I know exactly how you are feeling about your lump. How far are you down the chemo route.
After every chemo I managed to convince myself that my lump was not shrinking but growing. My oncologist had the patience of a saint dealing with my paranoia(sp). I agree that the method of measuring is very hapazard but in their defence the lump is inside and possibly very hard to measure. Sometimes mine was done with a sort of gauge thing but if that was not available it was done with a standard tape measure.After 3 chemos they did another MRI to prove that it had shrunk. Over the months mine reduced by about half but it was very big to start with. It has not shrunk at all over the last 2 chemo sessions but they don’t seem bothered. There is a suggestion that what is there now could be scar tissue they will only know following the surgery.
One of the really nice things about being a Grandma is that I can go to the childrens parties without any of the resposibility of organising it! I do so love that aspect of age- I get all the fun of the grandchildren but at the end of the day they usually go home with their parents.
Gail and Caron don’t start worrying too soon about hospital you have enough on your plates finishing chemo.
Guess what ??? on tidying up I found Owen’s bottoms to his tracksuit!! we were looking for his top all morning but was rushing cos we couldn’t find it! found it now he’s forgotten his BOTTOMS !
kids ehh , so he will be in trouble ( they take it serious ) but I rang them up to tell Owen not to worry his bottoms are here and that I can’t possibly take them as Ive got Cancer !!! ( see it does come in handy sometimes ! ), so hopefully they won’t tell him off too much??
Had a lovely surprise today I’d already got pressies from my Ma & Pa but my Dad came this morning with a bag anyway inside was a small individual birthday cake with a candle in !!! ( BLESS ).
The reason why cos I make all the cakes but when it’s my birthday I don’t want to make one plus Steve isn’t here ( he works away ) but he will be home around midnight tonight, so I might make a cake this weekend, I wanted to go to the Hainton with Steve, Jordan, Chloe & Owen and I wanted Jamie & Emmy to come ( Jamie is my eldest who lives with Emmy ) but Jamie hates coming out with us (don’t know why he’s always been the same I suppose I spoil his street cred !).
Talking of childrens parties last time ie was Owen’s birthday he wanted a pinata I filled it with sweets and tell you what I know they are expensive about £9 but boy did we have fun ! we were there all night trying to hit it and we blindfolded each other so Steve kept holding it up so we kept missing !we have fits of laughter !!!
so maybe get one of those ? you wont regret it xxx
Welcome to the forums. I’m sure you’ll get lots of support from the many informed users of this site. I have put for you below the link to one of BCC’s many publications, our Resource Pack for the newly diagnosed, it’s full of useful information, hints and tips. To obtain a free copy just follow the link below and one will be posted out to you, as it’s an A5 binder. Hope this helps.
Thanks for your post Andie. I have to stop myself touching the lump every night!!! But…my breast is much softer so that is good. I just have to stop reading all the negative stories I think. I’ve just had 5th Tax so am in my normal “miserable, no energy” phase and seem to have the tastebud problem you mentioned much more this time! Puts me off food too!! I will try not to think about hospital, but it is hard.
Caron - hope Owen doesn’t have to go out “bottomless”!!! Pinata is a great idea - will investigate. Little monster is quite violent these days so would enjoy bashing it.
Hi Gail, me again banging on about th old Taxotere, it’s really creeping up on me now, I’ve got my first one on Monday! Can you tell me, how bad do you feel the day after? are the effects pretty instant as they are for me on FEC. It’s just that I’ve got Look good feel better workshop booked the next day and I really don’t want to miss it, coz I’m sure my eyebrows and lashes will disappear quickly on TAx. Did yours? My are pretty unaffected thru FEC, maybe a little thinner, but then as my dear mother told me, it wouldn’t do any harm them thinning out a bit!!! Who needs enemies, when you’ve got Mum’s like that!!!
