Aah, misunderstood the bloods, oh well even better then on time x
It is a strange feeling for what weāve been through even so far, that it probably will be an anticlimax and a feeling of abandonment almost when the big stuff finishes. Weāre still in recovery then as far as energy and general well-being are concerned, but more alone as friends and family may think treatment finished and weāre āback to normalā. Will be interesting . Maybe then making use of local meet up groups might be of even more use, and might be something I look into if I feel I need it.
Iām still wanting to discover some kind of guidance and inspiration on āputting myself back together againā after chemo and radio treatment. Iām getting a premonition of standing after radiotherapy as the final big necessary treatment, taking a look in the mirror with no hair, no eyebrows, no eyelashes, one boob (til the remaining one gets taken off) and wondering where the hell I go from there to feel more normal again. Something about going through treatment keeps you okay with your appearance because you know youāre working hard to beat this shit.
Iām still proposing a catalogue of ānew looksā as I know I can never look the same as I did again - by the time my hair growth got back to the length it was Iāll be at least 60! The styles I wore with a large bust wonāt fit or suit me with a flat chest, Iām already changing anything with a V neck as you can see either my scar or prosthetic (or both if I bend forward!!!) Itās a chance to have a revamp for my future appearance and something to look forward to in my mid 50s as an appropriate look for me to age into. I think once chemo is over Iāll end up doing like a colour and style board type thing with short haircuts etc. keep me out of mischief and realistically something which was due anyway.
Hope everyoneās having a good weekend and feeling as well as they can xx
Think you described how most of us are feeling im sure we will get there its just time. And like you say everyone is its all over now you can start living again. I understand where they are coming from and what else can they say. But in reality how can it ever be over. Ill will try my bloody best to get on with life but may take a little longer than people think. When we are having treatment theres specialist with plans in place. So after will probably feel like were on our own. Got a few plans next year. Weekend in north yorkshire after Xmas. Girls cottage weekend for my sisters 60th. Greece trip with family that was cancelled from this year and my friend wants a week abroad with me. So plenty to focus on that should help. Have a lovely weekend hun x
This is how Iām feeling @pipspops@debi1
Iām know I will move on but Iām not ready
I mean I had a 3.2cm tumour with a cheeky node involved only discovered after surgery
I had to go through the horror of a PET scan to see if I had mets
My friends donāt understand that I havenāt digested- I agree that a support group after may help
And I look like shit lol
My hair is thin & grey
Lashes are 50% gone and eyebrows too (and I loved my brows - they endured the 90ās but I managed to regrow them & they are ace dare I say, or were ! )
Is anyone having hormone after radio?
I am not looking forward to it and Zoladex is already hard
Anyhow today I rallied & saw a 6th form college for my youngest & a uni for my middle one
Think I need a second job! Uni housing costs are mad.
I saw your comment about not being ready to move on. I get that. Iām only just ready after finishing a year of Herceptin and 18 months after finding a lump. Although now Iām awaiting an MRI for a pain in my neck that has been ongoing for months. Hopefully to rule out something more sinister than just getting older.
When you are ready BCN do a great course called Moving Forward available face to face or online details below. Designed when youāre active treatment surgery, chemo and radiotherapy has been completed. Meet people local to you with face to face course. I did this and we have an active supportive Whats App group
Moving Forward: Finishing treatment can be hard, and it can be difficult to move forward with your life. You can access our support online or face-to-face. Our online information hub and Moving Forward journal provide extra ideas and information. Courses run over 2 weeks, with 2 3.5hr sessions. Or trained facilitators and volunteers are there to help. Find a course near you.
The brows and lashes just seem to put the tin lid on the de-feminisation donāt they? Iāve been drawing my eyebrows with a brilliant NYX brow pen for a few weeks now, getting a decently passable eyebrow (I was blonde and never did much with them cos they werenāt a main feature or anything, but I can understand your frustration if yours were ace!) Went to put my mascara on to go for treatment Friday and I literally have 3 lashes left on each eye - poked myself in the eye with the wand and brushed mascara up my eyelidā¦ā¦ not a good look I can tell you
However, on the bright side, as promised the paclitaxel has let the hair on my head start to appear again - tingling and can actually feel fine soft stubble now. Seem to have a blonde/grey 2mm Ready Brek glow!
