I, too, saw the programme about the gentleman dying (I believe he had Alzheimer’s, Jane) and thought it was absolutely excellent. I also really, really wanted to see that photography exhibition and still regret failing to get there. Due to the work I’m involved in I am often with people at the point of death, and can truly say, based on over thirty years (gasp!) experience, that it is hardly ever a traumatic or even unpleasant event.
Sass xx
Ostrich, I too would not have a problem with death being shown in an informative, documentary style. I totally agree with your comments.
I’m not writing well at the moment - back at work full time and trying to cope, so please forgive some rather muddled thoughts! My problem is the reality tv sensationalism attached to Jade Goody - it sort of removes reality about death doesn’t it? We have in front of us an orchestrated media circus that’s dictating our responses. And yet, going back to my original comments, I also support her. I’m just cautious about all of this and wonder who’s exploiting whom? I don’t have an answer to that!!
Gill
How sad to hear that Jade is now suffering with the medication she so desperately needs to keep her pain at bay. Its a relief that she is now being looked after at her local hospice, which is absolutely the best place for her right now. We are all too aware, I’m sure, of the marvellous job the staff at hospices do, and I’m sure they’ll do all they can to ease her suffering.
I’m actually dreading watching the news now because I fear that all too soon we are going to be told that she has passed away. I only hope she is able to live long enough to see her boys christened and also be christened herself at the same time.
The row that ensued between her and her neighbour really made quite distressing viewing this morning, and I was so angry for her. I called him lots of names, none of which I can repeat on here!
Kelly
-x-
Hey Kelly I have followed you all through this thread and have to agree with everything you say, great minds must think alike lol ! ! ! Reading the newspapers this morning and seeing the pictures of Jade before going to the hospice very distressed and also that argument with her neighbour was heartbreaking, cant get it out of my mind today. My husband tried to tell me earlier tonight its not just Jade going through this horrendous ordeal but there are countless people but as i said to him its Jade who is on the front pages of all the newspapers, mags etc, you just cant get away from it all. Cant get her out of my mind at all and seeing her pain in those pics today hit home hard. So many people feel uncomfortable with it and would prefer to have this out of the limelight, a family member said to me the other week Jade shouldnt be doing this she should be behind closed doors with her family instead of letting the world see this. Where was my mouth ? I wished i could have said, why should she ?,because this is making people uncomfortable that a young woman, also a mother to two beautiful little boys is dying, and then to top it all we have the she is making money on her cancer experience brigade… do not get me started. Jade entered Big Brother - reality tv. which made her and why should it not have and why should anyone be critisising her now for making money for her sons future when she only has a limited life span, it beggars belief. As Jade said in an interview a month or so ago, she would gladly go without the money for a life without cancer and to see her two young sons grow up, I am still perplexed why anyone who has went through a cancer diagnosis etc can be critical of another woman who is in a position to make funds for her children, if i were in Jades situation i would do the same.
Hey she cant do right for doing wrong but I do hope she knows there are so many people thinking of her and sending her best wishes and yes she is probably the poor mans ambassador she doesnt know the fancy words or fancy phrases but she connects with lots of people and I am sure they will remember her.
I send her my hugest love and best wishes and hopes she finds herself painfree and in peace x x x x x x
What a briliant post max, you have absolutely hit the nail on the head. I totally agree with everything you say, great minds definately do think alike! LOL!
I also send lots of love and best wishes to Jade, her family and friends at this heartbreaking time,
Kelly
-x-
Cheers kelly
good to know theres always someone who will think the same as you !
cos sometimes i wonder…
and special thoughts, prayers, hugs and everything i can think of to send , but Jade you are so in my thoughts now, your little boys too, i so wish things were different x x x
Without a quote function it’s difficult to organise my comments. However, here goes ….
Maximise said:
I am still perplexed why anyone who has went through a cancer diagnosis etc can be critical of another woman who is in a position to make funds for her children, if i were in Jades situation i would do the same.
