I am in a really surreal place.........

Public Archive
721

Just thought I’d share a positive story with you, which I heard when I was talking to a friend about you - you’re famous, you know!

My friend Katie, who’s going through a second dose of chemo for a local recurrence, was telling me about her mum’s best friend. About 13 years ago she was diagnosed as Stage 4. She didn’t want to know herself but her family were told that the onc didn’t think she’d see the end of treatment. Finally, 13 years after she was told she wouldn’t see out the chemo, she died in December just gone, having many years more than her onc had thought. She saw her children grow up, get married and produce the grandchildren she didn’t think she’d see.

Thought you might like that one.

CM
x

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Glad you liked the Hospice Clare but can understand your worries re being with the kids. As you said, Hospice at Home may be the way to go for you. Did you ask about Home at the Hospice- in other words could they put up a couple of fold away beds for Jamie and Ashy if you did want to have an overnight stay. Maybe one for your Mum too!
Did you get any relief from your swollen legs when you went to see your GP- I hope so it’s no fun when they start leaking. Take care -love Diana x

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Hi there,

Yes It went really weel with the doctors, she referred me to the foot clinic anf the lymphodeama clinic, had a urse in to dress my oozing legs and I have the most wonderful silicon heel guard to protect my cracked heel, wonderfully soothing.

It was an emergency appointment, saw my own doctor and stayed half an hour…so lucky :o) She was a great help, as usual, I couldn’t praise her enough but she says I am like a breath of fresh air the way i call a spade a spade LOL.

LUV to all

Clare xxx

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Clare,
you are a breath of fresh air full stop
Love
Lavender
xx

725

Hi Clare

So glad you’re getting some much needed attention for your legs & feet before it all gets too bad & slows you up. Sending you lots of hugs.

Twinky x

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Hello Clare, I so understand your reservations about the hospice. Perhaps popping in often and making use of their facilities (especially the posh spa) might help it feel more like a home from home. Plus the nurse at home sounds a great idea for you.
I do feel for you at facing the scary bit - I suppose all of us have those feelings tucked away and going to the hospice must make it jump forward to the present. I suppose thats why I haven’t shown my face at our local hospice yet. I’ve been told to go anytime to say hello and look at what goes on but I just can’t face it yet. My sister is a nursing sister at her local hospice and she’s always telling me about the lovely things they get up to. Hmm maybe.
Lovely to have your aunt and cousin coming, I bet you end up have a good old chinwag and putting the world to rights. My sister’s coming up north for the week and we’ll do just that.
CM - what a great story about the friend’s mum - now that’s just what I like to hear.
Anyway Clare it seems you are getting more famous by the day and I agree with Lavender and your Doc that you are an uplifting breath of fresh air for all of us - hope you sleep well tonight
Donna

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Evening all,

Twinky, so sorry to hear you are still feeling rubbish, I can’r remember there ever being a pattern to my chemo, seems so long ago now and it was March last year I started it lol, Brain going lol

I am relived some action can be taken on my legs, she is a really supportive doctor, have known her since first diagnosis and we have great respect for each other. There is nothing more foul than weeping legs Diane, I have a bit of a fobia about them. I lived with my Nan for 5 yrs ans she had ulserated legs and one day I had to dress them as the nurse wasn’t due in for a day or so but the bandages were wet.
As I took the bandage off, it was almost like turning on a tap and fluid just poured out, I had to get a bowl…yuk!!! I am not the nursey type, really squemish about things like that.

I have done nothing but rest today and read magazines. This evening my friend Carolle from the village came and dyed Ashys hair, lowlites red, looks fabulous and she is pleased as punch with it.

I sussed out something to wear for my parents 50th, so have ordered it in a size 18…Errrrrr I used to be a 12/14 but stomach is so big, i just hope it fits. Its a wrap round tunic in purples and black, so fingers crossed it fits.

OHHHHHHHHHHHH my shewee came today…very interesting, not what I thought it was. It like a male extention, so in effect you can aim and fire like them, when attatched. Not sure I would want to keep it on whilst skiing though LOL.

G night all, hope you all sleep well

Clare xxx

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Morning Clare and everyone.

Glad you are taking it easy today and conserving spoons for the important things.
Ashy’s hair sounds gorgeous, hope she loves it.

