Millasmummy, so sorry to hear your upset. Not having your full diagnosis is awful. I had my bone scan today to. All I know its that I’m grade 3… Pos nodes and oestrogen negative. Still havnt had my biopsy results either…i had mine on 26th may!!! My BN said she would chase it up last Thurs, but still not heard anything. If your like me I’m emotionally exhausted…i want to know what else I’ve got to deal with. Its already looking bad. I’ve got mri and then ct still to come this week… Your not alone and I feel for you. Too me, this is a nightmare I can’t wake up from … Big hugs to you…xx
Big hugs all round.
Feeling frustrating, worried and lousy isn’t fun. You’re not on your own, we’re all here for you.
I guess it sounds cliché but take it step by step, day and day and we’ll get through this ‘process’.
X
Thanks for your replies Buster, Belle, Netti and Nevis, I can’t shake it off today. Hopefully I will wake up differently tomorrow. I feel the same Netti just want to know everything about my diagnosis and at the moment I don’t. My CT scan is not until next week, I wish it was this week although my chemo starts this Thursday. Do you have your first chemo date Netti? Yours is Thursday too isn’t it Belle x
Don’t know when I will start. I’m guessing June …i will see my onc on 13th. By then all results should be back. I’m dreading it, but also just want it all to start. I still can’t believe I’m even in this position. Some days I’ve been ok… But others I feel so sorry for myself and just get so upset about the future. Even the bone scan nurse said I looked petrified today… I’ve been offered counselling too. How do they expect me to behave??? Xx
Hi netti37
I was told by someone that had been through this that no-one has the right to tell you they know how you’re feeling. Everyone will deal with it differently and you’ll probably react in a way unique to you and you’re going though a pretty rough time.
I’ve had to call in reinforcements to help look after my 2 year old because I just couldn’t cope for a few days. I’m trying not to beat myself up about not being able to look after my own son but it’s a challenge for me
Nev. X
I’m certain I’ll start my treatment in join…i don’t want to wait much longer. So I’m here in June starters, hope no one minds. I’ve been following all of your stories for weeks. I don’t know any of you, but the connection I feel is so strange. I wish us all the best of luck and the strength to be able to get through this, those who have started treatment already and those still waiting. My family, although extremely supportive don’t understand my need to come on here and read other posts. I must admit its taken over everything but we get so much reassurance from others who know exactly what we are feeling. Thank you ladies. Big hugs to you all. Xxxx
Big hugs to you all. Sue you really know how to put things into words. I’m still in the ward with such poorly ladies. really hard to see but feel helpless because I can’t help when they call for help. Also feel so vulnerable because different staff do things differently and then the explanations don’t add up. It’s scary. Then you read about permanent harm from the chemo then panic you praps should not be doing this to yourself but then you haven’t really got a choice. So your analogy resonated with me. I try to take control by ordering the wig, painting my nails dark, I even had my eyebrows tattooed trying to prepare. Now its started I’m panicking. Probably because I’ve lost control again. But there is no answer, you have to ride the waves. Xxx
Thanks Sue for that analogy it really does describe the experience so far and what’s to come. I will try to remember this when I’m struggling. To you ladies who have had their eyebrows tattooed, have you gone semi permanent or permanent? I haven’t had mine done and my chemo starts Thursday. Is it too late now, does it take time to recover, scanning etc? Thanks. X
Hi Millasmummy, I looked into this quite a bit to preoccupy me. The tattooist that did me said that cosmetic tattoos dont have metal in them and when I ask in radiography during my scans etc they didn’t seem concerned at all. But you’d obviously have to check with the specific,tattooist. As far as if its too late, I was told approx 6 weeks after my surgery which it was and as you have to have them topped up make sure there are 4- 6 weeks apart and fully healed approx 4 weeks before chemo because of the infection risk of exposed wounds xx
Enjoying my last day at work before starting steroids tomorrow, visiting the lymphoedema clinic and then hospital for medical photos and blood test ahead of my first dose of docetaxel on Thursday. Finished my epirubicin chemo in Jan last year so have had a good run without treatment but lymphoedema is pretty bad now so hope the treatment will improve that. All the best to everyone else starting chemo this week.
Hi mollymay,sorry to hear about your lymphoedema ?. I didn’t realise that you could leave such a break between fec and dox Was it a medical reason? Hope all goes well. Take care xxx
Belle, I’m thinking we all must have to go through the same emotions as everyone else at some point. For me i was joking around at first not really taking it seriously looking back
or maybe in denial. I thought I was ok but then have wobbles along the way. I keep saying this but I think you gotta try and ride the waves a bit. Just allow yourself to feel whatever it is and put one foot.in front of the other. Its really hard and your fighting so remember your a warrior. Big hug
Oh Belle, I think we all have to go through the same emotions eventually just at different times. I dont think I took it seriously at first probably in denial. I keep saying this but allow yourself to feel and just put one foot in front of the other. You’re fighting back so as my husband reminds me you are a warrior. Big hug
Hi all, I’m from the January thread so finished chemo end of April. I had fec-t chemo and found that my brows didn’t start to thin out until the T part of the chemo. I was lucky to keep some of my brows (though what was left went very fair) so I still had some shape which I coloured in with an eyebrow pencil and coloured wax. Good luck to you all starting this month xx
Hi all,
Had my first chemo yesterday.Wasn’t as daunting as I thought it would be, took 2 hours.I felt very lively for a few hours but then started with feeling woozy and ended up being sick twice. Had a restless night probably due to steroids, gutted as I feel shattered.
Struggling this morning, felt like i’dont been hit by a steamroller but probably due to the shock of chemo and no food.
Ate a little toast and had my tablets this morning and I’m slowly feeling a bit more normal.Looks like a day on sofa today. Just hard when you’ve got to get the kids ready for school.How did everyone else feel on the first night? X
I felt like you when I got home, pretty normal then about 1800 started feeling really sick. I cried when my husband put a plate of food in front on me because the thought of eating it was horrendous! However I managed half a plateful and it made me feel ten times better so I suggest eating even if you don’t want to. Lasted about 3 hours and then the sicky feeling kicked back in so went to bed and the laying down settled my belly enough to sleep. X
Thinking of you all and hoping its gentle on you. Not too gentle though its got a job to do but kind. Lots of hugs Buster1 xx
Good luck ladies for tomorrow. Will update after. Belle that’s a gorgeous bottle of Gin ? X
Hi all
Thinking about all of you that are having your first session tomorrow.
Its not nice but a means to an end. Ive had my up and down days since my first session on the 1st June and admit that I have struggled but sharing on here and reading everyone elses posts have helped me along as I know that it is not just me. I slept on and off for nearly 3 days from Saturday but have now managed 2 days back at work and feeling better all the time. Its an uphill struggle believe we can all make it with a little bit of support.
Take each day as it comes and listen to your bodies. See you on the other side.
Hugs
Julie
Take care all.
I didn’t feel like eating (most unusual for me!) but I’m finding that little and often is helping me through and I’m feeling better for it.
Nev. X