Hi ladies, hope you are ok and enjoying being indoors whilst it’s raining cats and dogs!!!
Yesterday I went to work with a hat and got the ‘Is it a bad hair day?’ or 'whats with the hat?'many times! To those who I didn’t know I said yes hair is a mess but to people I know I told them. They felt so embarrassed and apologised so then I had to tell them it’s not a problem, they weren’t to know and told them not to feel bad, which in itself was tiring!
I feel I’m spending more time telling people to not be sad or feel bad when really they should be supporting me, but some really do not know how to respond. So I’ve decided ‘Bad hair day!’ is good or just simply ‘Brave the shave!’ as its that time of year!
Day 15 and as I was lying in bed I ran my fingers through my hair and some fell out! I started to giggle and shouted ‘It’s coming out, about bloody time, I’ve got coconut oil ready!!!’ My daughter wasnt impressed at all but I told her to lighten up as I am prepared but she is finding that side difficult! Again, I’m fine but having to put a brave face on for my mum and daughter! At that instance when some hair came out I really was excited as been waiting to see what I look like bald!!! At one stage I stuck a pair of natural tights over my head to see what I will look like!! I looked like a robber!!! We really do need to make light of what we are going through otherwise we would go crazy!
Black Silk nightcap on and I feel more like a nun!!!
Sister Act! We will do it!!!xxx
P.S Morrison’s have Garnier gentle shampoo for £2.50 from £3.90 and 2x£4 large Sanex sensitive shower gel. I’ve been told even with a bare head we need to shampoo it to avoid smell and shampoo the head just like the body.
Lots of love.xxx
CK you are an inspiration. ? And I am now humming tunes from Sister Act.
You know what? I seem to be spending more and more time managing other people’s reactions to my breast cancer. I know it is often due to their simply not knowing what to say, but it does get a bit tiring sometimes. Is that horribly selfish? (I don’t think so …).
Oh CK, you made me laugh about robber and nun! I do admire your attitude, I’m dreading losing my hair when I have chemo. I keep telling myself it’s only hair and lots of people are far more poorly xxx
Feels like ages since I was last on here. Allowed myself one last weekend of freedom/denial before chemo starts on Wednesday.
CK, as ever you’re taking things magnificently in your stride. I think I’ve been pretty stoic since my diagnosis but I know for certain that I’d be feeling extremely sorry for myself if my hair was falling out in clumps. I’m sure it will happen despite me giving the cold cap a go. In some ways I need to lose a bit of hair or I’ll have the worst of both worlds: my real hair looking like manky rats’ tails without the benefit of a hairdryer and hair colour and my wig just perching precariously on my head if I keep most of my hair. May not have thought this through properly… Ha!!
I know what you both mean about us having to comfort other people - I’ve only really had to do that with friends and family so far as obviously I don’t currently look like I’ve got cancer. Not relishing the prospect of mooching round in my dodgy wig having to explain to clients and business contacts. But then every aspect of this disease seems to have been designed to be a challenge ? Xxx
I have had to cope with a few people getting upset but I take this as a compliment, hopefully it shows that they care. I could also mean oh heck that could be me!
I love your attitude CK I hope to be much the same. I have been pretty stoical so far.
I had my recommended dental check today and had a filling between two of my teeth and had them cleaned. I have been assured that everything is now in good condition and ready for chemo. My dentist says that he sees loads of people about to have chemo and he sees the vast majority for many years later. He was very straightforward and reassuring.
I think we will be doing a version from Sister Act at our charity event Ladies!!! So keep those silk night caps!!!
CherryB
Hope your Chemo gets off to a great start and as manageable as possible! Regards the hair I hope cold cap works for you and you keep your lovely head of hair. I can imagine you in your heels, suit and red lips chatting away with the other chemo patients and having them in stitches! Is it this Weds?xx
Chaffinch
It’s good you have peace of mind with your dentist and yes sometimes you do wonder how everyone thinks when they are with you but do we care???To the ones who cry or look upset can be quiet tiring reassuring them rhat I am going ro be mended as if they don’t believe me:0
Jencat
You are right, there are others wirh more serious situations (which makes me so sad)Losing our hair is a small price to pay to be mended! You won’t be too upset if you are in control! I’m not doing cold cap as I’m hoping to have a new head of stronger, healthier hair than my last lot:) Seriously I don’t like the cold on my head! I’ve always worn hats in winter so I’m sorted!!! Are You?xx
Rosie
We are so allowed to be selfish! I found that recently I can’t put up with people’s winging and moment and not as tolerant with people being inconsiderate and thoughtless! I’m also speaking my mind more than b4. Ooops!!!xxx
Haha, Annie beat me to it!!!
I wore a loose fitted cosy top with loose sleeves and a scrappy vest underneath to keep away any chill. Best not to wear a jumper with fitted sleeves as will need to roll sleeves up at some point! Leggings and boots were comfortable enough rather than jeans! My hair was still at a fair length so didn’t wear a hat but I will most deffo will next cycle next week! I wore Ester Laura foundation and ear rings and my ring on the hand not with cannula!