Gill says:
Hi Maximise
Whoops! Are your comments here aimed at me? I’ve scrutinised the thread and cannot think who else they would have been aimed at. An outside person perhaps?
Given I think they’re aimed at me, I would like to respond.
I recognise we’re all at various stages regarding breast cancer so are not always perhaps as clear as we want to be. If you understood my comments you’ll have recognised that I was questioning a process.
I’ve not read or looked at anything to do with Jade Goody this weekend, but comments about her neighbours suggests to me that perhaps my questions are right. Who is really benefiting here? I don’t read the tabloids but just did a quick google … hmm … as I suspected, it was all there. What might be their rewards? Much higher than the payout to her sons!! And where is the dignity in this?
Secondly, I have to ask you why it is that anyone going through a diagnosis of breast cancer cannot be critical? Are we all now supposed to form some sort of homogeneous group just because of our diagnosis?? Surely not?
Regards
Gill
hey Gill my comments weren’t aimed at anyone in particular, i totally agree everyone has the right to their own opinions and just because we all have breast cancer in common does not make us all unite in our thoughts ! ! I was merely expressing how i feel about the situation I certainly was not trying to single anyone out ! ! !
I don’t follow the tabloids but of course Jade’s story is everywhere. Speaking as someone who is also terminal I wish the media would now leave this young woman alone so she can sort out her affairs, spend precious time with those she loves before she dies. I don’t blame her for selling her marriage story to get money for her sons I just question why the media, who not so long ago vilified her over the Shilpa Shetty affair now need to know so much, too much of Jade’s pain, her cancer, her plight. We should now let this young woman have some space. It takes a long time to get your head round a terminal diagnosis I hope Jade is somehow managing to get the time she needs to gather her thoughts. I know Jade says she’s happy with the media interest (so far) but this intense and intrusive media coverage is happening at a time when she will still be struggling to cope with her illness, her diagnosis. I hope someone close to Jade will now begin to put her interests first before releasing the very latest update they feel we all need, have a right to know. We don’t. And I only hope her death will be as peaceful, pain free and as private as it possibly can be. Sadly she’s much too young.
Thanks Maximise - I appreciate the clarification.
Belinda, like you I wish the media would leave her alone now. I enjoyed reading your comments. I too remember the furore about her participation in celebrity BB and the Shilpa Shetty affair although only saw this via some media write ups.
Instinct says to me that the media are onto a goldmine here. Max Clifford pushes forth his stuff and the media follows obediently - that is until there’s nothing left in the coffers to retrieve. I don’t think there’s any further control to be had … unless or until such time that there’s nothing to be had out of Goody. The media will produce whatever story they can because as we know, this story now sells a lot of papers and that means increased profits. Twas ever thus with the tabloid media!
I think it’s utterly tragic that the end of this woman’s life is to be treated in such a manner. It truly horrifies me - and again I ask, what benefit other than financial will this have on the wellbeing of her sons?
Gill
Having just seen the news, poor Jade it seems is having to go to the Marsden for an operation to relieve her pain. I thought she had already had an op for the same reason, so it doesn’t look like it worked.
How horrible that in such a short time the poor girl is experiencing great pain that doesn’t seem controlable.
I’m sure we all wish her well and hope that they can help with her pain.
I agree with GillianG and Belinda on this one. However much compassion the media may have for Jade, it’s still a money spinner. They must have thanked their lucky stars that she was a willing participant and there wasn’t a single headline that didn’t start with “Brave Jade…” - a far cry from the vitriolic coverage she’s received in the past.
I don’t have an issue with Jade’s motives for allowing the media intrusion, but I do think that she is being exploited and, contrary to appearances, has no control over this media frenzy. It already seems to be the case as “friends” are revealing other intimate details to the papers in addition to the official releases from her PR team. You give an inch and they take a mile.
