Oh those pesky drains honestly. My kids are scared of them 
Thankyou @naughty_boob . Im not going specifically for bulbs, but it might be the right time. Going to Delft ceramics museum and other arty things. I have scars on both boobs, but its not really the scars that are sore, they have healed very well. Anyway i!m sure the radiogrsphers will be mindful, its a great unit.
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Thanks for the votes of confidence re the yellow crocheted flare suit. I agree it is like the sun coming out, the sun having taken a large dose of steroids and hallucinogenic drugs. That said, I have just bought some metallic rainbow striped flared trousers and the only thing Iām on is Phesgo! I blame work.
@fimac1, what a great mindset. Thatās positive thinking, right there!
@pennyp What a great trip to look forward to. Iām still planning to do New York in October if travel insurance isnāt too astronomical. Good luck with the mammogram on Wednesday.
I hadnāt thought about them scanning the old dodgy boob. Iām now concerned that my implant will burst if it gets jammed between two metal plates! Surely notā¦ This is a question for my next consultantās appointment.
@mrsjelly - Stand on the bench in Worthing and slap your arse. Best of both worlds. But donāt then leave my name on it!! 
If you canāt stand on a bench and slap your arse when youāve just finished cancer treatment, then I donāt know what the world is coming to.
Ahhhā¦thereās our @jeml ringing the bell. That gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling. How lovely. You look as fab as ever.
Love to all,
Salbert
x
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@kartoffel I get the not drawing attention to yourself. I dinged the bell in radiotherapy gently 3 times, it was in a corridor with people only periodically passing by. Some staff walked by and ignored me. Iāve seen others have staff stand around and clap. Iām not the type of person to draw attention to myself and felt awkward but tried it. I much prefer the slapping a bench or my arse! Nobody knows why you are doing it but you.
@jeml 
(slap bench emoji!)
You look fab. Love the hair.
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Hi all,
Had my first EC chemo session today, and it went alright. But my consultation afterwards left me feeling like Iām about to wander into some dark places.
Previously, my PET scan picked up one suspicious lymph node, and the biopsy has now confirmed it is cancerous. Iām triple-positive, stage 2, with two smaller tumours in my right breast, totalling 3.4cm. The surgeon said the surgical plan would likely be a mastectomy with the removal of all lymph nodes on the right side.
I know I need to focus on my treatment, but I canāt help worrying about how this affects my prognosis. Does this mean a much higher chance of recurrence? I was just starting to feel a little positive about reaching the end of this tunnel after all these treatments, but now my anxiety has skyrocketed. Will my life ever return to normal?
Sorry for the rantājust feeling overwhelmed.
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Hi @jan30,
Firstly well done for getting through EC number one 
I think the thoughts/worries youāre having are entirely normal and appropriate given the circumstances (at least thatās what the psychologists have told me!). Itās really hard not to worry. Iām in a similar situation I had 2 tumours totalling about 56mm I think, I have several nodes involved and the breast skin so Iām stage 3, Iām only HER 2+ though.
My oncologist is very positive that Iām responding well to the treatment though, and I asked today about recurrence risk but I guess there are a lot of factors that go into that, however he said a good response to treatment helps.
Iām not sure if Iām reassuring or not but know Iām in a similar situation and some days I feel like itās going to be never ending, but just try to take it one day/week at a time. We will get through it, just going to take a while š«¶š»š©·
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@pennyp Ooh Have a lovely time in Holland .I love delft pottery . My father used to have to go to Holland a lot in the seventies when he worked for ADAS. He loved it and would always bring me a traditional Dutch gift back ā¦ I wonder if itās why I love Tulips so much .
@salbert well I love your yellow explosion !! It looks amazing ā¦ 
You have the personality to match , you inject the sunshine into this board
@jeml fantastic news on the radiotherapy 
so is this treatment done bar injections ?
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Iām also feeling confused/overwhelmed. I got a 2nd opinion and saw my surgeon last week. So I have a date for my op on Friday 28th Feb. The guy who gave me the 2nd opinion has given me another option for surgery I am mulling over. He also said the lump may have been in a lymph node and he thinks the lung nodules are cancer as they have reduced in size slightly. He said it may be a different type of cancer so has not gone completely. I still have a lymph node that is 8mm nr my collarbone on the other side. He wants to do a bone scan to confirm thereās no bone cancer. My lump has gone completely as I had a good response to chemo. I will get another CT in 6 mths as thats the best way to monitor the node and nodules.
