancy classic bob wig. The owner who we know fairly well saw James with me, didn’t recognise me, so stalked off because she thought he was out with another woman!

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Hi Cat, we’ve missed you, and hello all other fab girlies!

LOL at restaurant owner thinking your OH was out with another woman - how funny! You’ll need to keep on the lookout for the gossipping types now, see if anyone else has been told!!

Ostrich, I know what you mean about bonding with others. It’s strange isn’t it? We actually know very little about each other really but having this horrid beast in common has bought our group together in an incredible way. It’s good to know we can open up to each other and tell each other things we couldn’t possibly reveal to our nearest and dearest. How on earth did women who have gone before us manage without the internet?!

As of 2 hours ago I’m now a fully paid up member of the Buzz Club. My hair was coming out in strands over the last couple of days and I managed to keep it all through harvest festival at the end of half term at school yesterday, which was my aim. I sat in front of the fire on my own last night and was feeding bits in and watching it fizzing up the chimney. One glass of wine (white, with no headache! You can have my red Cat!!) and a few tears on hubby’s shoulder later I said goodbye to it. This morning I did my usual run of the hands through it and it was coming out in handfuls, so before I had the chance to chicken out I grabbed the clippers and took it off. I had to do a no.4 first as it was quite long and that looked awful, but then I took it right off and I have to say it doesn’t look too bad. At least the awful soreness has gone, and it does actually feel quite liberating. It’s gone now, and all it can do is grow back.

I have Miss Wiggy on to get used to it before I have to take my son out. (On a brighter note, he’s just passed his black belt grading in Tae Kwon Do so we’re going for the presentation-of-the-belt ceremony at his class this morning - I’m so chuffed!!!) Miss Wiggy looks great so I’m trying not to touch or fiddle with it, and hope it’s not too windy! I’m also planning to go out this afternoon but may have to come home in the meantime to take it off for a scratch!!

Love to you all, and have a good weekend.

Bella the Baldy xxx

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Morning Girls

Well done Bella, you’re much braver than I would be. Congrats to your son and I hope the presentation goes well and also Miss Wiggys debut.
Hi Ostrich I was thinking the same about the 'started chemo 14th Oct’thread perhaps we could post a message on there to only post on here from now as the same people seem to be posting on both and I’m getting a bit confused as to what I’ve read where! What do others think.

Hi Cat, glad you had good time out, sounds as though you needed it after the upset about you bloods.How funny that they didn’t recognise you, just think of the fun you could have!!!

I agree about the friendships and feelings this site invokes. Tried to explain it to my OH the other night when he wanted to know why I was on the site AGAIN, but its difficult to explain how you can feel so much for people you haven’t met yet I feel closer in a way to my friends on here than I do the girls I’ve known for years. Must be having that one thing in common and being able to be more open and honest because of it. Whatever it is I couldn’t do without this site now and am so glad I ‘know’ you all. x

Anyway, am going to get my hair cut today, as keep being tempted to get my straightners out and am washing it more often than I should. Going for a pixie so its easier, much to my kids horror. Still they’ll get used to it, got used to a mum with ne boob easy enough so hair should be a doddle.
Hope you all have a lovely day
Much Love
Caz x

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Hi Ladies

Caz - hope the cut goes well - I had a pixie cut much easier to manage

Bloods were good for Kimo (FEC2) and all went well, feeling icky, headache. Decided to wear a heat pad on my hand before going to hospital as had so much trouble with getting line in last time…work a treat 1st time, which took a lot of the stress out of it. Nurse asked if I wanted the cold cap…Wiggy must be good!! Told her bit late for that and lifted the wig… she was AMAZED … feeling chuffed with Wiggy!!! Not so happy about that wieght, put on 7lbs this week 4 of them since yesterday eeeeeek! hoping just steriods and water retention!

Had a new slant on the head painting - do you remember when we were kids (some longer ago than others!) you could get those transfers that you wet and used as tatoos? HEAD TRANSFERS. You could have differnt mood transfers for how you felt that day…must be cracking up.