I’d just like to share my observations of the past few weeks…
I noticed a surge of empathy in the press when Jade’s cancer was deemed terminal. The situation had shifted from reporting on a reality tv star’s progress as she “battled” cancer with a 40% chance of survival, to the rapid spread and the harsh reality that she was going to die imminently - unchartered territory for a product of reality tv. The focus then went full throttle onto the wedding plans and the media milking the tragic circumstances behind what is deemed such a romantic day. However, it seems to me that the moment the wedding was over any modicom of sensitivity was shelved and, instead, this week there has been a barrage of quite lurid, sensationalist press with headlines such as “Kill me” and “I’ll be dead in a month”. I find these really offensive.
Being Stage IV myself, it struck a chord when Jade’s terminal diagnosis was announced. However, I think I may have reached saturation point now and I really don’t want to know on a daily basis about pain levels, medication, funeral plans etc. This is really personal stuff and is just too much information for me. I know I don’t have to read it, but usually the headline has said it all already, rather graphically! Furthermore, I have a vivid imagination as it is and enough fears about my own death and so I really don’t want a sensationalist account of someone else’s death to fuel my imagination and make this harder than it already is. I apologise if this sounds harsh, I’m simply trying to explain how the media coverage affects me on a personal level. Also, I am not in any way alluding to secondary posts on this site (which I do read) - they are written first-hand by people who are living with this disease and not by ignorant hacks trying to increase their paper’s circulation. Even today I saw something written which seemed to suggest that Jade’s situation might improve! It’s just irresponsible journalism.
x
I keep changing my mind about what I think about this. As I’ve said before what is at the heart of this is a tragic story of a young woman who is dying far too young and far too quickly of an aggressive cancer.
Beyond that I am fascinated by the media coverage and what it says abut the state of the world we live in, the media, and perceptions of death and dying.
What strikes me forecfully right now is that Jade’s experience is raising issues about the process of dying of cancer which are all too readily a taboo. Her heartfelt ‘Give me an injection’ raises the crucial issue of the right to assisted dying. The sad fact that her hospice failed to relieve her pain and that she has been rushed back to the Marsden again for more surgery begs the question of whether it really is possible for hospices, as they promise, to always make pain relief palatable…it seems to me they don’t and they can’t and they won’t tell us that.
These issues are frightening…they are issues that the chattering middle classes discuss in our non sensationalist broad sheets…the tabloids are now doing it too, albeit in ‘cruder’ fashion…but necessary are these debates and if Jade’s death serves to get these issues onto a broader agenda then I reckon thats a good thing.
‘Brave’ is an inevitable adjective used of those with cancer…the tabloids do it, the broadsheets do it, cancer forums do it…I wish none of them would but right now it goes with the territory.
And finally…what is so scary for many of us with ‘terminal’ diagnoses is that Jade doesn’t have the luxury of mulling over her diagnosis, of thinking she might get ‘cancer free days’ of talking about years of survival. Secondary breast cancer has far more long term survivors than do most other secondary cancers…food for thought there I think.
Jane
I have to say I agree with everything you’ve said Jane.
That the tabloids are discussing cancer and the horrid reality of dying from it has brought it up in discussion in far more ways and places and by far more people than has been. Jade and the media reporting her story will have done far more to raise issues around cancer than just take up rates for cervical screening than they perhaps realise - ie the terrible pain, assisted suicide, how quickly it can change etc.
I don’t forget that this is overall the tragic, all too soon, end of a young life and hope that when she says enough is enough in terms of media coverage it will be respected and any further reports will be respectful.
Long may the debates and issues raised continue though…
You’re right Jane. As advanced BC sufferers we do generally have a longer survival than many other cancer sufferers (and even other life-threatening disease). The speed at which Jade’s disease has progressed must have been incredibly scary, bless her. She is brave but unfortunately this won’t stop the cancer taking her at such a young age when she had so much to live for. I for one, hope that her very public illness hasn’t made everyone mistakenly believe that her rate of progress is typical as there is enough fear and myth regarding cancer as it is. Likewise her pain- I hope they can achieve some control of whatever is causing her such pain and at least make her comfortable, as many other patients are.
