Just got my confirmation of radio
I start on 7th November for 15sessions…
It sounds awful but one step at a time.
Feeling very run down after last chemo and emotional, especially as everyone else in my family and friends group seems to be celebrating end of chemo and I just don’t feel jolly. Especially as it’s breast cancer month and it’s everywhere and I’m feeling quite triggered at not hearing many stage 3 success stories where the cancer doesn’t eventually come back…
Maybe cake will help… I’ll go in search…
Much love to all
Charley
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@charley we’ll get through those 15 sessions together. I’ll let you know how I get on when I start on the 4th. Have you had your scan yet? I haven’t been practicing the breath hold technique since chemo as too knackered but will start again once I feel better. However, I managed it ok during the scan so not overly worried. We’ll get through it. In the meantime definitely treat yourself to some nice cake, you deserve it.xxx
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The best way to celebrate, congratulations! I hope the side effects are ok this time round.
Lovely photo of you too x
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Hey Charley, I’m stage 3 too and go down that rabbit hole. When my mind isn’t going to dark places, I take some comfort in thinking that people move on, leave the forum etc and are more likely to post if it has reoccurred than if it hasn’t (as they’re off enjoying life). I hope that this helps you too. Be kind to yourself and enjoy that cake xx
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Ye Ha 
@alig1961 well done and the cake looks delicious and well deserved! You looked super too 
. Thought of everyone as I tucked in today to a cream slice with mum - mum said no 
luckily I didn’t eat both but could’ve easily. I didn’t need an excuse!! Note to self - must stop the daily cake and move to weekly ……
#proud of what we’ve all achieved so far on this journey…… baby steps xx
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@charley I didn’t actually ask what stage I was and my onc didn’t focus on that at all, just kept talking about treatment and cure. I know that you can look on here for the stage etc… etc… but in all honesty I don’t think me focusing on that helps. I had 2/25 lymph nodes affected so that could triggers lots of scary stories I’m sure!! At the end of the day, none of us know what the future holds with or without cancer. I went through a stage of ‘enjoying’ reading about other 50somethings being killed in a car crashes or even murdered as it gave me some comfort (!!!) that life is random and any random thing can end it in an instant.
Rather dark I know but my counsellor said it was ok to think like that …but did suggest I work on turning the volume up on the positive stories (Amy, Kylie, LOADS of celebs who have been through this and are surviviing and loving life) and turn the volume right down on the negatives. None of us have much control over life but do we do have total control over our thoughts! Of course I don’t get this right every day but if I get it right most days, then that’s ok.
But BC month can do one in all honesty… I have to change channels or grab my phone to look at it if I see any bloody cancer adverts!!!
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But hey, it’s Friday… the sun is shining… my boys have an inset day today and we’re going to Beachy Head for a lovely walk and then a gorgeous pub for lunch and CAKE (yes… more than once a week -you’re right!). No more chemo, picc lines, radio will be a doddle. Life is pretty good today. Happy Friday team xxx
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Sounds like a lovely day, enjoy! X
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A great way of looking at things @donna_51 as always 
My Onc didn’t mention a stage either, just Grade 2. I’m definitely using Amy/Kylie and people I know who I’ve since discovered have been through this as positive role models.
Little positive for today for me. My day off and can relax in bed with a cuppa instead of rushing out with the dog before the nurse comes round to do my PICC line, plus I’ve been able to shower this week without cling film round my arm! Little wins 
Enjoy your day out Donna and wherever anyone else is at, hope you manage to have a nice weekend.x
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Hope everyone is ok today!!
Well I’ve had a weird morning. I got up to find when I had my breakfast that my taste has mostly returned I then went to wash my face and saw that half my right eyebrow has disappeared overnight 
I put my wig on to see friends for coffee and felt very nervous it being the first time I’ve worn it with outside the family people, apart from shops. I couldn’t get it right, it felt like it was slipping etc so I said I wouldn’t go out. Hubby persuaded me to take it right off and start again. I did, went to coffee and had a great time - chocolate cake that I could taste. Of course my friends were lovely. I know they would be even if it looked crap but one of them said ‘blinking heck, makeup and a proper hairdo, who are you? I don’t recognise you!’ Christ only know what state I normally look 
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@ljlj @wjs @donna_51
Thank you thank you and everyone else, you have perked me up.
I didn’t get told a stage either but I looked it up… my pathology scores were on the paperwork too…
You have all offered wise words.
I managed an hours dog walk today so feeling a bit better… and the sun is shining
haven’t had my scan yet , it’s coming up.
Hope everyone has a good weekend
Best
C
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And I’m Over all the pink breast cancer ambassadors having fun at the events … those who haven’t actually had cancer.
It’s certainly not pink or pretty …
Next week I will have a media block out but I’ll catch up soon with you all xx
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Anyone else feeling just a bit meh today. I hate the days after chemo. No energy to do anything, worrying about going out as white blood count is so low. Injections to take that make you hurt. Looking at housework but no stamina to do it and nothing tastes right and sleep is rubbish. But it’s the last cycle!