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@jan30 donāt go to dark placesā¦ Ok, a lymph node being cancerous may not be what we want to hear BUT I want you to view it as a lymph node doing its job and mopping up any little escaped cells. Also, I want you to remember that itās only 1 lymph node. I know somebody who had 16 cancerous lymph nodes who has just celebrated her 7th year with no evidence of disease since finishing treatment. I had 2 lymph nodes affected and Iām a year on from starting chemo. Iām back in the office and back teaching drama and musical theatre and racing around looking after elderly parents and wrangling a teenager. Your life will return to normal and I donāt think the chances of recurrence are much higher. We still have excellent statistics. Today you feel overwhelmed but youāll get your head round it and youāll plough on and youāll come out the other side into the sunlight again. @sooz1 you are reassuring in your solidarity and the reminder that itās 1 day at a time. Just keep ticking them off.
@Linda_Corinne Iām sending you one of my big bear hugs. Thatās a lot to take in. However, youāve had a good response to chemo and it sounds as if they are onto the other areas so you can keep on top of it. 28th Feb isnāt so long to wait for surgery. Whatās the alternative option for surgery?
@arty1 I thought you might approve of the yellow crocheted flare suit and I hope you are on the up now that youāve finished with chemo.
Iāve had trouble falling asleep for the past 3 nights. I was wondering why but then Chris Evans said on his breakfast show this morning that itās all to do with the full moon as he and Vassos Alexander had both had insomnia this week. I mean we are 60% (or thereabouts) water and the moon affects the tides, so why not us? I mentioned this to my boss and my husband who both used a word that starts with bull and ends with sh*t. I think they might be wrong, the bloody cynics! Sleep can be hard when you are going through this bc long drag of a journey, so whether itās the full moon or our minds working overtime, I wish you all a peaceful nightās sleep and sweet dreams.
Love to all,
Salbert
xx
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He can remove the lump and level 1 nodes then whatever else he sees that looks suspicious then radiotherapy to the remainder. He will put in a clip to mark the area that has been removed.
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Ok @Linda_Corinne this sounds doable. My consultant told me that if the tiny nodules in my lung were cancerous then the chemo would mop those up so this is also good news. I hope you are feeling better today. x
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Sorry for my lack of reply. Angela has had surgery and is currently waiting for chemo and radiotherapy.
Shes very positive given that it was all so sudden
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Unfortunately they have decreased slightly so may be cancer but a different type. I guess I may need more treatment if they are still there when I have another CT. I think that is why he wanted to discuss it at the MDT and do a bone scan to check for bone cancer.
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@salbert I donāt normally pay attention to the moon but I just could not get back to sleep for love or money the past couple of nights so I reckon youāre on to something. I usually read something when I canāt get back to sleep but Iām tired of the surprise cancer diagnosis as a plot twist in the last couple of books that I read, so I decided to read a little light non-fiction. I thought reading about British black history and racism would help me get back to sleep but the book I picked was surprisingly engaging, so jokes on me. It was quite a popular book a few years back, so I donāt know why Iām surprised. Itās called āWhy Iām no longer talking to white people about raceā if anyone is interested/hasnāt read it yet.
In other news, Iāve had my 7th Kadcyla infusion today - so Iām halfway done 
Roll on July!
Iāve also decided that cancer treatment and working a full time job isnāt enough on my plate and I think I fancy a run for local councillor at the next election. We had a very controversial planning application turned down a week or so ago and one of our existing councillors called all of us objectors NIMBYs and crackpot scientists because we didnāt want a 5G mast in our back gardens and werenāt convinced by the lack of research of into their safety and now one of us wants to run against her.
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Top tip for getting off to sleep - well it works for me. Download audiobooks from your local library and drift off to someone reading you a story. Preferably something not too thrilling read by someone with a lovely soothing voice.
Or, follow through on your ambition to stand as a local councillor and fall asleep every night from exhaustion.
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Thatās also a good idea. There was one of the American Football commentators on Sky Sports that really should read audio books or do Headspace sleepcasts. His voice was so soothing, I just put the commentary on when I needed a napā¦ 
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I like the sound of that. I shall chase it up. The BBC does a good one too. Itās called the Sleeping Forecast and its soothing classic music then every now and then a man with a divine gravelly bass voice slowly reads bits of the weather forecast.
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