Hopefully, the day will come when we can all live with our cancer, not looking for a cure but knowing that it is under control and is not going to take us away at such short notice or even before our time.
It is indeed food for thought.
Anne
I agree with ripley, the tabloids are rubber necking not bringing up any particularly worthy topics or debate. And even if they were surely Jade deserves more dignity, privacy, than to be used as an object/subject to raise issues during her last days? In 2003, in England, the age for inviting women to take up cervical cancer screenings was raised from 20 to 25. Elsewhere in the UK it’s still 20. The tabloids could focus on this as a worthy campaign (I think perhaps one of them is?) instead of intrusive pictures of a dying young woman, in pain, in distress. How do these particular pictures help anyone and how distressing might this coverage be for her sons sometime in the future now Jade’s dying/death is on the world wide web? We must surely all know someone who is living with or has died from a painful illness? We don’t need to witness Jade travelling to hospice, to hospital to help us understand more of her illness. We should now leave quietly, Jade has made some money for her sons, now is the time to let her be. The sheer quickness of her illness is probably still leaving her struggling to come to terms with dying. And on top of this we are expecting her to make the best decision, for her, on how she spends her final days. I hope sooner or later this young woman is finally left in peace, if not what’s next pictures of her in her coffin so we can all be ‘educated’ in our best interests by the tabloids and shown what a dead person looks like? I feel terribly sorry for Jade, no-one should be under such scrutiny at such a time.
I agree, it’s time to let her be in peace. To be honest, I think the press will back off now. Surely?..
Anne
On a totally selfish note, the media coverage has at last enabled my 14 year old son to talk more openly with me about my BC. My dx in Nov 07 seemed to go over his head and he shut it out emotionally. Of course he saw me go through treatment and resume my life, more or less. But last week he asked me about Jade and why her cancer was different to mine and whether she could get better…and if mine would come back and I was able to discuss secondaries with him and my prognosis…finally!
So, on one level, coverage that enables wider debate about cancer is good…as long as it deals with realities and not pink fluff.
Best wishes to all
Louise
hi, i am waiting for the results of my genetic testing, since this Jade Goody business my daughter has completely clammed up! she is 17 years old, i am not always sure that to see so much about the forth coming death of a so called celebraty is that good for peoples moral, i really feel for this young lady but she could have ducked out of the limelight a long time ago, she has done well in raising awareness, but i think it has all gone too far now, goodness knows how people with the same sort of diagnosis are feeling seeing all this on the news and in the papers most days. i just hope my daughter opens up again to me, she is probabley worried sick that she to will get breast cancer now, where as before, we had spoken about it in terms that i felt a young girl would understand without getting frightened, i keep reassauring my daughter that just because i have had it, it doesn’t neccessarily mean that she will. oh well, you can’t stop them reading magazines can you?
Alisonxxx
Hi All
I haven’t particularly agreed with this coverage/circus from day 1. I’m known for being a bit of a synic (personally think Jade has been very mis managed and advised) and still cant get my head around how the results were allowed to be filmed and broadcast from India Big Brother. We all know the BB rules personal info such as this can be done in private. I also still cant fathom anyone entering such a high profile show with the knowledge they were expecting such a sensitive phone call. My heart really does break for her and even more so for her 2 little boys, I also cant figure how you dont tell your children, you shield them, yet you tell and show the world your prognosis and have numerous tv cameras filming you 24/7 + tipping off the papparazi. do those 2 little boys hear about their mum at school or glimpse the headlines, no wonder they are having problems with sleeping. I posted my original thoughts a week ago about my dread that the headlines would get more and more sensational to keep that front page and am really sad that it has proven to be. this was one time I would love to have been wrong. How different we all are, look at Wendy Richards.
I really hope the awful leeches now stop, as posted above its saturation, what I would have liked to see from this sad situation is awareness on how many mums are dying each year and the number of kids involved.
I wish Jade and her boys peace with finding quality time together that the boys will cherish and keep in their memories and hearts.
Debbie