I joined the forum yesterday, some of you I have met, Hello Beano, Ceegra and Jess!
I’m Heidi, 26 yrs from W. Yorks mother of one 2 yr old boy and stepmum to one 12 yr old. I work from home as a travel agent in my home office, when 2 yr old gives me chance lol!
WhenI was pg with son, I found a lump. I left it thinking it was a hormnal thing considering I was pg. When he turned 1 it was still there (I didnt breast feed). I decided to take things further and get it seen to. I went to my GP, who refered me to the breast clinic. They checked it out, pulled a few faces and asked me to come back in the next day for a core biopsy (I’d had a couple of ultrasound scans after my son was born) and another ultrasound. It had grown to around an inch and a half in size according to the scan. They did the biopsy and then I had the worst 2 weeks of my life… the dreaded wait. The results came back fine, it was a fibroadenoma, but they removed the lump as it was growing. That I think was 12-18 months ago.
The lump is back, and wierdly, in the same place, just under my scar, and its got big, pretty quickly. I’m sure its will be another cycst, but I’m still really scared, does that sound really stupid considering my history?
I’ve got a GP appnt at 11:50 this morning with the female gp at my surgery. I guess I’ll see what she thinks about it. I’m sure I’m worrying over nothing, but, oh I dont know! I guess I’m just really nervous and not making much sense! (sorry)
Heidi, you don’t have to worry about whether you’re making sense or not!
You really have come to the right place however you’re feeling. I was given the all clear yesterday at my very first appointment but the waiting for that appointment was really awful. I’m so appreciative of the support I got from here. Not one person said, (or typed!), “don’t be silly” or “pull yourself together”. I think we are all happy to give the support that’s needed. It’s not trivial; it’s not silly. It’s a very real anxiety that no-one could really understand unless they’ve been through it.
And you know you can count on my support, (along with everyone else on this forum). I know I’ve said this somewhere else on the forum but we really are all in it together.
Hi Heidi
I am from Doncaster and work as an “at home travel agent” although I haven’t worked since November.
My company have been really really good, no pressure at all.
It is best to get it checked out again, and I have everything crossed that it will not be anything.
Thanks guys, it means alot knowing theres someone other than family etc to talk to.
I have one problem now with the docs appnt… I have my son, and my friends son!! both 2 yrs… how the hell do I get them to sit still whilst I’m there lol!
I keep having moments where I’m fine, then moments where I’m stressed, then moments when I’m upset and I just want to burst out crying. I haven’t told work yet, they know about last time obviously as I needed time off with the op. I’m sure they’ll be fine tho if it comes to that again.
I’ve just moved house in the last couple of weeks so I haven’t worked for a month or so, however been able to work this week as my lines have gone live, been good to take my mind off things!
Thank you for all your kind words and support, you dont know how much it means… well ok maybe you do, lol!
Well one thing to be thankful for, the sun is shining (at last) :0)
Heidi, the emotional rollercoaster is really difficult to handle. I see myself as being really strong and able to handle everything life throws at me, (and it’s been tested a few times!), so it was weird to find that I didn’t recognise myself while I was going through the worry and the fear. And don’t worry if you find yourself posting something here to the effect that; “I’m feeling really positive. Bring it on” and then, five minutes later, a different post saying you’re climbing the walls! I’m sure every one of us will recognise it and understand. And I don’t care how many times I say this but, we are all in it together!
Well I’m back from the docs, she was really nice and reassuring. She could feel the lump with no problem, she said it doesn’t feel like anything sinister but is referring me to get it checked out properly at the breast clinic… so as the title of my thread said, “here we go again”…
Not really sure what to feel anyomre! I’ve been through it all and back again! I guess its going to be easier this time whatever the outcome as I’ve been in this position before so I know what to expect… does that make it anymore frightening… no I dont think so, it doesn’t get any easier, the waiting is a bitter pill to swallow, but I’m sure I’ll grin and bare it as always!
It is indeed a roller-coaster ride. I don’t think having been through it before will lessen your fear and worry. But we are here to throw good luck and you in bucketfuls and cross every available object.
Breast tumours actually take a long time to develop (they say mine could have been there for up to 10 years) so I would say it is highly unlikely your lump is malignant as the area was biopsied within the past 18 months. Your GP is erring on the side of caution, which is great.
I finally have my appnt through. It was for the 25th Sep, which is over 6 weeks away. I called and asked them to change it, and they have brought it forward to the 21 Aug which is great. So heres waiting for then.
Good for you Heidi. Mine might be around then too with any luck. Just waiting for the letter now. I agree with you that it is good to be able to come here and talk to people who understand, because they’ve been through or are going through a similar situation.
You’re right. It doesn’t feel real. I think that’s all the more reason why we are able to support each other so well. Our friends and family mean well, I’m sure but they don’t really understand.
Just wanted to know if I should worry, this weekend my nipple was hurting, like someone was sticking a needle into it, then it would itch like crazy. Thought nothing of it til this morning in the shower, its leaking (my sons 3 now) admittedly it needs a little squeeze, but it looked kind of funny on the end, like it’d gone a little paler or dry or something. The liquid that came out was very milky, but I should let you know, its not the breast with the lump in it, its my other one! (left)
I’ve got to thinking all sorts now, my hubby doesn’t know and I dont know how to tell him cuz he’ll only worry and he’s enough on his plate (haven’t we all!)
My appnt at the clinic is next Tuesday so I have only a week to wait but I will do allsorts to my-self in that time (mentally I mean) .
I just feel like crying… any advice on this would be gratefully recvd. If I’m being neurotic and stupid and need a slap… then please feel free to oblige.