Your rant made me smile as it sums up so much of how I feel at times and now I don’t feel like I am completely loopy. I swear the next person who tells me I look well or they like my hair (wig) will have a very sore nose.
I’m another one dreading Christmas I am so unprepared and really wishing it wasn’t going to happen. Last Christmas was the start of a nightmare year for our family which I’ve no wish to remember and I don’t think we will ever be able to celebrate it in the same way again.
I could see me making very good use of a rant and rave corner.
Jackster, did I read that right, you lost your mum just 2 weeks ago? Hy heart goes out to you, you have such a lot on your plate. I lost my mum when I was 18, over 30 years ago, but its still tough sometimes, especially going through my treatment this year. To cope with a bereavemetn at the same time is just too cruel.
As others have said, these threads are a safe place for us to come and rant / rave / vent our frustrations and anger whenever we want. You wont be judged and can always find someone who ‘gets’ how you feel.
Take care and big hug to you
Joan xxx
Oh Jackster, my heart goes oyou to you. I am confident there is not a woman on here that does not agree with the way you feel. I certainly do. We become people pleasers and the time now is to please ourselves. Goodness knows how you are coping at this time after losing your mum! Rant and rave as much as you like, there are loads of us here to help prop you up when you need it.
christmas is about family and keeping a roof over their head is about their security and that’s more important than any presents.
there is no way to pretty up this awful illness, people say things to cheer you up and we all find it hard to admit that our thoughts are deeper and darker.
take care all of you and I hope that our rants will be accepted and supported.
love Kay x
How is everyone coping ? I have been checking threads that I am linked to and was just thinking of you all. Did we get our Rant and Rave Corner ? Maybe this year is the one when the forum gets easier for us all. We love coming on here and getting and giving help and advice but we certianly need it to much easier. This shows by the fact that we have not kept in touch enough.
Praying that 2013 is a year when we make positive changes to our lives so that we are as happy as we possibly can be. Tracy xx
Tracy i had my first counseling session yesterday. I thought that it went well but last night I could not sleep. my mind was racing, it was horrid ! When are things going to get better?
Xxx
Naz, I empathise with a racing mind and not sleeping. Most nights it’s around 5.00am before I fall asleep, consequently I’m in bed until mid morning. One day last week I literally didn’t sleep at all, just had an afternoon nap.
My active treatment finished last May! I don’t know what can be done…I’m hoping when better weather arrives to be more active and maybe sleep better.
Hope everyone’s surviving the snow and cold. It’s pretty bad here in Yorkshire.
Take care all, and wrap up well.
Hi libsue
Sorry you are also experiening ‘racing mind’ syndrome…it is a nightmare isn’t it.
Relaxation and training the mind is the key i think, but i have not mastered the art just yet.
My main aim at the moment is to sleep -then i think i can cope with the other stuff better.
Cold here in Cheshire but snow thawing slowly…
Bye for now
Nax xx
Hey ladies
Rant away, u can do that here, n to be honest we have all felt that way
I’m two years post treastment, OK, that’s finished, but its replaced by new worries. Follow up appointmerntrs. Trying to slot back into as job you’ve been away from.worry it will come back
I lost my mom in November, n Xmas was awful, I watched her suffer different types of cancer. We had treatment the same time.
I’m still me but different. I read once that as cancer DX is actually facing that bus comment, not just seeing it.
People say west they want to hear, you’ll be OK, thasts cause I can’t cope if your not, they are also glad its not them. Only hair they say, , shave yours off then,our shut up about your roots lol
Mwah, xxxx keep ranting hun, it gets u through
hi
im new to this,i was diagnosed 3 yrs ago with invasive lobular carcinoma with 2 lymph nodes involved i now have a lesion on my right lung just wondered does anybody else have this have to wait till march for another ct scan to see if the b****** has grown before oncologist will comit to telling me its cancer…
sorry if on wrong page not sure were to go
thankyou xxx
I feel the same way. I was so positive in the beginning but am sick of having spend time cheering people up all the time. I prefer my own company and just concentrate on myself, my husband and our 6 adult children. Only one child lives close to me. The problem is I am so used to caring for everyone else when I am told to put myself first it is a foreign concept to me! I overdid it at Xmas and got an infection under my mastectomy scar which has taken 3 lots of antibiotic treatment with pills and a week in hospital on intravenous antibiotics. I am so sick of the wig and the heavy prothesis. And people telling me I should be grateful the cancer was caught early. I know all that but it doesn’t make it any easier. One lady described it as being like a shipwreck and we just have to rediscover bits of ourselves and put ourselves back together in a new way. Sorry for the ranting but thank you for letting me get all this out.
