i was woundering if there is any gaywomen, in the burnley, pendle area, that has been diagnosed with breast cancer. if there is any out there, would you like to get intouch, meet up for a coffee

Must be some Gay women on this site, i worked in show business and have lots of gay pals, some have had breast cancer, one has just cleared 10 years and the other friend is coming up to 8 years, are there any more gay ladies out there just out of interest.
Take care all.

Hi Phoenix

I am lesbian but not in Burnley. My impression is that there are relatively few lesbians who use this site.When I first posted 4 years ago I did try to find others but no one ever replied…since then I’ve realised that though some of the issues about having bc are different if you are lesbian, many (most?) are not. Lesbians are as diverse as women with breast cancer!

But hope you find someone to have coffee with.

best wishes


I have posted on behalf of new user Claire
Kind regards

Phoenix49 - I am the partner of a gay girl with breast cancer – i come on the forum alot here - but have not posted on this one - until today! My partner was dx Aug 2006. We are based in the north west and know where Burnley is. Maybe we could meet up or at least chat on here.

Claire X X

thank you for your replys. would love to chat, meet up for coffee claire, i was dx 17 march 2008, feels like im living in a dream world. one day im ok about the cancer, the next i want to rip it out of me.
im having my op on the 3rd april.
carole x

hey, yep you can count me in but i’m based north east so not exactly local! i was diagnosed end of sept last year and have just finished chemo, about to start radiotherapy… if i can help at all by telling you of my experiences so far i will. the first few weeks when you’re getting your head around it all are definitely the worst. it does get easier as you learn more about it and you start your treatment. take care, carrie

Posted on behalf of new user Claire
Kind regards

Hey Carole,

Hope you are ok today. The news is so raw for you at the minute it is no surprise you are up and down with things. Do you know how to personal messages on this site? I am not sure - but would be easier to talk about things.

Take care

Claire x x

my friend Andrea lives in Hebden Bridge and was diagnosed with breast cancer about six years ago. She and her partner Philipa are featured in the Breast Cancer Care booklet called “In It Together” on the effects that breast cancer has on partner. I think Andrea does some voluntary work for Breast Cancer Care as a buddy for people diagnosed so maybe ring the Breast Cancer Care helpline

Good luck


Dear Claire

You can send a private message by typing the username of the person you are posting to in the ‘send a private message to’ box, this is case sensitive so be sure to type the username correctly, then type your message as usual in the ‘enter your comments’ box. The message will only be available to read by yourself, the user you have sent it to and the moderator.

Best wishes

hey phoenix - i cant work out this private message lark! How are you doing? what op will you having on the 3rd april and where? Just gotta remember to take it all one day at a time (as sick as i am of hearing the cliche) The op is the first step onto recovery. What hospital are you under and what is your treatment plan?


hey claire im having a full mastectomy and all my lymph nodes removing. im going into burnley genral, they have been fantastic with me.
some days im thinking its cancer iv got over worse, then other days i want to rip it out of me, and im so down in the dumps, been and had a natter with my gp today, he was great, and seemed to explain things better ( or it could have been me taking it in a tad bit better lol ).
i wont be on here for a while, as iv lots of things to do before my op.
chat soon and take care.
carole xx

hi carole
good luck and best wishes with yr op and treatment plan

My names Ali, I’m 42 and gay. Diagnosed on friday. My partner Lynn is really struggling. HELP!!!


Hi Ali

I’m older than you at 59. my partners’ a couple of years younger. One things which has really impressed us both since my diagnosis in 2003 is that all the doctors, nurses etc we’ve encountered have been fabulously OK and non homophobic about her as my partner. Absolutely ordinary treatment…which is as it should be but certainly wasn’t the case a few years ago. (Unfortuntaley can’t say the same for a few cancer patients we’ve encountered who talked about us behind our backs! I heard one saying she didn’t know why I was upset about losing my hair cause I looked like a dyke anyway…)

Keep talking to each other…our relationship got stronger with cancer (which isn’t to recommend cancer…it stinks.) best wishes


Hi Jane
I felt i must write to you to say how absolutley disgusted i was to read about the person that said what she said about your hair, what colour ,religion or sexual persausion a person is shouldnt matter we are all facing the same demon’s and for one Cancer victim to bellitle another is beyond the pale.
Take Care

Thanks Tina…it was nearly 5 years ago now…in east London/Essex borders…I’d been chatting to this woman about my partner, cancer etc. Then we were behind different screens and she had several visitors and starting talking in a loudstage whisper about ‘that woman round there…you’ll never guess what ha ha’. I know it sounds awful but when you’re gay you get used to this kind of thing…and if you’re out and confident as I am you can deal with it…it happens much less than it used to because the climate has changed so much. A lot of people still think they’ve never met anyone gay, and people with cancer haven’t done the awarenness raising courses that the medics have done!


As a health professional myself, a patient is a patient whoever they are, whatever they are. I have not yet done any awareness raising courses but quite frankly, I think I would be OK as I am experienced enough not to ever sterotype and base my treatment around the patient’s needs. this does include careful consideration about their culture, race, age etc but to date, sexuality has not been an issue either for me or my patients. I think that unfortunately the wider population still have a stigma about homosexuals and lesbians which thankfully is getting reducing thanks to greater awareness. It does make my blood boil when I hear of incidences when people are singled out because of their sexuality .

What a nerve, Jane RA, aren’t people judgemental? I am glad the professionals have been…professional. I must say that I am sometimes marginalised in real life because I am a large lady (euphemism!) but have received no judgement for this during treatment, with nary an eyebrow raised when I get on the scales. I would love to see a society where we are all treated with respect and kindness whatever our race, religion, sexuality, size, education etc

hi jane
im not gay,and i feel very sad that someone like that woman could be so shallow. best wishes to u and yrs.
ps my 18 year old told us last weekend that he was gay. he said he felt scared to speak to us in case his dad wasnt happy. do u no wot,he has been his greatest supporter so far,and me.

Hi all! Thanks for all your kind words… Right now it doesn’t really matter to me bout being gay… it’s just the effect this god dammed thing is having on our lives! Don’t think I’ve ever been so scared! Saw the plastic surgeon last night and it looks like I can have some sort of reconstruction but only if after an mri to check that there are no other lumps there! MRI scheduled for next wednesday… more waiting! It’s the possibility that it’s not just in my boob that I’m so worried about… what if its elsewhere? How do you cope with that? The PS also dropped it in that my lump was 28mm, that sounds big!!! Is it???

Maria, I’m so glad you’re son has been able to talk to you at 18, you’ve no idea what that says about you as parents!!! Fantastic -well done you and your hubby for supporting him, he will need it! I certainly could never have told my parents at that age but I guess it’s differnt now! If you need a wee chat and I can help in any way then just give me a shout.

Love and hugs
Ali x