Have a good weekend ladies as far as you can…enjoy the wine all that can and raise a glass to us who can’t at the mo. Cat - have ypu thought of a glass of Guiness good for raising the reds.

God bless you allxxxx

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Hi all you lovely ladies…not been here for a while as I was laid low with a 2 week cold that developed into sinusitis and nearly got me hospitalised. But seem to be OK now and they even let me have FEC #4 last week. There was a lady there just as I was leaving who had to have her chemo delayed (don’t know why) but I was worried about blood counts what with the infection 'n all. I’d phoned the week before to see if there was anything I could do to boost my counts but they said no…my pre-chemo neutrophils have been in the 1.6-1.8 range and I know they’ll still give you chemo (here anyway) as low as 0.5 (below that is neutropenic and the risk of not being able to fight infection is too high). When the doc was checking me over while I was ill he kept squashing my nails and looking at the colour (this was on day 8) and I noticed that my gums were really pale and my eyelids too…weird, like I was really anaemic or something. I only get my bloods done the day before which like someone else said is a bit short notice if they’re too low. I had mid-cycle bloods done when I was ill and I know they do them at some other hospitals. This time they did phone me to tell me they were OK and to check how I was feeling…I guess coz I’d been unwell…

On the period front, I’ve had 2 so far (heavier than normal) and am due this week…but no sign of anything yet, so maybe they’re on their way out? Made me feel pretty washed out when one coincided with the mid-chemo low point.

Lots of falling out hair…I remember those days. I have a wig, but I love buffs and would recommend the slim-fit ones as they’re a little smaller and seem to fit better with no hair (there is an online retailer who doesn’t charge postage so they’re the same price as in the shops, but also you can get a better range online…I can send the address in a PM). One of my first ‘getting wiggy with it’ outings was to the open evening at the local grammar school (applications time…) and one of my daughter’s friends spotted me and said (in a loud voice) as she walked over “nice wig Sarah”…it felt like everyone in the room turned round to get a better look!! But I think it looks pretty natural (if not a bit messy now my daughters played around with it…)

Haven’t had a sore mouth at all with my chemo, although I do have a sore throat for a few days straight after. I’ve been using a bicarbonate of soda toothpaste and that well know 2-phase mouthwash and that seems to have sorted me out. If you’re suffereing ask the hospital for Difflam…very good stuff apparently.

Also, I’ve noticed that in around day 4 or 5 I develop aches and pains in my neck/shoulders/ribs/upper back…anyone else getting that?

Anyway, enough of me!! You’re all doing really well and I can’t believe how quickly the next dose comes around…you’ll be finshed before you know it. We have half term next week…altho’ I’m hoping to be back to work on Monday, but I think I may try a few days away camping at the end of the week.
Hope you all have a fab weekend…
Love 'n hugs,
Sarahxx

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Hi everyone. Hope you are ok and having an enjoyable weekend. Osrtich, I echo your sentiments about friends. Never realised what great mates I had till this b*******d came along and they rallied round with curries and casseroles, driving miles to see me and generally being there. That’s the women, natch, but menfolk have been good for phone calls and pints etc.

Well done on your wigs, Lorna and Bella. I’m now on day 17 from first chemo and my hair is a pathetic shadow of its former self. Haven’t started ‘wigging it’ yet, but panicking about a full day at the office on Tuesday. Can’t be seen with gaps and comb-over, so will have to get over myself and appear wearing ‘Connie’. It’ll be driving me mad by the end of eight hours. How has anyone else got on?

My lovely wig lady - Pat at Hair to Ware in Ware, Herts, I’d really recommend her, both for her kindness to us poor saps and her huge range of wigs and colours - said I should be wearing Connie for at least an hour a day to get used to it, but I’ve been naughty about doing that. While my hair was OK - even looking quite good, for me - I wanted to make the most of it.

Sarah, I got muscle pains all over on day four: neck, back, belly, legs all sore to the touch. Hubby tried rubbing Ibuleve into neck, but it made no difference. Gone by day 6 though.