I am so sick of this cancer and having to cheer people up all the time. I hate the wig and prothesis and am fed with people saying you are so lucky the cancer was caught early. Put yourself first I am told. What the hell is that. I feel selfish turning down invitations but I just can’t be bothered. I just want my family with at this time as I haven’t got the emtional strength to cope with small talk and chit chat. I don’t want visitors - esp unexpected ones. My home is my santuary - no wig and no prothesis! Hugs to all of you and thank you posting such helpful comments.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Tamarin
Welcome to the discussion forums, it is good to see that you are already finding them helpful.
I just wanted to say that if you find you need to discuss things with someone independent, do call our Helpline. They’re open weekdays 9-5 and Saturday 10-2 on 0808 800 6000.
Do give them a call if you need to.
Kind regards.
Louise, Facilitator
Agree with you all. People say ‘some people have had it worse than you, yes I know that, and I am grateful. But it’s not a competition. We all have BC of a type, all go through illness and discomfort and fear. Have the embarrassment of no hair, constantly dripping nose, frankly exhaustion!
Just let me feel down when I want to, lost my mum when she was 69 to cancer and I am 59. So many what ifs wander around n my head. My YD whispered ’ it will be alright mum won’t it’ Christmas morning. I still cry when I think about that first evidence of her doubts.
I have finished my chemo and about to start rads, you think all good and then you hear of another precious lady that thought she had made it and this bxxxxy awful disease came back.
Sorry to be depressive but I needed that rant
Kay x
Thank you Louise. I didn’t realise both comments had posted. A nice surprise. I am grateful for all the support I am getting. Since dx last July everything has changed so much and at times it is hard to find the positives in life but I do try. I am on a different journey to what I was pre diagnosis and am trying to deal with the changes and challenges. I appreciate everyone sharing their stories - good and bad as it does help put a lot in perspective.
Cheers to all you fabulous ladies!
I’m so relieved it’s not just me! And that sounds so selfish, sorry. When I was feeling really ill during treatment I would look forward to the stage I’m at now, active treatment finished just the tam and the check ups — and the constant worry! And I know I have nothing to complain about, but some days I just feel so damn fragile.
Crikey, it really does help to rant it all down!
Just adding another rant. I try to be positive so much of the time but it gets on top of me. I had BC three years ago - bilateral mastectomies, discharged from follow up april 12, husband left me in summer for someone he had been having secret affair with over previous year (after 21 yr marriage), in november I found recurrence in arm pit, now just had clearance (on going complications & painful cording), on zoladex & starting arimidex. My mother has terminal cancer (leukaemia) and needs support. have 14 yr son at home. I feel so abandoned and betrayed by my husband still as I go through all this treatment on my own - and going through divorce and complicated financial stuff. still waiting for results of scans to see whether I have secondaries or not. my mind is almost bursting with sadness, worry, grief for my mother, worry about my father (he has prostate cancer at 88). I know I should be counting my blessings - I know they are there somewhere (my lovely grandchildren) but its just that we don’t have BC in isolation from all the other sh*t that goes on in our lives so it all gets tangled up doesn’t it? thanks for letting me blow a fuse!! Hugs to all fellow-ranters
maggyx
Oh Maggy
just sending you some super sqidgy hugs and love - I so feel for you lovely lady. It is our secret fear that after all the sh!t that BC brings… to be betrayed. And then having to give out when sometimes it feels like there’s nothing left to give.
I so hear you…
love Lozza xx
PS
Apologies for using the brown word! 
Maggy I am sitting here with tears in my eyes after reading your post I can not do or say anything to help you (I only wish I could) but I just want to send you buckets load of gentle hugs and know that I also send you lots of love, keep on ranting if that is what you need to do, my thoughts are with you xxxxx
Hi Maggy
It sounds like you’re having a pretty tough time at the moment. As well as the support you are receiving here if you need to talk things through please do give the BCC helpline a call and chat to one of our members of staff there. Here you can share your feelings with someone who will offer you a listening ear as well as emotional support and practical information. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9 to 5pm and Saturday 10 to 2pm.
Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator
Meggy your husband is a bas***d. He doesnt deserve to breathe the air that you do. You should get a picture of him and throw darts at it. You should also throw darts at a picture of cancer cells.
You will get through this and you will be more stronger and more beautiful than before - Go, go, go, go.
Big hugs and love to you x