While not having any particular liking for Jade Goody, I am glad she made it to bing msrried, and hope that she achieves what she wants for her boys.
i feel far too young to be coming to this website - (i’m 37 with BC and bone mets!) so to think of a girl jades age it makes me very sad indeed. i really hope that she gets as long as debsincornwall out of her marriage - and i hope that you both get a real silver wedding anniversary. i read today that she goes back to the marsden on wed for treatment - not sure if its palliative or if they are continuing to treat her as i read last week that all chemo had been stopped. She is in very good hands there and like everyone else i really hope for a miracle for her. She has had to fight her way thro life from a very young age - if anyones inner strength can beat this its jade goodys.
maria x
Hi all…about Jade, I too feel so sad for her & her family. It is good that she is expressing the importance of all women to go for tests, whether cervical, breast or any other related to us poor girls !
On the other hand, I do feel that all this publicity about her dying, may, actually deter them from going to the docs in the first place!
I remember,when I was first diagnosed, all I could think about was death. I’m pretty sure all of us here did (if we’re honest)
But deep down , we know that every day is precious & we should embrace it & if you’re anything like me, live life the way you did before(when possible).
Anyway what I’m really trying to say is, Jade & all the publicity that surrounds her, may be sending out the wrong messages & actually deterring people from going to the docs! All the papers, magazines etc, are all about her dying & that is a very scarey prospect for anyone. All those newly diagnosed out there , may feel there is no hope, when there IS always hope!
Maybe, they shouldn’nt dwell so much on her death, but publicise places like this more. Right from the start, I have received so much support from this site & greatly appreciated. Does anyone agree ? We only have to look at our friend on here, who has been an inspiration to us all. Hi again Jane x
It has often bothered me that the media coverage of her terminal illness could be terrifying some cancer patients. It’s too easy to say that it’s making women go for smear tests. In some respects I think the coverage is making cancer out to be less serious than it really is - I was very angry at the pics of Jack Tweed and his mates in ladies underwear for instance as I felt some dignity was needed. It made me feel as if the whole wedding thing was being treated as a game by him. I also don’t like to think that people will make a lot of money on the back of Jade’s death, but I suspect that’s going to happen. You know what it’s like, various “friends” will emerge from the woodwork for a few quid. Personally, I’d like to think OK is donating to a cancer charity, but I’m inclined to think it’s more about sales and profit for them.
I’ve been following Jade Goody’s story quite closely…I am fascinated by media representations of ‘celebrity’ and also by how the media deals with cancer and also with dying and death. I mainly read what appears in the Guaradian and Observer, am buying OK magazine, and read the tabloids in Smiths.
I think what I think is: first Jade knows what she’s doing in exploiting the media and good on her for wanting to make as much money as possible for her children…she’s in a job which enables her to do that; secondly yes Jade is a good advocate for cervical screening…though I think someone should also mention the importance of the HPV vaccination which 11-18 year olds can now have and someone should mention the importance of condom use for preventing sexually transmitted diseases including the HPV virus which is implicated in many cases of cervical cancer. Thirdly, I think Jade Goody is doing for the tabloids and their readers what John Diamond and to a lesser extent Ruth Picardie did for the chattering middle classes…making a taboo subject…death…a bit more accessible, a bit more talkeable about.
So no lezhop I don’t agree with you. I think its refeshing to read about someone who is talking about her own death. Everyone dies, yet this fact has become almost taboo. I was disappointed though yesterday, peering at the Sun and the Star in Smiths to see the latest ‘Jade story’ was that she was taking apricot kernels and hoping for a last minute miracle from spiritual healing. This of course won’t happen.
Cherub…last week my hospice nurse asked me if I was upset by the coverage of Jade Goody’s story because she told me some of her other patients were. I’m not upset…I’m realistic about my cancer…know its course is different from what’s happening to Jade, and am secure in my own knowledge of what will happen to me…ie. I’ll die but I don’t know quite how or when. (Doesn’t mean I’m not damn scared as Jade is…but her story doesn’t make me more scared.)
At the heart of all this is a young woman,a young mother, facing imminent death, trying to still do things with her last weeks/months which will leave good memories for those she loves. It’s a sad and tragic story, made perhaps more poignant by the kind of contemporary world we all inhabit.
Jane
I too have been touched by Jade’s spirited way in which she is dealing with her illness. I look forward to seeing her and Jacks wedding photos, what better way to celebrate their love… Jack in undies, why shouldnt he have the fun like any other groom to be 
He and Jade so clearly have a fun very loving relationship, shadowed by Cancer yes, but they were resilient enough to not let Cancer rule their wedding day. Good on them!
Personally, I feel Jades experience will in the majority of people make them more body aware. If Jade is also making death seem easier even for only one person following her true life story, then to me Jades done good! Pardon the almost pun
Jade…your babies are always going to be so proud of you.
Fairy x
I think I’ve missed some of the news re Jade. Yes I feel so sorry for her and hope that she finds some peace and manages pain free life for however long she has left.