Naughty Boob - thanks for posting about the follow on support - like you idcand49 (sorry I donāt know how to tag!) Iām not usually into āsupportā either, but Iāve had a lot from this forum which I didnāt expect - just everyone āgettingā the feelings, and I think a further meeting place would be good for the same reason, possibly more so when weāre through. Once I know when my radio is, Iāll be booking too.
Well done on the college/uni visits - tiring at the best of times eh? xx
Great news that youāve booked, I wasnāt a support group type of person either but with this bc diagnosis I found it helpful being with people who got it without having to try and explain. @pipspops im sure you will benefit aswell, when youāre ready for it.
You are lucky to have Future Dreams near you they have a fabulous reputation.
If your eyes are sore you can ask your GP, breast care team or oncology team for artificial tears. I had carbomer gel and found it very helpful. You donāt realise what your eyelashes do until you loose them.
@idcand49 - Iām also having hormone therapy, along with bone strengthening treatment (it has a proper name which I canāt spell!) and Immunotherapy as well as radiotherapy once the chemo finishes. I think I ticked the box for every treatment possibleš xx
Think Iām on same journey as yourself. Got 3 chemo sessions left and had radiotherapy scan last week. My first session of 5 is on 19th November.
Got a horrid rash on my face at moment which coupled with the loss of eyebrows and lashes are making my feel hideous.
Tiny bit of hair is coming back but currently it seems so thin and very white!!!
Thankyou ladies for sharing so much itās so useful xxx
I had horrific bone pain in my back after 6th injection, I was called in as had other issues the Doc I saw said donāt take 7th one as makes no difference anyway I spoke to Onc after who just prescribed stronger pain killers but the pain was unbearable, due to take them again later this week and feeling very anxious xx
Thanks for the reply. It is the most horrific pain isnāt it? It woke me up in the nightā¦
Yes I rang the hotline who basically said all they do is monitor it. I told them I wasnāt going to take the 7th and they just said it was up to meā¦ glad I didnāt take the last one thenā¦if youāve been given the advice of not taking the 7th.
Yes Iām due to start the second lot on Saturday after my 2nd EC this Thursday! Placitaxel was literally a walk in the park compared to this .
Let me know how you get on - we can see how we both get on later this week! The anxiety of getting that pain again is horrible isnāt it. Big hugs
I was awake most of night too, I have decided not to take all 7 again as my bloods seemed ok too!
I am due 2nd EC tomorrow, have felt pretty unwell since first dose 3 weeks ago so not looking forward to it lots of sickness/flu like symptoms, I was fine on weekly pac too so been a bit of a shock to the system.
Hi all @caz1970 ansd @kerrylou1
Im on EC too- had my 2nd dose reduced to 80% because of my awful diarrohea so this week my stomach is much better.
Iām finding the fatigue a struggle but that could be cumulative.
The hospital is moving on with my treatment and booked me a reconstruction appointment for end of October. Chemo doesnāt finish until end of Novemberā¦it all feels a bit too much.
How do you all find the treatments? Does anyone else feel overwhelmed? Any tips on how to cope? Itās beginning to depress meā¦xx
x
. Maybe then making use of local meet up groups might be of even more use, and might be something I look into if I feel I need it.
to feel more normal again. Something about going through treatment keeps you okay with your appearance because you know youāre working hard to beat this shit.
(I was blonde and never did much with them cos they werenāt a main feature or anything, but I can understand your frustration if yours were ace!) Went to put my mascara on to go for treatment Friday and I literally have 3 lashes left on each eye - poked myself in the eye with the wand and brushed mascara up my eyelidā¦ā¦ not a good look I can tell you 
time
I spoke to Onc after who just prescribed stronger pain killers but the pain was unbearable, due to take them again later this week and feeling very anxious 
xx
lots of sickness/flu like symptoms, I was fine on weekly pac too so been a bit of a shock to the system.