Hi everyone, it is 4 o’clock on Saturday morning - I have already been awake for 2 hours - and I am in two minds - as if I never am - as to whether or not I should shave my head now or just wait for the hair to fall out of its own accord. I am petrified that I will wake up in the morning and be unaware that my hair has fallen out only to scare myself and my OH! I have even taken to wearing a ‘nightcap’ in bed so that I can remove it slowly in front of the mirror on my own first. My hair is beginning to shed itself - initially just one or two strands at a time - but now clumps of it in one go, although not to the extent yet that I have bald patches. My inclination is to shave it all off - to a ‘respectable’ grade 4 initially to give me the chance to accustom myself to it before I lose it all - I have already had it cut short from shoulder length to about 3 inches on top and 1 inch at the back - but I sense that my partner would rather I just wait for it to fall out on its own - he is of the view that it is going to fall out anyway so why quicken it. I can appreciate his opinion - I really can - but I really do feel as if I need to appropriate this experience for myself rather than feel alienated from it. I have already broken down in tears because of the hair loss in the last day or two but I really do feel as if I need to take control. It would be so much easier if I could pour myself a glass of wine, turn up the music and just go for it - but, unfortunately, I appear to have gone off the alcohol for a while, never mind the trouble we would have to go to just to reach an agreement on what type of music to listen to…!
Ah, dilemmas!
Still, it is going to happen - whether I take control or not - and then perhaps I will be able to have a little ‘fun’ with my new hairdos and headscarves…
B*****r this disease.
Naz
Hi Naz
Bless you , i remember going through the same and i did decide to shave mine to a a shortish crop then i panicked what if i was a one off and my hair would stop falling out and i had just shaved it off !!! crazy !! but once i had done so, it took away all my apprehension of it dropping out on my clothing in the shower etc and i did feel i had taken back some control, i bought some lovely hats from www.headcovers.com they are based in america but they arrived quickly and were not expensive, i did get a wig on the nhs but my kids wore it more than me! i finished my last chemo 2nd nov 07 and can honestly say it grows back as quickly as i lost it and it is really thick , darker than my natural colour and quite wavy, it is difficult no matter what you do, i wish i had gone off alcohol !! u take care
love galen x
Hi - My hair was very long at diagnosis. I got my friend to shave my head with her boyfriend’s hair clippers - so I had a ‘number one’ or something for the approx 3 weeks till it started coming out. Everyone’s different of course, but I found it quite liberating. In fact, I quite liked it! I certainly feel it made the actual loss of my hair seem less ‘dramatic’. I also started wearing my wigs a bit sooner - and they’re much more comfortable without any real hair to stuff underneath or worry about showing.
And while I appreciate you are open to your partner’s comments, ultimately you’ve got to do what’s right for you. I found that once I’d shaved off my ‘crowing glory’ I could forget about it and get on with everything else, rather than peer in the mirror every day wondering and waiting. Hope this helps. Good luck with chemo. x
Hi Naz
I too remember going thro that - just the Sept time last year so my heart goes out to you. Once my started coming out in clumps I had a bald patch on top - that was the time for me to get a number 1 - the tears were streaming down my face whilst my OH was doing it - but for me it was better to take control and much better than watching it come out day by day - or even hour by hour in large clumps.
You do what is right for you girl.
Take care
Fiona
xxx
Thanks, Galen. Unfortunately rather like trying on my parent’s glasses when I was younger - which always reminded me of why I never wanted to drink to excess again - my eyesight isn’t bad but my parents’ eyesight is terrible - so that wearing their glasses made me feel really, really giddy - I’ve found that the first few days after the chemo I have felt as if I have had a really terrible hangover, to the extent where I’ve not felt like having a drink since. I am definitely looking forward to a time when I can pour myself a glass of red wine and tuck in to one of my favorite meals - or even just a plate of cheese and biscuits!
Yes, I’ve ordered a wrap - and a couple of wigs - from headcovers.com - they were certainly efficient. And I shall probably order a few more scarves from them as time goes by - the quality is excellent.
I suspect my hair will probably grow back grey - but I think I’ll just be glad that it grows back! Its always reassuring to hear that it does grow back - and sometimes quite quickly.
Thanks again! Naz, x
Ah, I’m so sorry - Sharon, Fiona - its so difficult to keep up with the posts - I was just replying to Galen at the time - I reasoned that it might be best to reply to responses individually one at a time - but it obviously took me so long to write my reply that you were also able to comment in the meantime!
