Seems I spoke to soon when I said I seemed pretty SE free. Today I wet my hair in the shower to pat it down a bit (get horrendous bedhead) and ran my fingers through it, big clumps coming out, then when I got out of the shower and looked in the plughole, it was full of hair. Oh sh*t, looks like the cold cap isn’t going to work for me. This is after 1 lot of chemo.
And my hair was in *fantastic* condition.
So I had a bit of a cry and a snot all over my OH this evening, thought I’d be OK about it all but turns out I feel fairly traumatised by it, just sick of being “brave” (whatever that is)
and I’m bored of being at home alone all day.
So I was a big sissy girl and had a snot laden self indulgent snot fest.
Can’t sleep cos scalp hurts like hell and itching all over as I’m also getting dry skin.
Took mirror downstairs, pair of scissors and “did a Britney Spears” and hacked all the length off, it looks dreadful. Will shave it properly tomorrow, just felt I had to *do* something tonight.
Urgh, I feel very violated at having to do that. Glad I’ve took matters into my own hands but really angry at the cancer for making me have to make that decision, like I don’t feel fat and ugly enough as it is at the moment! Now I’m going to be bald as well as infertile, fat and miserable.
As you can see, I’m having a tad bit of a depressed evening.
Well, sometimesw you just have to get it out there and you lot all understand.
LOoks like Alexis the wig is going to be making an early entrance…