Yay well done Em, 1 more ticked off and glad it wasn’t as long as expected. Keep us up to date with how it goes, hope you got some sleep last night after the steroids.
CDC., Poor you with the sickness it really hits you doesn’t it. I have found it lasted longer on cycle 3 but I must be lucky as I’m not usually sick, just once j think. I have the metoclopramide pills for as and when and have not yet finished one packet throughtout but I find j eat more to stave off the sickness. This week I feel pretty normal again which is nice and am working full time to make up some hours as my boss is so lovely and has allowed me to work as I please, I work at home so it’s not too difficult with the children off. Glad you’ve sorted out time for you with OH, it’s good he’s going to take time off next cycle. My OH usually has the chemo day off although he can work from home too so sometimes has a couple of days off. My mum comes over usually on day 3 and does my housework and cooks for us which helps and makes her feel useful. So I am quite lucky in that respect also as children old enough to sort themselves and as teenagers they are off doing their own thing a lot.
Lisa hope you are feeling even better today and slept well in your new bedding! Your T Rex arm , did it feel like it was bruised inside and like you’d pulled the muscles? Mine has full movement but if I press along it it hurts, thought perhaps it is something to do with veins and chemo ?
Regime the T Rex arm, mine is cording from the chemo which I’m having to massage and stretch to try and alleviate it. At its worst I couldn’t straighten it but I can now. The blood clot by the elbow didn’t help!
After work today is the day I’m going to stay at my sons for a couple of days. That gives me a 20 minute only commute to work and a nice view of the Royal Albert Hall when watching the TV. I’ve a feeling I’ll need to have a breather on the way up the 105 stairs though, they’re tortuous enough at the best of times!
Still side effects free on the T for all you ladies due to start it.
New duvets must be a BC thing!! I made oh redecorate the bedroom and en suite and I made new curtains and bought new bedding. It made me feel like my bedroom was a sanctuary ?
I felt rough yesterday. Probably because I overdid it at the weekend too early in the cycle. OH is in a foul mood, and history indicates that this will continue for some time. I will have to try and ignore it because I can’t cope with a row if I bring it to a head
Clare, I am really pleased that you have taken some time for yourself and stopped the stream of visitors! We think it will get easier as we become familiar with the treatment but fail to take into account the cumulative effect of the chemo. We all need to be a bit selfish even if it isn’t in our nature!
Much cooler today, so hopefully we will cope a bit better. Need to do some shopping so we can eat!!
Wow KTK you made curtains that’s fab, wish I could do that but pretty much struggle with a button! We had decorated our bedroom at Christmas so don’t think OH would be up for a new makeover! Blooming moody partners hey! I keep getting told I am too negative when I voice my fears… Thats so annoying coz it’s hard to be positive when you know come Monday I’ll be poisoned again! I do wonder sometimes how he would be if this were him? I hope I never find out obviously but intriguing nonetheless!
Gawd, my Oh would be a gibbering wreck if this was him. I think we women generally copy so much better with these things. Mine is really hospital phobic so only came to one A&E visit with me where he was a sweating wreck. I got one of the kids to come the next time. He picks me up from chemo every week but I can’t have him come with me, it’d be too stressful, for both of us.
