@donna_51 here’s to much more happiness for everyone! Love this.
I cried at a Come dine with me the other week??!!
@pat @collywobbles let those emotions flow. Its been a strange time and all odd emotions for us all, mine is a lot of guilt …
Wishing a peaceful restful sunday before another week begins.
Lets all do at least one kind thing for/to ourselves today…xxx
Hi everyone,
Thought I’d check in.
I’m halfway through my radiotherapy , just over a week to go. My chest is starting to feel sore and my arms achey from keeping them above my head for the sessions.
I have been reading through and my family are the same, expectations I’m “ back to normal “
I turned 50 on Sunday and did have a nice day but they all expected me to be in full on celebration mode which I wasn’t…
Anyway @jojoh i had the no dressing for my mastectomy in May. No dressing ,no bra, nothing ! He says they use surgical glue , no stitches, it’s waterproof so you can shower. It was a shock as I didn’t know til I woke up and looked but I had no issues at all and it healed so quickly.
I did have a drain for a week. It was fine, the nurses gave me a little shoulder bag to put it in. To be honest the whole thing was easier than chemo.
I asked for a psychologist for counselling and I started last month. They do a therapy here called ACT acceptance and commitment therapy. It lasts for 24 weeks. I have number 3 today , going every two weeks. Only had to wait a month from referral worth it if anyone wants more sessions.
All free.
I’m in Sheffield and it’s snowed a blizzard last night so snow boots on for a trudge 2 miles to the hospital for therapy then radiotherapy…car is stuck in our road …
It’s so lovely to hear people’s stories and know we are not alone. It has made such a different to me being on this group since June.
Thank you everyone…
Charley x
@charley happy birthday, welcome to your 50’s (imade it last year…here’s to our 50s getting better!)
well done you on the snowy walk! Thats amazing service for the counselling…im down south, not quite so streamlined. Ive been bounced back from Macmillan centre to my GP, and ive had to do a self referral. Just as well im pretty well supported here and at home, and not desperate…
Im 9 RT sessions out of 20 down. Im starting to feel a bit sore on the skin and achey in my shoulder/armpit but not too bad…
Hope everyone up north is snow safe and everyone keeping warm as temperature suddenly plummeted today!
Hi everyone … some really lovely honest posts to read through about all our emotions and as others have already said it’s such a unknown mind bending time there is no right or wrong and it’s better out than in!! My emotions are wild at the moment not sure if I’m coming or blooming going … so just trying to take one day at a time!
Happy birthday @charley … not the birthday celebrations I’m sure you were anticipating for the big 50 but you will just have to go all out for your 51st 
I’m trying to keep myself busy on the run up to my op next week and I’m doing my usual of focusing on really silly things that in the grand scheme of things don’t matter … anything to distract myself!! 
I did see a couple of surgery bras in Primark so bought those, my sister thinks I’ll need a couple of zip up tops as well, but I’m not sure. Those that have had lumpectomy and node removal how did you find getting dressed?
I’m a northerner as well @charley so had snow this morning … although not enough for a snow day so the kids were very disappointed that they still had to get to school! 
Thanks for the tips and advice @nicd … the teens thing I will hold onto as well, although after last couple of days with my eldest I’m also going with he’s just been a little s@@t at the minute 
I’ve got my first session booked in for next Tuesday and I think it’ll be really good to talk to someone neutral… I hope you get something out of it as well! 
As usual @donna_51 your way with words fills me with joy! and I’m so glad you found that happiness feeling again 
Hope you all have a good week… and covering your lovely bald heads cos it’s blooming cold out there!! 
Thank you @charlie22 and @nicd
Just went out to try and walk the dog but everywhere is an ice rink and I’m paranoid about falling over and breaking something before RT is over so came home!
All the best xx
@jojoh are you in tomorrow?? If so, hope it all goes well. Just go with the emotions… let us all know how you get on. All a doddle after chemo but still hard to go through.
Happy 50th @charley … it’s just a number, there’ll be plenty more birthdays to come for you.