Jo X
Me again, Also is it just me or has anyone else suffered with their eyes whilst on Chemo. Apart from them looking like piggy eyes, really bloodshot and swollen lids, I can’t really focus very well and they feel sore and heavy and dry all the time. They don’t really improve either as the week goes on? Should I be worried or is this normal do you think?
Any undate on Shell anyone? Sent her a text this morning but not had reply, she must be feeling proper poorly. Hope She’s ok.
Jo X
Just about managing to post tonight as somehow the day has caught up with me and I feel so tired.
Gail - so glad you lump has responded to the chemo - and Andie - I can imagine how you must be feeling about the op, but compared to the chemo the surgery will seem easy.
Jo - I am dreading Tax too (but stil have 2 FEC to go)- both because it seems to have a bad reputation of causing things like flu symptoms and the aching bones.
My hair is still attached to my head, and if it is still there on Friday, I’ll use the cold cap again.
Jo I have just finished 4 lots of tax and although we all react differently I can assure you that the problems that you are having with your eyes match mine exactly. I am so fed up with having watery eyes and not being able to focus properly. I put eye makeup on in the morning to disguise my lack of eyelashes and within an hour even waterproof stuff has come off. My eyebrows and eyelashes came off pretty quickly although to be honest they wern’t naturally good before. For me the side effects of tax took a couple of days to kick in not like the 4 x AC I had previously which kicked in by the evening of the day they happened.
Bright you are doing really well with the cold cap. Hers hoping that it works all the way through
A big thank you to all who have sent me well wishes over the last week or so.
I havnt been too well of late,not only do i have an infection in my scar but i also have Tonsillitus which is making me feel like crap.
I havnt been able to talk or see people since coming out of hospital.
I know people will say “how are you” they expect me to say “im fine thanks”…i cant do it…im not fine
I cant bare to look at myself,cant look at my chest or the dressings…i feel like iv been forced to part with my breast and i didnt want it to happen…i feel like a freak and want to hide away forever.
Jo - my symptoms on tax did not start straight away like FEC. I basically feel crap the first weekend after the Tuesday I have it with the aches and then move into some tummy issues. I also get a throat thing. The main issue for me is the fatigue…get out of breath pretty easy. My red blood count has been quite low which does not help. It just means I have taken it easy more and go to bed with hot water bottles and the TV more.
Part of me has preferred Tax to FEC if I’m honest, but I didn’t handle the nausea thing very well with FEC. BUT … have one more to go and I might change my mind. Eyelashes - have a couple left!!! Eyebrows still here (but they were quite thick!!). Hair clinging for survival. Eyes - got eye drops from onc to help with soreness and they did. Tastebuds - abit crap…but enjoyed chips lsat night and mouthwash has helped avoid too sore a mouth.
Bright - if you lose a few strands of hair don’t necessarily give up… It doesn’t mean it’s not working!
It is so so good to hear from you - we have all been thinking about you so much. From where I’m sitting, you have been amazing as you have been through so very much in the last couple of weeks. (I fully intend to behave like a cowardy baby when I get near my surgery!!! Planning it already!! Certainly will not be talking to anyone …!!)
I have no idea what to say to offer support or advice. I just think you need to take some time for yourself now to get over the op and your illness and to adjust to everything. It’s all so much (too much) in such a short space of time. You are trying to process so so much when you feel like crap.
You are not a freak (well… not unless you have some dark secrets you have not yet shared with the group!!!) You are still beautiful, glam Shell!!
Thinking about you and sending hugs and love, Gailxxxxxxx
aahhh shelly - I really feel for you - I had a wound infection in one of mine nr armpit after my lumpectomy and felt really sh*tty - but like Gail says you’ve had so much more waiting and pain even before you had your op - you’ve been through the mill and back and then had it so its not surprising you’ve had enough! Not to mention something like tonsilitis on top…we’re all willing you well again and behind you and thinking of you, take care, mary xx
Just to add my love and best wishes to everyone else. Be kind to yourself. With everything you have had to deal with in the last few months its no wonder that it has all caught up with you. IBC and all its issues are enough to deal with without having to travel so far away from your family and friends for your operation.