I thought though she was told that she now has secondaries, so is therefore terminal (as are a lot of ladies on here), but has she stopped treatment? Is it not possible that for her type of cancer she may well find some sort of treatment that will give her more months, even perhaps years?
From reading this site I realise a lot of ladies were given a time of only a few months to live, but thankfully have managed to beat that time, and long may they continue to do so too. Isn’t this the same for Jade?
Hi peacock:
There are far more treatments available for many people with secondary breast cancer than for people with other kinds of secondary cancer. I don’t know whether Jade Goody is having more chemotherapy or not…I think she is probably just having palliative pain control right now after an emergency operation recently.
From all the reports she is very ill indeed and not expected to live long- weeks and perhaps months but not years. This sadly is what happens in advanced cancer when treatments have failed. Many people talk of ‘beating’ their cancer but I think this is misleading because sadly personal determination does not cure cancer or necessarily prolong life.
Jane
Newspaper reports say Jade has between one and two months as the chemo was having no beneficial effect.Poor lass.
I have been watching this thread and listening to talk every day in my break room at work.
My heart bleeds for Jade and her kids, it also bleeds the exact same for all woman on the secs forum with young kids and any other cancer forum.
I have crap primary prognosis with 2 young children.
I have never slagged of a celebrity with cancer as personally feel the disease hits all, however do not agree with certain people who (tend to be z listers) make money from this shit disease. This may upset but I cant read the circus and the posed secretive photas any longer and feel the headlines will get more shocking as the days go by to keep that front page. Its all very sad and its just not jades kids making money.
Debbie X
Yes the papers and the publicists are making money…they do that out of tragic events both public and private…whether its an air crash, the Iraq war or Jade Goody.
Jade Goody has made her living out of the media…it is inevitable that she will do the same now she is dying…and I can’t get anywhere near blaming her.
Jane
I whole heartedly support what Jade Goody is doing, using the worlds media to enable her to provide for her darling boys once she has passed away.
What a relief that someone is finally showing that death and dying should not be the taboo subjects they have been for far too long. I salute Jade for doing much to remove the shroud of secrecy surrounding people living with a terminal illness.
Kelly
-x-
I’m whole-heartedly behind Jade and her efforts to provide the kind of life she never had for her children. I do understand that many women have terminal cancer and aren’t able to provide for their families in the same way but don’t feel we should begrudge someone who is able to. Jade has made some mistakes, as most of us have, but has made amends and although she is uneducated (which probably caused her troubles) I do feel she is a sincere and dignfied person in spite of everything.
Her spokesmand has already said that she won’t be having her death filmed and with the exception of her interview with Piers Morgan and perhaps her sons’ christening I think she is going to generally be out of the limelight now to enjoy the company of her family.
I, for one, wish her and her family much happiness in the short space of time she has left and I wish her comfort, support and god’s speed when the end comes for her.
Just read OK magazine and have to say Jade looked very beautiful, thought it was typical of her to stray from the “norm” whatever that is,and get married without a wig or anything covering her head.
My heart goes out to her and her family and i pray the Lord gives her strength to cope in the following weeks/months.
Ann x
All this coverage of Jade’s recurrence has got to me a bit but only because I was diagnosed with secondaries 2 days before the current media onslaught.
I respect what she’s trying to do it’s just too close to home from me right now although I like to think I’ve got a lot of time yet and have no reason to believe otherwise.
Personally I don’t mind the fact that it hurts like hell to think of all the loss we inevitably suffer and in a lot of ways people around me are a little more sensitive to how I’m feeling I think, hard thougths are challenging.
If she wasn’t getting something out of it I’d be angry as hell because I see tabloids as mostly exploitative but she is so that’s fine.
I’m confused by my own thoughts regards what Jade is doing.
On the one hand, I’m pleased that she’s exploiting the media in order to gain something for her children. At the same time, she’s doing what many of us find hard to do ie. show the public what cancer or cancer treatment actually looks like.
Another angle for me is the class issue. There are people who’ve criticised Jade because of her approach to this. But she’s not articulate. I read the Guardian and Observer and recall following Ruth Picardie’s story. Is Jade not doing the same thing but using the tools accessible to her?
But then there’s the other side to this which isn’t about Jade at all, but about reality tv and our expectations and needs.
I can’t stand reality tv programmes and of course Jade is a product of the reality tv process. What else does she have? Whilst I can talk about class and Jade’s accessibility to the media - where do we go next as a society? Do we move towards death on tv as part of our need for reality?? It all seems bizarre. And who in the long term benefits? Whilst we may see more people going for screening or understanding the process of dealing with and dying of cancer, are we not in danger of moving into an even more voyeuristic society that begins to promote death on tv? How far do we want the boundaries to go?
