I thought you may find it helpful to know about some of the other support services from Breast Cancer Care for secondary breast cancer along with the support you have received here:
There is a secondary live chat on Tuesday evenings, this is Breast Cancer Care’s online chat facility where you can talk to others in real time, it’s from 8.30 pm - 9.30 pm on Tuesdays. It is facilitated by an expert moderator and a nurse who are on hand to point you to sources of help and information, for most people, the chance to talk to others in a similar situation is what counts, again, for more information follow the link below:
The following link will take you to Breast Cancer Care’s publications about secondary breast cancer which you may find useful to read, there is also a DVD called ‘Living with secondary breast cancer’ which has been recently introduced, you can order these via this link or by contacting our helpline on 0808 800 6000:
I hope this information is helpful to you, please don’t hesitate to contact us either via the website or the helpline for more support and information.
I am also in my 40’s - I will be 47 in two weeks time. My primary was diagnosed when I was 41, then my secondary to my bones aged 44, I have felt well and lived a normal life until I was diagnosed with a local reoccurence in November to my other breast so I am now half-way throught Taxotere (which is tough but so far yielding good results) but I very much hope that once I am through this chemo that I get back to normal until the next problem occurs.
Secondary diagnosis I think gets a bit easier with time. There are supposedly lots of new treatments in the pipeline which I hope we be useful to us in the future. Try to keep hope and positive outlook.
Am I too young?? I’m 37, original diagnosis at 30 mets diagnosis at 34 and Im hanging in there for 40! Im married with 2 teens, so dont think your alone, theres lots of support here for you
Take care
Sue xx
Another one here ! I was diagnosed in July 07 aged 42, bone scan in Aug 07 showed signs of bone mets. Not been at work since diagnosis but apart from the side effects from the treatment, I’m fine really.
The secondary diagnosis has not been difficult for me - they told me in a very positive way. I have been told I have a 20-30% chance of surviving 5-10 yrs statistically but I plan to be in that percentage and work on the basis that treatments and research goes on all the time and there’s the old cliche of you could get run over by a bus any day and you don’t live your life by that. The thing I have done is apply for retirement from work as a long shot. I don’t have any kids.
I do keep a practical outlook and don’t put things off whilst not being reckless either.
Everyone has different ways of dealing with things in life and those ways change as well. Hope you find useful stuff here.
Thanks for that - wonder why it takes soooo long ?? Would have thought they could just put something into it, it turns a funny colour and bingo !! But then I hated science at school !!! They have told my mum that with the 3 sisters getting it and me, it looks a strong possibility that it is genetic. If I do have the gene it doesn’t scare me now, having had the cancer if you follow my thinking. It might not help me but will help the research to have stats.
Hi Cathy
Yes, I’m also in my 40’s. Primary dx at 41, secondary bone mets last year aged 46. I have 2 teenage daughters and it has been harder on them this time round (even without the implications of mets) as they understand more. However, after chemo last year I’m getting back to ‘normal’ and intend to grab every moment I can! As everyone else has said on here we’re a friendly bunch and if you ask anything you’re bound to get a reply. Take care and I hope the shock you must be going through gets a bit easier.
Nicky x
Hi
Another one - I was 43 (2005) when diagnosed and am now 47, nearly 48 with 11 yr old twins and 8 yr old son. I was diagnosed with secondaries in Sept 06 although had skin spread 8 weeks after my mastectomy in nov 05.
Please post your questions and fears. It must seem quite daunting and reassuring at the same time that there are so many of us living with secondaries in our 40s.
This is a very supportive site especially here in the secondary forum but I’m probably biased as I use this part of the forum the most!!!
Please don’t be put off from posting as from quickly glancing through this thread, it does come across we know each other quite well but even though I was diagnosed with secondaries quite a while ago, it’s only been in recent months that I’ve been active in this part of the forum and everybody has been fantastic and been made to feel very welcome.
Please don’t worry if your question seems ‘daft, petty or not as important as what others are going through’, we’ve probably all asked a question like that at somepoint and nobody will think lesser of you. We are all very welcoming but of course, hate to see yet another young woman being diagnosed with secondaries. It is such a shock and so worrying when you have children.
The ask the nurse service has been very helpful to me and I really enjoy live chat.
Please post when you’re ready as it takes a lot of courage to put a question up - I still hesitate about posting my questions even though I know I will get lots of supportive and helpful replies but am happy to reply to others questions without a second thought.
Look forward to hearing from you or about you and hope you are coming to terms with what has happened and that you’ve got support from your oncologist and maybe your breast care nurse or been referred to your local MacMillan/hospice nurse. I was referred to the hospice in sept 06 even though I was quite well at the time as they gave me support with the children.
Kate
Iwas dx May 06 46 with secs to bones and liver I hope you find lots of support I certainly have. I am fortunate that I have older girls but still worry as to how they will manage without me.
Hope you had a good birthday Jennywren and didnt get to cold.
hi everyone i am 46 i too have secondaries in the bones , 3 places. i felt quite positive about getting back to normal, and even found myself a part time job. 18 hours a week. theres just one problem i have only done 3 days and my back give up on me, i do have to do a lot of bending and lifting the babies as the job is in a nursery. i was loving it, but im supposed to return on tuesday and my back is still bad. i am concerned it could be the cancer spreading, and have an appointement with my onc on wed. but i really dont want to give the job up, but i cant expect them to wait for me to be fit enough either. i think ive pulled it though because it went when i was bending to put my clothes on first and then when i was lifting a baby. aghhhhhhhhhhh its so frustrating. i cant get any benefit, they say im not ill enough, havnt paid enough stamps for incapacity b. husband is too tight, so what choice do i have but try and get back to work. and i also think it will be good for me emotionally.
anyone else had a similiar experience on returning to work.
Hi EDMatters…if you’re not receiving it already you are entitled to disability living allowance…it’s not means tested so you can work and still receive the benefit. You may also be able to claim the higher rate which is just over £100 a week. The higher rate is ‘special rules’ which means you could have a life expectancy of less than 6 months but don’t let that put you off as many, me included, have been accepted in the special rules category for many months/years. There are lots of threads in ‘search’ which will explain DLA better than my post. I had a hospital Mac nurse go through the forms with me when I was first diagnosed. I know some here have had problems claiming…a Mac nurse, GP can be helpful.
I hope your back improves…x
I just wondered if you are getting DLA (Disability Living Allowance) ? There is plenty of info on this site about it. Do ask us, if it is something you are not aware of.
I love Wells, Caroline and I met the much missed and very beautiful Jocasta there…sweet memories.