You’re right, it does have to be what is right for me - and I do so much want to just move on from it all so that I can stop worrying about it falling out. On the other hand, my partner has also said that my hair is a bit of a mess now anyway - it really did need re-colouring when I was first diagnosed - so its perhaps not a bad thing that it will fall out! Ah, so diplomatic!
I understand that you have all finished chemotherapy - which is such a relief to hear - and no doubt a relief to you too! I really appreciate you taking the time to reply. Love, Naz
Hi Naz,
I have the same dilemma. To be or not to be hairless sooner. My head is itchy, so am going to have it cut really short today. I don’t fancy the idea of it sliding away down the plughole.
I’ve bought some scarves etc from headcovers and decided I,m going to start wearing them before my hair totally goes so I can get used to the new look me.
Also have agreed to give son and daughter in law a fashion show tomorrow showing off my new headgear. (It brings a new twist to wearing an Easter bonnet)
I felt ok for the first 48 hrs after epi, anti- sickness meds worked but yesterday I felt I’d been kicked by a horse and have spent the rest of the time crawling from bed to bathroom to kitchen. Energy levels feel as though they dropped big time.
I think i’m about 10 days behind you with the epi so I’ll keep in touch
Take care
Trish
Hi Ladies
I had my second FEC yesterday and have still got quite a lot of hair didtoy with the idea of having it cut short but couldnt stand the idea - it is quite long and I thought it will be a long time short (strange logic I know). I havent washed it quite so often and I tend to let it dry as much naturally as possible, saying that I do or did have a really thick head of hair, I have probably got about 50% left but it is coming out more and more each day. Think by the end of the week end I may have to concede defeat and have it shaved but Im glad I kept it for as long as I did. I know we are not all the same but just wanted to share my story with you.
Sending love and hugs to all
Karen
XXX
Hi Trish - good to hear from you! Yes, definitely knocks you back when it hits you! I was expecting to be recovering by now - next dose, hopefully, on Wednesday - this is day 17 after all, and apparently we should be at our lowest between days 7 and 14 - but I have just been exhausted the last few days - a little toothache too has kept me awake.
Yep, I got my hair cut short in preparation for the chemo - I reasoned that I could experiment with my hairstyle beforehand so that I would have some idea of what it could look like when it started to regrow. I, too, have ordered some stuff from headcovers.com - headscarf as well as wigs - and have also been wearing them around the house in order to accustom myself to them all - I even ventured outside for the first time yesterday wearing a wig without also wearing a hat on top - I was obviously self-conscious - and I’m sure I did get the occasional look - my ‘hair’ has never looked so healthy - but I think that I will become reasonably comfortable with it all in time - and then before you know it the hair will begin to regrow so that they won’t be needed! Or at least that’s how I’m trying to look at it at the moment. I have also had some fun experimenting with scarves - I even bought a couple of sarongs to use as headscarves as I was finding it so difficult to find scarves large enough to play with - but I don’t think I’ll be wearing them until the weather becomes a little warmer, and certainly only when it is less windy!
Look after yourself - and definitely don’t try to overdo things! Lots of love, Naz
Hello ladies
I had my hair shaved off by my ‘wig man’ on the morning of my second EC. It was a huge relief as I had left it too late (as I was in denial) and I had stopped brushing or washing it. Therefore by the time I had a wig it was dirty and falling out everywhere, including into my food, and my scalp was sore.
I have a fantastic wig and people have commented how nice my hair looks, sometimes I’ve told them at other times I’ve not bothered.
Now after 6 months of chemo and a mastectomy it is growing back!
love to you all
Pauline
Hi Naz
I struggled a bit like you with this decision too
Ten days after my first FEC it was patchy and falling out all over the place, so I went for a number two! Four days later the patches were even bigger so I went right down to a number zero, and then finished it off with a razor!
I actually feel more in control without my hair … and have a funky collection of hats & a wig I’ve worn just once!
Hope it’s not too hard for you,
Love Rebecca
Hi comrades!
Felt a bit militant with my hair gone! Well not gone completely I have short standing up white fuzz and look rather like a rather motheaten new born chick in the morning! My 8 year old grandson says I look like a baby!
I too had a very short hair cut about ½ inch all over and immediately felt better for it as I dreaded eventually finding long strands on my pillow in the mornings. Surprisingly it is very liberating once it started to come out - no more dreading. I have bought two nice colourful “buffs” from Blacks, a camping shop, which are like tubes of a very comfortable material and very easy to wear with no tying to worry about. I just slip them on and let the rest hand back. I also have an NHS wig and I was pleasantly surprised at how realistic it looks. I have had dark hair all my life and decided on a blonde wig which rather surprisingly suits me. So I am going to be a glam blonde until my hair grows back, grey I suspect, but hey “REAL” hair1.