The outfit for your parents’ do sounds ideal. But why do they make clothes so small these days? I am told shrinking clothes is a known SE of steroids…

The shewee sounds, well surreal, so highly appropriate for this thread! Just looked at the pics on Amazon (other sites are available)… weird! Will stick to squatting behind trees/boulders when I am out on the hills! Which reminds me of a tale a freind tells of her daughter when she was aged about five. They were out in the countryside and and the little girl wanted a wee. Her Mum said, well, go behind a tree. Dutifully she went off, only to come back a couple of minutes later saying, ‘mummy there isn’t a toilet behind any of these trees’. Sweet!

Real Life is very busy for me just now… Lent is a hectic season for minister types, though I love it, so may be posting here less. But thinking of you all daily and hoping you have a lovely get together next week.

Meanwhile, enjoy your weekend.

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Clare, hopefully your legs will calm down real soon, your new dress sounds lovely, we may even see a pic of you wearing it.
Just wanted to say have a fab day on Mon with the girls, lots of fun and laughter, whatever you do though, do not let anyone else wee in your “shewee” xx

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I was thinking of buying a shewee - I will be interested in hearing how you get on with this Clare. I do (or did) a lot of cross country walking, usually to a nice pub and then back home again. This is okay on the way to the pub, but after a few drinks the walk home becomes a bit stressful trying to find somewhere discrete to have a wee.

The claredrops are beginning to fade where we are, being replaced with vibrant crocus and the promise of a good show of daffodils. Lovely warm spring like day here again. My fun car (mgf) has been parked on the drive since November last year. I knew I wouldn’t be able to drive it for some weeks after surgery in December so I declared it off road to save on the road tax. It is now taxed and I took it for the first spin of the year yesterday with the top down (top on the car!) I feel back to my old self with the wind in my wig LOL.

I am going to see my Auntie Elsie today, she will be 98 on Tuesday. She doesn’t know I have had cancer because I didn’t want to worry her. I will tell her today because I am well again.

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend.

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Evening all,

I had a veggie day today, didn’t get up till 1pm which did my legs a power of good as I had put my stockings on earlier, so they are much lighter. Though its hard to have a proper layin after you have taken water tablets LOL.

Other than watch tv I have done nothing…Aisling cooked a lovely roast dinner, I just told her to read the instructions on everything and cook and she cooked, carved and served, I was very proud of her, she did so well.

Jamie has been out all weekend, I dare say he may come back tomorrow lol. My sister Jane is coming tomorrow so it will make a nice change to catch up with her, I think I am going to make redcurrant jelly with her as I tend to make it for all the family so we need a stand in :o) Its so easy to do and I have half a ton in the freezer to do.

Looking forward to Monday, promice I won’t tire myself too much tomorrow. Maybe I’ll test drive the sheewee :o)

sleep well all

Clare xxx

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Supertrouper, this might be a bit late, but I know what you mean about your auntie and not wanting to worry her. I had the same thing with my dad (mum died many years ago) and I just knew that I’d have to be running around supporting him “losing it” at the news, so I specifically decided not to tell him about the cancer, treatment, etc etc. I saw him on new year’s eve 2010 (couldn’t bring myself to say “happy new year” to anyone, knowing what 2011 was to hold) and then just kept in touch with him by phone, either him calling me or me calling him. I saw him again on boxing day 2011, with my newly grown hair, and he and his fiance (they got engaged at 87! Isn’t that brilliant!) didn’t make any comment on the short hair. So I still haven’t told him. And I don’t intend to. As far as I’m concerned there wasn’t anything practical he could do, it would have stressed him out and that would have stressed me out, so in that situation, ignorance was bliss. I don’t see any reason to tell him now, because he’d just feel bad that he wasn’t around to “help” during 2011. But that was actually how I wanted it… So in my mind, least said soonest mended. At his stage of life I don’t want him fretting about cancer particularly as my mum died of bowel cancer 28 years ago. Yes, I know it’s not the same now as then, and not the same type of cancer, but I can’t see the point in worrying him. If he’d asked, I would have said, “oh yes, I got my hair cut months ago!” and leave it at that. Being honest, it was as much for my own mental self-preservation as for his. I know I wouldn’t have been fit to support him as well as the rest of my family through this. Does that make sense?

