hello and welcome to wellmeant
i am finding it really interesting and useful to read this thread, and the input of the people who are partners to people with bc, and i’m sure others are too - thanks for ‘talking’ to us about it.
the first time i was dx, we were already having some marital probs - based on communication - and almost lost our marrage. learning to understand the differences in our hard wiring and thought processes actually got us talking, and when we reach the inevitable ‘downs’, we do go back to that.
i also honestly think that as equal partners, as well as understanding how men communicate, we have to accept that our modes of communication might bamboozle partners and male children, dads etc, and think about what that means. like el katrano, i wasted years simmering - it took years to realise that simmering and then exploding from time to time wasn’t helpful! when he was saying what he thought, i would spend weeks mulling it over, trying to work out what he meant, when he only meant what he said. and i never let it lie - still don’t!
last thing to say is that i am generalising and appreciate that each individual and all relationships are of course different, but i think its a healthy, interesting and, for me, helpful.
best wishes all round
mon x
Me and my wife are very lucky in that we are also best too and this helps a lot - we are getting wonderful support and complimentary therapies from our hospital in East Yorkshire.
To all husbands supporting their wives there is help and support there for you too just ask Dr’s, nurses and other staff are wonderful at their jobs but alas they are not ‘mind readers’ so if you have a drop in centre at your hospital call in for a chat it will I’m sure sure help you so much in difficult times.
My previous post should have read: also best friends too!