Btw, my bedroom needs decorating if there are any volunteers
Hi all. Hope you are well and not too hot? Hot flushes for me today and head sweating ? so retreated to the sanctuary of the cooler bedroom and soft cool sheets. Had bloods for tomorrow and they have not rung so presuming 3rd cycle is a go in the morning. Physio say I have a little cording and tethering of the pectoral muscle on left hand side from op and right (t Rex arm) is still bruised and has limited movement. Apparently it’s bruise veins, have a pain killing gel and been told to get hemoriod cream with a small amount of blood thinner in it to eleveate the bruise so they dispersed quicker. Yes it feel like a pulled muscle and can’t straighten it or real high thing as it’s painful feeling it stretch. There is a noticeable mark there too, happens after every chemo, think it’s the erubicin (red one) that’s causing it. Regarding radiation they have said it usually happens 4 weeks after chemo but can have a break if I need it. It will be every day for 3 weeks mon to Friday at notts city hospital. Ryan is having tomorrow off and coming to chemo again because I need him there, he can calm me down if I space out or get wound up. The stress and worry of all this tends to hit me in waves and when it comes to a head it really does blown, emotional mess. Have to remember one thing at a time and stay ?? sting. Big hugs and lots of love ladies and love having you ladies to chat to, as much as others try to understand they tend to tread on eggshells. With you girls I can say it as it is no airs and graces and know you understand because your living in cancerverse too. FEC all this worry and stress and roll on when we can all get off this rollercoaster that is cancer treatment xx
It’s still sweltering here at 29c. Looks like we might get a storm though, fingers crossed.
I know what you mean about the arm Lisa. I have all sorts of lumps and bumps and swelings on my chemo arm. Hopefully it’s not permanent.
At my son’s tonight and I actually made it up the 105 stairs without needing to sit down for a rest midway. Was a completely sweaty mess by the time I got to the top though and couldn’t get out of my work clothes and into shorts and a vest quick enough.Was mwant to be staying 2 nights but can’t now after a call from the chemo unit. I always have mine on a Friday and it’s all booked off work up to 19 October but this week they’re full on Friday so I have to have it Thursday instead. Normally I doss the day after so I’ll still take Friday off and ibe a weeks holiday next week so no work for 11 days after tomorrow…yay!
Good luck for tomorrow Michelle, hopefully less stressful than last time and less SEs. My arm sounds like that, no red fec this time for me so hope that helps. Hoping for a storm here tonight to cool things off .been too hot today especially trying to work. Just opened the newspaper and first thing read is a lady with breast cancer… No escape and always sets the worry gremlins off.
Hope everyone is ok and ha be a good sleep tonight.
CDC glad you find the bald head sweaty, I do to even without wig or scarf, strangely I find it chilly in bed tho ? Are you painting nails dark for T? My chemo nurse said not to just use clwar polish so they can see what’s happening to nails but I hear conflicting things?
Much cooler here today. Stripped the bed, washed, line dried the bedding and remade it!! Lay down for a rest!!! Then went and did a food shop with a short detour via a local ice cream hut at Monkton. If any of you are traveling down to the SW on the A30 it is just before Honiton and well worth stopping for!!! Took my son as an excuse?
OH is making a bit more of an effort. I think the heat and lack of sleep had got the better of him and he will be back to normal soon enough. I can’t believe how fatigued I am this cycle. I have been back to ‘normal ‘ by now, but everything is exhausting atm.
Curtains are easy! Just rectangular blocks. The first time I had to cut holes in the header for the curtain rings was scary though!
Clare, I don’t know how anyone affords to buy a house in London and I feel so sorry for young people trying to get on the property ladder too.