Just had another surreal evening. Went out with “the aunties” as they are known in my family. My ex-partner had two sisters with whom he was estranged after their mum died. But when HE died, I was able to re-establish contact with them, and they’re lovely. One is incredibly bossy, so I’d decided not to tell them either (couldn’t stand being bossed around about my cancer treatment!) but when auntie No. 2 moved to England, I told her. And she blurted to Auntie No. 1 by accident. Anyway, after me blowing my top at auntie No. 1 when she started to lecture me (since when has she been a qualified oncologist!!!) they’ve been brilliant and don’t pester me or tell me what I should be doing. So when No. 1 came over to visit No. 2, me and 2 of my girlies went up to have dinner with them this evening. And it was lovely. Really enjoyed myself, and was lovely to see them.

Clare, I’ll be doing my bucket of spag bol sauce tomorrow (it’s always better the day after, when the flavours have had a chance to sit and mingle) so I hope you have a lovely restful day on Sunday so we can invade you on Monday without exhausting you. Please make sure you get a shopping list ready so someone or other can take you to the shops, or you can send one of us out to get stuff. I’m sure there’ll be a bit of left-overs for your lovelies to eat when they get in, so you’ll just need to get them to pop it in the microwave to heat up.

I’m really looking forward to Monday and seeing you again, and seeing other people for the first time. But of course you MUST let us know if there’s any reason we shouldn’t come.

Love and hugs to all the surrealists,

CM
x

ps ragamuffin, please see your email.

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So pleased for you Clare that you managed a long lie in, and good to hear your legs are more comfortable. Veggie days are good, and after all your recent gallivanting a few days of resting is what you needed. How clever is Aisling? I’m very impressed with her cooking skills and lovely that she wanted to help. As for Jamie, well boys will be boys! As long as he’s enjoying himself and staying safe I’m sure you’re happy.

Nice that your sister is visiting tomorrow, it will be fun for you both making redcurrant jelly and chatting away whilst boiling the fruit - don’t let it burn lol!.

Incase I don’t get back here before Monday I hope you all have a hoot of a day - I’m sure it will be entertaining, there’s some great senses of humour turning up! Enjoy the party and the food.

Have fun with the sheewee!

Wishing everyone a lovely day tomorrow.

Hugs to all.

Libby x

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This is the current list, but I’m sure someone said they couldn’t come because of appointments (Julie??). Not a problem, but my limited mental ability, scuppered by the evening with “the aunties”, means I haven’t been able to find out who it was, so please speak up.

If anyone else is coming (or not), please copy the list and add (or remove) your name.

Clare - star of the show!
Twinky
ChoccieMuffin (Guildford)
Vercors
Cackles
Alesta (Laurie) (Northants)
JulieD (Brighton)
Nicky08

If there is anyone else who is thinking it might be nice to meet up but you don’t want to say anything in case you’re intruding, I’m sure Clare will forgive me for butting in and saying

ALL ARE WELCOME.

It has already been decided that visitors will be providing all the food and refreshments and will be sprucing the place up before we leave, so Clare has NOTHING to do after we’ve gone other than put bits of left-over sauce in the freezer and smile at the silliness of the afternoon. So if you want to come along, add your name to the list and (as long as Clare’s ok with it) I’ll forward her address and postcode to those who are coming.

Right, as for scoff, I’m happy to provide the bol sauce. Someone else said they’d bring the makings of a yummy salad. Can ONE person please volunteer to bring the following:

* who said salad - vercors? Could be wrong, please correct.
* enough pasta for 10 (we are going to leave leftovers for the little Claredrops)
* cheese to go on top of the pasta and sauce
* something for pudding - 2 people with enough each for 5?
* drinks? Nice squash perhaps?
* drinks? if you like a wee glass of wine, perhaps a bottle of something nice?
* something nice for our lovely hostess letting us take over her kitchen for the day!

A total aside.

COMPLETELY VOLUNTARY
I had a barbie last year and lots of people donated towards the cost of the food. Anything that wasn’t required to cover costs went to BCC.
While Monday is very much a chance for us all to get to meet Clare and others, if anyone wants to make any donations towards the afternoon I’m sure we’d be able to make a payment to BCC.
THIS IS NOT COMPULSORY, just a suggestion from me. I know I’ve had massive support from BCC directly and from the forums they have provided for our use, so it’s just an idea if anyone else feels like saying thank you. I suggest we stick a pot on the table somewhere and anyone who wants to can stick the odd 5p coin in if they feel like it. There won’t be anybody watching or actively collecting, and there will be no pressure on anyone to contribute as the point of the afternoon is to get together, not to do BCC fundraising. If that happens as an aside then that’s great. But NO PRESSURE, honestly.
Just thought I should mention this, so nobody feels pressurised or embarrassed about it. As I say, there will be a pot knocking around for contributions, but there won’t be anybody “watching” the pot.
(Sincere apologies if anybody feels uncomfortable, that is absolutely not my intention. Just thought I’d bring it up “up front”.)