And what about the impact of all of this on her children? Sure, there will be money, but who’s taking care of their emotional wellbeing as they watch their mum in the media in this way? We read threads on here from various members about how to deal with children when coping with a terminal diagnosis. Jade’s children are surely watching their mum in the spotlight. It concerns me.
So from me, a cautious good on Jade for securing money for her children by doing what she knows will bring in the cash and keep her in the limelight. But overall - I just question the process and its longer term impact.
Gill
I feel for Jade. I have two young boys and that could have been me. I know through chemo I needed something to take my mind off it so I planned a massive Birthday party for my boys aged 4 and 1 and invited 100 children ( with their families). It was great fun and took my mind off the chemo. Good on you Jade do whatever you can to feel better in yourself. I will be very sad when the end comes, but at least she has time to make plans for her boys, some people are not that lucky.
I trotted (well walked slowly) up to the shop today with my bald head and bought my copy of OK magazine and walked back with it tucked under my arm.
I have had many thoughts about Jade (99% of them positive) but the one I wanted to share after today relates to the media coverage of her coping with cancer and particularly her hair loss.
I have never truly been bothered by being bald but Jade’s decision to “bear all”, particularly at her wedding where she looked fabulous, made me think that perhaps, as well as changing the take up stats for cervical screening, her approach will allow those who don’t want to hide under a wig but perhaps feel society expects them to to feel confident to perhaps take off their wigs knowing that perhaps people have a smidgen more of understanding/insight into “living with cancer” than they did before.
I certainly almost felt “proud” (not the right word perhaps but hopefully you will know what I mean) to be bald and (I hope) recovering from cancer as I walked back today.
Re your comments Gillian on reality TV - they do raise interesting issues re “death on tv” however I cannot imagine (and hope to God that I am right) that our society would go so far as to film a death for “entertainment/voyeristic” purposes in the way that reality tv films other aspects of life however I don’t think death and dying being filmed in a documentary informative way would be a bad thing. We are all going to do it, some sooner than they may have liked, some later than they may have liked etc etc.
Death is a part of life and I don’t imagine that many people have a “film” death (ie passing at the moment of our choosing, managing to say every last thing we want before our last breath leaves, looking beautiful and frail etc etc). People don’t generally have the body of their loved one at home the night before a funeral anymore. Most people have never seen a dead body. That makes it scary. Put the “C” word in it and people run a mile. Death isn’t pretty but it also needn’t be as scary as we make it by keeping ourselves safe from it let alone our children.
Regarding Jade’s children. I believe that she and her mistakes have been in the public eye for so long that when her boys are old enough to read about/hear about their mother and understand it they will, I hope, have had enough love and support to accept and love her for who she was, the decisions she made (good or bad). Princess Diana made mistakes, her death was everywhere… her boys love her and make their own judgments about her. Even if Jade had not had this awful diagnosis and gone on to live a long and complicated/messed up/happy life in the public eye they would have had to deal with their mum’s “celebrity” - would excluding her “dying/death” change anything for them?
The “mystery” of death needs to be unravelled. It shouldn’t be something to crawl away and do if thats not your thing/wish. To me change can only bring good. I am going to do it one day, I have seen enough dead people in the last 2 years in my job but never someone actually die but still it scares me, I believe because I have been protected from it as a “scary taboo” thing for too long.
I just wanted to say I was with my dad when he passed away 12 months before my diagnosis. The worst part was that he had electrical impulses to the brain, so it looked like he was fitting every 20 minutes or so. However, we all became used to it and 5 of us spent most of the weekend sitting in dad’s room, talking about funny things to do with dad when we were all kids, holidays etc. My brother was telling a story about going fishing with my dad when he suddenly just looked up and gasped. I actually said to him that if my mum was there he should just go with her and not be scared. Being with a loved one at the point of death took all the mystery away and I found when I was diagnosed with BC the following year I had no fear of death and I still don’t. It’s the one thing in life that’s inevitable and whilst it’s sad my philosophy is that some of us have to die earlier than others and there is nothing we can do about that.
I agree with you ostrich. I proudly walked to the newsagents in my wig to get OK magazine. Yes Jade looks great. I don’t always wear my wig but right now my 60 year old face looks better with it on than off…I’m a fan of wigss and hate to see how they are derided as less brave than the bald look.
Max Clifford has said that Jade won’t be photographed dying but who knows. Actually it has been done already…there was guy on TV a few years ago who was followed during the last year of his life (I think from cancer) and the final programme was of his death…all done thoughtfully. I had never seen a real person die before (other than violent deaths on the news) and still haven’t (have seen dead bodies after the event but thats somehow different. I remember the programme being very moving and de mystifying.
A year or so back I went to a fabulous exhibition of photographs (chemo brain and I can’t remember the names of the photgraphers) at a gallery in Euston Road…about 20-30 people (including a couple of babies) photgraphed before they died and when dead…an amazing, absolutely amazing and moving project. I saw the photos with a cyber friend I’d met through these forums two or three years back and it was good to share with someone else with cancer who shared my interest in death and dying.
Jane