Mjje
Just read your post inbetween loo dashing! So much for the suppositories helping the sickness!
I am so very sorry for you… having to terminate your pregmancy… triple whammy of very bad luck.
But also interested… I first went with a palpable lump in left breast in Aug 2006! Had a mammogram and ultrasound and was told it was a fatty lump , return in a year. So again in Sept 07 the same was repeated and the same diagnosis and instructions were given… return 2008. However during 2008 we moved house and I was sent immediately after my mnew patient medical to hospital as the GP was not happy! I was then diagnosed in Sept 08 with BC when the same lump was removed.
I have been advised to formally complain and take it further but not sure its a good idea as very negative… and lets face it we all need POSITIVES!!!
Bethy xx
Well …it’s like there has been a glitter explosion in my house. I think Kai and I made about 5 cards, but got glitter everywhere (still at least it took his mind off his willy… he actually told me that it was relally big today and I said…well…you don’t take after your Father then!!!)
Shell - I’ve spent loads of money on hats and scarves too and have been wearing them to get used to them. I love wigs, but feel self conscious and have still worn my scarves with them. I’m sure people don’t know, but am conscious that hair is now big.
Caron - I cried when I first went to the wig place too… all a bi too real… but cheered up when I got to play with all the different colous and styles!! I ended up with a different colour and it’s part moccha…so coffee a bit theme clearly!!! My hair started coming out just before and just after 2nd chemo, but I still have some thanks to the cold cap…not sure if I’ll keep any after next round of chemo though! You also asked where my other lump was…same breast…but there is something going on in my armpit too!! Just want to cut the damn thing off!!! Do your antidepressants make you feel any different? i was worried that i would feel even more “out of it” than I do already. Everything went very surreal after diagnosis and I still feel slightly detached from things…plus chemo brain…and …well…I’m even more fluffy than normal!
Jo - so so sad reading your story. You have really been through it.
Jackie - thanks for the positive story. It’s good to hear. It’s too easy to focus on everything negative!
Bethy - Sounds like you’re having a terrible time with the sickness. Hope it calms down over the next few days. Plus your diagnosis story is terrible. I wish I had gone to my GP etc much earlier, but am also conscious that things don’t always get picked up and it’s such a relief to hear that things are innocent at the time. The only reason my GP sent me to the breast clinic was because I’m a worrier and she wanted to put my mind at rest. Hmmm…didn’t work out well. Turned out I had a major major big nasty lurking. Such a shock and to realise I had had it for a while. Can’t imagine why they didn’t do a biopsy on you and it does sound like you would have a good case…BUT… you’re right…it’s just a case of where you need to put your energy isn’t it.
Well I’m off for an early night…shopping tomorrow and need energy …!!
Sorry Jo,
I must have been writing the same time as you and I have onlyjust read your post ! ( soz ) that is terrible what happend to you ! ( really is ).
Did they say how big the nodes was ??? I have 2 arm pit and 2 breast ! wish I had been more braest aware ( I thought I was , but now I am having my doubts )
Guess what ladies ??? not many side effects no apart from being tired and this damn headache ( it’s gone tonight again but might come back in the morning like it did this morning ?).well my hair has alraedy started to fall out !!! so reckon I will be bald next time I go ?
All the neighbours can bloody look at me ! ( feel like a freak show !, get Steve to bring the van on the front now so most of them can’t see me ( especially the old bag next door ! )).
My Dad came tonight he brought me his christmas sausages that he made ( thats 2 lots I have had this week ( yum) but they are for xmas morning )and he brought me his ice-cream he made some wallnut cake Mam made and the plum loaf mam made ! ( so I should be putting the weight on nicely !).
I really feel for all you Ladies who are suffering with sickness ( thats the bit I wasnot looking forward to ).
Hey you know when you have a drain is it in your arm ??breast ???or both ??? how big is it ? I cant imagine that is nice ? another thing if they remove your nodes can you still sweat ? (might sound like a daft question ?) anyway hope your all ok today ho hum another dat tomoz !
I asked Steve a horrible question tonight I said " arnt you bothered now "? it seems to have sunk in with him , but certainly not with me ! love Caronxx
Sorry I forgot to add the antidepressants are not just antidepressants they are also to helpyou sleep and to try and make you relax .
I feel quite normal on them they dont send me giddy or nothing and the chemo hasn’t made me feel fuzzy either I have ordered some more today ( he DOC had better give me some ! )love caron ( why suffer on your own ? )xxxxxxxxxx
Got up this morning still got a headache ! and heart burn !havnt got dressed yet ( maybe wont today?)
