Good luck to all of you on this thread about to have surgery. I understand what you are going through, I was just the same. I have just started chemotherapy and as strange as it sounds, now it has started I almost feel calmer and have a better peace of mind. I think it’s because for now, there is nothing else really they can diagnose me with (well I hope not!) its just this journey I’m on. The waiting for appointments and test results really does play mind games on you. It’s the toughest time mentally.
Be sure to check out the other threads as your own journeys progress I’m on the Jan 2016 chemo thread, if that is something you might need to go through. Always ask questions, everyone is always willing to help on here
Hi Kim555pink and Julia 1, I totally agree with you both about waiting for results, it was terrible especially the wait after biopsy, and when I had a missed call 4 days later ( 3 times) as I couldn’t summon up the guts to answer straight away, I had a weird sixth sense that it was something bad…
I now have a pre op assessment on the Monday ready for the MX on Wednesday and to say I’m scared is an understatement… I just hope I heal ok and get ready for the chemo, the sooner the better !! How is your chemo going Kim? I hope ok and you’re not having too many side effects… I will keep everything crossed for you tomorrow Julia, keep strong both of you xx
Chemo is going OK - feelings of being hungover and very lightheaded. I think the antisickness drugs did their job and I’ve been able to eat normally which is good because my weight is the low side of normal. I think my temperature is the low side of normal too - so that’s my main worry at the moment, just don’t want to ignore any symptoms I’m having but don’t want to ring the helpline all the time! Not that I have, it’s an hour’s drive to the hospital if they decide to have me in and I’m actually ok!
Think I’ve been lucky so far tho - not expecting it to last!
Take care xxx
Had results following wire guided excision and not the news I wanted. Is DCIS (mixed high, medium and low grade) 3cm. There is no invasive so all contained within duct but need further op on 2 nd to remove more tissue as not clear margins from biopsy, they are trying mri on Tuesday but did say that as I have large breasts that they may not be able to do. I did speak with consultant and said if a mastectomy was needed them to do this as must wanted nightmare to end. She is reluctant to do this if not needed. Have meeting Friday to decide what op I m to have in the Tuesday. I know though I ll have to have radiotherapy.
I am so scared and Don t know where to turn. She said not life threatening but the anxiety I suffer does not listen to this.
Let me know how I both get on and sorry for ranting on xx
Hi Julia 1, hope you are ok, I send a huge hug out to you… First of all never apologise for ranting on… We are here to support one another through this crappy time… Results day is always so stressful and it’s natural for us all to think the worst thoughts … Like Ali B said think of the positives, by the sounds of things you have a really sound team of doctors who are making sure you have clear margins so you can be assured they have got rid of it all… I know it seems like a long horrible journey but we will all get through it somehow… Deal with one hurdle at a time, and try not to google ( especially the American sites) I too am very guilty of this and they can stress you out even more as a lot of their information is so inaccurate. Try and stay positive, I know it’s easier said than done xxx
Thank you for your kind words and support. It’s just been such a roller coaster this last month. Being told that it was DCIS and then possibly only abnormal cells and then back to DCIS.i was so hoping that today would be told abnormal cells and that no more treatment. I just worry about the what if all the time. Just going through range of emotions. The anxiety is making me ill and Don t know how much more I can take. So scared of dying and leaving the kids. X
Julia, if I was there I’d give you a huge hug and a huge glass of wine… Deep breath and try and stop your mind from working overtime , I know how hard it is believe me, it was my last day at work on Friday ( my little bubble of normality) and now I’m at home waiting on my op on wed which I’m having panic attacks about… But I know I have to go through this as the other option is not an option, take each step as it comes and don’t think too much ahead ( mastectomies etc) this treatment will save our lives. Please be brave xx
Thank you for your words and I do wish you were here to give me a big hug. I just can t cope with this feeling. Would you mind giving me your e mail to keep in touch? Mine is julia.gosley@tesco.net. Xxx
No worries it’s sandiv77@hotmail.com You can email me at any time xx things will get better Julia just keep strong and believe you can get through this, face each hurdle head on massive hug cx
Julia,anxiety rarely responds to rational thinking, its a response in part of your brain that is not easily responsive to logic , it can really floor you and make you feel desperate.You have a very good diagnosis ,but being faced with your own mortality is a shocker,even if your prognosis is good.If you already are a bit vulnerable when it comes to anxiety it will really kick you in the stomach(;talking from experience ).Please speak to your GP asap re support (medication /counselling whatever is on offer) to get you through this crap time ,the helpline on this site is also really good.I don’t know how I would have coped with this without the support here. Please don’t suffer alone.Jill.
Im awake after hubby crashing and banging about on his way to the loo!
Deep breaths love, you will be ok and just need to start to believe it, the nights are the worst i know and i was the same and barely slept for more than a couple hours at a time, it will get better honestly Xx
Julia you will get through this stage hun honestly, fight it for your girls use them as your focus and dont let your fear of this crappy disease become more important than them! Your husband really isnt helping by losing his temper but they just cant understand fully unless they have been there, i woke mine many times a night in a state of panic but it eases with time and however bad it feels now it will stop i promise you Xx
Julia I was diagnosed last May with Grade 2 invasive ductal cancer,it was found via routine mammogram.I was in total shock and felt completely overwhelmed by the diagnosis ,in complete panic I found my way to this site and posted and got lots of replies from women who reassured me this was not the end of the world and that people could and did get through this and have normality again.I had an op ,then 3 weeks radiotherapy and I am now on Tamixifen for 10 years.I am fine back at work ,life pretty much back to normal but at the time it completely shook me to the core.A lot of us have needed additional help in the form of medication to get through the initial diagnosis ,sounds like you do need some additional support though to get you through .As I said previously anxiety is such a powerful emotion it does not respond easily to rational thinking .Next time you feel bad in the night try and find the night owls thread were some people post when they can’t sleep .There is also a thread "just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand ",where quite a few ladies at various stages of treatment offer each other support.If you look at the beginning of the thread which I started the day after I was diagnosed you will see how awful I felt ,but it does get better I promise.Please if you continue to feel this bad get emergency appointment to see out of hours G.P.The middle of the night is the worst time.You are not alone in going through this ,lots of us are and have been.
Hello all, not having a good day at all… Been for my pre-op appointment this morning and my blood pressure is high… ( not really surprising after past months events) , then went to nurse to do blood test and my body wouldn’t give any up!! Had to go down to pathology lab and wait ages til someone from their team could do it… Everyone is try and keep calm, try not to worry but it is impossible not to… I am absolutely dreading Wednesday ( they say its ok to go ahead as they think the high blood pressure is due to white coat syndrome) but again I can’t stop whittling about every worst possible scenario… I have a banging headache and can’t seem to stop crying! … I feel so low. : - (