Hope everyone else is doing ok with radio, dates looming, medication… keep going team cake xx
Happy big birthday @charley I’m sure it wasn’t quite as you expected but I hope you enjoyed it as much as possible.
@jojoh thinking of you tomorrow ……
It’s chuffing cold down south but no snow… take care all this experiencing the white stuff and stay safe. Woolly hats a must!
Good luck all with continuing treatments … xx
Hi all, just catching up on all the posts. Good luck @jojoh and Happy 50th @charley.
My son was very happy with a school snow closure today - I was happy the roads weren’t too bad and I was able to get over to Derby for my radiotherapy!
I did have a laugh when talking to my friend about my session today. Just lying on the machine, arms up, boobs out and the male radiographer commenting on my earrings and the female radiographer liking my nails - just chatting to them like it’s the most natural thing in the world while they’re getting me into position.
Anyway looking forward to a celebratory meal out and catch with a friend on Friday after my last session! Then cake on Sunday for a Prosecco afternoon tea with some other friends 
Good luck @jojoh x
@wjs, nearly there…!! Celebrations in sight
@charlie22 re your question on what to wear after Lumpectomy op. I just wore sports bras i already had (pull over head ones were fine, i used my more stretchy comfy ones) and i could put tshirts over my head, didnt buy anything new clothes wise for it. I had Lumpectomy and one node out, so those who had clearance might advise something different…
But I think all of us who have had an op have said we’re pleasantly surprised with how much movement and speed of recovery post op… so hope the same for you and those with it to come
BTW, i had a rather delicious plum tart yesterday when I met my aunt…my cake contribution!! 
Isn’t just me… 6 weeks post chemo I will be on Friday. Almost finished my radiotherapy. But still no hair growth … I mean I have fluff. But I feel like that was still left from chemo and it’s just grown a bit?
Where’s my hair!? everything I read says it should’ve grown back by now.
I do have the start of mini eyelashes. That’s one saving grace. Teeeeny ones.
Hope you’re all ok xxxx
@charlie22 I had full node removal and I’m still wearing these… going to order some nicer ones from N.Jane over black friday as I’m going to get a prothesis fitted soon. I didn’t actually wear anything after surgery as I’m small but these are lovely and soft and fit a softie in etc… x
@ourkirst I’m now 7 weeks post chemo and all I seem to have is a ‘5 O clock shadow’ over both eyebrows…it looks like 2 small bruises over my eyes. I’m hoping it means something is happening. Just fluff on my head and occasionally a really long piece of hair that I need to cut off… crazy but I’m fairly confident it will come back… just takes time, sigh!
I saw my oncologist last night to catch up and discuss next steps … perhaps naively I expected the meeting to be more celebratory, well done, you’ve made it etc… but he was really brusk and went on about how the medication is just as important as chemo (really!!! why didn’t I just take the bloody medication then!!!) and chatted about risks etc… that put me on a bit of a scary downer. Having thought a bit more about it today I guess the meeting reminded me that I may never be ‘free’ of this ever. How do you move on from this and put it behind you when you have a daily reminder with medication?? Any advice from those of you already on medication, let me know… arrgghhhh… happiness vibe definitely gone this week!!!
Hope everyone else doing ok… xx
I felt exactly the same @donna_51
Mine said, we don’t even say cured …
The breast team say curable but not the Oncs
I have 2 yrs of a drug that I need constant checks with and 7-10yr s of the AI drug.
I’ve started this one 3 weeks ago and no side effects so far but the 2yr one has worse effects they say.
So I feel that too… how can you move on with it hanging over you and thinking about it coming back…
I did sign up for the Moving Forward 2 day course in Sheffield so hoping that will help.
It’s in January… don’t know if anyone is near Sheffield but come and join me if you are…
Take care all…
Good luck with the surgeries those about to embark on that…
Charley x.
Oh and I still have no hair either. …
Maybe by Xmas!!
Hi everyone!!