Slept not too bad keep having hot flushes ( every one has been cold I have been boiling ! ( poor them cos they have yo comply with me ).
write later love Caron xx
Every one must be out shopping, I’m glad iv done all mine. Went to Morrison’s this morning to get my last bits and bobs and now I’m ready for Christmas day,just have to pick the meat up from the butchers.I have a Christmas cake my hubby wants me to ice for him,its a shop bought one but its gluten free, my hubby is a Coeliac. It can be a bit of a pain some times.
Caron - I’m glad your only suffering from tiredness at the moment, its good to keep snoozing.
I feel ok today, no appetite though…only for the wrong things!!!
Hubby is at work till 10pm so its just me and the boys chillin this afternoon…
Hi all, ave just read through all messaes I’ve mssed over last few days, hello to everyone new. do you know I think I have chemo brain already as my memory is dreadful & I haven’t even had chemo yet, have that pleasure(?) to come in new year!
A tip that might help with the night sweats, use an electric fan, it makes you feel better almost instantly & the sweat passes more quickly. If you have it right next to the bed you only need to throw covers off & switch on. If I’m feeling really kind I move my pillow down to the bottom of the bed so as not to wake hubby up.
My op went well had mastectomy & level 1, 2, 3 Axillary clearance (any ideas? just got discharge letter today)
Came home next day with two drains, had one removed following morning by early discharge nurse, and one still draining, but have been told that will come out on Monday regardless of how much it is still draining! Am on antibiotics as possible infection at drain site! Am feeling ok, a bit low at times, when it all gets too much, but expect that is just the anaesthetic!
Bright, hope you are feeling better and that you will soon be home.
Would you believe my next appointment with consultant is on New Years Eve for my results, at exactly the same time as my niece’s wedding! So hubby & I will turn up at hosp in wedding outfits - forgot to mention hubby is wearing a kilt!!! Should be interesting!?!
Anyway lots of love to you all, & am so glad I have finished my Xmas shopping as don’t think I could face it. Still haven’t ordered turkey! they always seem to have loads in shops on Xmas eve. Oh well there’s always sausages! Will stoprambling now and see if anyone will make me yet another cup of tea.
tiredness starting to kick in! Probably not helped by not going to bed till 2am but better sleeping for me the later I go to bed. Know wot you mean about the headache caron, mine is back with a vegence. I call it an ice cream headache coz I used to get awful pains in my head when I was a kid with cold milk or ice cream!!!
Have had a little kip on the sofa then took kids out for nice walk, we’re very lucky, we live on the edge of a beautiful common where there are always lots of deer, so we went in search of Rudolph!!
Now promised them a nice snuggle up on the sofa, gonna light the fire and watch a nice chrissy dvd, and eat rubbish. Feel the need for a large glass of red wine but not sure that would help my banging head so will prob stick to water! oh appararently we’ve gotta wait to football results finish first!
My posh crop is really tingling this afternoon, so glad I didn’t wait any longer to have it cut if it is about to drop out! been hiding under a hat when I went out this morning coz i don,t want people to see the crop as my hot chestnut wiggy looks a lot like my own hair did yesterday, really hoping to get away with it!!!
I know wot you mean about the appetite Shell, my body is telling me fruit, veg and salad, do the right thing, my head is saying no don’t worry about it, it’s christmas one more bag of tangy cheese doritos and dip won’t do any more harm than these damm drugs!! go for it!!!
I havn’t got our turkey yet either ( hope they ahve some left ?)
Where are your drains?
I have got really bad heart burn still ( keeps coming and going Has any one else had this ? )
Just been in the bath
Muv I dont know what 123 axillary is???
I know I am having cleaance
Shelly How on earth you gonna ice a cake ? I cant stand without feeling tired ! ( good on you if you manage it maybe you can sit down?)
Is it just me or does it NOT seem like christmas ?
love Caron x
Hi Muv - so glad your home and you have a tea maker…lol… Im sure all the nurses will love the sight of you and your hubby in wedding wear, they will think you’ve started partying early… Party animals… Ha Ha…
Keep resting and take care…
Jo - you made me laugh… that’s what my brain is thinking, crisps and dip…Mmmmmm
When my hair started coming out my scalp felt like little needles pricking it all the time, i was glad (relieved) when i put the number 1 over it…
When my boys eat ice cream they call it freeze brain when there head goes cold, its a horrible feeling…
Caron - I have bought some ready to roll icing and marzipan, the boys will help me. If i ice it tomorrow that’s probably all i will do all day…
Yes Caron i suffer from heart burn, i have gaviscon on repeat prescription. Sometimes at night it feels like heart attack (well maybe not that bad) I prop myself up in bed, it seems to help…
Just woke up from a nap. Cooked dinner today and had a glass of wine. Am totally wiped out for some reason. Theoretically period is due…but who knows what it will do. have sore throat too and child monster has been coughing…!!!