I’ll be thinking of you on Wednesday, Lorna, as I head to the ‘party room’ at the hospital. ‘Party room’ is not only my euphemism - I hate it that the word ‘chemo’ is now an everyday part of my vocabulary - but a good description, too. The oncology nurses are so lovely - loud and rude and funny - that there is a party atmosphere in there. My BCN also popped in for half an hour - cervix jokes anyone?

Bye for now. Chins up
Liz

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Afternoon Ladies,

Glad everyone is seeming well

And great you have a weekends reprieve in a way Cat… I know still a bummer… but nice to get out and enjoy “life” funny that you can now be someone else with the help of wiggy…

New Identities :o) Mine’s called Sadie! LOL although have “sharp” winging it’s way from USA! Be thinking of you too Liz on Wednesday… and good luck with Connie’s stage appearance…I took sadie out as I said… and 2 hours was enough! I’m now gona take hats and headband with me whereever I go as “Sadie” just incase I need to do a switch!

My life does seem to be taken over by that word… Chemo/Kimo! Hopefully I’m not becoming similar to a “baby bore” but I guess it is quite a Major issue in all our lives right now … and I too echo that it is great to have you ladies as new friends :o)

I also had the aches Sarah day 5… felt like I had been flattened… Called it the “bulldozer” day!

Hi to everyone else … Cazz… Swan… Bella… Ostrich… and anyone who may be just reading through!

and hope you are Ok Tato

Lorna x

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I am liking calling the yukky FEC routine ‘kimo’, makes it sound almost trendy. I want to get a kimono to wear to kimo, play dress up while I’m doing it. So, are we all naming our wiggies? I love Sadie and Connie, they conjure up glam gorgeous gals. Mine are:

* Alannis (Alannis Morissette)
* Louise (from Louise Brooks)
* Penelope (Penelope Cruz)
* and nameless thus far scruffy look

I have photos of a couple of them on FlickR or Facebook for those of you who want a jolly good laugh, just PM me if you fancy it. Actually, anyone who does Facebook or FlickR and fancies adding me, let me know and I’ll PM you the relevant details. It’s actually quite nice, I think, to have an idea of who you’re talking to online, makes it more real when we’ve become so close supporting each other.

I’m shattered after a day in the car taking my mom home to Hertfordshire, and shopping. I went to M&S because I thought I’d get a new bra or two now that I have the jellyfish falsie but I chickened out. All the bras in M&S were sexy and revealing, stuff all use to me with the jellyfish to pop into it. I had quite a moment and nearly ended up in tears, pathetic. I went to NewLook instead and bought loads of bits and bobs of bling bling jewellery to cheer myself up, plus a woolly hat and a couple of glitzy scarves for my bald bonce. I wore the scuff wig from 9am until 5pm, and blimey, it was tough going, felt like I had a rubber band around my head.

I had aches as well after my first FEC, thought it was just me sleeping funny, but now I see you guys have had the same, I guess it’s just another irritating side effect :-s

Righty, time to bath my sprog-u-like and get him to calm down before hopefully getting him to bed. I was angling for a bottle of Cloudy Bay in Waitrose but James nearly died laughing at the £17 a bottle (I reckon that’s pretty cheap), so instead have a cheeky Gisborne unoaked Chardonnay to try a glass of with dinner this evening. If I make it on here again later, I am bound to be tiddly :wink:

Hope you’re all well, lovely ladies, and have a great evening!

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Hi

I would also recommend Hair to Ware (Ware - Hertfordshire). My alter ego is Jaimie and I should be trying to get use to it by wearing it an hour a day as advised also. Will try to be good and do it tomorrow.

Hannah

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Hi everyone. It’s certainly been busy here on the forum. Good to hear how everyone is doing - hiccups in the treatment plan or not. I too joined the buzz brigade yesterday as I was already needing to wear a hat or scarf out because of all the bald patches and it was falling out in clumps! Happy with ‘wiggy’ - as yet to be named but happier with a scarf so far. Recommended a BeauBeau from USA and went for it - really pleased with them. Can be found via a Google search if interested. Did get customs duty but have applied for a refund as they are specifically designed for the purpose.

Enjoying some wine and hoping my counts will be ok Mon for Kimo Tues. Have a good evening everyone.

