Morning @boobitis - work always a tricky one as you don’t know how you’ll feel, I wonder if there are HR people you can talk to, I think there are obligations on an employer to be flexible over work and cancer diagnosis. @naughty_boob might have a comment as I think she knows a bit about this. @bellbert do share a pic of your artwork, we like pics. 7 days a week is tough working, hope you can sit down on the job a bit. Have a restful bank holiday everyone and take care.
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Morning. I forgot to say, I couldn’t believe your keeping busy list, caving and tank driving!! Quite like the idea of tank driving, but would be scared stiff doing caving, so well done you! Attached are 3 of my paintings, as cards, as we sell them. The dog is my diabetic, almost blind Border terrier.
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Thanks for sharing your timeline it helps a lot. I arranged the HR/line manager chat. If they donreasonable adjustments and let me work from home during my countdown to treatment I will do it if it restarts my sickness pay clock after my surgery recovery. If not I will not bother and figure it out. I know I am still lucky to have the lenghty sick pay anyway. I just feel if I work this dreadful wait period will be easier but who knows. Thanks for good words towards the surgery. Mine is in 4 days and I start to feel anxious but mostly relieved to take the shit out of my body:)
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Thanks @carrie5 I will be definitely talking to HR, fingers crossed they can do a bit of adjustments but you never know what mood the SLT will be in. After all their focus is different but it’s worth to try. Thanks for your advice:)
I am pleased to have helped a little. I was so anxious before surgery, I kept dreading fainting or something. However on the morning I left showering until last moment ( couldn’t put deodorant on, so wanted to stay fresh :)) and then I heard my son shout, we’re leaving in 5 minutes, so rather a dash to get dressed and out of the house, typical me. Anyway, once I was in my cubicle, I seemed to calm down so much. You have nurses, surgeon, anaesthetist, all coming to ask questions, fill in forms, so you don’t have much time to think. I walked into the theatre for my operation and even had a little laugh with the anaesthetist and you couldn’t find someone who had been more anxious/terrified than me! The second operation I was fine, because I knew there was nothing to be afraid of, so that’s why I know you will be fine:)
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Thanks so much it’s so reassuring. I am having a drawing done a day before so will only shower in bits in the morning x I am glad that there is plenty of distractions on the day and then hopefully onto a good recovery:crossed_fingers:
I will keep everything crossed, but nearly everyone seems to have a pretty straightforward recovery. I only took the 2 Ibruprofen tablets next day, in case it would help with any inflammation that needed it, (not that I noticed any) and not because of any pain, as I didn’t really have any. I also had a big bowl of porridge when I got home from the operation 
The only thing I would mention, as I didn’t know, is that the general anaesthetic can cause constipation, it did with me and I didn’t know that’s what it was due to, so didn’t take any laxatives, but I would next time, as that was uncomfortable. Your bowels are sluggish for a day or two after the op, so you may want to get something in, just in case…
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Congratulations on the full pathological responses. As far as the trial, I’ve not heard of this but if it was me I’d search this forum to see if anyone else has participated and maybe even call the BCN helpline to chat it through with an independent nurse.
@hasnae87 sorry you aren’t feeling well, hopefully now a few days later you are feeling a bit better. Please don’t apologise to us for whining but speaking online isn’t always as two way as you might have compared to talking on the phone, face to face or online video.think it might be a good idea to talk to someone. The BCN helpline is a good start and your own team may be able to refer you for some counselling. You have so much going on and would probably benefit from sharing with someone outside of family and friends.
@boobitis it’s really hard for anyone on here to say what you may have in the way of treatment. Your multi disciplinary team will be considering many factors. I had to wait 11 weeks in total before I knew my plan which changed a few times as they eventually found a second tumour in the other naughty boob, I know the waiting is hard but the plan is personalised to you.
@sassy3 Welcome for completing your chemo. Make the most of the next couple of weeks to get stronger for your surgery.
@cass2 I’m so sorry to hear your friends response. Many of us with BC will live long lives and something else will get us. Not the sort of friends any of us want, some people can be so I sensitive and do t even realise what they ah e actually said. None of us can be positive all the time. I’m just over two years from my surgery, nearly a year from finishing Herceptin and I still have down days. I think it’s normal for someone who’s had a live changing diagnosis. I get angry sometimes and then think every pain is something nasty. But it’s not every day. I’m having some more counselling.
@sbee we are always here for you.
@jan30 hope your surgery went well today.
@bellbert Hello, thank you for sharing. So sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Don’t forget to join the monthly chemo starters to be with others going through chemo at the same time. Sept 2025 chemo starters - #3 by loupy
@boobitis I worked in a primary school and my team said it was a higher risk of infection through my treatment. I eventually took redundancy as my brain didn’t work the same. It’s nearly a year since finishing Herceptin and it feels much better but I still have a lot of problems with memory. Probably the hormone blockers (aromatase inhibitors). There is a great charity that support employers and employees Working with Cancer. You are also now disabled under the Equality Act 2010 and works should make reasonable adjustments ( emphasis is on should but if they don’t it’s generally seen as unreasonable). Depending on your contract you will have sick pay/ statutory sick pay, when the later finishes you can claim Employment and Support Allowance (ESA) if you have contributed enough National Insurance as well as Personal Independence Payment (PIP) if you qualify ( probably will with chemo). As far as your colleagues you don’t have to tell anyone but your main manager, they can’t tell others without your permission.