I also took some sweets and biscuits to nibble on and a mate for company and the brews keep flowing! As Annie about 45 mins for treatment but needed to wait a bit before they let me go to see how I felt. I must have gone to the loo 3 times b4 treatment as was anxious. Cannula went in easily after the heat pad which made my veins more visible! Took a bottle of water to drink on the wa t home to start the flushing!!!
Remember to ask for extra anti sickness Amend which you take one hour before treatment.xxx
Where would we all be without this forum? I think of questions and when i come on someone else has asked them and they’ve been answered! Its reassuring to know its not just me!! CK hope you are ok xx i do like the nun and robber thing though xx
Hi Ali
Just washed my hair and only a few more on the floor and the towel. It’s slowly preparing to fall out! I’m resisting pulling them out! I’m ok as I’m prepared! Haha, tights over my head really was something! Got the pics!!! When do you start Ali?xx
Annie, thank you so much for popping back over here with your helpful advice and CK, I knew I could count on you!! Just finishing my mass Autumn clean of everywhere. Will I still be able to do housework with my newly enfeebled immune system or will I have to wear a hazmat suit every time I clean the loo or empty the bin?!
I start next wed 27th CK. I am getting a wig sorted and have bought some bobble hats! I never wear hats or anything so a new thing for me completely!! My hair is short and i really thought i wouldnt be bothered but now like you, i keep trying to see what i will look like bald!! I think i will feel very vulnerable! My daughter is struggling a bit at the mo, worrying about me, so i am doing my best to try to reassure her and be positive about everything. My 2 boys seem ok so i hope they are. Its so bloody hard for kids. Anyway, thanks again CK for your great posts xx
Blimey, not to give something good because of budget is so wrong! Move here so you can have it, haha!!! I was given as a prevention. Tell them you are a sicky person and then they might give you. It wasn’t oncologist who prescribed it, it was the chemo nurse who I saw a few days before treatment started. Ask her instead as her team will be the ones treating you not the onc! Xx
Ali
I’m glad my posts help. You are starting on my second cycle 27th Sept. I’m having blood tests first , then oncologist at 11am, take Amend at 12 noon and then chemo at 1pm. What time is yours?
Tour daughter will be like mine, worried and anxious for us. Boys just get on with it. How old are they?xx
Hi Ali
My daughter had a meltdown last night with finishing her Summer job, preparing for Uni and worrying about me but her anger was aimed at me which quite shocked me as it came from nowhere.
Today we haven’t spoke but it’s for her to approach me as she was out of order! I know it’s hard for her too but I really didn’t need it with what I’m going through and trying not to show how worried and tired I am. We try to protect our children, yet it can backfire. I’m sure it will blow over but it was such a shock and now I’m worried the stress may have triggered something off. Hopefully not! Its so hard when it comes to trying not to worry my mum and her yet I felt like a slap in the face!
Anyway to get out of the house I took my mum to the dentists and we went to Dunelm Mill to get my V shaped pillow and Satin Pillowcase (SueWs advice) £12 for pillow and £5 for the case. I also got a Dorma cotton satin pillowcase £12.99, dear so hope it helps now I’m slowly losing my hair:(
Then took her for a flutter at the casino with my ex!.Its amazing how I have changed and how people change when we are going through this tough journey. In the past I wouldn’t have dreamt of going for a meal with an ex but right now I will take any support I get and enjoy whatever anyone offers! I used to worry about what people thought and what people say but since diagnosis I dont care! Like it or lump it!!! I’ve become a hard woman:0
CK sorry to hear about your daughters outburst and how it has hurt you. The things we do and say to our mums!! I am not excusing her but it is probably due to being anxious about everything. She is watching her mum going through real tough times and going through a massive change herself. It is a time where, if you were 100%, probably all your attention would beon her and everything would be focussed on her move to uni and leaving home! You probably both need to sit down together and have a chat and a whinge - and you need to tell her she was out of order too! Sending you a big hug. I hope she says sorry and you are both friends again soon xxx
I don’t really want to have to wear gloves around the house but if needs be I suppose. I tend to wear them in the garden to stop my hands getting stained but otherwise don’t bother at the moment. I have a great immune system at the moment. I will miss it, no more out of date food either, have been a bit blasé about that since the children grew up
Hi Ali and Jencat
She had came down by the time we got in and my friend had spoken to her. My daughter is quite stubborn but we had a heart to heart before bed. It’s difficult for her too and I understand rhat but she also needs to understand my hormones and emotions are haywire at the moment and no one understands this feeling apart you ladies! We get each other and what we are going through. Anyway, she came anf did yoga with me at Maggies Centre today which was nice for her to see and its involving her. She liked the tea and cakes!
Rubber gloves is a must! A different pair for kitchen and toilet/bathroom! Sanitised too in every room and handbag!!!xxx