Hair - I’m 6-7 weeks post chemo and ive never had less hair. It’s literally dropping out all the time to the extent where I’m considering shaving the bits that are remaining. Getting a bit worried about it😟
Surgery - it’s done. Had it on Monday and came home yesterday. Lumpectomy and axillary clearance. The district nurse came this morning, changed the dressings, checked the drain and was happy with everything. The only annoying thing is that I have a small area on my inner arm which has a burning, stabby type pain sometimes when I move it. The rest of the inner arm is numb which isn’t a problem, presumably due to the nerves taking a battering during the operation so hopefully will improve soon 
Annoying as the 2 incisions themselves dont hurt at all!!!
Well done @pat , youre through! I hope the pain eases and sending gentle hugs.
All…hair…i think we all need to be patient, ive been told 3 months at least. Im only 8 weeks past chemo and silly fluff here…
Well done @pat - big hurdle completed. Glad you’re doing ok and hope the pain subsides quickly.
Hair? I’m 6 weeks past last chemo and still a bit of colourless fluff! Nails were fab during treatment - now they’ve been obliterated and look terrible - just ripped off! So no hair/no eyebrows/a few eyelashes don’t sleep great on the new pills / more tired than I was on chemo but apart from that I’m great 
. I think our bodies will take time to get rid of the sh*t in our systems and meanwhile on the mental rollercoaster. We are getting there…. It’s just slow. Sending hugs to all xx
@jojoh hope today went well and you have a good night. x
Well done @pat, glad all went well and hope things settle down soon.x
Hi everyone … well it all looks like we’re in the same boat more or less with the hair … we will get there and I look forward to the posts were we are all saying how it’s growing 
@pat hope your recovery goes well 
how do you feel today? I’m getting a little nervous about mine next week now!! 
I’ve tried to explain to my partner, as he told me last week he “just wants all this to be over” … that it’s not quite that simple! And as much as I would love to be like I was before, it’s not happening … well not yet anyway!! Like we’ve all said the drugs to take years after (I’m not even there yet) and also the worry of reoccurrence (although trying hard not to worry about something I can’t control) and just the whole impact of this sorry experience effects you forever!
I’m sure we will all find our ways of coping and getting on as normally as possibly but it’ll be tough!!
That course sounds great @charley … I think I’ll still be having radiotherapy then so will bear in mind for when I’m finished!
Thanks @donna_51 for the link … I have something similar so glad I’ve bought wisely 
Take care all … keep being kind to yourselves
Well done @pat another massive hurdle done… you’re getting closer to the ‘end’ !!! Celebrate now with CAKE… and then some more CAKE !!!
@collywobbles what meds are you on? I’ve now been prescribed Letrozole when I thought I was getting the other one. The onc did try to explain the difference blah blah, menopause, blah blah but I wasn’t really listening too much as I kept thinking about not being free EVER AGAIN!!! Don’t feel like that today though so it’s good that my downers don’t seem to last as long now, probably because I have life stuff going on which a good distraction /reminder to live it and enjoy!!!
@charley I’ve signed up for that course down in Brighton. I would much prefer to do the course with some of you lovely ladies … what a lovely offer. We can exchange notes next Jan!!! I’m hoping it will help get a bit more balance with my emotions. I don’t mind the different positive and negative feelings, it’s more the constant changing and not knowing what’s coming - hence the crying at adverts (you know the people on those stair lifts aren’t actually happy!!!) and programmes like Come dine with me !!!
@charlie22 it’s really hard when those closest to you, who have been through it with you, don’t 100% get it. I can see that my hubby is exhausted and he’s being made redundant next year so I know he wants to concentrate on himself now to get through that… but… I keep thinking , ‘I’m not ready to be normal yet’!!! If there ever is a normal again… a new normal, a new me, hopefully new and improved and living life to the full me… but that takes time … of course… so in all honestly my hubby will have to suck it up for a bit longer as I’m determined to take my time and really dedicate time to self care.
Hope everyone else ok… happy days xx