Take care all 
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Hello my friends
I’ve gone AWOL for the last few days due largely to some disappointing GCSE results which threw all my son’s plans up in the air and which has meant some hasty searching for other colleges and seeking out alternative courses for him. Quite a lot of upset too which made me sad but I think we have a solution. Seeing your child so crushed is just heartbreaking, whatever their age.
Then yesterday I went to Buckingham Palace for a tour of the East wing and state rooms which was super interesting. I came home tired and announced that I would probably not go to the summer party at my local pub and that if I did, I would possibly only stay an hour or so. Six and a half hours later I staggered in with no voice, aching feet and distinctly merry. What could I do - it was an 80s band. This morning I had to get up and do the first reading in church which I croaked my way through like an octogenarian with an 80 Rothmans a day habit. What was that promise I made myself about calming down after finishing breast cancer treatment?
I’ve had a catch up on everything and just wanted to say hello and welcome to @bellbert. Not only are our forum names similar but so are our diagnoses only I had 2 positive lymph nodes. My treatment plan was the same as yours unsurprisingly. In a year from now, make sure you wear sensible shoes when you spend 6 hours dancing at your local pub. I didn’t and I am paying the price today. Not being flippant, just reassuring you that there is light at the end of that tunnel that you are just entering. By the way, what stunning artwork. You are so talented and your dog is gorgeous. I took mine to church today for the pet service. She seemed to take it in her stride and was good to bury my hungover head into.
@sassy3 Go slap a bench!!! Everyone will tell you that the fear of the surgery is worse than the surgery itself and that after you’ve done it, you’ll never worry about it as much again. Have a lovely bank holiday too.
Keep going @hasnae87 darling. Thinking of you and willing you on.
@cass2 WHAT THE HELL??!!! What a stupid, brainless, thoughtless and unfounded comment your friend has made. I, too, had some awful comments made when I was in your position and it’s just staggering. Somebody recently asked me if I was worried about recurrence to which I replied ‘If I am going to worry about recurrence then I may as well be worrying about any of the other cancers I could get’. How does your friend know what state her body is in? At least we have a very good idea of the state of our health and have been washed through with chemo. I would say that puts us in a stronger position than someone who hasn’t had every scan going, not to mention ECGs, radiotherapy, targeted therapy. Quite honestly, I would say I am in a lot better health than over half the people I was at the pub with last night. We have this wake up call and we start to eat well, cut down on alchohol (apart from last night 
) exercise regularly and do all we can to give ourselves the optimum chance of living a healthy life. I cannot tell you how many people I know who haven’t had this scare and are still taking their health for granted, aka burying their heads in the sand. Darling, you WILL laugh again, but you are going through a super tough time and that little shred of hope and positivity that you have to struggle so hard to keep alive, has just been thoughtlessly trampled upon by someone who doesn’t know what they are talking about. Disregard her comment. You will get through this time and come out stronger, scarred but wiser. And if your friend persists, send her to me for a 6 hour dance off. Bet I beat her hands down. (Disclaimer: doesn’t count if accompanying music is post 1992.)
@sbee As for your mate, maybe you should send her a few messages at her idyllic retreat reminding her to watch out for mountain lions, mudslides or ticks that could give her Lyme disease. Round your text off with ‘Take care…none of us know how long we’ve got left’.
I’ve had people ask me how long I’ve got left to which I reply ‘Dunno, how about you?’
Good luck for the op @jan30 and you @boobitis. Thinking of you.
And now I have to tackle reading my pension pack as I’m thinking of accessing some funds when I turn 55 in October. How foolish I was, thinking it would just be a simple case of taking out a couple of grand. No such luck.
Have a relaxing Bank Holiday tomorrow everyone.
Salbert
xx
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Hello and thank you, I will join the September club. I am pleased to hear that you have finished Herceptin and as you say, we will all have down days, even after treatment, so thank you for still being here, to support all of us newcomers. Wishing you all the very best in the future.
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Hello and thank you for all your kind words. I have read a lot of your posts from the beginning ( as I have others), so I can get a full picture of the initial diagnosis, if it changed and then the treatment plan and was praying each time you had scans, that they would be ok ( even though I knew the posts were historic and I would shortly find out if they were :)) So in a way, I feel I know you, you have had me laughing my head off with some of your posts and so worried on your behalf on others ( in the early ones). I think you share the journey and feel the emotion, each person is going through. If I feel down, I come on here to read about all the success stories and there are a great many. Obviously I am worried about the result of the CT scan, but I know that even if the news is not what I want, that the game will not be over! I hope you get your pension sorted and I am pleased to hear that you have come up with a plan for your son. I will certainly celebrate for 6 hours in a years time, but I have never been able to dance in my life, ( no sense of rhythm whatsoever) but I may give it a go !