Best wishes, Tanya x

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Morning All

Wore old wiggy out again yesterday…not sure I feel so comfortable in her thinks I shall call her miranda!!! prefer the scarves. Was washed out after OH took me out for a few hours yesterday…feeling pretty sick and mouth starting to get sore on second FEC…hey ho the wonderful world of KIMO!!

Hope you enjoyed your extra hour in bed girls!!

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Morning

Extra hour in bed! I should be so lucky. My son actually managed to get up an hour earlier than usual, which wasn’t great considering I didn’t drop off until 4am.

Sorry you aren’t the best with a sore mouth and feeling sick, big virtual hugs to cheer you up. I like the idea of Miranda, very Shakespeare! They itch like nothing on Earth, don’t they, even with the bank robber’s stocking underneath!

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Hi laides

Wonder if i could jion in here- under FEC too - will go for the 2nd one next week. Half of my hair has gone now and still falling - feel like a dog. When it was windy when i walked on the street, I tried to look if there is anyone behind me- as they surely will be hit by my falling hair!! that must be a surprise to them!!

Anyhow still a bit scared about the coming one. I suppose no matter how much you been through you still get scared …

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Avonlea - welcome! The anticipation of hair loss is actually worse than the reality. I shaved mine off last Sunday when strands were starting to shed. I was gutted and cried, but the next day I was OK, especially once my son had accepted it and decided I looked like a hedgehog.

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Hi Cat

Thanks for the msg. I agree the anticipation of unknown is the worst. I cried too when my hair first fall off - but now I accept it- just a bit inconveneint as my hairs all over the place… lol… i decide not to shave it as one thing i want to see how exactly the hair goes. also i am still looking for a better wig( got one but look for one more like my orginial hair)

It doe make it much better when your loved ones accept it and support you. A good friend did say he’d shave his hair if i decide to shave mine as this could keep me company…

How many FEC did you have by far? How do you feel?

take care

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Hi Ladies,

As you know I don’t start my kimo until Tuesday so am only reading your stories with interest and amusement with the occasional “gulp” that’ll be me soon. I therefore have no hair stories etc to share but wanted to share my good news! As you might guess I am rather chuffed as I have put this on the other thread too!

My OH and I have finally managed to resume the intimate side of our life. It was 6 weeks of me feeling ill/sore/uncomfortable/leaking/bleeding and being completely engrossed in getting over surgery (and ending up sleeping in the spare room just to let him sleep whilst I tried to sleep at a 45 degree angle) and me thinking we would never be close in that way again as the last time (a couple of days before my mx I burst into tears in the middle about how I was going to look). The more I worried about the actual practicalities of it (scar on back, sore/numb side, scar on front on concrete new boob) and the emotional side of it the further away it seemed.

I have reclaimed that part of my life from BC! Several glasses of wine and NOT thinking about it too deeply… all just in time for me to start kimo on Tuesday and firmly shove my head back up my rear and obsess about me again (hair, being sick etc etc).

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Congrats, Ostrich - it’s great to have that back again, even if temporarily. I think we’ve managed it twice since my mastectomy, but it’s good to know the equipment still ‘works’.

Connie made her debut today at a big family lunch. My mum and sister knew I was wigging it, but didn’t mention it, and no one else seemed to notice. Don’t THINK they were just being kind. So glad to rip the thing off after nearly five hours, though, felt like a hot, itchy vice (and not in a good way!). Still got about 50% of my hair, so putting off buzz cut till the bald patches get too obvious.

Bloods and visit to onc tomorrow ahead of next kimo (SO MUCH more attractive than chemo) Wednesday.
Fingers crossed for us all
Liz

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Me again. Avonlea, welcome. Which day next week do you have your 2nd FEC? And how were you first time. For me it went: tired and fluey 2 days; muscle pains 2 days; better by day 6; sore mouth for a few days but otherwise fine (except for not being able to glug too much wine); then the itchy scalp and the moulting. But at least once the hair’s gone it’s gone, and that’s one less side effect to face next time.
Best of luck
Liz