Hello… I’m 55, single, I pretty good health about from odd menopause symptoms and IBS and was shocked to find a large lump in my breast two weeks ago after a bath.I’d felt nothing up till then and it was so obvious… Where in earth could it come from as I’d recently bought a new bra and hadn’t had it then.friends told me it would be a cyst as it had cone so quickly so got appointment at surgery next morning and off to breast clinic five days later to have mammogram and biopsy.Went on my own, unconcerned really as sure they’d just drain it called back in to be told its not a cyst and that its looking very bad…then remember being told about chemo and surgery but didn’t really take it in…feel like I dreamed it or misunderstood. Going back tomorrow afternoon for biopsy results but it seems like a done deal.been so all over the place this week…yesterday able to tell a friend that it seems likely I have cancer and today breaking down to my yoga teacher when telling her about my biopsy. I have two grown up children, two grandsons and live alone which has some benefits in these circumstances but also terrifies me…I just make enough money to get buy on…have only been in a new job a month so don’t know what people do about work…I only have myself to rely on although I have a wonderful family they have their own lives and no one with me on a daily basis.want to get tomorrow here but dreading it too. Maybe I’m jumping the gun? Just realised how I love my life. Sorry for the long post. Teresa
Hi Teresa ,it’s a terrible shock isn’t it particularly when you weren’t expecting anything sinister .Can you take someone with you to your appointment tomorrow to listen and ask questions ,it’s really really hard to take it all in,I remember very little of what I was told when first diagnosed.Some people do work during chemo but it depends on your work and how flexible they can be ,also infection risk ,your employers have a duty to be flexible when you are having treatment .Macmillan site has a helpline re money and work and some info re finance etc if you want to have a look see if it’s any help. Let us know how you get on ,lots of support and advice here from people who totally understand .Jill
Hi Theresa I’m really very sorry it looks likely that you will find yourself in the BC club along wth the rest of us. It’s a really hard thing, waiting for results & your treatment plan. I was exactly the same as you, 100% certain it was just a cyst, because I’ve had them before, & then bang those dreaded words directed at me. It didn’t feel real & I was totally numb. We walked out of the hospital & said ‘whatever do we do now?’. When we got home we were in shock & my husband kept saying ‘what are we supposed to do?’, well of course there’s nothing you can do, but wait, so I made him cut the lawn whilst I got on the blower to my closest friends. I’m pleased you have shared your news, especially if you live alone. It’s very easy for your mind to go into overdrive whilst it tries to make sense of it all. You will calm down a little, so please be assured of that. Do you know any people who have had it? If not, try & get people to introduce you by e-mail if they know people who have. Some of the most useful e-mails I got were from 4 friends of friends, who reassured me that I would get through this, not nice at all, but manageable. It enabled me to ask questions only those who have been through it would be able to answer, including one with my exact diagnosis (you get with biopsy results & then confirmed after surgery) who was 15 years post her experience. Big hugs. Ask us anything you like, we all support each other. Xx
Hi and thank you for your quick replies.my afternoon job will wait for me as I’ve been there a long long time and the mother of the special needs young man I work with has said she’ll still pay me enough to get by somewhat.The morning job is cleaning and early morning set hours do that’s different.I’m being taken and picked up by a friend but going in my own…nothing I can do about that.my best friend has terminal ovarian cancer.there is no cancer in my family at all.my daughters will cope but don’t know what on earth to tell my 89 year old dad…would like to tell him as little as possible but worried as I’m telling people he will hear from someone else as he’s still active and goes out shopping. He lives close by like all my family.yes I’m a bit of a blabber so would prefer to tell people if I can.obviously its wakingalone and in the night it will get me.thanks so much for listening.
If you are going on your own ask them to write things down for you and you can look up more info about what you have been told after the appointment ,you will also be allocated a breast cancer nurse who you can ring to talk through any worries.The telling people bit is very hard ,I told very few people and I found this worked for me but everyone is different and if you have chemo it is very hard to disguise you are having treatment ,could you tell your Dad once you know what treatment you are having and what happens next?
Hi treeze, if you are going to the appointment on your own, it might be an idea to ask if you can record the consultation on your phone, a lot of health care professionals are happy with this, but obviously their consent is needed first.
So sorry you find yourself here, the initial diagnosis stage is always the worst, but does get better once all the investigations are done & your treatment plan is in place.
Like you, I found telling my 82 & 89 year old parents the worst part so I did this after I knew what the treatment plan was & they were great about it which was a relief, obviously, you will do what you feel is best.
take care
ann
x
So glad I found this forum.I know everyone’s different but how soon do they usually start treatment? I just remember being told as my breasts are small…34b-c I’ll probably need chemo to shrink it before surgery.How long does the whole process take if that’s not a silly question?
Good luck with your last one Ann,end of a long journey ,hope you have something nice planned to celebrate.
Well, just under two hours until my results…have gone through feeling jittery, anxious, calm and disbelief so far today.Am watching a DVD until I leave.I hope I’m prepared for this…I’d better be!
