Hello All
I was diagnosed on this past friday 18/12 and I can see already I am not the only one. I am very scared and pending some additional test results on some lymph tissue before they confirm the treatment. Surgery of course will happen but I guess they need to confirm chemo or radiotherapy.
I feel very emotional, anger, fear, disbelief etc. I just dont know how to help myself at this time without upsetting those around me.
looking forward to hearing from you all,
Ali B xx
Ali, I know exactly how you feel and all the emotions that are rushing around in your head. I was diagnosed at the end of September and like you didn’t want to upset my friends and family. However, I have needed them all so much to help me get through and I now realise you can’t do this on your own . This forum has been an incredible support as well ( I had never posted in a forum before this!) and has allowed me to express feelings that I can’t at home. Take it one step at a time, cry if you need to and take the support that is offered. I have since had two lots of surgery and start chemo in January. If you had told me a year ago I would be coping with breast cancer and even having some good times I would never have believed it.
Take care . Love Claire xxxxx
Hi Ali, I was diagnosed 17/12 have to go back Xmas eve for biopsy results & to discuss surgery etc. I still haven’t come to terms with it or even accepted it as it doesn’t seem real. I’m 29 with a 2 year old son so he keeps me busy & takes my mind off things.
Sending you love & strength
Paula x
Dear Pjlady and Cs66,
Thank you for your replies, I am so scared, what-ifs, the bad stuff. I feel pathetic at the same time. Sometimes I feel quite defiant, other times I fear dying (there, I said it). I am so lost. This isn’t supposed to be like this 
xxx
hi,
you are not on your own, I too have just been diagnosed and very anxious. Awaiting appointments from hospital to start the process.
Thinking of you all with love and hope.
I found the waiting and the unknown really difficult to deal with. I definitely felt more settled once I’d had surgery and was lucky that my results were just a week after I was discharged. Although it does mean chemo followed by radiotherapy, at least I know and can get by head around it all.
Lots of love xx
Hi Ali-B , I am a 38 year old and was diagnosed on the 22nd December with invasive ductal cancer following biopsy results. I had a great Christmas with family determined not to let the dreaded C word spoil everything, but now back to normality I feel scared witless and dread each hurdle this is going to throw at me. I have an MRI scan on the 4th Jan which will decide treatment etc although they seemed convinced with the mastectomy route. I can totally relate with you on the ups and downs. Some mornings I feel so positive determined to kick its arse and others not wanting to get out of bed… Sending you a big hug x
Hi, I to was diagnosed with invasive ductal brest cancer. Mine is in my lympth nodes so best of my understanding the surgeon will remove all my lymp notes in my left arm. That scares me. They first said I would have a mastemey and then finally I was sent to an oncologist. The Oncologist was the best thing for me. He was able to explain things. I am not taking Chemo…I hate it but am thankful it could save my life. After Chemo I will have surgery then do a round of radation. There is a possiblily I will not have to have a mastemey, just a lump ectomy. I am praying for that. It is scarey. They told me mine was the most common of all cancer in women. We just have to believe everything will work out. This is how I feel about it. It will be okay…we just have to go through hell to get to the other side. I am in the midst of hell now. Chemo is not fun.
Hi Ali B and all,
Well I had MRI scan today which was an experience. Quite scary as I am quite claustrophobic and I was in the tunnel for a good 45 mins with the machine making a right noise, the earplugs wouldn’t drown it out… Have another wait to decide treatment options although they seemed convinced I would be having mastectomy which I am ok with as like you I want it all out of me!! Chemo is another dread ( not so much my hair falling out) but the awful side effects, but hey if it saves our lives we can get through it, think positive we found the lumps, a lot are so small and impossible to find… Keep the faith, we will get through this xx
Sandi xx
I got the same thing told to me 2 days before Xmas, POS cancer… I am more annoyed than anything else, because I know that this is HIGHLY treatable, and refuse to let the diagnosis ruin my world. But I’m 60 years old, and have lived a very full life. I’m having a party to celebrate taking the girls off, and to let my friends help say goodbye to them. I know as a young woman you must be very scared, but I will be brave for you and everyone who is scared, and spit in cancers eye.