I’m really looking forward to seeing you all on Monday, I have a silly grin on my face at the thought of it. I was bad enough when it was just Clare and Twinky, but lots of people I haven’t met yet, and I’m like a little kid.

See ya Monday, and chat on here on Sunday.

Sweet dreams all,

CM
x

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CM, I’m happy to hear how much you are looking forward to Monday, you will of course have a ball. Wish I could join in the fun and meet everyone but Oxfordshire is a LONG way from Yorkshire.

I’m looking forward to reading all about the day.

Libby x

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CM put me down for a bottle of fizzy a salad , dressing , pudding , cheese , ANYTHNG.
Can you PM the address?
See you Monday!!! ###%%%%%%%%€€€€¥¥¥¥#### how does RevCat do it.
Cackles

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Hi

Still hoping to join the gang Monday although feel like I’ve hit a brick wall in the last 12 hours so maybe the injection does have SEs after all. Put me down for pudding duties. I think there was a mention of further pancakes too so will also do the choc sauce again. What time are we meeting? Best that at least one of us has your mobile number do we can warn of any last minute problems if Clare is unable to have us or if any of you get lost/ transport issues!

Hugs

Twinky x

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Hi there,

I promise I shall be good today and not get too tired out. I woke up a very happy bunny this morning as for the first time in a few months i moved my legs on there own in bed, they are so much lighter and I even lifted them up straight out…its wonderful not to feel like a beached whale and be able to move. They are so much lighter too, if all it takes is a few days complete rest I will behave myself and factor it into my day as it has obviously made walking easier :o) :o)

Prep re Monday sounds like its nearly sorted, I like CM am really looking forward to it. My XOH was a bit funny about it when I told him about have 8 ladies whome I had never met round but then he is generally very distrustful of most things…so I wasn’t surprised.
You are all very welcome, it will do me the power of good and lovely to meet the people who have been such tremendos support, I wish I had a helicopter to come and fetch the rest of you…Scotland down to yorkshire etc :o) I hope you are feeling up to it Twinks but please don’t feel bad if you are not as you have to look after yourself at this chemo time and let your body dictate what you can do.

I’m off back to bed again before my legs get fatter, so i’ll get those sexy stockings on fast :o)

Laters…

Clare xxx

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Clare, so glad so hear that your legs have slimmed overnight… and that you may have found the secret to keeping them moving.

Sounds like a trully splendiferous day planned for tomorrow. I do kind of get where XOH is coming from - it isn’t the norm for gangs of people who’ve never met before to descend on someone’s house bearing food. But then that’s the point, this is not the norm, it is Clare’s Surreal World and normal is not how the world thinks of it. I think it’s all rather wonderful actually. Let’s hope he will be so blown away by they day that he starts to ‘get’ it a bit.

CM I think the little jar sounds a great idea… just a shame I can’t whiz 5p coins (or even 10p ones :smiley: ) through the ether to Oxon from here.

Tomorrow I will think of you all as I chill in Glasgow (have the thrill of taking all my recyclables to the recycling centre, no kerbside collection for my flats :frowning: ). And I will raise a toast to the Surreal Ladies somewhere around lunch time… when I will eat pasta and sauce followed too.

So, hope you are all chillin’ toaday and conserving spoons for tomorrow. I pinched a few from Benchland for you just in case…

----o
----o
----o
o----
o----
o----
______) (ladle for sauce)

______} (pasta draining spoon for spag)

~~~~ 0  
~~~~ 0  
0 ~~~~  
0 ~~~~  
0 ~~~~

Hope that's enough to be going on with!

Remembering you all in my prayers this morning as always.
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Morning Clare and RevCat, it looks like the others are still snoozing. I was awake at 1 am onwards scoffing Jaffa cakes…poor diet. My problem is once I get my head in a book…the next thing it is morning. I shall have a siesta. We should have been moving the cows today but it is too wet. They are staying where they are for another week.
Clare it must be great to have the pins going down a bit…I will not have to hang you upside down tomorrow after all.
Your poor XOH is very rightly trying to protect you from a mob that will tire you out and leave a mess… I promise we will all bring our Marigolds and slippers. If there is any shopping you need for later in the week I can nip into Bicester very easily.
Have a really good relaxing but happy day today.
Cackles.