Love to you all out there going through the same thing. Upwards and onwards"
love Judy x
Hi all… i have smiled lots with this thread!!!
I guess the point at which we decide to do away with what is left of our hair is one of the most decisive in dealing with the treatment and how we feel?
I had lots of fine aka thin, short hair but it was still a really horribly grue moment when i realised a huge ‘lock’ had fallen out in my hand… i lost so much in one eve that i had it zizzed off to number 2 the next day - my currently long distance partner was with me and was lovely after.
Yep - does make wigging/scarves easier and yes - for me - it meant i just looked in mirror and went ohhh a few times but it was my choice and that was good - i did not want to look motheaten. At home and at work (v part time at mo - i used to be full time) i wear wig/scarf/nothing. In the supermarket or similar i always cover my head… i don’t mind people I know knowing i have no hair but i do find it hard when strangers ask me - umm a lack of manners!!
I have baby fuzz left, i have one more epi to go but don’t expect it to grow back during Xeloda… i don’t think about it growing back much - i guess it will but even after a few weeks i ahve got used to not having it?
i found some good scarves on surburban turban - good colours.
AND… so i have lost hair everywhere except my legs. THERE IS NO Justice - but i would rather have done the mastectomy, be doing chemo and the radio next and all the tabs to come after than to have missed the tiny changed inturned nipple thing that set all this in train. The day I was diagnosed in November was the day i realised how much i had and how much i wanted to keep at least part of that - in fact my life has changed for the better - the diagnosis prompted my bloke to say what he felt… umm i was about to do the dear john convo… but we have moved on in lovely ways.
Ummm… his mum thinks he is mad for hooking up with ‘cancer woman’ - my mum thinks ‘you should concentrate on getting better dear and not see someone with epilepsy’… we are 49, very happy and life has NEVER been so good.
laughing - hey - he is bald too!!!
sorry i wandered off the topic…
our hair will come back and we will do it in whatever way we choose!
much love J xx
Hi all
It’s helpful to read all the comments here and I love the way people have dealt with losing their hair. I’ll be starting chemo on Monday and have decided to have my hair shaved off just before the second one - I’m on Epi - accelerated so the second one will be 14 days later. I’m hoping that if I time things right I won’t have to watch my hair come out, but can enjoy what I’ve got for as long as possible.
Knowing my luck it’ll come out sooner! Aarrgh!!
Gill
Hi
my lovely daughter -in- law has arranged for a hairdresser friend to come round this evening, is currently preparing a meal for everyone and the champage is in the ice bucket. When I asked what the celebration was she said we are giving your old hair a good send off and looking forward to seeing the new you.
I chickened out over Easter but after all this preparation I guess there’s no chickening out tonight.
Not sure how champagne and epi go together but I’ll find out.
Trish
Hiya, just to let you all know that I’ve shaved it all off - well, to a respectable grade 4 on top and to a grade 1 at the back - I thought I’d do it in stages!
Will respond again when I feel a little more with it!
Lots of love, Naz
Champagne and epi go well together!!! ENJOY!!!
I only have red wine here but cheers to all!
Jennifer
All - great women –
So, let’s list the things we discovered. I have only read a few pages into this thread, but I suspect there are many more! BC has shown us how to:
- Be grateful for small things. Sunshine, the hair we used to complain about fixing, spring breezes, life.
- Be ourselves in an accelerated way – be grey, white, fuzzy headed, BE.
- Accept new routines in our usually very scheduled lives. Who knew we would be counting down to the next chemo, using a baby brush, use anti-bac wipes, be more aware of germs. Tolerance.
- Reach out beyond our circle of friends, acquaintences and talk to total strangers about the most intimate days of our lives. International Forums (yea BCC!!!)
- Just not to worry about the small stuff and be happy with simpler pleasures – like a good cup of coffee, sitting in the sun, talking to family, loving that we are alive. Simplicity.
That’s a few, anyone want to add to the list???
loving you all and praying for the very best,
Emily
xxx
The humbling experience of realising there are people who really, genuinely care - family, friends and colleagues - and that it’s taken this wretched BC for me to believe it.
Lyn xxx
I took the decision when I brushed my hair and it came out in a clump to ‘bugger it’ and take it all off. So when my lovely hubby new Colin came home from work, he took out his clippers and within half an hour my lovely dark brown hair, which I had grown for our wedding 4 months before had gone. I was a baldy.I couldn’t have coped with bits at a time.We both cried buckets and he held me for ages after.Its starting to grow back now and my 22 year old son says I look like the mad professor on Back to the Future, don’t you just love your kids ha ha