Have started my online Christmas gift shopping. Xx
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@alig1961 definitely not feeling it today. Feeling meh too and so tired. Taste goes and appetite goes. But hey, it was/is our last chemo. Although I can’t look at Christmas things yet!! 
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It’s crap but these are the worst few days and then IT’S OVER. You won’t have to do it again. I found this last cycle the easiest in a way physically, though I was more impatient than before to get to day 10 because, I think, that I then know it was over, so in some ways it was worse. I found the no taste thing the hardest this time. My taste is now back and my husband has just had to wrestle a packet of Jaffa cakes from my clutches. Why? Who knows, but I suspect that I will find the wrapper in the bin later
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@alig1961 I felt like that this week too. Although it’s the last one it’s not really over until at least a week later and those awful injections are done too. I found I’ve been really impatient to reach this weekend and have been quite grumpy. I’m day 8 now and I’m still lacking any energy but my tongue is finally returning to normal. So hang in there you will come out the other side.xx
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I felt exactly the same as both of you. I am day 12 now and my taste us back and i have more energy than ive had for the last couple of cycles. Not normal but improved. Im sure thats because i know i dont have to do it all again in a week. You will both get there very soon - lots of love 
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Good morning everyone … firstly I want to say a MASSIVE thank you for all the kind words and well wishes … I really appreciate them all 
Obviously the last two weeks have been quite rough … my chemo went well but like a lot of you I am finding it harder and harder to bounce back … I’m so so tired and coupled with the loss of my dad I’m extra teary, emotional, and if I’m being honest a bit angry!! So I’ve just tried to be extra kind and take things very easy! I’ve signed my self off work now for a bit … I have a note for 28 days but I was going to see how I was after half term and make a decision, but that’s the last thing on my mind at the minute tbh!
I have one more chemo to go on the 23rd … my dad’s funeral is the 17th so an emotional couple of weeks coming up! I’m feeling a bit lost with my plan at the minute but have an oncologist appointment on the 22nd and scans booked for the 29th so hopefully will know more by the end of the month … focus right now is helping my mum through the funeral and my last chemo!! They have actually stopped my immunotherapy for now (something I didn’t know about until day of my treatment when one nurse tried to give it to me before the other nurse quickly stopped her 
) … due to low cortisol levels (apparently they should be around 300 mine were 130 on last check) but apparently can’t check again until after chemo is completed and the next available appointment for that is the 21st November… which I think is ages away but all questions for my oncologist like I said not a clue what’s going on really at the minute 
I am so happy to read that @donna_51 @pat @collywobbles @alig1961 @jojoh you have all finished now … sorry if I’ve missed anyone!! I bet that was an amazing feeling I loved seeing your pictures ringing that bell!!!
@pat I have also now lost all my eyebrows… which is really upset me … as I was always quite proud of them weirdly 
I feel that now coupled with my lovely dark raccoon like rings round my eyes I am now a walking poster girl for cancer and I shock myself when ever I can be bothered to look in the mirror!! On the positive side my hair is weirdly starting to grow back a bit … it’s very white and fuzzy … almost like a baby duckling! Anyone else have this??
Also weight gain … obviously to be expected due to the copious amounts of cake 
but is anyone else experiencing lots of bloating … like massive belly bloating … and sorry to be quite descriptive, but lots of gas and bowel issues … from very constipated to then quite regular?!? Sorry! Ha!
@bettyb24 i read your comments about feeling rubbish as a mum, and I just wanted to say please don’t … as someone who is constantly beating myself up about feeling the same … your kids will understand and your not … you need to concentrate on yourself just for now. Hard I know … I feel so guilty of all the things we’ve missed out on this year but am making big plans for 2025 … the one thing I’m actually looking forward to the most, and it’s so small, is taking my youngest swimming … once this flipping PICC line is out!! We are all great mums doing our best in such crappy circumstances
I think it was you @wjs that said you were now starting to be more honest when people ask how you are? Well same!! I’m tired of trying to put on a front and be strong … it’s bloody tough and we have all been through so much over the last few months (with plenty still to come) and trying to emotionally protect others is no longer on my agenda … your asking … your getting the truth from now on!! And actually I think it helps us more being honest! So keep going 
I hear a few are also having mouth issues … oh my goodness … my tongue is disgusting and I have awful acid reflux … I have mouth wash / tablets / good oral hygiene but it’s just so flipping sore / furry / everything tastes awful, … even cake, which is obviously more distressing only things that do taste good are very salty things right now … which is not ideal because after everything then feels worse!! Bloody chemo
It was so good to read so many postive posts and helpful posts ready for the next stages … so thank you!!
I am just so grateful to be part of this amazing group … what a set of ladies we all are Thank you
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