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Thanks a lot. Fingers crossed I will be straightforward too uff:)
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Thanks so much @naughty_boob I will check the website. I do not esnt to plan way in advance but I need to perhaps try to return on remote basis until my treatment starts and as the timelines are long ( I am already 7 weeks in since the diagnosis and only have my surgery) I might return to kick start my long leave a bit later on. I will speak to my line manager after the bank holiday and see if the OH can recommend some adjustments. I love what I do and I teach adults, I can consider part time but I have still so much time till retirement age and need to keep providing for my family. But one day and worry at the time! 
Thanks to all for your replies:)
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Evening everyone - thank you to every single one of you who reached out to me regarding my previous post. The last two days have been hard, both physically and mentally. Thankfully I managed to organise sleep-overs for both my children so they wouldn’t see me at my lowest and I’ve used the time to try so hard to pull myself together for the sake of my kids.
@salbert I’m sorry to hear about your son, and I don’t know the ins and outs but having worked in a University for over 10 years (in recruitment for the most part) I hope I can offer some reassurance. I’ve seen so many stories where a setback at GCSE turned into a real success later on. This doesn’t define your son’s future at all — there are so many different paths, and often the ones that start with challenges lead to the strongest outcomes.
Thank you for your wise and honest words - I really admire the way you see things so differently. You acknowledge the challenges but also have this amazing ability to spot the hope and opportunities and put everything back into balance. I hope I can be more like that someday. I’d definitely put my money on you winning the dance-off.
@naughty_boob I hear exactly what you’re saying - I think even before this diagnosis I had a tendency to overthink everything. How are you finding the counselling? I’ve had one session so far. I’ve been offered 6 in total.
@jan30 Thank you for your advice - I agree that I need to step back and remember that its likely a struggle for others to know what to say to me. I have to say that most people have been positive about the whole diagnosis and have reassured me with plenty of positive stories. Unfortunately I tune those stories out and seem to focus on the ones that validate my fears. I doubt you’ll want to update so soon on your op but I have been thinking of you.
@bellbert your drawings are beautiful!
@mrsjelly yes - I think ‘clumsy’ is an accurate description of what she said. she is also very matter of fact about living and dying, although perhaps that’s because she’s never had to face a challenging diagnosis herself. The idea that I won’t see my children grow up in her opinion broke me. My mind went to a very dark place.
Thank you for sharing your journey so far too. None of the survivors friends tell me about have been diagnosed triple positive, so it’s very difficult to get a glimpse of what my life could be like, and like I’ve mentioned before, most other groups and forums posts focus on only the sad and negative experiences.This is why I only view this thread now as there is a balance of honesty, kindness and hope.
@carrie5 yes, my kids are fantastic - reassuring me that they’ll love me even when bald and look like grandad.
@sbee I am going to try and my damn hardest to make the most of the bank holiday tomorrow. Hoping the fatigue from chemo lessons - what about you lovely?
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Well done @cass2 for bravely trying to climb your way out of the pit and keep caring about others. Absolutely your kids love you because you’re You, they aren’t just saying it. I think our ability to pick out the negative information when we’re worried is just being human. @salbert as always making us smile, of course you’d win the dance off. @bellbert gorgeous drawings thanks for sharing.
I’ve just ordered some ‘marshmallow’ hair colour, it will wash out soon if it looks weird but current hairstyle weird anyway. Off to Wales to climb a small hill next weekend, think its due to rain, wonder if the colour will run?
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Than you. Hope the hair colour works out, it is fun to experiment. Hope you have fun next weekend.
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Morning all, Happy Bank Holiday. Thought I’d say hello 
I’m on the August 25 group too. I’m HER2+. Oestrogen receptor negative. I’m 47 married mother to two boys 15 & 9. I’ve started chemo with Docetaxel and Carboplatin, Phesgo and Pertuzumab. It’s such a surreal situation. I spent 3 hours the other morning reading this forum from start to finish. My second session is Thursday. I’ve been told that I’ll have 6 sessions followed by surgery for a mastectomy then radiotherapy. Your stories have helped me a lot over the last few weeks so thank you for that. I’ve avoided the internet so much but was recommended to join this which has been a much better idea. X
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Hello @emma-jayne and welcome to this exclusive club you never applied to join as we all say, and yes bizarre is a good description of the world we are suddenly navigating. Well done on reading the thread, that’s impressive and yes there’s good news in there although its a place we manage to be pretty honest too as our journeys are inevitably up and down. I was diagnosed last November and have done surgery x2, chemo and radiotherapy, Ive got through with support, distraction, humour and some cursing. I’ve shifted from being a law abiding, ultra sensible person to being a bit more of a rebel and rather more spontaneous. Very best with the chemo, hope it does a great job by the time you get to the next stage.
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Hello @emma-jayne Welcome to the thread and well done for reading all the posts. I think you deserve a gold star for that alone 
We will be there for you through your journey.
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I have cross linked this post for @fairycake
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