Caught sight of myself in the mirror today - it wasn’t pleasant. Patchy, thin hair is not a winning look. Wondering if bald is better??
Muv - glad your op went OK. Like the idea of dressing up for the Onc. (I have a bit of a thing for men in kilts!!!) Sorry to be thick…what results will you get when you go? I haven’t allowed myself to think about surgery too much yet, as not sure how they’ll get me in…hopefull heavily sedated. i was a nightmare when I had to stay over when pregnant and that was for a nice result!!
Well we’re off to “Thomas land” at Drayton Mannor tomorrow. Just wanted to do something fun with Kai before I turn into crap depressed and “can’t get dressed” Mummy next week!!! I think I might wear the wig of wonder, rather than scare the small children!! Kai will probably be confused and tell everyone it’s not my hair (he is in that honest stage…tells you what your present is etc).
I forced vegetables down at dinner…which means finishing the box of chocolates was perfectly O!!. Have discovered the world of fruit smoothies…much better way to get the good stuff.
Hi all !
Morning didn’t sleep good last night ( my bloody back , I had a accident about 5 years ago I was doing some gardening 4 a friend and her hubby had filled a wheelie bin up with soil ! ,I tried to move it ,it just fell on me , anyway since then bad back ! ).
Then I had heartburn again … Hey I did have 2 YES 2 beers last night ! ( that hit the spot i can tell you ! ).
I have got dressed today but feellike crap ( again ) . still I think I have been lucky so far ?? ( no sickness ,no metallic).
I have a bit ofa headache today but it’s not as bad .
Shell when are you going for your scan ??? ( is it soon ?, I hope it is good news XXXX ).
Right listen to this then about the lily thingy !! my sis has just started going out with this bloke anyway her son is in the army well he’s on leave atm anyway her boyfriend was round her house when her son pulled all his boxers up ( so eveything fell out ) and Gino ( bf ) was mortified ! ( I don’t blame him The son is 19 !!!
Now gino is having second thoughts about it all ( poor sis ) gino is itallian and has been brought up in a convent and is not used to all this bravado ( mind you my nephew should show some respect ,I would have killed him )!!
Anyway wondering where to get my turkey from they are so expensive this year ??? Love Caron xxx
Hi everyone
Out of the woodwork again… or rather bathroom! Dreadful sickness , went to the hospital at 1pm yest for injection that reduced it to every 40 mins ( felt like a holiday!!!) and then at 9.30pm a friend who finished her shift at 9, drove 30 miles to give me a second injection… and it worked! Such a relief. Next Chemo the hospital have said i should have it as an in patient for 24hrs with a pump to stop sickness… will try anything.
One thing my nurse friend did say is that I must go to bed for at least an hour everyday as it really does help white cells recover… bit difficult over Christmas!!
It never rains but pours in this house… our 14 yr old dog collapsed on Fri eve and poor hubby had to take her to vets at 11pm… she is still in… scans are all fine but she has acute pancreatitus. God know how much this will cost… insurance cut out when she was 12! Shes like a 5th child and the house is so quiet without her.
Meant to be going to Xmas drinks at a neighbour later… will wear my cotton hat if I go as feel better wearing it than wig… feel so self conscious.