Hi Sue and everyone here just waking up on my first day after the news.Yes it’s cancer which has gone into lymph glands.I have an appointment on Monday to discuss starting chemo for a few minths- that alone shocked me- naively I thought one or two sessions then op- to try to shrink it so op will give a better looking result then op about December time.I know it could be worse…think I’m more upset about losing my hair ridiculously as its nice and thick and I’ve always liked it.crying thinking about it.yes been assigned a nurse who seems lovely.I can’t help but think if by some miracle I’d had the all clear I’d never complain or worry again about little things in life but easy said.she said if I can work it will be good for me and I asked if I’ll be ok managing living alone… Really don’t want to have to move in with family but clueless really of how bad chemo makes you feel.I have to know if I can turn up for work or not, can’t just not turn up as they’d need a replacement etc.anyway I’m rambling… Didn’t have too bad an evening as my friend took me out for tea and they I had acting rehearsal I’m on stage tonight it’s going to help so much having you all here…thank you sorry for the long post.x
Sorry you didn’t get better news Teresa.There is no much to get your head around in the beginning .On the hair front some ladies have had good success with the cold cap so it may be worth asking about that .There is lots of information (top tips etc) in the chemotherapy section and monthly threads for people starring chemo at same time to offer each other support and advice .
Hi Treeze, gutting news but there is a lot that can be done to support and you are now in the best hands. I utterly get about the hair loss; I’ve been having bright red hair for a few years now (with dark roots) and it’s my distinctive feature. As I normally have my hair done again around this time of year, realising about my hair going to go was one the first things that made me cry.
im definitely going to try and cold cap, but if I need to bite the bullet and have it all shaved off before regrouping and doing it next year, then will do that.
take your time and post here when you need. We’re all supporting each other xxx
Thank you so much for that Sue…taking the trouble to send me information and everyone else here.So much uncertainty but feeling strong.glad I found you x
Treeze sorry to hear you are going down the chemo route. I think I would have been fine on my own except the evening after the first FEC, when you’re not sure what’s going to happen. If you can get someone to at least to collect you (I believe most hospitals have volunteer drivers if you have no one available) & stay with you that night it would be a good thing I think. The night before chemo is very nerve wracking, sort of fear of the Unknown, but the actual giving of it is not that bad once the cannula is in. The nurse usually sits with you throughout the first one & you have the opportunity to ask questions. Mine told me all about her love life & experiences at a dating agency. By the end of chemo she was moving in with a man she’d met … Yep that’s how long it takes, then a little while longer after to recover. Mentally, you will feel a lot better once chemo gets going because you have a plan & you move into ‘getting through it’ mode. Join the chemo thread for July (if you haven’t already), drink 2/3 litres water the day before, day of & day after chemo. It makes a HUGE difference to the side effects. All the very best. Big hug coming your way. xx
Treeze re hair, I’m right with you on that one. It really was the worst bit for me & it takes a while to grow back. I did the ice cap, not that bad for me & I had 13 chemos, so I never had to see myself bald, but I still lost 50% of my hair & cried like a baby when it started coming out (day 16-20 after FEC for most of us). The only words of comfort I can offer are that although EVERYONE on our thread shed some tears, the ladies who went bald did say they got used to it very quickly. They didn’t have the endless hair stress we did (will it go/won’t it, how often should I wash it, greasy hair (yes you’ll do anything to keep it) & no styling whatsoever). If you love your hair why not give the ice caps a try? Top tips are: get a machine if there is one, take cocodamol an hour before it goes on, put conditioning oil on before they put it on, drink hot drink during the brain freeze, which lasts approx 10 mins. After that your skin’s numb & it’s ok. You won’t know unless you try it. xx
Hi…5 in the morning and all night I have had a pain from the lump…sort of a pulling twingeing feeling which has kept me awake. Sadly I have a low pain threshold too and pain soon makes me feel sick.I’m due on Monday for my first proper appointment. Is this pain usual, should I be worried and can I ease it somehow? Thanks anyone x
Thanks its the actual lump which is throbbing.biopsy was nearly a fortnight ago.my appointment is to discuss the chemo and whatever they’re going to be doing next.
Feel as if I’m spending a lot of time here at the moment but my personality is a blabberer…so getting it out in the open helps… plus I act so have to be in touch with my feelings 
I don’t like feeling so vulnerable though…was telling someone at work this morning and burst into tears.I think that’s why I’ve put off taking my daughters to appointments as I don’t want to break down and don’t seem to control it very well.I’ve always liked control and hate being ill for more than a day or two.my best friend is terminally ill with cancer and has enough to deal with.maybe I should start a blog x
Hi Varsha,it’s something we all know can happen at anytime after first diagnosis ,blooming depressing .You haven’t done anything wrong ,this is why so much research is going into looking at why women get reoccurrences .Hopefully you will get another successful result but horrible to have your life disrupted yet again .You should shop around for travel insurance ,there are various threads on the site re companies who will cover ladies in active treatment .
Insurancewith have a policy devised by a lady who had breast cancer .Yes ,doing it once is crap doing it twice is not fair .Feel free to rant here !!!