Its time to let them look after you. If people offer help let them, you really must take this time for yourself to heal, and heal you will. Take your time to adjust to the new Shell who is evey bit the wonderful woman she was before just different.
If you need to rant and let it all out we are all here for you
Hi all,
glad to know Shelly is with us !
well look at my pic isn’t SHE cute !! she’s my new baby from next Wednesday , haven’t got a name yet for her but thinking of Betty or Amber or Autumn ( or something else? ) I like Betty for her.
So we have been to see her today and also been shopping at Lidl no one seemed to notice my wig? mind you I wasn’t looking at ppl either! ( PPL means people for Victoria lol ).
Made southern fried chicken with salad for tea.
can’t believe Victoria hasn’t had tinned new potato’s before!.
Getting ready for next Wednesday chemo ( last ec yipee ).
right im going to do my brain training now was 80 the first times I went on it ! and then I was 64 so getting better ! love Caron x
Caron you are letting out all the secrets about my ignorance… I realise I haven’t lived until I try tinned potatoes. They will go onto the shopping list in the morning, and will acompany the stuffed lamb parcels I bought from the butcher shop this afternoon.
I spent most of today at the hospital waiting to see the oncologist to find out how I got on with the first chemo cycle, before I go for the second one on Friday. There seems to be a problem with the administration in the clinic - as everyone seems to arrive at the same time, and it is pot luck who goes in first. The appoinment went okay and then it was off to have a sample of blood taken. I assume they will contact me if the count is too low, though apparently this is not usually a problem with the FEC regime I am on at the moment.
By the time I got out I was really hungry - so went with OH to a local cafe and we had tea and a sandwich. Then a short trip to Sainsburys and the butcher shop before taking the bus home. I’d hoped to go the fishmongers also but turned out it is closed on Wednesdays.
Jo - sorry you are feeling poorly on the Tax. I’ve got that to come - but just trying to focus one step at a time.
Gail are you using the cold cap also? If so, are you still washing your hair. Thanks for the encouraging words, and I know from writing to another cold cap user that the loss often starts after FEC 2, but I won’t give up. Glad you still have some hair. Mine is still okay. I decided to take it down today as need to ensure it will be in a reasonable state for cap on Friday. I took 2 hours to gently tease it out and unpick the knots. Hair felt better for it and it is still attached to scalp.
Shell - just sent you a text.
Caron your soon to be new puppy looks such a sweetie - and she will keep you company now through the treatment, and perhaps help you to keep fit. But to me - there is nothing quite as comforting to have a cat purring beside me - and then climbing on to the lap for a sleep.
I’m looking forward to meeting up with Andie on the 24th - and Caron on the 8th… and hope we can all meet up at some stage once our treatments are over…
Shell, great to see you back, thinking of you all the time and sending you lots of hugs and good wishes for a speedy recovery! You’ve done brilliantly, all that driving in the snow to and from the hospital twice, and such long journey’s to, when you’re feeling unwell, you came out of hospital really quickly post op, I was in for a week. So I think you’re superwoman! You probably won’t feel like it right now, but lots of rest and painkillers and probably antibiotics for your poor tonsils and wound, and each day you will start to pick up. Stay strong, the worst bit, the op, is out of the way. Onwards and upwards!
Caron, I’m so jealous! I’m in love with Betty (or whatever you decide to name your new baby!!) The kids keep pestering us to get a dog in our case it will be a Boxer pup, when we get round to it, but i think now is not a good time, Benz my cat will freak out if we get one now!! Is she your birthday present then, if so wow what a prezzy! It’s mine in a few weeks, don’t think my OH will be able to match a prezzy like that!!!
My girlfriends dragged me out last night, kicking and screaming in my awful wiggy, and we went to the cinema! Not a bad place to go really when you’re hiding as it;s dark!!! We went to see “He’s just not that into you”. Great chick flick, gave me a real life, but go with girlfriends, the OH’s will hate it!!!