I was let out of hospital today much to my suprise. Still suffering from the after affects of the general anaesthetic: operation took 4 hours. When I first awoke I was in quite lot of pain - though not in the breast area, but from the drain sites (I had two a few centimetres apart) in my side. I also awoke with a bad asthmatic attack - but after oxygen and a nebuliser with asthma drugs, I was okay. I slept well the first night - and initial inspection the next morning - looked fine. I had single mastectomy - right side and total axillary node clearance - though no scar under my arm - looks like they sucked or cut nodes out through breast incision. scar is halfway down breast so will not show. I had an expander implant fitted at the same time, which was partly inflated during surgery o not quite flat. Probably an A cup now. The plan is to get inflated every 2 weeks from a month’s time until I acheive right size for me - C cup. I cannot feel implant at all which is sitting in a pocket of muscle - and there is a small port which is where the saline goes in. By evening of second day after surgery - the tissue flap was going very purple - and plastics were concerned skin may be dying. There was talk of a skin graft and possible removal of the implant. I really thought that would happen and prayed very hard for skin to recover, as prospect of more surgery felt gruesome. My hand was also hurting rom where the drips had been in for antibiotics and analgesia had been going in. So could not face needles going into the same place again. Consultant prescribed a nitrate patch (normally used to treat angina) as a last resort to save the skin- which acts as a device to open up the blood vessels. The patches made my skin red - and gave me worst headaches and nausea of my life, but after 2 days - miraculously my skin revived (except for a tiny strip) nd although still looking very bruised it is warm and feels soft like normal skin. This meant that I was released today. I left hospital with a silk scarf stuffed inside my bra - so that I did not look too strange, as do not have prosthesis yet. I have mixed feelings about losing a breast. In some ways I am sad to lose part of me - but I never liked my shape as too large for my frame. Now cannot wait to have the other one lifted and reduced at the end of treatment. Whilst on the ward I began to feel things could be worse as there were two ladies with real prospects of losing their legs from complictations from ulcers. On the second day I could get out of bed and walk around quite easily - and could run small errands for the other three ladies who were bedbound.
All in all I am glad to be home, aware though that I am still only at the start of the journey. Cannot face the thought of chemo - and the hair loss thing: unimaginable - but have already got a long wig on order! Arrives 28 December.
Glad you survived too Muv - did you have reconstruction at the same time? I too have follow up appointment on 31st - and feeling scared about the results…
Glad also that Caron you are survivng chemo - have you lost your hair yet? Are you using the cold cap?
Pleased you are survivng Shelley.
Bright xx
Too tired to read through what I’ve written so apologies for typos!
Aww I am so glad your home ( Bright ).
I’m glad your op is over and done with !!
I am not looking forward to that part but am not thinking of that yet ( I know it has to be done ).
You might be like me and have hardly any side effects ???I have been really lucky so far …
I haavn’tlost my hair yet but it is falling ( not much though yet , but when it does I will deffo no.1 it !! )
Been out today went to get our turkey ( tesco’s in the end ) didn’t feel too well in Tesco felt really dizzy so the next shops we went to I stopped in the van and waited 4 Steve I did go and see Jam though ( Jamie my eldest , he actually let me kiss him ! ).
I have cooked Sunday dinner today as well we only had chicken pies ( very nice they were too ) cos it’s turkey on Thursday !
Then we had a load of lobsters to dress for orders tomorrow ( that was fun ! ) not see you soon GET SOME REST !!!LOVE CARON XXXXXXX
Bright - so glad your op went well (if that’s the right word)?I thought you would of been in hospital for longer, its only been 5 days,good though,its not nice to be in hospital and away from your family.When do you start your chemo and which one are you starting with? How did you feel when you took a look at your op site/ it must of been upsetting, I’m dreading that moment when i have my op… Stay strong and rest,rest,rest…xxxx
Gail - How was Thomas and Dray-ton Manor, hope the weather held out for you. Bet you all had a fab time.You still feeling tired?
Beth - Sorry to here about your dog, hope she will be ok.How are tou feeling now? still sick?Thinking of you.xxx
Caron- You can get half price turkeys from Somerfield, i saw them advertised today on TV. Hows the tiredness going? you coping ok?are you managing to nap when you want?
I feel ok again today,just tired. I cant stop eating pickled onions. For these last few days i have gone through 2 big jars.Its like i have to have them, i cant stop thinking of them, I’m thinking of them now and iv just eaten 10 with a bag of crisps. Its like a craving…whats that all about???
No I’m not pregnant…,
Felt a bit sick this morning ( with a headache Again ! ).
Had to help Steve this morning weighing prawns ( it’s his big delivery this week ).
God my mother has really cheesed me off ! every Sunday we ( me & Steve ) have to go for coffee anyway last week I never went as I didn’t feel well , this week I had to go get a turkey ( or no christmas dinner ! ) so off I go to do my bits and bobs went to see my brother went to see my son ( Jam ). When I went home Chloe ( my daughter ) said Nanna has rung she said " your coffee is getting cold !" Anyway I let it pass then She said to Steve this morning " your coffee is cold !" then she comes in my house says to me " YOUR COFFE IS COLD " ! ( oh get a life mother please I am not 12 ! ).
God she thinks I am 12 honest .
I feel dizzy does anyone else feel dizzy ???
Shell you keep eating your onions girl ! !! Take care love Caron xxx