Good luck for tomorrow’s chemo. Keep positive. We are all there with you too. Kxx
Morning, what is it with OHs at moment. I’ve just had words with mine! I am feeling down again, woke up teary and fretting about chemo, the future etc went to hug him and he just lays there unresponsive and says I am bringing everyone down around me with my negativity and that’s it’s not just about me! I’ve got to just get on with it!!! He’s never been a very huggy person I think due to upbringing and isues in childhood . Sometimes all I need is a cuddle and reassurance and he can’t do it. I know that but it’s so hard painting on a brave face for everyone all the time. I think he thinks once chemo is over I’ll just bounce back to the old me, I don’t think I’ll ever be me again! Sorry for the downer guys, feeling miserable :smileysad:
Morning Kip, your entitled to feel down and teary any time you want. Not that any of us can control our moods with all these drugs and chemo in our systems. All we need at times is a big hug and someone to tell us it all going to be ok. I can’t physically give you a hug but sending a virtual one. I know everyone we love is going through this with us but we have to realize it not quite the same. We have the physical, mental and emotional anguish and releasing that through tears or shouting and screaming is healthy rather than putting on a I’m ok mask. Just know your not alone in your journey and we are there every step of the way. With cancer in our lives on the tv, and in the papers there is no escape from it. I just ask one thing, if it gets to be more bad days than good and feels overwhelming please talk to someone i.e medical professional. It may not be just the side effects of having cancer and chemo. Sending much love and big hugs xx
P.s I agree we will never be the same us again, we will always live with this in our lives. We are becoming new versions of ourselves, evolving and changing and that’s ok. It’s a traumatic time. We will be stronger, more aware of the little comforts in life and cherish those moments we thought we would never have. Also in my case less able to suffer fools gladly and a little more selfish. You are a warrior and you are a strong ?? woman. You will get through this xx
Oh thanks Lisa, its so good to be able to talk (even if it is via this forum) with people who know what this is like. OH just sent me an email telling me he is always here for me and I am as beautiful now as I ever was - even minus my hair! Just wish he could say that to my face, but I guess he’s always been that way and I can’t change him, who knows how this feels from their perspective. Yes a new type of me is what I should focus on, I’ve got myself back up now, dressed, make up on… was about to say done my hair but that wouldn’t take long! And now working so got something to focus on, plus OH sent me an email from a friend of his who has a friend who is 7 years post BC and doing well… always help to read a positive story as you do only get to hear the bad ones on the TV etc.
Thanks for the pep talk, onwards and upwards as they say!
Kip you more than welcome. Well my make up on and dressed getting ready to take my emend and 3rd session of chemo this morning, if my bloods ok. Fingers crossed ?? this session will be better than the last. Will post as and when I can, much love to you all. Stay strong ?? speak soon xx
Sounds like your OH is trying to make amends but I totally get that you need to hear the things he put in e-mail from him in person Kip. Well done for getting up and persevering. I agree it’s great to hear positive stories. A real boost when all the exposure to cancer is overwhelming I really am sending the hugest of hugs to you.
This is hugely personal (but I guess we’ve talked about so much together on the forum I can share it with you) but if it helps I’m in a complete rage with my OH- I made him sleep on the couch last night after he told me he was discussing the fact that I’ve lost sensation in my breasts (since my therapeutic mannoplasty) with my 17 year old ‘possibly transgender’ step-son (born female) who is considering having a mastectomy. WTF and! Aaaagh- I don’t know where to start with how inappropriate that is and how betrayed I feel!!! Also I didn’t have a choice- I have cancer!!! It’s bad enough having to have our bodies prodded and poked by the medical profession without them being used as a topic open to general discussion. I’m not sure how i’ll forgive him. He comes from a family with very few, if any, boundaries (except talking about emotions which is just not done in their view). They make no concessions to childhood and my step-kids were exposed to all sorts of inappropriate films and topics of conversation from a young age. My OHs first wife is from a very similar background so they just think it’s normal. I don’t think I would stay sane if I didn’t have my therapist to discuss things with but she’s away on holiday!! Every time I have any contact with my in-laws and often with my step-kids it ends in disaster. Thankfully, he’s agreed that it’s time to focus on our little unit- I just hope for once he can stick to it. In his own words he said ‘there’s a lot of family healing to be done’. I suppose as someone pointed out they have also been thrown into this Cancerverse. It’s new to all of us. I love my husband dearly but just can’t stand him at times! I k ow BC has changed me irrevocably and not all for the bad (eg remembering to put myself first when needed) but it also changes family dynamics. Just hoping we can get through this.
I’m off to my Mums for a couple of nights with my daughter so hoping things will have calmed down when we get back. I hope so!
Sorry for such a heavy post and thank you all for being there. So glad we ‘found’ each other! Huge hugs xxx