Hello All,
It’s been a while since I last posted to this thread. Today I had my pre-op appointment ready for the big MX next week (all things being good and it doesn’t get put back because of the doctors strike :-/).
The BC nurse showed me some examples of the implant/expander they’ll put in and also the drain stuff - I am glad she did as it did give some comfort but it still feels like an out-of-body experience. Like I am looking at it from a distance. I still can’t believe I am here - why can’t I just accept I am here? I am still so angry and bitter at what is happening.
I can’t wait for the thing to be out of me - but then I don’t want to be under the knife either! It’s all bonkers.
BBFN
Ali xx
Hi Ali-B, I know what you mean about the outer body experience, I myself can’t believe this is happening to me…I still feel numb to be honest. I have my pre-op appointment tomorrow following on from my MRI and I actually feel sick thinking about what tomorrow will bring…whether its spread to my lymph nodes etc… I’m pretty sure it will be a mastectomy and its a weird feeling to know they will be doing their surgery thing while I’m oblivious and out for the count to the whole thing. I too just want the whole thing out of me and if it means losing a boob so be it. Keep your chin up girl, you’re not alone x
@Alib and Sandy 1977
Whilst I was in hospital last week having a wide local excision I met a 40 year old lady who had a double mastectomy and reconstruction because she had the Braca 2 gene. She came out of surgery and hasn t been in too much pain at all. I am going to see her today so will update you on how she s doing. Thinking of you both. I get results on Friday and to say I m scared is an understatement xx
Hi Ali-B and Julia 1, Hope you are both well, I had my appointment with oncologist today and as I suspected they’re going with the mastectomy, which I can get my head around as it turns out I have 3 separate lumps grade 3 . . Get them the hell out of me!!! On the positive side the MRI did not pick up anything in my lymph nodes so there is some good news I guess… My operation date is next Wed 27th ( depending if junior doc isn’t striking to pass scalpel : - )
what can I say I can’t really put into words how I’m feeling, doing menial tasks seems to be a struggle, I will say surrounding yourself with friends and family helps, they cheer you up and take your mind off things for a nanosecond or two!! The operation itself is enough never mind the 6 rounds of chemo… It is sooo scarey and everything happening at such a whirlwind pace… Bring back normality! Thinking of you both…
On a funny note if all goes well in 18 months could be getting boob job thru reconstruction and a tummy tuck at the same time. Xx
Hi Ali-B
Sorry u not doing too good today. I m feeling same. Went to see my friend today who had a double mastectomy last Wednesday and she s doing really good. If you want to chat my e mail address is julia.gosley@tesco.net.
I m here anytime you need go talk xx
Hi Ali-b and Sandy 1977
Will be thinking of you both. Please keep in touch either on here or by my personal email. We are going through this journey together and will support each other.
Love to you both xxx
Hi Julia 1, thank you for your lovely messages, I’m so glad I joined this forum, to know I’m not alone in facing this huge horrible challenge life has thrown at me. Your friend sounds super brave dealing with a double mastectomy never mind losing the one boob… I hope she is healing well …wishing you all the best for Fridays results…
Massive hug Sandi xx
Thanks Sandi1977. My friend is doing great. She made the brave decision to have the double mastectomy cos she had the Braca gene 2 that is high risk for breast cancer. She also had ovaries removed only 3 months ago. I find this forum a help too as it doesn t make you feel so lonely. There are times when I ve lain awake at night this last month and didn t know how I could go on. Just try and take one day at a time. The operation will be fine for u and if you ever need to talk just message me. My email address is julia.gosley@tesco.net. Take care and keep in touch. Xxx
Thank you Julia 1, this forum keeps me going, I am having good days and very bad days where I feel so helpless and have panic attacks. I am dreading the op and the dreaded aftermath… But I know it’s for the best…I’ve been trying to keep busy, going to work etc but yeah I know what you mean lying in bed staring at the ceiling and whittling yourself silly…Your friend is one strong lady having her ovaries removed as well as her two breasts. Hugs to you both xxx
Hi Sandi1977
I have those panic attacks too and they are awful. It’s hard trying to act normal in front of kids when u going through this. Please keep ur chin up and remember we re all here for u xx